Chapter 2: Ruin

Chapter 2

Ruin

Daddy is the owner of the most successful clothing company in the country. May iba't iba pang branch ang Crisostomo Clothings Inc. overseas pero ang flagship ng korporasyon ay nandito sa Pilipinas. Our company is also known to be the best tandem alongside with De Leon Textiles, my husband's inherited company.

Our marriage strengthened not only our image in the sociedad but also our company's partnership. Malaking benefit ang nakuha ni Ivan kay Daddy at ganoon din si Daddy sa kaniya. They are even usually the talk of the town whenever there's a release of new designs under their partnership line. I'd say their collective successes produce continuous breakthroughs and their tandem takes the fashion industry by storm.

"We're about to go home, hija," Mommy informed over the line.

I halted on my tracks when it reached my ears. Naiwan ang isa kong kamay sa straps ng stilettos. I decided to just wear the shoes Ivan gave me since it's a perfect match with my royal blue ruffled long-sleeve dress.

"As in right now, Mom?" tigalgal kong tanong.

She chuckled. "Of course not! We still have a few things to fix here before settling our flight. But rest assured, hija. We'll be there in no time. We're gonna see each other, finally!"

Tipid akong napangiti at tinuloy ang pag-aayos sa sapatos. My parents migrated in the States after my wedding. I hate to think that it's because of embarassment dahil sumakto rin naman na kailangan magpagaling ni Mommy dahil sa kaniyang heart disease.

But I can't help but think that it's because of that. Because of me, rather. Sino nga bang magulang ang matutuwa na magkaanak ang anak nila sa murang edad?

None, of course. Kaya rin siguro iyon ang pinaka-epektibo nilang solusyon para makaiwas sa kahihiyan at hopefully, sa galit nila sa akin at sa nangyari.

"G-Galit pa rin po ba ang... Dad?" it was barely a whisper.

Matagal bago nakasagot si Mommy. She cleared her throat.

"Rigella, don't worry. Wala nang magiging violent reaction ang daddy mo. In fact, he's excited to go home for his grandson Ice-"

"But... he's still mad at me, right?"

She sighed.

Pumikit ako nang mariin. A bitter smile made its way to my lips. I am originally a daddy's girl but because of my mistakes and mindlessness, I lost my father. Not literally, but I don't have his heart anymore.

Alam kong kulang pa rin ang paghingi ko ng patawad noon. I disappointed him. He deemed me as a proper and obedient daughter but in the end, his hopes crumbled down. All his dreams for me were tainted and ruined.

Masakit at hindi ko na alam kung paano lalanggasan ang mga sugat pero wala akong pinagsisisihan. I'd rather think about my son and our family that makes him happy.

"He'll eventually forgive you..." Mom's voice soothed me a bit.

Tumango-tango ako, pilit na pinaniniwala ang sarili na ganoon nga. I wiped an escaped tear before answering.

"I hope so, Mom."

"Mangyayari 'yon. By the way, your husband didn't attend the conference with your father. Good thing he sent a message about it unlike before. May nangyari ba d'yan sa inyo?"

Nangyari? Maybe with Lara but not with me.

He said they were in Paris. The city of love. He's not brought me there yet. Or at least in other countries. Kapag magbabakasyon kami ay within the Philippines lang. And when Ice requests for a trip abroad, sila lang dalawa ang magkasama.

"He's... gotten busier this whole month, Mommy," I reasoned out.

It was true, though. Madalas na hectic ang schedule ng asawa ko sa opisina. Sometimes, he would usually go home thrice a week but now, he rarely visits our house. Sanay naman ako na wala siya palagi pero nag-aalala pa rin ako.

Dahil kahit umuuwi siya para lang kay Ice, gusto ko pa ring umuwi siya nang ligtas at maayos. It's more than enough for me.

Natapos lang ang tawag nang magpaalam si Mommy na magpapahinga na. Her timeline was quite different from mine so I understand. Nag-ayos ako sa harap ng tukador para naman maghanda sa pagkikita namin ni Roxy.

Unconsciously, I paused and stared at myself in the mirror. Sa tinagal-tagal ng panahon, mas napapansin ko ang pagma-mature ng hitsura ko. My fair skin hasn't changed its softness and my neck was better accentuated, marahil dahil pumayat ako. My almond eyes has faint dark circles underneath, pero nanatili ang pagkapungay ng mga iyon. My tall nose, my high cheekbones, my bow-shaped lips, and my body... all looked familiar. But I know they matured with time. 

