Chapter 3

BROOKS

I got up and Crystal and Jonah were still asleep so I took a shower. When I got out, I woke Crystal up and told her to get ready to go eat breakfast. I went and woke Jonah up and told him the same thing. Once everyone was dressed and ready to go we headed out to The hole in the Wall. It is a somewhat new place I've wanted to try. Once we were seated, Crystal looked over at Jonah funny. I asked if she told him and she shook her head.

"Jonah got up last night when I was in the kitchen getting some water and he thought you were up. I think he may need to talk to you about something Brooks." She whispered to me.

"Did he say what he needed to talk to me about?" She shook her head.

"Hey Jonah. Are you ok? Crystal mentioned you were wanting to talk to me."

"Um. Uh. Yeah I'm fine. I was just needing some brotherly advice but it can wait." He said to me while trying to avoid eye contact.

"Jonah, You know if you need to talk to me you can. Is it something you would prefer to talk about in private with me?" I said to him as our server can to take our drink order.

"Yeah, it is something I would like to talk to you about alone. I'm sorry Crystal. I'm not comfortable talking about it in front of you." Jonah said as he looked over at her.

"It's ok Jonah. I understand you needing to have guy talk with Brooks. Other than Kinzlee I don't have anyone else to go to unless I talk to Brooks about whatever is going on and I feel a little awkward doing that especially if it's about him." She said while smirking at me.

I sat there with my mouth open in shock and put my hand on my chest pretending to be hurt by that. We all busted out laughing and waited on our server. After our orders were taken, I asked Jonah how things between him and his girlfriend Emmily were and he tensed up. Then said everything was fine. I knew from his tensing whatever he needed to talk about with me had something to do with her and I had a feeling I knew what it was. If it was indeed what I was thinking, I don't know what to say to him because well I had a screwed-up mind as a teen and an adult due to that and it almost cost me the one person in this world who truly makes me happy. I can't just tell him don't do it because I did even though I wanted to wait. I mean even though I was more or less tricked into it and I would still feel like a hypocrite if I told him not to do it. But then again there is one other thing he may be wanting to talk to me about and if that is what it is, it may be awkward but I can give him advice on that because it's normal for boys at that age. I mean I started doing it at his age so I really should have an issue talking to him about it.

While I was in my head thinking about what Jonah could be wanting to talk about, our food came out and Crystal nudged me to get my attention. After we ate, I asked Jonah if he was ready to go home or if he wanted to hang out with us for the rest of the day. He told me he wanted to go with us. I figured him and I could go out back and talk when we got back.

After we left, I stopped by the store and picked up some food for dinner and we headed back to the house. When we got back to the house I took the groceries inside and walked out back. I called Jonah to come out back with me and when he came out he asked what was up.

"Jonah, I think I should be asking you what's up. I saw you tense up when I asked how you and Emmily were doing. What was that about?"

"I. um. It's um. It's nothing Brooks." He said avoiding eye contact with me.

"Jonah, Don't lie to me. I know something is going on and I know it has to do with you and your girlfriend. You wanted to talk to me and I am here but you have to tell me what is going on for me to give you any kind of advice lil bro." He sighed and looked at me.

"Brooks, how do you know if you are ready to um you know take the next step?"

"Jonah, are you asking me how do you know when you are ready to have s*x?"

"Brooks, every time she kisses me I feel weird and something happens to me." He said while looking at the ground.

"Jonah, it's called getting turned on and it's normal for that to happen to a teenage boy or a teenage girl. I'm sure she gets weird feelings as you do and stuff happens to her as well. I can't really tell you when you know you are ready for that step but your body can. I, unfortunately, didn't have the opportunity to experience that. I was more or less tricked into doing it and I knew as soon as it happened something wasn't right. I didn't feel the feelings everyone talks about that comes from being with the right person. I mean yeah I got off but that happens. I didn't feel the love or passion with my first like I felt and still feel with Crystal when we make love." Jonah gagged and I started laughing.

"Brooks, that was too much information for me. For the love of god bro, she is my best friend and I didn't need to hear that."

"Jonah, you wanted advice and she happens to be part of my advice so deal with it, little brother. Look if you get turned on you know there is something you can do to relieve the issue. You can easily go to the bathroom and jer.."

"Brooks, for the love of god don't finish that, please. I get it. Ok I get it. I didn't think I needed to do that but I guess I have no choice because I really don't feel ready to go that far. I mean I am about to be 15 and I know 15 is too young to make a decision based off of my hormones. I guess I am just going to have to think of something other than what she does to me when we kiss while we are kissing so I don't end up like that again."

"Oh thank god you have more common sense than I did and are thinking more maturely than I was. I really didn't want to have this conversation because I didn't know how to tell you not to until you knew you were ready because of what happened to me. I didn't want to seem like a hypocrite for saying wait."

"Brooks, I know what happened to you wasn't your fault. That's why I came to you instead of going to dad. I knew you would give me the right advice because of what you went through. Dad would have probably just told me to use protection and been done with the conversation. I wanted the real experience of what happens when you aren't ready and I knew that you would be my best source for that advice." I sat there holding back tears that I really didn't know why were about to fall.

"Brooks, I know you say I am more mature than you are for my age but, to be honest, I look up to you and that is where I get my maturity from. I have seen the things you've done wrong and I learned not to do them. You are teaching me without even knowing it."

I didn't know how to respond to that. I sat there and the tears I was fighting to hold back streamed down my face. I pulled my little brother into a hug and held him there for a minute. When he pulled away he had tears in his eyes. We were startled by the backdoor opening and Crystal letting us know she was going to put the steaks in the fridge to marinate. She looked at both of us and smirked as she closed the door. I wiped my face and said come on kid let's go play madden until dinner.