Theodora's POVJavier loved me.Mads loved me.And I couldn't fucking say it back. I wanted to, but the words kept getting stuck in my throat, making me say that I cared about them, but I didn't think I loved them. What a load of bullshit. It was the self-destruction talking.I was the problem.Javier stepped away from me, getting to his feet and stripping himself of everything he was wearing. My mouth watered as I watched every article of clothing hit the ground. Fuck, I loved his body. I loved those massive shoulders and veiny arms. Deeply tanned skin that complimented his eyes that glided down me like hot honey. Whorls of black filled his gaze as hunger and lust consumed his eyes. Wetness pooled between my legs again, the eager bastard ready for round two.I knew I was insatiable already, but with Javier and Mads, I was even more sexually ravenous than ever before. Who could blame me, really? Just fucking look at him.Javier slipped his belt out of the loops, slidin

Mads's POVI couldn't stop staring at my hands. They didn't look like mine. I was trapped inside a skin that wasn't mine. My heart hammered, my body shaking like I was coming down from adrenaline, but it still coursed hotly through my veins.Nothing was as loud as if someone had stuffed cotton in my ears. I couldn't hear Theo's heartbeat or smell her scent. So disjointed from my body. Even Javier's voice sounded different. I couldn't detect the different tenors that made him so interesting to listen to.All their words fell on deaf ears. I couldn't process anything well with my senses dulled like the inhibitor drug the Pantomath dosed me with. But the wolf…the wolf was louder than ever. Stirring. Rousing. Growing in power.When Benji had finally docked, he unclipped his seatbelt harness, rushing over to me to make sure I was okay. Theo couldn't stay with me. Neither could Javier. I knew that. But it didn't make me feel any less than a newborn fawn standing on shaky legs. The

Javier's POVA fissure was forming inside of me. Splitting my connection to Theo and Mads. And every time I thought about her, laying there, bleeding and crumpled on the ground, the cracks got deeper. Fanning out inside of my chest.Cold and icy.It got out of hand, and it happened fast. I didn't know how to fix this. And after the fight, I healed pretty fast, but I couldn't say the same for Theo. Daxton wouldn't let me see her and honestly, I wasn't sure I'd be able to handle it if I did see her.Bruised and broken.I did that to her. I could blame Mads all I wanted, but he wasn't in his right mind. I was. Over the next few days during bloodletting, I'd watch Mads leave the holding area to go sit by the trees. He'd look over at me guiltily and dip his head. Stare at his hands.His leg still healing from where Theo shot him.I knew he hadn't been back to Peacemaker. Neither had I. And while the full moon was over and he finally seemed more like himself, he still spe

Theodora's POVThe fact that I could practically feel when Mads and Javier were nearby was really fucking weird. The strain of our physical distance from each other was relaxing even if the emotional tension was still there. It killed me that I couldn't see them. I couldn't let them in.If I did, I'd crumble into a pathetic sobbing mess because I missed them so damn much. The worst fucking bout of homesickness I'd ever felt. Funny. I thought Peacemaker was home. The ship I loved so much, the same one Javier called a rust bucket. A sharp laugh left my lips, followed by a hollow feeling in my chest. My eyes felt so puffy, sore, and red. I couldn't stand Javier back then. My attraction to him was skin-deep. An annoying sexual ache with pent-up frustration from my breakup with Mads. Simple as hell. It wasn't until after I saved him from the Pantomath that it started to feel more serious. That I started to notice how deep it ran. And started to finally notice how Mads looked

Theodora's POVWhile that wasn't completely uncharted with an occasional finger playing with the opening every once in a while, I'd never accommodated something as big as Javier or Mads. My eyes flickered down to their cocks, clearly erect and excited for me. My sex tingled, flexing with the desire to be filled. Tight. But that also really scared me. I was the type of girl to try anything once. But ass play was not something I ever really considered delving into.But I'd be lying if I said it didn't intrigue me. I'd heard it could be great if I had the right partners. That trust went a long way. And between Javier and Mads, I trusted them wholly, with everything I had. My body clenched down like a vise, snapping my legs shut almost instinctually. Javi withdrew, waiting patiently even though his cock said otherwise. "I won't do anything you don't want to," he promised. But I knew that already. They respected my boundaries. Even the very few times I said my safeword, usually