Natasha
It feels beyond good to be back home, back to my own kitchen, and mostly to my own bed. I had a great time in Chena Hot Springs, I got to check out the breweries as I was hoping, and now I’ve returned from a full week of visiting my parents in Washington, a trip I force myself to make each year. My parents are getting older and while I’m usually losing my sanity by the end of the week, I know I would regret not spending this time with them. I was also lucky enough to be able to get in a few nice hikes while in Washington, including Maple Pass Loop, which was on my hiking bucket list. Nothing can compare to the seclusion I can find in Alaska, though.
While I am always anxious about visiting my parents, it wasn't as bad as I was anticipating and now that it's over, I can concentrate on having the kick ass summer I deserve. I mean it’s not that my parents are bad people. It's the opposite, really. My mom has never really got over the loss of my brother and my dad just spends his days treating her like a baby. He never pushed her to go to therapy, or really to do much of anything after he died. She stays in bed most days, watching television and keeping up with the latest celebrity gossip. She doesn't even cook anymore, which is a shame because she was one hell of a chef back in the day. I love cooking and have most of her recipes, but nothing ever compares to your own mom’s cooking. My dad retired a few years back and he basically dotes around the house, getting her anything she asks for and being the sounding board for her every complaint.
My mom spends a lot of time talking about Marky while I visit, which dad says is good for her healing. I don't mind it anymore, but it used to really bother me. She never wants to talk about the present. Or what’s happening in my life now, even though we get all the recent celebrity updates. I don't even think she fully understands what I do for a living. “Well you won't need that little teaching job when you settle down and have a family,” she said to me last week.
“Mom, I have told you this before, I'm not a teacher. I'm a librarian and it's not a little job. I have a Masters degree in library sciences. I have no plans to get married and I'm too old for kids.”
“Oh hush. Marky told me about you and that boy back in high school. You were both planning to have a whole baseball team of kids if I remember. He even told me about that night you snuck behind the bleachers and kissed that boy, right in the middle of the football game. Not very classy of you, Natasha Lynn.” Marky never was any good at keeping secrets.
My dad tried to comfort me. “Don't mind her, you know she means well. She just has a broken brain. She loves you.” Nice medical terms, dad. But, I know she does love me. She wasn't able to get past the loss of Marky and that is exactly why I will never put myself in that situation ever again. To love someone that deeply is just too risky. I already love my parents and worry about them, I’m guessing more than the normal forty year old. I would never want to add anymore loss to my already loser-y life. I don't want to end up a shell of a person like my mother. It's not a life I can even imagine.
After a shower in my own bathroom, I am refreshed and ready to face the week ahead. I have a summer reading group starting tomorrow at the local library. Summer reading group is one of the two main projects I take on each year. The other is the fall reading festival. Both are fun, but neither have resulted in attendance that justifies the time I spend on them so my district wont support the projects and I have to do them on my own time. Last summer we had four kids total and the fall was little better with six kids attending. I’m not sure what else I could do to increase attendance. I'm already offering free snacks and books. Oh, well, I’m not sure we’ll get many kids tomorrow, but even if we even get one, it's worth the effort I convince myself.
Sleep comes slow, it always does and I remember my mom's words, “Do you remember when you were little, you and Marky were inseparable. You couldn't even sleep without each other. He would army crawl down the hallway, sneaking into your room like we didn't know. I thought about separating you to your own beds a hundred times, but I just couldn't bear to keep you two apart.”
……….
I woke up later than usual. God, I love having summer’s off. I always have time to laze around the house and most importantly I can grab a coffee and breakfast sandwich from my favorite cafe. It's closer to the public library than the school I'm assigned to, so during the school year I don't usually get to treat myself unless it's a holiday or teacher work day (or librarian work day in my case).
My car handles like a queen, as usual, all the way to the cafe. I pull into the parking lot when I feel a sudden jolt forward and hear the sound of crunching metal. “No! No! No! No!” I jump out, praying there's no damage to my sweet baby and that maybe my senses were deceiving me.
“What? Oh my God. Oh my God. Why? No! This can't be happening.” I'm both yelling and rambling now. My arms are flapping up and down and tears are welling in my eyes as I look at my crushed passenger side front fender and door. I'm no car expert, but even I can see there is no way to repair this and it's going to require finding replacement parts, which is not easy for my make and model. It could take months. Not to mention, new paint. My summer plans are crushed, just like the passenger side of my car.
The driver exits his vehicle, scratches his hand down his face, quickly examines the damage and laughs. He literally laughs. “Is this funny to you? What the hell is wrong with you?” This only makes him laugh more. His SUV has barely a scratch and my car is toast. How is this funny? When I realize my loss is his morning comedy, I see red.
