My fever breaks as the last sweat trickles down my brow. Bubbles form around my pours like crystallized beads. My palms drip with the remaining sweat from my skin.
I twist the cap off my water bottle. It's hard to grab the top of the bottle when my hands are wet from my fever breaking. My mother rips the bottle from my hands and opens it. The water hits my mouth, tongue, and throat. Its refreshing coolness heals the rest of me.
Mom and I don't speak to one another. I'm still embarrassed by her despite my fleeting illness. I have every right to be mad at her. She took my senior year away from me. The KAT trio will tear me to shreds when I return.
"Why did you block me from your social media? I didn't do anything wrong, did I?"
Mom doesn't understand that her actions have caused a backslide in every social event, school function, and senior event from here until graduation day. It's not an exaggeration. It's a fact.
The vultures won't let me live it down. The loser senior with braces has a reputation for taking pictures with the bus driver. I didn't care what they all thought, but now I can think of nothing else.
Did Jeremy Davis mean what he said to me back on our first day by the tree? If I changed my clothes and dressed another way, could I be pretty? Could I be admired and make friends if I stopped being quirky?
Does society expect us to stuff ourselves so far down that we will never come up for a breath of air? Is showing our true colors really so dangerous?
I am scared to face Jeremy. He was so friendly that first day. But, going to school and tutoring the boy with scars on his arms for a semester will take all the patience in the world.
Did he really burn down the Vineyard Church on Second Street? In 5th grade, we had our musical on the stage. Three years after that, I graduated the 8th grade on the platform of that church.
Our town is small, and we are a tight group. Sooner or later, the truth of Jeremy's pyro-maniac behavior will catch up with him. There are only so many suspects to go around in a small town like ours. We might have a large high school with a vast student body, but that's only because everyone in this town goes to the one school provided for miles.
I sometimes feel like a genie in a bottle. But, like a genie is trapped by the space of his bottle, so am I trapped in the hallways of Ashmore Highschool. Only time itself can rub the lamp, set us free, and send us out into the world.
But Jeremy Davis, the boy who was friendly to me for a day, has more coming to him than he knows. He doesn't know it yet. But as my peer student, I am going to make him work. Work until his grades improve and help him graduate. I hate his guts for how English class turned out the other day.
But a boy with severe scratches and bruises up his sleeves has something to hide. I still find it rather odd that I have never met him before. Fate brought us together in Brit Lit to duel it out with words and pen.
I'm a fan of stories and how they transport us to another world with the passport of imagination. The words are the journey that takes me away often from my reality. But, unfortunately, the reality is anything but easy. I get bullied by the KAT trio or ridiculed online when I let reality happen.
Our parents had it easier, and their parents before them. Now bullying is done online with video uploads, secret identities, and hidden usernames. My grandpa got pushed into a locker by a bully once. But it was never uploaded on YouTube for his future grandchildren to watch and stare at.
The internet is eternal. The lies of the inter-web are dark and hold our most hidden secrets. At a moment's notice, any asshole anywhere can find my deleted I*******m video. It might say the video is no more. But we all know the truth, that data lives forever. The world of code is ever-flowing in the spaces that I didn't even know were there.
If I were to predict the future, my gut feeling would tell me that by February, the KAT trio will somehow find my bus driver photo and repost it everywhere. It's what they do. It's who they are. They destroy lives for the sake of popularity, comments, and sex.
I'm good to wait on fame, fortune, and sex. Those things all sound dangerous to me. Whenever I read about celebrities, their lives are hectic, and people bully them daily. We are unaware of the harm it does to them because we don't know them. I've never met Miley Cyrus, and yet we gossip about her personal life.
Why is bullying celebrities considered normal? And bullying John Doe considered harassment and or a crime? Everyone, everyone should be free from bullies.
What about you, Jeremy Davis? Are there people in your life who bully you? Is that why you cut yourself? Did you write the note? And if so, do you really have it in your soul to die? Would you want to kill yourself?
Have you thought about what that would do to your family? Your friends at school? Do you have a friend Jeremy? Do you need one?
I know tutoring the detention reject will take a lot out of me. He is the Geoffrey Chaucer of Ashmore high, forever watching everyone. But sometimes, I wonder who is watching him?
