"Are you okay, Cheska?" I asked her when we reached their garden. We sat on the hammock attached to the tree, it had a lot of space so we both fit.
I saw her alone hete so it was better to talk to her about something that was bothering her. It's garden is also simple and clean. The plants are well arranged and can be seen to be well cared for. Maybe Mom Rosy takes care of them.
Cheska turned her gaze to me and her eyes were sad. Her situation can be seen to be very difficult. I wonder where's her mother? If she comes, he may be here or maybe she is in another house if there is one.
"I'm thinking of m-mommy," she said softly. "She didn't come here because we have another house, but when I think of my dad who is in the States, I also want to go with her. It's hard to choose the people who's very important to you."
"They need to know Cheska. I know they can understand." I am pertaining to our friends. Maybe I'm already in the gang? I don't know. But I think, they will understand.
"Sure, but there is no guarantee that I can go home. What if, I can't come back here and stay in the States forever with my parents?"
I was stunned by what she said. Sure, that's what happens. The difficulty of her situation now.
"Don't even think about the future. It will never happen." I said. She frowned at what I said. "It's your chance. Just tell them. I won't lead you."
"Thank you, Jane. I'll sort this thing out."
Smiling I nodded at her. I know he can get through it too. He can make better decisions.
"Go inside first, Jane. I'll just get some air." I smiled at her and then nodded. I got up and said goodbye to her.
When I entered their house again, I found Zaine looking for someone. He was in the living room with Ethan while watching TV.
When Zaine's eyes met mine, he immediately approached.
Calm down, self.
"Jane, did you see Cheska?" His voice is tinged with seriousness. He is looking for Cheska.
"She's in the garden," I replied. He just nodded and thanked before going to our friend.
I looked back at Ethan who was still sitting comfortably. He was also looking at the door where Zaine went out to the garden where Cheska is now. I approached him and sat on the sofa two spans away. Only then did he notice me.
"Jane, are you okay?" He asked. I nodded. "Why are you so quiet?" I frowned at his question.
"I used to be quiet."
"I know you, Jane..." He hung up. Eventhough the noise of the TV I can still hear what he said. "You're name is Jane Samantha Valdez, daughter of Mr. Joaquin Valdez and the current CEO of Valdez Group of Companies." There was a smirk on his lips when he saw that I was stunned.
How did he know this?
"I know your father, and also your history. I know you are not as modest and quiet as you are," he added.
I swallowed the limp in my throat and chose to shook my head as I stare at him. I met his gaze with a streak of unknown emotions and showed that I did not care on what he said.
"So?"
"You're just like a black sheep of your family, tsk tsk." He shook his tongue and averted his eyes. "But, I understand you though."
"Huh?"
"Hm," he looked at me with a grin. "What I'm trying to say is, your reasons to why you did that. Anyone in your position will do what you did."
I was speechless. He really knows something, but not everything. He may looked like a common person with a handsome face, the looked he gave me, just send chills.
"Are you my stalker?" I asked, absentmindedly. I just realized he was laughing at my question.
"No, I just heard your name from your father. He's always mentioning you when there's a business gathering. You have a proud father huh?"
I was completely stunned. Is that real? Dad never show affection to her own daughter. He doesn't show interest and feelings when it comes to us. So it's unbelievable that what this guy said is true.
He's just joking.
I just shook by what he said. I still can’t believe it right away.
"Guys, we'll go first. You'll come with us?" I saw Chelsea approach our place with a sly grin. I just nodded when I saw Zaine behind her with Clifford entered the room. His forehead was furrowed as he entered.
What happened?
"Sure," I replied to her. I stood up and turned to Ethan. Maybe he also noticed Zaine's mood is bad now.
"Come on, Jane. Clifford's car is already there. He'll take us home." He said.
"Jane's coming with me." We turned to Zaine who was already in sight of us. "The driver and I will pass their house."
Chelsea looked at me. I just nod at her even though I was confused by what Zaine said.
We said goodbye to Mother Rosy and greeted her again. Cheska even is with to take us outside their house.
"Thanks for coming, guys." She showed us a faint smile. Although it seemed clear in the eyes of others, it did not reach hee eyes.
"Thank you too, Cheska." Clifford said. Chelsea and Clifford also bid their goodbyes before drove away. Ethan, Zaine, Cheska and I were left.
"All right, Cheska. We'll go first." We got in the van we had ridden earlier. Ethan is in the passenger seat which I do not know why.
I am next to Zaine now in the back. We just kept quiet until we take Ethan home, he was just quiet the whole time.
We were close to my house but neither of us spoke. Their driver was running moderately while just looking straight at the road.
I am facing the window as we passed the street lights. I looked at my wristwatch and realized it was eight o'clock at night.
"Jane, can I ask you something?" I looked at Zaine as he spoke. I was even surprised to see that he was looking at my direction.
"S-sure, what is that?"
"What did you and Cheska talk about?" He asked, startling me. He looks at me with a blank face that I never seen from him. It's very unusual to see this reaction.
