Angel comes there and meet me. I’m too happy today. I don’t know this is right or not but this feelings. I like these feelings, instead I love these feelings. These feelings let me fly. I want to feel these feelings. I don’t want to let them go. I never have these kind of feelings in my whole life.
“Why are you blushing Emma?”
She asks in curiosity. I look at her and say nothing for a while. She is still looking at me, waiting for my response. So I shake my hand and say nothing. I don’t want to share these feelings with Angel or anyone else. I usually don’t share any thing, any feeling to anyone. And I think it’s my good habit. We move toward class to get our class. I see Masson sitting on his seat. As I enter in class, he look at me and there is something different in his eyes which I never have seen in his eyes. His eyes are clean and he is also feeling the same feelings which I feel.
I think.
I go back to my seat and sit. He turn around and staring at me. He stares at me whole class. I really feel embarrassment because everyone else is watching me and him. But I don’t care what the hell they are thinking about. I just care that he is looking at me and I want him to look at me like this. The classes are over, everyone leave the class, only Angel, I and Masson are standing in class and I really want to run from here.
“Why he is staring you?”
Angel asks while laughing.
“I don’t know”. I say and look down.
“Emma”, Angel whispers. I look at her.
“He is calling you.” Oh my God why he is calling. Angel comes to know what’s going on between us. She laughs and asks me to join him. I stand up and step toward his seat. I don’t know what he is going to say, I feel nervousness. I reach at his seat and he says me to sit with him. I sit with him and he hold my hands. Wait, what he hold my hands.
He
Hold
My.
Hands.
I really want to run from here but I don’t. Angel leave the class and is smiling. I want to stop her. “Angel please stop, please Angel please”, I mumble. I want to go from here but I also want to stay here with him and want to have butterflies. I feel the warmth of his hands. I want him to hold my hands all day. He look into my eyes. I can’t make an eye contact with him. I’m looking at my hands which are in his hands. He pull his right hand from my hands and tilt my chin with his thumb and make me look up. I allow him to tilt my face. I inhale sharply and look into his eyes. I say his name over and over in my head. It’s the name of a guy who is going to be my whole life.
I’m going to fall in love with you, Masson.
His eyes are peaceful, beautiful. His smile is attractive as it was first day when I saw him. His hair are so beautiful. I want to touch them right now. His lips are like honey. I really want to taste them right now. His every body part is incredible.
“What’s your number?”
As he asks I smile and tell my number. I’m so excited I’m really so excited. He saves my contact in his phone. I will wait for his call and text all day. I want to ask his contact but I can’t. He put his phone in pocket and look back at me. He is again staring me.
“Are you busy tomorrow”?
He asks. I get excited again. He wants to spend time with me. I can’t believe. I want to say that I’m always free for you only. I will leave all the works only for you. But I don’t say anything like this. Instead I nod.
“I’ll call you then”, he smiles.
I look at his mouth. The words coming out of his mouth are the beautiful words I ever have heard in my life. He is invading me and my whole world. I want to fall asleep as there is peace being with him. He is my peace.
You are my peace, Masson.
You are going to be peace of my life.
We remain in same position for some time. He looks into my eyes, I look into his eyes. It’s the best eye contact I ever had made with anyone.
“We should leave now.”
He pulls his hand and stands up. Why he stands up. I don’t want him to leave and I really don’t want to leave. I want him to stay with me and sit like this with me. I want to ask him to stay with me and spend some more time with me and let me have peace. But I can’t. I stand up too. I’m looking down at my shoes.
“Good bye.”
His lips meets my head and I freeze. I feel embarrassment somehow, but I'm too happy that he kisses me. He kisses me and say good bye. I want to kiss him back hard but I can't. I can’t believe he just kisses me and buries his lips into my hair. I feel more peace. There is going to be a lot of peace in my life. If he is going to stay with me whole life and I need him to stay. Oh God please make him my peace. Please God. He leaves without hearing my good bye.
It's my best day of life. I'm too much happy.
