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Cravings 106
Silence, a void only one could hear and feel for themselves.“Scarlett, Sarlett, Scarlett.” They all called my name from different areas, but their voices never got to me.Could this be true? Could it be?My son is gone, and I am supposed to feel okay about it.I failed as a mother; I failed as his friend; and I failed as his world.When Leo needed me the most, I was never there for him. I don’t deserve happiness at all.My eyes closed as I allowed darkness to seep into me.*** **** ********* ********** ******* ****** ******* ****** ******* My eyes finally opened to see all of my loved ones gathered around my bed, with the beeping sound disturbing my hearing. I looked around, not saying anything. Where would I find the words?“Mum has woken up,” Carmela’s voice said out loud as everyone who was around the doctor soon came to me.“Darling,” Michael touched my face as he kissed my forehead. At first, I wondered why he was getting so affectionate until I saw who came as well.
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I visited the hospital frequently as if it were my home; I had to because Leo was yet to wake up and none of us knew exactly how he wound up at shore for that good man who was fishing to find him.Weeks after weeks, and though the doctors said he was responding to treatment and would probably wake up, there was still no sign of that happening, and now I am starting to become worried.For the first week, Leo’s health had been unstable. We received a lot of visitors at the hospital, but as the days pushed into weeks and then a whole month, everyone who we thought cared had soon forgotten and gone back to their own business.I hardly saw any of my friends around either; they were mostly focused on Laura for now, except for Melissa, and that is solely because she is Leo’s godmother; of course she has to be here along with her son.Even Rocky, whom I thought would be here every day, was also occupied, and I understand he has school and his mother to worry about, so maybe he can be excused
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Seth was shocked as to where I had gotten such courage from. I mean, I was drunk in his scent and clearly wasn’t thinking properly, but his saying I should go ahead was where I understood he wanted it too."Seth, look at where we are. Do you think God will want to see that from two fornicators?” I asked, and Seth burst out laughing.“Fornicators? So that is who we are now. I have never felt sin be this good before. You think maybe he will forgive us so easily?” Seth asked as he looked around the chapel.“No, God doesn’t work that way, dear; you have to be remorseful and actually pay the price for the sin before he forgives, I think, but though he is merciful, his forgiveness doesn’t come cheap,” I said, smiling. “I also don’t think we should be this close.” I tried to push him further away while pulling him back at the same time.“Since we are fornicators?" Seth laughed, and the room fell into silence as he gazed at me ever so lovingly. “I know this is wrong, but I miss you,” he said
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A heavy downpour of rain washed over Leo’s grave, and while everyone sought shelter from it, I stood there wondering how lonely it would be over there—no one to talk to, no food to eat—at least you wouldn’t have to study any more.My lips thinned as I exhaled deeply.There is no mother to tell you what you can and cannnot, how to live your life, or who you should be with.I kneeled down as I allowed the dirt to stain all over me, losing my mind at the thought that Leo was actually gone, like I would never get to see him again."Leo, I am sorry.” I cried out as all my pain weakened me. A snort came out of my nose as I continued to cry. It will take the intervention of everyone to leave my son’s at this point.I didn’t give him what he wanted and always found a way to make his life about Michael. I used him as a pawn to achieve Michael’s success, and I only started to feel sorry for it when he outgrew me.I never got to amend my relationship with my son; I never got to do that, and now
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A few talks with the officer were all I needed to get a name that I already knew. I couldn’t believe that the person I trusted so much about would have done this to me. I don’t deserve this. I may be a bad person, but I don’t deserve this at all.We drove over to my son’s murderer’s house as I begged for the police to let me speak to her personally; she is my friend after all.“She won’t harm me; Brianna already told me she would be waiting to speak to me,” I said, trying to convince the officer to wait.I knocked on the door of Brianna’s home, and it opened slightly, given that she hadn’t locked the door as she said she wouldn’t.“You came,” Brianna sat in the darkness of her home. I saw different weapons like a gun, a knife, and a couple of pills on the table. She said, “Don’t worry, they aren’t for you.”“I know,” I said. “You won’t harm me, Brianna.”“I hate you.” She said so simply as she whimpered silently, “You are so lucky; you have a good life, family, money , everything. I a
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“Why didn’t you tell me that Leo was alive? What was the need for keeping it away from me and from us?” Michael asked. Carmela had stared with the bitterness she had felt looking at her father this morning.“I did it so Brianna would confess,” I answered.“For fuck sake, Scarlett, if she had gotten arrested, she would have confessed either way; she killed our son, I mean almost,” Michael said as he moved back and forth.“And that is almost the reason he is alive today, Michael. I know Brianna was in her head yesterday, but she is not a bad person and still is my friend,” I acknowledged. “Everything she has done was to provide for her family; there is nothing wrong with that.”“By blackmailing you? Honey, have you gone mad? How can you call someone who has done all these things a friend? I pray she rots in jail for the sins she has caused you.” Michael pulled me and hugged me. I sniffed his shirt, and there was an unfamiliar scent—feminine, I would say.I already knew he had sex when h
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“Carmela, hurry up; you are going to be late for school,” I screamed from the kitchen where I was packing up her lunch. When I didn’t hear anything from her, I went to knock on her door. The door pushed open as I held it. “Carmela.”“Mum, come take a look,” Carmela pointed at the two vehicles with security detail waiting in front of Seth’s apartment.“Ignore them,” I said to her before closing off the curtain. “Seth said he will drop you off at school before we head to the hospital to pick up your brother. Leo is finally returning home.”“Yay,” Carmela feigned excitement. “I am sure he is going to gain all of your attention now.” My forehead creased as I looked directly at her. I saw a small smile on her face. “I am kidding, mom. It is so easy to get to you. Make sure you give him all of the love for me.”“I think you should skip school today and come see him.”“And ruin my perfect record? No, I told you I would do better in school than Leo ever was,” Carmela said as she picked up her
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The minute I stepped foot into that place Michael called home for me and my children, it was the moment I lost all contact with Seth and the world. I never go anywhere without security following me around, monitoring my every movement and the things that I do, and making sure that they work according to my given schedule.Michael has gone insane.“Michael I am tired of all these.” I threw off my shoes and flung them out the window, and wherever they landed, I absolutely had no care for them. “I am tired!”“Then leave!” Michael screamed at my face as he slammed our room door, locking it shut. “I know you want his touch; you are doing all of these because you miss him, don’t you?”“For six months I haven’t seen him; I have adhered to every one of your demands and kept away from him; all I want is for you to sign the divorce papers and free me,” I say, moving away from him."Clearly, you don’t know that I won’t know such things, so act right and come down right now!” Michael yelled, and
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