Why did André call Alexander? Okay, I know why. With Alexander’s gift, there is a high chance he would be able to repair the placenta issue that caused the bleeding and put Baby D in danger. And I wouldn’t dare try to put my comfort over the health and safety of these babies. It’s just, why did it have to be Alexander? It would have been easier on me if he’d asked Alec to recall Damon.
It’s been over two years since I’ve seen him. I thought I’d changed. I thought that I’d overcome this crush. Yet the butterflies were back when André called him. And I know these aren’t the butterfly feelings I get when the babies move. Nope, this feeling is reserved only for Alexander Petridis. I both love and hate it.
How can he still have such power over me? I may have taken the suggestions of my Bloodmoon friends and gotten Alexander out of my system by dating. It isn’t like there was a lack of cute males between Bloodmoon and Silverclaw. However, many were apprehensive about flirting with me. I can’t exactly blame them. They knew my sisters and were justifiably terrified. Then I had Scott hanging around, scaring all the boys off.
Not that any of it mattered. I didn’t want to flirt with any boys. I didn’t want their attention like that. I only wanted to make friends, nothing more. As much as I tried to forget Alexander and everything I ever felt for him after Lia announced her pregnancy, I couldn’t. With how I’ve been on edge since André said Alexander was coming home, it proves any progress I thought I made to get over him was a lie.
After I was released from the hospital, André and Darren took me back to the guest house at their villa. I was engulfed in my eldest sister’s warm, motherly embrace as I opened my door. I sighed. Of course, she’s here. I don’t know if it was André or Darren that told them I was at the hospital. Or maybe Crista knew because we are sisters, and our family bond gave her that insight. Either way, I must admit that having her here was comforting.
“Are you okay? What did the doctor have to say?” Crista questioned.
“I’m fine, Crista. Your grandbabies are fine too.” I assured her.
“There isn’t anything they can do to secure the placenta, so I’m on bed rest and have to take some medicine to help their lung and brain development in case it gets worse, and they are born earlier than planned,” I explained.
“We’re going to take excellent care of her, matrigna.” André chimed in. “I already called for Alexander. He should be boarding the jet now to come home. Traditional medicine may not be able to do much, but there is little that the Petridis healing cannot do.”
“Alexander? We could have called Damon if you’d told us. Or what about Regina?” Crista asked.
“Zio Damon is not at my beck and call, matrigna. And Regina’s power requires turning the targeted area to stone. Not having her stone my babies let alone while they are in Zia Delilah’s womb.” He shook his head.
“Yes, but…” Crista frowned as she looked at me.
She knows I’ve spent the last couple of years avoiding Alexander. And while part of her feels I’ve been childish to ignore him completely, she also is my sister and wouldn’t want to make me uncomfortable. She and Persephone are in a similar mindset that I should forget my crush on Alexander.
“We know what you want to say, Crista.” Darren rolled his eyes.
“It’s time for everyone to grow up.” He said.
“I don’t want to be offensive, Delilah.” Darren sighed.
“I know you had a thing for him, and what happened at Regina’s birthday party was a big deal to you. But it’s been years, and you know how badly that ended for Alexander. And right now, the health and safety of our heirs and you, might I add, outweighs your discomfort of facing him.” He shrugged.
“I know.” I sighed. “And you’re right, Darren. It’s been over two years. I’ve grown a lot since then, and I don’t just mean out.” I chuckled, rubbing my hand over my bump.
“The safety of the babies is more important than how awkward it’s going to be to see him again.” I conceded. “I want to ensure all four of these babies are healthy and born exactly when they are developmentally ready.”
“Fine.” Crista sighed. “But if Alexander says or does something….”
“I know, you’re a call away. But I’ll be okay, I promise. I can handle it. I can handle Alexander. If something upsets me, I can easily make him leave. Helia will be more than happy to give him the same treatment Valter got at the ball.” I assured her.
“Fair.” Crista nodded.
“Excellent. And since you are here, matrigna. Would you mind helping Delilah in the bathroom and then putting her to bed? Darren and I have work we need to handle, and while I’m super gay, it would be super weird to help her in the shower.” André suggested.