I can't say what's bothering Cheska. I promised to her that I won't bother about those things. And it's her privacy and rights to told them about that.
"I just greeted her," I lied. I wish he didn't recognize my trembling voice. I was nervous about his answer.
"Ah, is that so," he said. "I noticed that Cheska has been a bit anxious these past few days. Maybe, she was just tired and stressed because of the upcoming exam." He added.
"Yeah, maybe."
I just sighed. Maybe that's just the way it is. If Cheska's decision will bother them, I don't know what will happen.
He cares for Cheska so much, and I envy her. She has a caring bestfriend that always with her. She has a guy that's always worried if something's not right. I wish I have that one too.
"Don't worry too much, Zaine. I know she will tell you what's bothering her." I just answered. It just smiled back.
A few minutes later we were quiet until we reached my house. Since Zaine was near the door he opened it and went down first so I followed.
"Thank you for taking me home, Zaine, and to you Sir Driver." I turned to the driver in his seat who was just staring at us from the open door of the van.
"No prob, Jane. I'll go ahead." He got in the car and I just watched them leave.
Cheska is so lucky to have Zaine.
***
It's Saturday afternoon and my grandma just had her check-up today. Tita Gisselle is not with us when grandma has her check-up schedule because Tita is so busy, I offered to accompany grandma today.
Her check-up is over so we plan to go home after buying the prescription drugs.
"Jane, I'll just talk to my friend near the benches here." Grandma said as we were leaving.
"Yes, grandma. I'll just wait for you."
We walked out of Dra. Quintos when I suddenly stopped walking. I held my grandmother on her arm to support her so she felt me stopped at my track..
When we got out I saw a sophisticated woman while she was talking to someone. She's with her lab gown suit today, just like the old time. It's mom.
"Jane, what's the matter?" Grandma questioned. I hope she doesn't see me.
I shook my head and chose to continue walking. Grandma did not see the woman I was referring to.
Yeah, maybe she knew Dra. Quintos. She's a doctor too.
I would not have turned my back on their direction when someone grabbed my hand. We were outside and looked at the person who grabbed me just to saw Ethan smiling.
"Jane, it's really you." He said. He looked at grandma and greeted her. "Good afternoon."
This man is also polite,huh?
"Good afternoon, hijo," Grandma greeted back to Ethan. "I'll sit on the bench over there first. I'll just talk to my friend." She pointed to the bench near this clinic. Someone in her age was sitting in a wheelchair.
"Come on," I offred but she just removed my grip and went alone to where she pointed out.
"That's your guardian?" I turned to Ethan who was looking at grandma.
"Yes, she's my nanny before."
"By the way, your mother is h-" I didn't finish what he was going to say.
"I know."
"You don't even have a reaction? You don't want to approach her?" He looked at mommy's behavior where I had seen her before. "She's talking to my mom."
"Ah ... I don't want to. She will just disown me when she saw me like this." Ethan stared at me from head to toe. I just wore pants dyed blue long sleeve blouse and a flat shoes. I was a little embarrassed so I kept a little distance from him.
"They're coming."
I did not realize that the ladies came close to us and I was confronted by them realizing mommy was with me again.
There was an unreadable emotion at the sight she threw at me. She was next to the woman she was talking to who I think was Ethan's mommy. She's also beautiful. Ethan has his thick eyelashes on her.
"Mom, Tita. Good afternoon," Ethan greeted next to me.
"Hi po," I followed to greet them even though my heart was pounding. Nervous for no apparent reason.
Is it because I saw mommy again after my two years of disappearance? Or because until now, the pain that I have always felt because of him is still here.
I hid from them for two years, but in this simple encounter they will see me like this.
"Is she your girlfriend, Ethan?" I regained from my deep thoughts and looked at the lady beside mom. I turned to Ethan who looked at me and hesitated.
"No, mom. She's my friend, Jane." Ethan answered. I looked at mommy to see her reaction. She just stood in front and could not be traced by any emotion. I feel uncomfortable talking to her as I know she's been-scratch that-my dad's been looking for me.
"Oh, is that so? You're really beautiful hija. You look like someone I can't determine." He said I just smiled. Maybe she's pertaining to my dad as I resembles him more than my mother.
"Thank you." I held my breath when Ethan suddenly grabbed me again by the arm tightly. I did not even expect that.
"We'll go first, mom. We have a project to do." Ethan's excused. He's just saying those things as if we're classmates even though we're not.
"Jane..." my mom called. She's looking at me now. "Be safe." she added.
I just nodded and just felt chest tightness. I did not realize that Ethan was passing me near Grandma's place.
"You'll be fine, right?" I heard Ethan whispered to me. "Don't cry."
He looked at me. Pity will stain in his looks and I don't want that. I don't want someone to pity me for just things.
"I'm not crying." my answer. He just turned to me and raised his hand to wipe my cheek. I did not realize I was in tears.
