The bars downtown had become my friend, I wasn’t much of a drinker- oh no! I was here for something else, something much better than alcohol, that would be sex.
I thought it, felt it, needed it, craved it like a drug so I overdosed every time, the next time deeper than the last, the void just kept getting bigger, the more sex I had, the emptier I felt. I couldn’t help it, it was the only thing that didn’t change.
The loud music irritated my eardrums but the view was kind, women in all shapes and sizes lurked around, I could feel some eyes on me, I knocked my drink back trying hard to keep my facial muscles in check.
“That bad?” I blinked twice to clear my vision, focusing solely o
The months had passed quickly, six months since i started hanging out with jen. I wasn't as violent as i was before except when we were in bed, yes i know what it looked like but life got simpler with Jen around.I was happier, i wasn't in love but i liked her a lot, school was the same as ever, i didnt care how it went anymore, we were all gong to graduate it didnt matter when.I had started going to church again since we were still dishing out good news, it was... very trying. I felt cornered everyday but jen makes it get clearer.She was right on one thing, i did abandon God but i still didn't feel quite at home like i used to, i couldnt change who i was, picking a part of my religion that favoured my sexuality was hypocritical and not right yet here i was still handling it.Jen said i could do it so i believed i could, i knew i could get my footing again.Finals were coming up, the
Asher, Raymond and I were at Club 99 drinking our lives away, our finals were finally over. Asher stuck to sparkling water which was odd but i was too tipsy to care, Raymond was drunkenly asking Asher to be his girlfriend which was comical."You guys know we need to be at Cherry's event tomorrow right?" Asher raised her brows."Who cares about that bitch?" Raymond slammed his hand on the bar top earning a glare from the bartender."Definitely not me" I slurred"Well is Jen coming? i mean you guys have been moving strong""I don't know, damn i forgot to ask her" I willed my hands to find my phone and not yank the nearest whiskey from the counter. I dailed her number but it went straight to voice mail, five tries later i left a drunken sweet message."Well did you get her?" Asher asked as she tried to stop Raymond from climbing over the bar."Nahhhh i guess she'
"Do you regret last night?" Asher stroked my thighs cradling me in her arms while Raymond snored half way in and half way out of the bed."No i dont, was i supposed to?""No but I-" Asher immediately started coughing rousing Raymond from his sleep when the cough refused to subside."Geez you didnt tell me you had a cold" i huffed patting her back with a slight frown on my face."Its not a cold love, something just lodged itslef in my throat" she wheezed still coughing."Well tell the thing not to wake us all up from sleep" Raymond yelped when i kicked him off the bed. "Yeah destroy the man who made you feel like goddesses last night ok?" i threw a pillow at his stupid face. idiot."You ok now? you've been acting really weird lately, are you fine?" my face didn't show my worry but my voice carried it."Yes i'm fine love i promise it was just
The memorial had been short and sweet, i got to meet Asher's sister Ashlynn and her two brother Jack and Ryan. We all shared our grief through hugs and tears- there was a little bonding time tied into the end of the ceremony.Ashlynn's daughter looked so much like Asher it took almost everything for me not to walk away from the group, it hurt too much to even look at her.Raymond and i saw little of each other as the days passed, he was by the makeshift bar drinking some mixed up alcohol, he was taking shot for shot like a pro but i knew we just had different ways of absorbing and arranging our feelings.I grazed Asher's headstone with my fingertips instantly disliking the coolness, i wondered if Asher was cold and needed a blanket, i drove myself mad with scenerios, maybe she wasn't dead and was trying to claw her way up to the surface- back into our arms.Our? if there was even an us i think the secon
HelloHi there, well uhhh this is kinda like my first real storyIt's a real life reference and the journey might be a little rough, bear with me.I will update the story every two days depends on your zones but I'll keep the story updated and your comments will help me in checking or noticing the little things.There will be mature scenes so if you aren't comfortable with it then I'd advice you to skip them when you get to them. I will make sure to notify you of every scene so you know when to skip.There will some same sex scenes but mostly girls, if you aren't comfortable as well, I'd advise you to skip those too, I'll put double notifications so you know.
My eyes were glued on the already fallen part of my ceiling that looked like the map of some country–it definitely needed a new coat of paint. I turned to my side and my eyes fell on my wardrobe–I needed a new dresser as well, maybe a couple of shoes and a new door. Perhaps a bulletproof shower room.I continued to make up silly scenarios in my head, while I waited for my parents to get home. It was Saturday and they still had to go to work. By they, I meant my mother. All dad did was drink his pension away and pretend we were a happy family.I shook my head to dispel unnecessary thoughts, today was a good day people! I mean, I got out of high school last month and was going to check my mail today, my admission letter had arrived and we were going to do some family dinner to celebrate or.... not, either way I was scared shitless.I wasn't a smart kid, my grades were average–I didn't want them to get better than that, call me c
Remember when I said this year was going to be great? I take that back, in fact I take it all back. It had been three days since we read the letter and my mom kept prancing around the house like I was about to get married.I haven't had any decent sleep these past few days, even my dad had enough sense to get in and out of her way faster than flash–I wasn't that lucky. I mean, I was the one with the halo till she stole it...pfft!We were in my room and I'd never hated this little space like I did today. She was invading every personal fudging space I had. She packed this and threw that, hung this and tore that, screamed at this and gushed at that. Jesus, take me now, I really wasn't cut out to be a woman."Hey, honey. I'm going to get some more gowns for you," my mom said, while I groaned into my pillow."Mom, I hate dresses. Just get pant suits or something, besides its college and I'm not go
I stood in front of the house as my dad filled the car with my things and my mom kept shifting her weight from one foot to the other, her chaplet hung loosely around her neck. I had one, but it was in the pocket of my jeans.My mom was a core catholic–born, bred, married and infused. Her beliefs were strong and so were mine–I believed in God. I mean who didn't? I held my beliefs and dignity to heart, always wanting mother's approval above all else. It was just something I was taught and I took great pleasure in having it.My mother would say the present generation wasn't half bad, but it was like God didn't exist anymore–No one took their time to say a prayer or even thank him for the day, it was all about gadgets and parties. I wasn't the type to force my beliefs on people, but I tried to do some right and say some right. The world needed a little light sometimes.Snapping out of my trance, my dad didnt waste his time with goodbyes