“You're an asshole,” I spit, louder than I had intended.
Just then, his passenger exits the car and I notice they're both wearing Alaska Aces jerseys. He has a large build just like the driver, both well over six feet. If it wasn't for the circumstances and that overgrown, mountain man beard, I'd actually think he was attractive. But the driver is still laughing and I haven't calmed down at all. If anything, I'm getting more angered by the minute. “Are you some sort of dumb jocks? Is that why you're laughing? You think that your good looks and giant bodies entitle you to poor choices? That your big muscles make up for bad behavior?”
“You need to shut your mouth lady,” the driver huffs.
“Oh, so you can talk. Well, fuck you,” I backfire.
The passenger steps forward, placing his hand on the driver’s shoulder in a comforting gesture. Why is he comforting him, he’s not even upset. “Oh come on now, miss. You can't talk to him like that. You're old enough to know better. I'm sorry but you owe him an apology. It was just an accident”
“So now you're calling me old? Have you looked in the mirror, Grizzly Adams? Don't you have a pet bear to go feed?” Apparently I haven’t calmed down yet.
“I wasn't calling you old. I am just saying all this yelling isn't getting anywhere.” His voice is low and calming. Looking at his driver, “Cam, go grab your insurance card.”
Crossing my arms in front of my chest, I give Grizzly a glare. “I'm not old and I'm not apologizing to anyone. You know some of us work hard for the things we have, some of us have worked… Oh nevermind.”
Defeated, I lean against my car, rubbing my hands up and down my arms in a self-hug. The driver emerges looking at me apologetically, and holds out his paperwork as if it's some sort of peace offering. .
“Just give it to me.”
I park my dented metal in the space farthest from the door and sit in my car, taking deep breaths and trying to hold back my tears. Not only is my brother gone, but I can't even manage to make a single one of our dreams come true. Let's not even discuss how poorly I handled that entire situation. Since when do I let my anger get the best of me? Even the man’s father thought I was acting like a maniac. But then again, his son was laughing. He was treating me like a teenager, demanding I apologize and then redirecting me like my damn behavior therapist used to do.
‘Not very classy of you, Natasha Lynn’ I can hear my mother say.
“Sorry baby brother,” I whisper as I head toward the library’s front doors. As I'm about to enter, I see an old toyota corolla pull up and the door opens. It’s Sarah. “Hey Sarah. You're just the face I needed to see today.” Not recognizing the car as her parents, “Who dropped you off?”
“Oh that's my sister. She’s just got back from college.” I can't remember ever seeing Sarah’s smile so uninhibited. She usually looks nervous, although I've always contributed that to being a typical sixth grade girl. Those puberty hormones are no joke.
I'm happy to hear she has a sibling. I bet she has a great summer and bonus, we have at least one kid for our summer reading group so I know for sure it won't get canceled. I guess at least one good thing happened today.
Alex This morning has turned into a series of uncomfortable silences. Both on the ride to the cafe after Cameron dropped his pregnancy bomb and while we were sitting eating our sandwiches, and now again on the ride home. That woman’s anger was the topping on the shit-cake that Cameron didn't need today. I mean I can understand why she'd be upset. I'd be upset too if I had a sweet ride like that and it just got smashed. But to yell such obscenities in the middle of the parking lot? She must have a few screws loose. She’s old enough to know accidents happen. Obviously old enough to be able to handle a fender bender with a little more grace than yelling at a kid in his twenties. Though, I deserved what she said to me. I know better than to mention a woman's age. It's not like she looked old. In fact, she looks pretty damn good for whatever age she is. I guess it's true, the better looking they are, the crazier they are. I should have already known that. I was hoping to just sit
NatashaI was able to barely salvage the summer. My car is still in the shop. As I suspected, the passenger side front fender and door both needed to be completely replaced. So the search for parts begins. Once they are found, the whole car will need to be repainted as it could never match up correctly due to both color matching and the thermochromatics. To top it off, the driver who hit me is refusing to pay what the insurance won't cover and unless we come to an agreement soon, the whole mess is going to wind up in small claims court. I'm confident I’d win the case, but the time it takes to do that only puts me more and more behind on actually getting to enjoy my ride and that is what's making me so angry about the whole situation. Needless to say, it's going to be at least next summer until I can enjoy my baby again. I was able to get in some decent hikes and camping and now that school is back in session, it's time to concentrate on the fall reading festival. Summer reading g