“I can shower on my own, thank you very much.” I scoffed.
“I’ll stick around while she showers, just in case,” Crista assured them.
“Perfecto.” André grinned.
“Bye, Zia Delilah.” He smiled and kissed my cheek before kissing my belly four times. “Bye, my babies. Be nice to Zia Delilah.”
Darren rolled his eyes, hugged me, then touched my belly. He’s not as invasive about getting into my space. “Take care of yourself. Remember to rest. Alexander will be here tonight, and we’ll see what can be done so you don’t spend the rest of the pregnancy on bed rest.”
“I will. Thank you, both.” I waved them out the door.
“Okay, they are gone. Now how do you feel about this?” Crista asked as she followed me to the bathroom.
“I don’t know,” I admitted.
“When André called him, I had butterflies in my stomach. I haven’t felt them since Lia crashed Regina’s party.” I frowned.
“So, you aren’t actually over him.” Crista sighed as she jumped onto the vanity.
“I guess I’m not. I suppose it was just an out of sight out of, mind deal. I can’t help how I feel. And I feel like a terrible person who needs his gift to face him.” I sighed as I turned on the shower and waited to reach the desired temperature.
“Well, you can’t change the past, Delilah. You did what you felt was best for your heart.” Crista shrugged. “It was one thing when he had casual lovers, but Lia announcing she was pregnant was like an atomic bomb.”
“I know, but what was my excuse for not getting in touch later? For not at least keeping in contact from a distance? We’d built a friendship since the war, and I just walked away when he probably needed friends the most.” I frowned.
“I know, Delilah. But again, you can’t change the past.” Crista shrugged.
“All you can do is apologize for the past and ask if you can move forward amicably. It doesn’t mean you need to be good friends again. You can have a civil and polite doctor/patient relationship during the remaining months of your pregnancy.” She suggested, of course, looking for the middle ground like the Luna she is.
“You’re right. I’m just worried about how Alexander is going to react. I don’t think anyone’s told him I’m the surrogate. I’m sure it’ll be jarring to see me like this.” I gestured to my body after I pulled my dress off.
“Well, he’s not going to see you naked, or at least not completely naked.” Crista teased.
“Not my point.” I rolled my eyes. “You must admit it will be a shock. He hadn’t seen me since I got my wolf, and now he’s back to be my obstetrician.”
“He’ll have to get over it, amongst other things.” Crista shrugged, muttering the last part as I stepped into the shower.
“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” I called over the water.
“Of course, and if it’s not, we’ll handle it,” Crista promised.
She hung out for another hour after my shower till she had to go home. A Luna’s job is never done, even less so that of being a Mama. I can’t expect her to always drop everything to be here for me. She has a pack and two precious daughters that need her.
I tried to kill time, unsure when Alexander would arrive and if he’d even be coming straight here. I played classical music for the babies while doing online classes to pass the time. It helped keep my mind off the pending reunion.
I don’t know when I fell asleep, but the rest was good. I needed it. And thankfully, when I woke up, I could feel all four babies. I smiled and rubbed my bump as I went to the kitchen to see what sounded good. As I opened the refrigerator, I froze. Helia was on high alert. I don’t know what compelled me, but I walked away, leaving the fridge open as I opened the front door to the guest house.
As the door opened, my senses were overloaded with earthy patchouli, powdery sandalwood, spicy cinnamon, vetiver, cedarwood, and amber scent. It made me think of frayed scrolls, ancient tomes, and vials filled with potions in a dimly lit laboratory. It was everything, and my heart skipped as Helia said the one word I didn’t expect.
‘Mate!’
I gasped as I locked eyes with Alexander. How can he look so good while simultaneously looking like he hasn’t slept well in days, weeks, or months? I can tell he’s gone through a lot, and I don’t think it’s just having been away from his pack for months. There’s something different in his eyes that I can’t place. A pain that I want to soothe.
