I hold her on my lap; her eyes stay focused on mine, and I can't turn my eyes away from hers. They drag me in, and I drown within them. Who the fuck is this woman?She chases me down, hunting me almost when I want to hide. When I want to hide the shame and the problems and force myself to not feel, she is right there, hunting me so I can't.No one else ever put this much effort in to make me be me, even if just for a moment. I've lived most of my life knowing I shouldn't feel or show emotion. Doing it all the time makes it hard to break out of the habit.I should have reacted more when Lorenzo was shot, but it was far easier to hide it all.But fuck. She just tore me open, stepped inside me like I was her favourite outfit, touched every part of me and instantly knew my secrets, my weaknesses, and what I wanted. For so long, I wanted someone who would let me stain them with my evil, with the darkness that consumes me.And fuck does she do it. She takes it like it is nothing. She craves

Walking in, I find the table and sit. A woman walks over and smiles at me."Would you like your usual Mr Pesci?""Yes, please." I watch as she walks off. A moment later, she returned with a glass."Would you like a dancer, Mr Pesci?""I'm good, thank you." She doesn't reply; she just turns and walks away. The booth is filled with the music from outside. A few minutes later, the curtain moves, and he walks in."Marco. Nice to see you again." Sighing, I look at Arlo."What is the point of this meeting, Arlo?" Picking up a cigar, I light it, using it as a distraction."Just because the wedding is off, Marco, that does not mean I don't still want to work with you." A woman walks in and glances between us as he stops talking."Can I get you a drink, sir?" She looks at him."Rum, please." He winks."Can I get you a refill, Mr Pesci?""Please." I smile at her."Dancer, Sir?" She looks at Arlo, I shake my head, and he nods."Your finest, please, two if you have spare." She walks off."Arlo, w

I stand, ready for today. Yet my mind is focused on his words. Do I want kids, and if so, do I want them now? I get it. Sicilians are very big on family. I actually still don't know if everyone lives here. I assume Matteo, Iz, and the kids don't, as I hardly hear them.Does Felicity, Lorenzo and the others?"Who else lives here?" I glance up at Marco as he walks towards me."Us, my father, Dario, Lorenzo, Felicity and the workers who are here more often. While Felicity still lives here, she stays a lot with Jacob."As I thought, I know little about Sicilians, I know they are big on family, and many of the kids stay at home until they marry."What are you thinking?" He glances at me."Just, I don't know much about this, about your family, Sicily, all that." I don't, and it feels wrong not to know something I am part of."Your father was Sicilian. We can discuss it more. You can ask Iz or Felicity." He pulls me to stand up. "I'm glad you opted to wear underwear today." I smile at his wo

Yesterday was a disaster. I woke up early, alone in bed, after sleeping the rest of the day away. After showering, I walk through and look at the clothes. Standing, I debate what to wear. I have the stuff to wear tonight. Looking through the regular clothes, I debate between jeans and a dress."You're awake." Turning, I look at Marco. "I let you sleep rather than waking you to eat. So, today, please eat." He walks to me, his arms wrap around my body."I won't even argue with that." I won't, as I barely ate yesterday. I've been avoiding eating for a while, which isn't healthy."We have plans today. I ensured I wouldn't be busy. We will talk today. I need to visit Lorenzo at the gym so you can accompany me." He kisses my neck, and I watch as he removes his tie.Biting my lip, I watch as he steps back and begins to strip."No suit today?" My eyes focus on him as he removes more of his clothes."I sorted most business out already. At the gym, I will be helping Lorenzo, so a suit isn't bes

The engagement has been going well. I met Arlo and politely accepted his request to dance. I had expected him to say something, but he was polite and never once spoke in a worrying way.Afterwards, I was guided around the room by Marco. People congratulated us. I lost count of the number of times people kissed my cheeks. Marco whispered quietly that it was their traditional greeting. After I knew that, I didn't feel so awkward when it happened.Some people brought up business, the Cosa Nostra, and I stood dumbfounded. Marco was quick to say that for now, anything like that still goes through him until I am comfortable with enough knowledge to make choices.The night seems to be going well. I've met many people, some of whom Marco explained are clean. While they are part of the Cosa Nostra, they aren't involved in the illegal sides. He explains who each person is, and I am sure I will forget most of it. I already have."May I dance with my newest daughter, please?" I smile at Carlos as