Perks of being a housewife. But I'm proud to say that I'm doing my utmost best to keep this family together. Huminga ako nang malalim at piniling ngumiti sa sarili, ipinagkibit-balikat na lang ang naiisip.

The lower ends of my hair has a natural curl. Naglugay lang ako at nagsuot ng pearl earrings. My lips were smudged with nude pink lipstick. Nag-powder lang din ako dahil may kaputian naman na ang balat ko.

Sinulyapan ko ang aking relos para makita ang sinasabi nitong oras. It's barely one in the afternoon and I already ate lunch before I showered.

I have my own car that was provided by Ivan. Natuwa nga ako noon nang bigyan niya ako ng kotse dahil halos lahat ng ari-arian ko noong dalaga pa, na-confiscate ni Daddy. Even my bank accounts.

But slowly, as time passes, he gives back what he took from me.

My car was given to me solely because of Ice. Ako palagi ang sumusundo sa anak namin sa school dahil palagi rin namang abala si Ivan. But when he's got the time, he volunteers the fetching.

"I'm parking my car now," I told Roxanne when I reached our meeting place - the mall.

"Saglit nga, Rigella. Nagmamadali ka? Excited?" aniya.

Napailing ako. Roxanne aged but really did not change one bit.

"Nasa'n ka na ba?"

"Nasa condo pa, nagtsa-tsani ng pubic hair sa kili-kili. 'Gusto mo punta ka dito at ikaw ang gumawa para mabilis. Tutal nagmamadali ka, 'di ba?"

I can imagine her rolling her eyes. Huminga ako nang malalim.

"Seryoso kasi..."

"Eng-eng, papalabas na 'ko. Charot lang. Tumawag-tawag ka pa por que naka-plan 'yang phone mo. Unli calls pa nga."

Parang gusto kong pagsisihan na tinawagan ko siya.

"Okay, sa coffee shop tayo?"

"Malamang, saan pa ba? Unless may five star restaurant d'yan 'tapos handa kang magwaldas ng five digits, e 'di go."

Roxanne is also a daughter of a rich family like me. Sa kasamaang palad nga lang, naglayas siya sa kanila simula nang ma-brokenhearted sa kung sinumang dine-date niya noon. I don't really see the connection but I was not asking either. Mas gusto ko na siya ang magsabi pero taon na ang lumipas, wala pa rin akong naririnig.

"Hintayin na lang kita," deklara ko.

Binaba ko ang tawag. I alighted from my car with my shoulder bag and started walking to reach our favorite coffee shop. Siguro pagdating ko, mago-order na rin ako para sa aming dalawa dahil paulit-ulit din naman ang kinakain ni Roxy.

Sinisilid ko sa loob ng aking bag ang phone nang bigla itong mag-ring. I didn't stop, though. Akmang iche-check ko ang naka-flash sa screen nang aksidenteng mabangga ako sa kung sino. The force was strong that I nearly repelled in the air.

Nagkalat ang mga gamit na niluwa ng bukas kong shoulder bag, kasama na rin ang mismong bag. Suminghap ako at napapalatak. Agad akong nagpulot.

"Sorry," a cold baritone voiced out.

Nag-angat ako ng tingin. A man dressed in full black attire was the one I clashed against. Inayos niya ang nagusot na maong jacket bago ako tinulungan sa pagpupulot.

I don't know but I shivered when I saw nothing but thick shades and a mask on his face. Naka-cap din siyang itim.

Siya na ang tumapos sa inaayos ko dahil natulos ako sa kinatatayuan. He clung the strap of my shoulder bag on me and tapped my back. Mas lalo akong nanginig dahil pakiramdam ko, sa likod ng mga nakatabing sa kaniya ay ang malamig niyang ekspresiyon.

Quickly, he ran past me while I watched him, still in a daze.

Nagising lang ako sa aking munting panaginip nang muling mag-ring ang aking phone. Tumuon ako roon at halos manlaki ang mga mata nang makita ang pangalan ni Ivan. He texted me.

Ivan:

Where are you?

I found the text weird. Gayunpaman, nagtipa pa rin ako ng reply kahit na hindi sanay na tine-text niya tungkol sa mga pinupuntahan ko. I just think he doesn't care so... why text me?