Alex As much as this summer has not been what I expected, I can't complain. I was able to get a deck built onto my backyard and even had a couple barbecues with the team and their families over. I went and spent some time in Denali both hiking and rafting, something I've been wanting to try for quite awhile. It was a little trickier getting booked as a single, something I wasn't expecting. Apparently, people usually raft with groups of friends or their significant others. It's not that I don't have friends. I do. I have a few good friends left from when I was a player for the Aces myself but most have families of their own now and are busy raising their kids. Some of them went on to careers-some are sports professionals, some teachers, and even one is an accountant. Most live out of state now and when we travel for games, I always get invited to family dinners and kids birthday parties. Last year, I even attended a piano recital for an ex-teammates first grandchild. As if t
Natasha Kristina and I sit in the middle of her living room with papers sprawled out around us. We have used our time wisely, choosing fall reading books that will hopefully challenge and inspire our young readers. We have a few hours left of planning and then we should be all ready. We are just starting to go over the flyers, trying out some themes that might entice some participants this year. “How about ‘fall into reading’ ‘fall into the books’ ‘don't leaf a book unread’?” Kristina asks. “Those are terrible!” I giggle as I pass her the second bottle of wine that’s already halfway gone and say, “We really should have stayed sober if we wanted to come up with a clever slogan tonight.” “Yeah, I better quit drinking or our slogan’s gonna be ‘fall over drunk’.” “Fall on my drunk ass,” I come back with. Kristina snorts, which makes us both laugh even louder and now I'm holding my stomach as my body rolls back and I roll from side to side, holding my belly. “Stop, stop, I'm gonna
“Now that Adam knows I'm drinking he’s not gonna leaf me alone tonight,” Kristina giggles as we start to gather our papers. “And what about coach? It seems like you two had a moment there.” “Ha! A moment of embarrassment,” I deadpan. I can try to set you guys up on a date if you want “Didn't you hear him? He was livid when he thought Adam had set him up to even meet me. Plus, he was with the guy when my car got hit and he’s seen all my crazy. Trust me, men run from the shit I was throwing out that day. I even called him Grizzly Adams.” I bust out a laugh. “I was wondering where that comment came from,” Kristina chuckles. “They grow their hair and beard during the playoffs. Some sort of superstition I guess.” Alex Adam and I wrap up watching the tapes as I try to stay focused on hockey plays instead of the more than hot red head in the next room. She’s is gonna be the end of me. Kneeling in front of me like that I could feel my dick stir to life. Stir to a life it used to
Natasha The car ride was uneventful. After I gave him my address and he entered it into the GPS, it was pretty quiet the entire ride except for asking about the reading festival. His jaw was clenched and I noticed he’s flexing his huge thighs, alternating between the left and the right. Hmm, maybe it's something he does when he is annoyed. “I wanted to apologize for freaking out when my car was hit,” I blurt as I notice we’re getting closer to my street. “Don't worry another moment on it.” Quiet again. Okay, this is getting a little awkward. I probably should have just taken an uber I think while I find myself staring at his profile. He really is a nice looking man. I wonder why he isn't married. Maybe he is but doesnt wear a ring? Maybe he has a girlfriend? Maybe that's why he’s acting so professional? That's it. He has a girlfriend. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. Of course he's taken. He's not going on and on about his health issues, so that alone makes him a catch
Alex When I woke up this morning, I decided I would casually show up to the reading festival to see how the boys are representing the team. I heard some of them complaining about ‘getting up so early on a Saturday’. You would have thought I had asked them to be there at five o’clock the way they were acting. What’s with the kids these days? When I was playing, I was always on the ice no later than six o’clock, every damn morning. Yet, when I ask them to help with a charity reading event for kids they act like missing a few hours of beauty sleep will ruin their whole weekend. Yes, I needed to go check, just to make sure they were being professional and helping enough. Yeah sure that's why. Definitely not because I want to see Natasha. That woman is cray-cray, as the kids say. Although driving her home the other night wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. She was even nice, not to mention, modest. I noticed how she wrapped her coat around her when she noticed I was staring
“Who would have thought a bunch of jocks could get my festival out of the shitter,” Natasha beams as we walk into the not-so-crowded bar. I'm not sure whether or not to be offended by her jock comment, but I do plan to find out where her dumb jock stereotype comes from. She looks gorgeous in black jeans and a tight tee-shirt that reads, “The Library: Where Shhh Happens.” Her hair is down and it flows smooth along her shoulders. We grab a table near the dart boards. I purposely chose this bar. While meeting for drinks and ‘greasy food’ was Natasha’s idea, I chose the actual meeting place. It’s my favorite spot for relaxing drinks because not only does it have a small town feel, they also have a big screen television that frequently runs games-mostly hockey. Even with the television playing a game, it's still quiet enough to be able to talk and hear your tablemates. The beer is always on point, with several local brews to choose from. “What do you like to drink? Besides wine?”