Before I could even get a syllable out in greeting, Alexander did the one thing I didn’t expect, or at least hoped wouldn’t happen when we met again. He walked away. I stood in shock as my heart started to break again, watching his retreating back. Helia howled in my head.
‘Go after him!’ She insisted.
I sniffled and wiped away my tears with the back of my hands. I shook my head and slammed the door shut.
‘No.’ I insisted as I forced my feet to move.
‘What are you talking about? That’s our mate. We need to go after him.’ Helia questioned as I went back to the fridge.
‘I am on doctor-ordered bed rest. For the safety of André and Darren’s heirs, I will not chase after anyone, even my mate.’ I held my ground as I pulled out some leftovers and threw them in the microwave.
‘But…’ Helia whined.
‘You know I’m right. I need to keep up my strength for the babies. That means eating, following Doctor Damiani’s orders, and returning to bed.’ I sighed, glancing at the door.
I forced back tears as the microwave beeped, and I took out the plate of linguine. I can’t let my emotions get the better of me. I need to keep calm. If I get too upset, it will harm the babies. And as important as finding my mate is, they are more important now.
Alexander can be the one that comes to me. With my mind made up, I took my plate and went to my bedroom to eat in bed and wait to see if he’d show his face again.
‘Get it the FUCK together, Alexander!’ Lucius growled. ‘Don’t you think I would if it were that easy?’ I growled back as I held the side of the garage for support. I know he’s pissed at me. I’m pissed at myself. But this isn’t something I have control over. It’s not like I wanted to have this reaction to Delilah, let alone to her being my mate. Why didn’t anyone tell me she was the surrogate? It would have been nice to have some warning before finding her like this. Pregnant with my cousin’s babies. I choked back the vomit as I tried to control my reaction. Seriously, why do the actions of that damn bitch still mess with me? Wasn’t it bad enough that I haven’t been able to touch a woman since I lost all trust in their gender? Now the ripple effect of what she did has me throwing up after meeting my mate. I don’t think anything in my past made me deserve this. I closed my eyes and let myself slide down the garage wall to sit on the ground. I groaned as I pulled my legs up and pl
What is this strange feeling? It feels familiar but foreign, like lounging in a field of flowers on a sunny day. I feel so safe and warm. That’s why it feels familiar. This feels like every time Alexander held me or at the least hugged me. But there’s something else that makes it feel foreign. This electricity makes every cell in my body buzz in response. And nothing responded quite as much as my nipples and vagina. ‘Mmmm… mate.’ Helia practically purred. That was enough to make my eyes fly open. All the feelings of exhaustion and heartbreak from when I went to bed were gone. I felt energized, hopeful, and, I’m embarrassed to admit it, horny. I’m not unfamiliar with that last feeling, especially when associated with Alexander. I won’t ever admit it aloud, but he was the first man I fantasized about. So opening my eyes to see Alexander sitting on the edge of my bed with his hand under my dress felt like a scene from one of those fantasies. Maybe I am dreaming. That would be my luck.