Ako:

I went out for a bit. With Roxanne. Susunduin ko naman si Ice after nito. Bakit?

Naghintay ako ng reply mula sa kaniya but I didn't get any. I tilted my head. Could it be that it was just wrongly sent?

Dumiretso ako sa shop na napag-usapan namin. Malapit-lapit na ako sa entrance nang pumihit din patalikod dahil sa gulat.

Oh my! I saw Ivan!

Sumulyap pa ako nang isang beses para makumpirma kung totoo nga. But then again, it's still him!

An arm wrapped around a girl's waist, he smiled radiantly. Halos matulala ako roon. Kung hindi lang siguro siya napalingon sa direksiyon ko, magmumukha akong nagigimbal sa mga ngiti niya.

Pero... he turned to me!

Panic was rushing within me but I couldn't move a limb. Hindi ko rin maintindihan kung bakit nakatigil sila sa entrance pero mas lalo na itong parehas pa kami ng pinuntahan!

Nagsasalita ang babaeng hawak niya ngunit mariin siyang nakatingin sa akin. He stole a moment to glance at her but he immediately shifted to see me again.

May sinabi siya sa babae at pumasok na ito sa shop. I saw the girl wearing thick shades and a coat. I noticed Ivan was only in his white dress shirt.

He took a step forward. Kumabog ang dibdib ko. Marahan ang mga hakbang niya patungo sa akin at sa madilim niyang mukha, naaapuhap ko ang numinipis niyang pasensiya.

His hand was in his pocket as he faced me. Napatingala ako sa kaniyang tangkad.

"What are you doing here?" he asked menacingly.

The wild pumping in my heart doubled. I could almost feel it in my throat. My lips parted but my voice was chained. I couldn't speak.

Pitik marahil iyon kay Ivan kaya marahas niyang ninakaw ang aking braso at humakbang nang malalaki. All of it dawned on me. My tongue was back.

"I-Ivan, wait!"

But he won't stop!

Lumuwag ang kaniyang hawak nang makapasok kami sa isang restaurant. The guard greeted us but we were fast to even take a look. Pumasok kami sa isang comfort room. He pushed me without holding back that my back painfully hit the sink.

"Ah!" d***g ko.

"You're really desperate, aren't you?" aniya sa nangungutyang boses.

Unti-unti akong bumaling sa kaniya.

"I didn't know-"

"Liar!" he grunted.

Pumikit ako at nag-iwas ng tingin.

"I told you to never show your face when I'm with Lara!"

La... ra? He's with Lara? That girl is her?

Bumungad sa akin ang malabo niyang imahe nang magmulat ako. He told me he'll date her today, alright. But I thought he was just mocking me. At lalong hindi ko naman alam na nandito rin pala sila.

Besides, how would I know? Ni hindi ko naisip na pupunta siya sa ganitong lugar.

"You're doing this on purpose because of what I'd told you. You even chose the method that will anger me," mapanganib niyang sinabi.

Hindi na 'ko nakatiis. Habang nakaluhod, I reached for his arm. Naluluha na ako ngunit ayaw ko na iyong pansinin. I just want to explain to him.

"Ivan, please. H-Hindi ko talaga alam. Maniwala ka naman. Nandito rin kami palagi ni Roxy at hindi ko alam nandito kayo..."

His brows furrowed. Darkness grazed his silver depths. They were cutting at me.

"Do you really think I'd believe you and your stupid excuse?"

Tila pinanawan ako ng pag-asa. "Ivan-"

Using his arm that's inside my hold, he pushed me again but this time, I ended up on the floor. Napaupo ako at mas tumindi ang pag-iyak. I tried hugging his legs but like a wild beast that's jailed, he was struggling on my hold.

"Stop it!" pagalit niyang sinabi nang makalaya.

I bent my knees in front of him to show him that I'm telling the truth. That I really didn't know. And that... I'm being broken into fragments.

"No matter what you do, I'll never bring myself to forgive you! Like you! And more so, love you!"

Napahikbi ako. Tumungo ako at sinugatan ang sarili sa pamamagitan ng pakikinig lang.

"Ruin my life all you want, Rigella. You already did once the moment you forced this unwanted marriage. Now, I won't let you do it twice by stopping what I have with Lara."

Pagkatapos niyon, ang marahas na pagsalpok ng pinto na lang ang narinig ko. Nanghihina kong niyakap ang sarili dahil sa kalunos-lunos na nangyari.