Tuesday, January 18, 2022
6:45 a.m.
Today I wake up early in the morning and get ready to run. I walk out of home and start running. I’m thinking about the last day at school. It was really boring, frustrating and such a bad day. Today I’m not in the condition to go school but I have to go. Why I’m not going to school because of some shit people? I will go and I don’t care what the hell they are thinking about me. I stop and drink water as I’m feeling dehydrated.
“Hey.”
A voice comes behind me. The voice is of a man or a guy. I can’t differentiate as the voice is deep. I turn back to see who’s calling me. I see a guy standing and looking into my eyes and smiling. I look him and notice his personality.
He is tall, handsome and looks perfect.
His smile is attractive and infectious.
The dimples on his cheeks when he smiles.
His veins by which he gives hot flash.
His tousled dark hair which are lying on his eyes.
His brown killing eyes.
His lips look soft and warm.
He is damn perfect guy.
He is wearing a jeans and grey T-shirt. I’m having hot flashes and have butterflies. I have seen this in movies but today it happens to me. I’m having strange feelings right now. I have come across with these kind of feelings first time. I don’t know what makes me think special about him but I know the thing is that he is damn handsome guy. I don’t know what to say. I just staring at him and he is also staring at me. I really want to reply him but I have to control myself. I’m in confusion that is this called a love at first site or this is only the attraction which usually occurs in this age? I can’t distinguish. I don’t like to talk anybody even a hot guy is trying to get my attention. However I badly want to talk to him but this isn’t good. So I just turn back and start running. I don’t want to run. I really want to stand there instead. I need to talk to him but I also don’t want as I get irritated with talking, and I just don’t want to get irritated at least with him.
“Hey”.
I freeze. His voice collides with my ears. I can’t believe, he is just behind me. He is following me. But why? I turn around slowly. I face him. He is rubbing back of his neck with his hand. He fixes his eyes on me. I again have butterflies and odd feelings. I can’t off my eyes while looking at him. I’m too much attracted toward him.
“I’m Masson”, he says extending his hand out to me. I look down at his hand. I really want to shake but I don’t shake it because it’s too strange.
“What do you want?” I look back to his face. He laughs and his dimples reappears and now I’m having fear. Why the hell is he laughing? I don’t know but it’s freaking me out. He sighs and lock his eyes with me again.
“I know you.”
When he says, I become disappointed because it’s lame compliment that guys use to impress girls but I’m not going to impress with this line. I just turn around and start running without looking back. I enter in home and getting ready for school. I go to school in my car. As I enter the class, the students laugh at me and passing compliments in which I’m not interested so I sit on chair. Angel comes and shake hand with me. She again starts talking about her daily routine. She is too much talkative. As yesterday I’m not paying attention towards her. I’m waiting for teacher so that at least she could stop talking. I see a guy enter in class. My heartbeat increases when I see Masson enter in class. I freeze. What the hell is he doing here? He look at me instead he starts staring at me, smiling and his dimples appears. I want to hide but he already has seen me. I can’t believe, if he is real or it’s my imagination or anything else. I blink my eyes, trying to believe the situation. I start shivering. My hands, my feet instead my whole body starts shivering.
“Hey what happen to you?”
Angel asks. I look at her. I want to say something but I can’t speak. I’m unable to speak a single word. I glance back to Masson and then look at Angel. She also glance Masson.
“I know you’re having butterflies and all that”, she says while laughing. I give her hard looks. She stops laughing now.
“Believe me, I’m not insulting you, this also happens to me”, she says while staring at him. I look back to her. She is out of her control, staring and passing smile at him.
“Who is he?” I talk to her for the first time. She broaden her eyes and look at me.
“Oh my God, I can’t believe, you just speak out”, she says in an excitement. I smile at her.
“Finally you talk to me, oh wow”, she is still excited. I can’t believe that someone could be really happy by my talk.
“Oh by the way, he is our class fellow you don’t see him yesterday?”,
“No”, I say. I didn’t see him yesterday maybe because I was nervous about my introduction and didn’t notice anyone. I usually don’t notice anyone. But how the hell I didn’t notice such a handsome guy. The only thing which makes me feel disgust is his pickup line which he used in morning. I’m thinking all about him but maybe he just said it because he had seen me in class yesterday. I don’t know. What the hell is going on with me. He has been staring at me whole class. I feel awkward and I also having good vibes from him, I don’t know what the hell is going on. I sigh when the class is over.
