NATHAN CROWTHER

The sky was clear and the clouds were like masterpieces that adorned the blue of the sky, Louise lay down next to me on the green grass and held my hand, her smile was stunning always made the best parts of me light up with so much happiness, every moment next to her gave me peace, she looks into my eyes and says "I love you so much, let's have a baby" with every word said my heart was beating in my chest and happiness dominated me completely, but suddenly the sky turned black, very dark, I couldn't see anything, I look to the side and Louise was standing, holding her hand and now what was warm has turned to ice, the smile is gone, her face is lifeless, I start screaming for help, but nobody appears, I cry desperately but she was already dead and nobody appeared to help us, tears flow, the pain invades my being, I look at Louise however she was no longer there, disappeared, disappeared, "help" I scream however I'm all alone, there's no one else to save me from the darkness that was slowly engulfing me completely.

I wake up with a jump, my breathing was labored and I was sweating with the sheet completely soaked in sweat, these nightmares tormented me every night, I no longer knew what to do, I walked to the balcony of my room and leaned there, watching the stars, they always calmed me down on my worst nights, these terrible dreams always brought me the worst memories I've ever lived in my entire life, when I was sixteen I met the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, my father King Richard had decided to give a welcome ball for the King of Russia, Louise was in a red dress with a golden mask, her hair was black and her eyes were gray like the cloudy sky, her skin glowed a darker shade of gold, every feature of that princess completely stole my heart, over time we started talking, we had so many things in common, Louise besides being beautiful was smart and very sweet, a year passed her father made a political alliance with our the small country, Atlanta was at its best, before the war started, against Russia itself, Louise and I soon started dating, the alliance would become stronger from the moment the two of us got married, two years passed , I was nineteen and Louise eighteen, it didn't take long and I asked her to marry me, our families couldn't stand it with so much happiness, the people celebrated for a week after the announcement of our engagement, she decided that she was going to return to Russia and there she would choose her wedding dress, I said I didn't need it, that I would find one here in Atlanta, but she was so insistent "you only get married once in your life" were her last words before getting on that damn plane, which took my bride to grave and my heart that was buried with it. Tears fall down my face as I remember, I spent a year in mourning, nothing was important to me, in my view life was not worth living, everything we love most is taken from us as soon as life has the opportunity to do so , I didn't eat, I started having problems with alcohol and I never left my room, my mother saw the pitiful state I was in, she was the one who saved me from death, literally, one day I was so anguished and sad that I took all the medicines in my room, I had an overdose of medicines mixed with the alcohol that I kept consuming, my mother came to my room to see how I was feeling, but the door had been locked, she screamed but I didn't answer I had passed out , she says that this was the worst moment of her life to see me about to lose my life, when I woke up the next day, she begged me to fight for myself, for her, if I loved her I would continue my life, and it was at that moment that the queen brought me to reality again, i never got over louise's death, but i learned that it's best to hide how you feel, people will never understand what it's like to lose someone you love until it happens to them, today at the age of twenty one, I'm already bigger, soon I'll assume the throne and I need to have someone by my side, I was very clear when I said that I didn't want a princess, it would be too painful to replace that post that belonged to my eternal Louise​, my whole family supported me and they decided to give me one chance for the girls of our people, my mother's idea was to offer a real position to one of them, in fact the most talented, they called this competition "Diamond Crown" the most beautiful and talented young women in each sector would be obliged to enlist, my father found the idea incredible and spoke with the ministers who agreed, so starting tomorrow we will start visiting the training of these young women in their sectors, only the most qualified will come to spend a month here in the castle, even with everything what are they doing for me i am still not excited about the idea of ​​finding another young woman, i will never be able to find what i had with Louise, my life will forever be haunted by this feeling i still have in my heart.