I usually don’t mind when I’m wrong, and Lucius is right. But I hated that he was right about having to touch Delilah to heal her. Mostly I hated that he was right about how it would affect me. I don’t know why I thought I could fool myself. I’m not above the mate bond and its magnetic pull. Even if she weren’t my mate, I’d still have rushed to help her. It doesn’t matter that she cut me out of her life. It doesn’t matter how bad she hurt me. There was no way I could stand by and do nothing to protect her or keep her safe. And that included having to touch her to heal her. I thought I was prepared for what would happen when I touched her. I thought it would be minor as I was only checking her pulse on her wrist. I’ve touched her wrist and her hand in the past. It shouldn’t have been a big deal. Yeah, I was wrong. No amount of being told about the mate bond can prepare anyone for the intense feeling when you touch your mate, especially for the first time. I had to close my eyes and b
A part of me felt like I deserved this. I deserved Alexander to treat me as just another patient. I am the one that went no contact. I’m the one that ended our friendship. So why should I expect his feelings to change suddenly? The mate bond can do much but can’t erase the past. He was hurt by my pulling away from our friendship. He wouldn’t be acting like this if he wasn’t unless he’s like this because I’m a surrogate for André and Darren. And if that’s the case, well, too bad. André is his cousin, maybe not by blood, but still. They are family, and more than that, André is his Alpha. He should be supportive of anyone offering to carry the heirs for Madonie. Then a part of me says Alexander can go to hell. I don’t deserve to be treated so coldly. He knew why I stopped talking to him. I couldn’t stand around while Liar played him like a fiddle. I couldn’t stand by and watch the train wreck. Plus, she was pretty clear that night I needed to stay away and went so far as to point out th
The run from André’s villa to the pack hospital didn’t help clear my mind. It felt good to be home, however. Spending nine months away had been hard. There’s a reason that rogues tend to be more aggressive and unstable. They have no connection to a pack and a territory. They can’t ever feel ‘home.’ It’s similar, but to a lesser extent, when a wolf spends extended periods away from their pack and territory. It explained why the three of us had grown increasingly agitated the longer we were gone. I’m amazed Papa hadn’t cracked being so far from Incubi and Mama. Then again, maybe that’s why he’d been the more level-headed of us. He may have been far from her, but the bond remained. Meanwhile, Zoe and I didn’t have that. I feel bad for the packs they still had to visit, mostly Ironfur, as it was next after Silvermane left a bad impression on all of us. I can only hope the males of Ironfur aren’t sexist Neanderthals that try to talk down to her. If they are well, I hope Alpha Finn is cool
I wasn’t sure how I would get through this with Alexander acting this way. How am I supposed to handle him touching me, but only in a professional manner? How is he able to separate the feelings of the bond like that? I’m struggling to separate the effects of the bond from my feelings. I admit there is still part of me that cares very much for him, not a result of the bond. There is still hurt in my heart from how he’s been acting. ‘You love him, and you know it.’ Helia commented. ‘That’s why this is so hard for you. And we don’t know why Alexander is acting like this. We can find out more when we talk to him alone.’ She assured me. I’m not sure how much of a silver lining that is. Goddess knows when or if I’ll get to speak with him alone. After I’ve been medically clear, there isn’t any guarantee he won’t try to run off and avoid me. I’ll have to show him I’m not the same old Delilah that will let him sit me on the sidelines of his life. I’m a strong independent woman who can and w
Lucius had crossed a line. He had no right to use the word ‘love’ like that. Least of all, using it when trying to speak for me. I don’t even know how I feel about Delilah. Yes, of course, I care about her. I cared about her even before all this. I’ve cared about her since the war. But that doesn’t mean I love her. And I am not going to let the mate bond dictate my feelings. If I learned anything from my parents, it’s that love should be earned. Love should be cultivated. Love isn’t a light switch that you flick and suddenly feel. Love is a seed in your heart that needs to be nurtured to grow and, if possible, blossom. I don’t want a love that is only there because of a mythical bond. I want a love that I feel on my own. I may have sunk into the darkness of my panic attack to the point that Lucius was able to take control, but I heard him say we love her. And that was enough to get me to fight the rip tide that was trying to pull me under. It took me longer than I wanted to break fr
Today has been my life’s most stressful and emotional, well maybe top three. I don’t think being in this situation with Alexander could top witnessing my parents’ murder. Nothing could ever be more stressful and emotional than that day. And I don’t think hashing out our issues like this would truly unseat being drugged and kidnapped by Doctor Silvano. ‘Though that day ended well enough. The war ended, Alexander saved you, and you got to cuddle with him in your hospital bed. Maybe if we play our cards right, we can get him to cuddle again.’ Helia commented. ‘That sounds unlikely. Remember how he looked like he was going to kiss me? Then he felt my baby bump and immediately disengaged. He doesn’t like that I’m pregnant and probably won’t touch me while I am, if ever.’ I frowned as that thought hit me. I don’t know the details or full extent of what the aftermath of Liar and her failed baby trap did to Alexander. Being pregnant triggers him. But I can’t help that. I can’t just stop bei