I come out of class when I’m done with one class. I want to breath and be away from that guy. I still can’t understand why he is staring me all time. It’s strange.“I told you that I know you”, the voice comes behind me. I look around and see Masson is standing behind me. I become an angry.“There is a difference in knowing and seeing, you just have seen me, you know nothing about me”, I say in an anger.“We could know each other, if you want”, he say while smiling. I feel like if I stay for one more minute, I will kill him or myself. I run from there. I run as much as I can. I run to parking area, start my car and started driving. I drive really fast. I leave all my classes. Because if I stay there I will be more irritated. I enter home and walk to kitchen, drink water as my throat is too dry. I then go to my bedroom and lay down on bed. I sleep whole day.Wednesday, January 19,2022 1:51 a.m. I wake up. I still feel restless. I see my phone. There are ten calls from Ange
Wednesday, January 19, 2022 2:40 a.m. I’m still standing near my home where he left me and looking at a side where he left. I regret on my rudeness for the first time. I never felt regret on my rudeness before. I enter in my home still thinking about him. How stupid I am. How could I do that. He has saved me and I insulted him. How could I do that to a handsome good looking guy, who cares me and save me. I’m so silly girl. I don’t know how to behave with people or with handsome guy. I’m so arrogant. I enter in my room and lay down on bed. I don’t know how will I face him tomorrow in school. I think I should take a leave from school tomorrow. But no, I already have missed yesterday’s classes. I can’t take a leave. I’m so punctual type girl and I also want to see him tomorrow. I think I should apologize him for my behavior. I don’t know why I’m too attracted towards him. He is too handsome guy I ever have seen in my life and he gives me seductive feelings. I never felt se
Angel comes there and meet me. I’m too happy today. I don’t know this is right or not but this feelings. I like these feelings, instead I love these feelings. These feelings let me fly. I want to feel these feelings. I don’t want to let them go. I never have these kind of feelings in my whole life. “Why are you blushing Emma?” She asks in curiosity. I look at her and say nothing for a while. She is still looking at me, waiting for my response. So I shake my hand and say nothing. I don’t want to share these feelings with Angel or anyone else. I usually don’t share any thing, any feeling to anyone. And I think it’s my good habit. We move toward class to get our class. I see Masson sitting on his seat. As I enter in class, he look at me and there is something different in his eyes which I never have seen in his eyes. His eyes are clean and he is also feeling the same feelings which I feel. I think. I go back to my seat and sit. He turn around and staring at me. He stares at me whole
Wednesday, January 19,2022 5:16 p.m.I’m still unable to understand that what is going on with me. I’m changing myself slowly and slowly. I think about him all the days and nights. I can’t figure out the feelings when I’m with him. Today I’m happy in fact I’m more happy then ever before in my life. But I’m still in confusion that is it love or it’s hormone changes. As I’m going to 18 years old in few days. Anyways I don’t know what’s this but it’s the best feelings in the world. I’m lying on my bed and still thinking about him and shying. I’m excited to talk to him. I’m staring at my phone and waiting for his call or text. I want him to be with me right now. I’m imagining him on my bed lying with me. From now onwards Wednesday is my favorite day and 19 January is my favorite date.“Oh my God”, I exhale a deep breath. What the hell am I doing? Is this me? I’m tired of thinking about him. I can’t stop thinking about him. He is fucking handsome guy. I can’t help. I wonder i
“Lets go”, he is asking me to go, but I don’t know where he will take me. I think for a while. “Come out, we are going to restaurant in my car.” He is still waiting for my response. I climb out of car. He is stepping toward his car and I’m following him. I want to thank him for coming. I thought that he is not coming and I was very angry on him but now I’m in love with him more then before. He opens the front door of car and allow me to climb in and then turn toward the driving seat and sit inside. It’s my first time to go on date. I don’t know how to behave or what to say. I’m sitting in a silence. There is a complete silence between us for a while. “You okay?” He turn toward me for three seconds and then focus on driving. I tell him that I’m okay. I text Angel to take my car to her home. “So tell me something about yourself”, he says while looking forward. “You said earlier that you know me.” I reply. He laughs aloud and look at me. His laugh is incredible. I want to hear this
We leave the restaurant as soon as we finish the coffee. Now we are sitting in car.“Where do you want to go?”He asks. I want to say him to take me there where he wants me to go. Take me with you Masson. I want to be with you all days all nights and want to spend all moments with you. But I don’t say it to him.“Drop me home.”I say. He look at me like he is disappointed with my answer. I’m also disappointed with my answer. But I want to go home because if I spend more time with him, I can’t control myself to fall for him. I really want to give him a hug and tell him that his words make me beautiful, worthy and his words impact positively on me. I want to tell him that he is too beautiful and the words fall from his mouth are the most sweetest words I ever have heard. I want to tell him about all my feelings that I feel for him. But part of me don’t want to tell him that’s why I’m asking him to drop me home.He is still staring me.“What?”I ask him. He is staring me like he is about
Saturday, January 22, 2022 10:37 p.m.I’m sitting with my dad and mom, having dinner. We are having conversation as it’s Saturday and we all sit together and discuss our life with each other and it’s my dad’s idea. I really don’t like this idea. I hate this but I have to sit here.“So how’s your life going?”“Good dad.”“Good, anything new which you want to share?”I look up to my dad and think for a while. I don’t know, should I tell him or not but I think it’s not the right time as I myself can’t decide if I’m in love or not. The previous two days at school went good. We come closer to each other and we somehow know each other like I know his friends and we spend a lot of time with each other and even we sit together in class. Angel somehow feel jealous but then she allowed as she loves me. And now I’m close to Angel as well.Yeah I know it’s unbelievable.But.It is what it is.Now my life is change as previously I was rude and introvert but now I somehow have confidence
Sunday, January 23, 2022 2:29 p.m.I wake up, look at clock. I jump out of bed.“Oh God.”“Dad must be waiting for me.”How could I forget that dad always celebrates my birthday at restaurant. And dad told me that today we are going to have lunch at restaurant. I quickly get myself ready and go downstairs. I see my dad is waiting in launch. I step into launch and my dad hug me and kiss me on forehead.“Oh darling me and your mom are waiting for you.”Oh God she is also coming. Why she is coming?“Dad please stop calling her my mom.”“She isn’t my mom.”“She can’t be my mom.”“Ever.”I mumble. I look at her.“Happy birthday dear.”“Thanks Olivia”She pass a fake smile. I look at my dad and now he is looking at me disappointed. I know he doesn’t like that. He wants me to accept her as my mom. I know that he is disappointed with me because I don’t call her as mom. And I will never call her mom.“Ready to go?”My dad asks and I nod. We all getting out of home, enter in garage. My da