Wednesday, January 19,2022 5:16 p.m.I’m still unable to understand that what is going on with me. I’m changing myself slowly and slowly. I think about him all the days and nights. I can’t figure out the feelings when I’m with him. Today I’m happy in fact I’m more happy then ever before in my life. But I’m still in confusion that is it love or it’s hormone changes. As I’m going to 18 years old in few days. Anyways I don’t know what’s this but it’s the best feelings in the world. I’m lying on my bed and still thinking about him and shying. I’m excited to talk to him. I’m staring at my phone and waiting for his call or text. I want him to be with me right now. I’m imagining him on my bed lying with me. From now onwards Wednesday is my favorite day and 19 January is my favorite date.“Oh my God”, I exhale a deep breath. What the hell am I doing? Is this me? I’m tired of thinking about him. I can’t stop thinking about him. He is fucking handsome guy. I can’t help. I wonder i
“Lets go”, he is asking me to go, but I don’t know where he will take me. I think for a while. “Come out, we are going to restaurant in my car.” He is still waiting for my response. I climb out of car. He is stepping toward his car and I’m following him. I want to thank him for coming. I thought that he is not coming and I was very angry on him but now I’m in love with him more then before. He opens the front door of car and allow me to climb in and then turn toward the driving seat and sit inside. It’s my first time to go on date. I don’t know how to behave or what to say. I’m sitting in a silence. There is a complete silence between us for a while. “You okay?” He turn toward me for three seconds and then focus on driving. I tell him that I’m okay. I text Angel to take my car to her home. “So tell me something about yourself”, he says while looking forward. “You said earlier that you know me.” I reply. He laughs aloud and look at me. His laugh is incredible. I want to hear this
We leave the restaurant as soon as we finish the coffee. Now we are sitting in car.“Where do you want to go?”He asks. I want to say him to take me there where he wants me to go. Take me with you Masson. I want to be with you all days all nights and want to spend all moments with you. But I don’t say it to him.“Drop me home.”I say. He look at me like he is disappointed with my answer. I’m also disappointed with my answer. But I want to go home because if I spend more time with him, I can’t control myself to fall for him. I really want to give him a hug and tell him that his words make me beautiful, worthy and his words impact positively on me. I want to tell him that he is too beautiful and the words fall from his mouth are the most sweetest words I ever have heard. I want to tell him about all my feelings that I feel for him. But part of me don’t want to tell him that’s why I’m asking him to drop me home.He is still staring me.“What?”I ask him. He is staring me like he is about
Saturday, January 22, 2022 10:37 p.m.I’m sitting with my dad and mom, having dinner. We are having conversation as it’s Saturday and we all sit together and discuss our life with each other and it’s my dad’s idea. I really don’t like this idea. I hate this but I have to sit here.“So how’s your life going?”“Good dad.”“Good, anything new which you want to share?”I look up to my dad and think for a while. I don’t know, should I tell him or not but I think it’s not the right time as I myself can’t decide if I’m in love or not. The previous two days at school went good. We come closer to each other and we somehow know each other like I know his friends and we spend a lot of time with each other and even we sit together in class. Angel somehow feel jealous but then she allowed as she loves me. And now I’m close to Angel as well.Yeah I know it’s unbelievable.But.It is what it is.Now my life is change as previously I was rude and introvert but now I somehow have confidence
Sunday, January 23, 2022 2:29 p.m.I wake up, look at clock. I jump out of bed.“Oh God.”“Dad must be waiting for me.”How could I forget that dad always celebrates my birthday at restaurant. And dad told me that today we are going to have lunch at restaurant. I quickly get myself ready and go downstairs. I see my dad is waiting in launch. I step into launch and my dad hug me and kiss me on forehead.“Oh darling me and your mom are waiting for you.”Oh God she is also coming. Why she is coming?“Dad please stop calling her my mom.”“She isn’t my mom.”“She can’t be my mom.”“Ever.”I mumble. I look at her.“Happy birthday dear.”“Thanks Olivia”She pass a fake smile. I look at my dad and now he is looking at me disappointed. I know he doesn’t like that. He wants me to accept her as my mom. I know that he is disappointed with me because I don’t call her as mom. And I will never call her mom.“Ready to go?”My dad asks and I nod. We all getting out of home, enter in garage. My da
Sunday, January 23,2022 3:40 p.m.I’m sitting on chair in my bedroom and thinking about my behavior with dad. I’m upset. I think I shouldn’t talk to my father like that. I have made a mistake. He must be angry with me and the most thing which is disturbing me is that he must be disappointed because I hurt him. I’m too bad. I should be satisfied and happy with my dad’s happiness but I’m too selfish. I hate myself but I hate Olivia more than anything. I just can’t see her in my house, with my dad. She is too irritating.“Hey.”I hear the voice behind me. The sound is very low. I don’t move.“Happy birthday, Emma.”This time the voice is high. I turn around and see Masson.Wait.What?What is he doing here? My heartbeat increases when I see him in my room. I become nervous. I look at window. He climbs in from window. Oh God. I have seen this in movies. And it’s my most favorite part of romance in movies. I can’t believe that it’s happening in my real life and my most favorite
His car is on the other side of my home. We walk toward car. He opens the front door for me to sit. He sit on driving seat and starts driving. I don’t know where we are going and I really don’t want to ask him. I already allow him to take me where ever he wants. I stare at him while he is driving. I want to admire his features. I want to tell him that his eyes are as deep as ocean. I want to drown in his eyes. I want to tell him that his lips are like honey and he smells like mint.“Are you here?”He asks. I nod and smile. Why he asks that? He looks nervous. I don’t know why. I should ask him. But no. I’m not sure if he wants to talk me about his matters or not. I shouldn’t interfere. But I also want to interfere. I want to tell him that how bad I want to interfere in his life.“I want to blindfold you for a while.”He says. I let his words sink in for a while. Why he wants to do this? I stare at him for a while. He is grabbing a blindfold in his hand. I let him to blindfold me. I don
He is looking into my eyes. He moves closer to me and kisses the upper lid of my left eye. I’m having butterflies. I can’t believe that how someone could love me this much. I never have noticed my eyes before. From now onwards my eyes are favorite part of my body.“Your hands are as soft as velvet. Your nose is cutest nose. And you know what, when you scrunch your nose, you look so beautiful”.He says. I laugh. I know I have bad habit to scrunch nose like little babies. I tried a lot to control this habit but I couldn’t. But. Wow. He loves this. He loves this part of me and now I love this too.He kisses my hand gently and kisses the tip of my nose and then rub his nose against mine. It’s too cute. He is adorable and he is invading me slowly and slowly. I want him to invade me completely.“You have best cheekbones.”He says and kisses on my cheeks.“And your lips are smooth, soft and are so pretty.”He is looking at my lips and I don’t know what he is about to do. Maybe he will kiss.