Returning to Ashmore high school after a day of being sick is not fun. I miss two days of school, and the amount of homework I have is the equivalent of filling out two or three college applications.I miss summer. I want to read my favorite novels beside the pool. Sure, summer is boring, and I usually long for it to be over with. But after the strange, terrible start to this school year, I am ready to graduate and be on my way."Lily, welcome back. It's not like you to be sick. Are you feeling better?" Mr. Cronkwright says.I hold my textbooks on my desk. The lead in my pencil is missing. My pencil case has Harry Potter glasses stitched in a pattern on its exterior. It's proof that I am a proud nerd."Yes. I am a lot better. I will t
Blood continues to drip down his sleeves. Do I pretend I never saw it? Do I say something?"You've been hurt. Let me get a few band-aids from my bag. Then, you can help yourself."I hand Jeremy the band-aids. I pull out my book and begin reading. It's none of my business unless he makes it my business. Jeremy doesn't strike me as the sort to cry out for help. Even if he did want my help, would I be able to give it to him?"Do you want to go to the zoo with me," Jeremy asks?"The zoo? Are you serious? What does that have to do with anything?""You seem like you need some fun. And I work there.""You want me to come and watch you work
Senior year is looking up, and I finally have a friend. So, I guessSir Gawain and the Green Knight won't have to battle it out to the death after all. Instead, perhaps they will sign a treaty and form an alliance.Our time at the zoo ends, and I have made it through the first inner wall of Jeremy Davis. After that, he will be a maze to walk through. There will be obstacles in my way and hoops to jump through. I only hope that Jeremy is a kind soul with an entire life ahead of him."Would you like to help me at the zoo next week?" Jeremy asks sheepishly, like asking his new friend to hang out is a crime."Sure. Sounds great. But in return, you will need to study hard and work when I tell you to. That tutoring program is about graduating, and I am going to get you there."
What is kissing but falling in love with lips? I've never been kissed before. I never knew if I would like it or hate it. So, if kissing Jeremy back means anything, in the least, it means I liked it. Maybe even a little."Are you having fun yet?" Jeremy asks."It was alright. It's just lip-smacking, at best.""It's no secret that you've never been kissed before, Lily Green."As usual, Mr. Chaucer has caught me in an observation. How long has he been watching me, like a guardian angel perched on my shoulder?"How would you know? Maybe kissing boys is a side business of mine."Sarcasm was never my best suit. Sure, I can do it, but it
The trees blow around in the night. The black night is upon us, and the whispers of the stars hide our secrets.I've spent the whole day with Jeremy. I don't know his back story despite hanging out, and he doesn't know mine. His life is his own."Do you like libraries," Jeremy asks?I already know Jeremy knows I love books. But, escaping into a world beyond our own is the best feeling in the world. Leaving my life behind to follow characters on their journey is the only way I know how to breathe."I love reading. I'm a bit of a romance novel fan and an avid comic book reader."Jeremy goes into his bag and pulls out oldBatmancomics. He hands them to me.
By the third period, my stomach aches. I convince Mr. Cronkwright to send me to the nurse. I lie down for the fourth period. The nurse decides to send me home. Bullying is a thing I always shrugged off. It's something my parents don't know about. I have always kept it to myself.I used to get stomach ulcers in elementary school and middle school. I got used to the acid. Vomit destroyed my throat. The doctors couldn't pinpoint the issue to bullying. I told them my life at school was fine. They blamed it on stress and my attitude to achieve high marks in all my subjects.My parents sent me to therapy. It didn't help. So, I didn't open up. That's the way it is. If you talk about bullying, something terrible might happen or worse.Having things get worse is the last place I want to be. But now we are in the age of Instagram, and bullying is eternal in the dark places of the net. I am sure if one dug deep enough, my middle school humiliation photos are everywhere.
Bullying feels like a dance between two people. The dance-off is between the bully and the victim. It's hard to see the other people around us if we are bullied.When Kelly taunts me, her gang of defenders encourages the fight. Alexa and Tia would be nothing without Kelly. What would Kelly be like without them? I sometimes wonder what would happen if it really were just Kelly and I, alone one on one. The world would turn in my favor and shift towards my needs.That would sure be the day. But it is not today. Not today by any means.My parents don't know about Jeremy. They don't know that I've kissed a boy. If mom knew it would be in the family scrapbook by now, among my other milestones. Or on some embarrassing Instagram post.My mind thinks back to Jeremy and the simple kiss we shared. Did it mean anything to him? To me? I am not sure what we are, but it's a good feeling for now.His story haunts me. How can a mother become violent and snap at the
I spend the day worrying about Jeremy. I check my phone every class to make sure all social media platforms are clear of his church burning news.The fly on the wall is watching me with his millions of eyes. Those eyes follow me everywhere. If one hair is out of place, Kelly will either post our first kiss video, or she will let the school know Jeremy is a pyromaniac. Either way, she wins. She's on top, like the Bitch Queen of the Nile."What have you decided, Train Tracks? It's embarrassing either way. Either let me have my fun after school, or you and Jeremy can be an embarrassing couple of Instagram, or he can just go to prison now. The choice is yours, really."Kelly taps her foot and crosses her arms. Her lips smack with the sound of her chewing gum. She tilts her neck and smirks her lips. She's fierce."I'll see you after school," I reply, not knowing what else to do or say. Saying anything to stop her is pointless. If I were a witch, I'd cast a spe