Chapter 7

GABRIEL

***

“It’s my first day of classes Mom,” I said to the phone as I put on my left shoe. I had taken to calling her every day so that she didn’t feel as lonely as she was. She was all alone. She was yet to make any new friends and I didn’t want to put her in a position where she had to call me instead of the other way around.

“I know you won’t have a hard time catching up, but in case you do, please let me know. I know exactly who to call,” she said.

“Really? Who?” I asked, genuinely curious. Who could my mother possibly know that could help me with my studies?

“I didn’t want to bring this up until the weekend when we met but I met Terry. They moved here. Emily’s at Cresswell too,” she said.

I froze. She confirmed what I knew but was trying to ignore. I had seen her a few more times around the campus and had taken to avoiding her because I knew that that was what she would have wanted. But more than that, I did it because I was also upset with her. She left without saying anything and made it seem like I had done something to offend her.

I’m sure I had, given that I wasn’t the best friend I could have been, so that’s not what bothered me. What bothered me was the fact that she didn’t even consider talking to me about it. She just disappeared and refused to return any of my calls or respond to any of my texts.

I was just as angry as her as she was at me because I just couldn’t understand why she decided to act in the way she did.

“I’m sure I’ll do just fine but if I get stuck in any way I will let you know,” I said, “or better yet, I’ll just look for her now that I know we’re in the same campus,” I added, wanting to assure her that it was under my control. I hoped that it would discourage her from doing anything crazy. The situation was awkward as it was.

“That’s what I like to hear,” she said.

“I have to go. Have a great day,” I said.

“You too,” she said, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I said and let her hang up. I picked my backpack up from the floor. The fact that I had joined late had its perks because I got a room by myself. I wouldn’t get a roommate until the new semester and I was happy to have this space to myself for the next few months. I locked the door behind me and walked across the campus to my first class of the day.

I walked as confidently as I could but part of me was anxious about running into Emily. I didn’t know what I would do at that moment. Was I supposed to ignore her? Were we supposed to act as if we’d never met before? I couldn’t. I could do anything but that. For me, acting like enemies was better. At least it meant that we knew each other, even if we were not on good terms. At least I could redeem that, and try to fix things to the best of my ability. But acting like we didn’t know each other at all did not give me any chance and I couldn’t have that. I needed to have a chance.

I just needed to. But because I wasn’t sure, I was going to ease into the interaction. My image was also important to me. I couldn’t handle being ignored in public. I had taken to wearing a cap to hide my face. I was scheduled for a class with a certain Mr. Thomas. I managed to find the class just before it was due to start. Earl and the rest of the guys hadn’t done such a bad job of showing me around.

I walked in, and there she was. I didn’t know what I was supposed to feel in that moment, but what I immediately felt was a sense of familiarity. After all these years, she still sat at the front of the class. I had to smile at that.

My smile quickly faded when I saw that there was someone sitting next to her. I wasn’t planning to sit next to her or go anywhere next to her for that matter until I figured out what she felt towards me, but seeing someone else, some other guy sitting next to her made my blood boil with rage.

I didn’t know him yet, but I promised myself that I would find out who he was and give him a hard time. I covered my face with the cap I was wearing and walked past them, hoping and praying that she hadn’t noticed me. I didn’t want her running off again.

I sat a few rows behind them, but not too many because I wanted to be close enough to observe them, to see if that guy was going to hit on her. Mr. Thomas walked in a few minutes later and I was happy because I knew Emily didn’t talk during a lecture unless it was to answer or ask questions. She wouldn’t talk to that guy.

But then Mr. Thomas announced that he was sick and was giving us the lecture time to read. I couldn’t blame him but I wanted to. Why did he have to be sick today of all days?

Some people left the class after him and I took that as a chance to move to the row directly behind them. If she noticed, she didn’t show it. They sat in silence for a few minutes and just as I was getting comfortable, thinking that she was going to stay quiet for the rest of the lecture, she chuckled, and they started talking.

I watched them for a while and felt an ache in my heart. This moment reminded me of Reading Time back when we were in kindergarten. Was it the same for her? Did she remember?

I couldn’t take watching them any longer, so I walked out of the class. I didn’t care if she had noticed me, but part of me hoped she had. But more than anything, I was even angrier.