"I knew you completely now." I just held his hand holding my cheek. I removed it.
"I am okay, Ethan. Thank you." I left him alone and approached Grandma who was just sitting on the bench.
I just lied.
'I am okay.'
A phrase people used to say that they're fine even if it's not.
And I am one of those people.
I am in the bedroom now while lying alone in my bed. It was like this bed and my room is my escape zone from everything. I can do what I want. I can cry on my pillow, get excited as I see my idols performing on stage and receiving their awards, writing my unidentified feelings and emotions I feel, and I can be crazy for watching funny videos and other stuffs just to make myself happy.These are just the things and acts I can't show to other people. It was hidden just for myself, and I dont want them to see that side of me.Maybe I'm overreacting and judgmental for prejudging people who didn't saw it yet. They say, think ahead. But I am like that. It was like overthinking of things over and over again until you get tired of what you are thinking because you can not find an answer.And I can't just be like that.I remember what Ethan told me. That I am not the way I am. I am not showing my true self to
"Mom."I just stared at her, shocked and confused as to why she's here at school. I do not know what to say at this time.It's been a month since I last saw her. She's been with Ethan's mother that time. I didn't expect to see her in our school.Wait, was this the famous student here then?"Mrs. Valdez," I heard ma'am call then shut up. My mother just turned to her. "You may take your seat so that we can discuss about Jane."I was nervous about what ma'am said. Why? I did nothing wrong here at school. I have not even participated in pageants since then unless the teacher himself will take me just like the MTAP competition."Is she doing fine studying here?" Mommy asked. I then looked at ma'am who just motioned me to sit in the chair opposite her. I just followed and sat down."She's been doing fine. She's also one of the dean lister of th
"She's been avoiding me," Ethan said as he scratched his nape.We are at their house to help Chelsea for the preparation of our Moving Up. Chelsea is one of the representatives of our student body organization. The group volunteered to work here.Ethan's pertaining to Cheska. I don't know if he likes her or what. Ethan is a type of guy that's very secretive. We can't simply read what's running om his mind. He may always smirk, but those are just his mannerism to hide the real one."Why would you think of that?" I asked. I cut out the foils to make the decorations. I was with him while the others were doing their own thing."Not sure, she's very distant this past few days." I looked at him to see his face. He looked at me seriously that I rarely saw from him."Yeah, I noticed too," I replied to him. Maybe that's because of Cheska's current situation, about her parents."Does Cheska tell you any
I am with Zaine.He's alone now and been avoiding us since the day Cheska left. He's been always distant himself to us as if no one cares for him.We're here in a park. Trees surrounding us with lights over it. The street lights are aligned parallel to each other. Benches were placed around a big plaza. People can picnic here and it's always open for everyone. This place is simple, yet very special for Zaine. He's always here, sitting alone on a bench and will just stargazing.I bring my sketch pad with me. This is also one my hobby aside from being a fangirl and a bookworm. I like to draw things and people around.It's already 9 in the evening yet I'm still outside. I told my grandmother that I would let the air out first because it was close to our house. After Cheska left unexpectedly, I'm always seeing Zaine here. I didn't follow him secretly though. It's just a coincidence that I alw
I was still lying on my bed even though it's now morning. I am already awake but something is still pulling me not to leave this bed. I was lazy to go down and eat especially that I would see them.I just sighed at the thought. I can't help but to be with them. We are in the same house, and I also can't kick just to avoid it.I left the bed and thought of taking a bath. When I finished, I just put on my house clothes and then went downstairs.I found dad in the living room when I got down. He was talking to someone on the phone and he was talking seriously to that person because his frown. He was next to mommy who was just sitting on the one seater sofa while holding a cup of coffee. She was still wearing the lab gown she was wearing in the hospital.I was about to go straight to the kitchen to have breakfast when dad called me. Slowly, I turned around and saw that they were both looking at my direction.
"I didn't expect you to be here." I heard him said and gently smile at me."Ah, me too." I immediately calmed down and sat up. I even glance at mom and dad who were watching me while my sister had a knowing smile as if she knew what was going on."You knew her, Zaine?" Auntie Zandra asked when she saw my reaction. That's why the surname Madrigal is familiar because it belongs to Zaine."She's my friend and schoolmate," Zaine simply answered. I felt my cheek getting hot so I just bow my head down so they couldn't see my cheeks' redness."Oh, that's great." I looked at Zaine's mom's direction who's wearing a smile on her face as she looked around us. I don't know how I will feel right now."Will the Waltridge come?" Mommy changes the subject. There I looked at his direction."Waltridge?" I'm not sure. Maybe they are referring to someone else and not the person I am thinking of.
It has been more than a month since I returned home. It was still the same. I've never made an effort to be close with them. It's not the same as before. We have lost our closeness and they only spend time on work.I was just a shadow in my mother's eyes. She treats me as if I'm just a stranger to her. She never dared talked to me in person. We only have casual and short conversations mostly when we're eating together. She's always busy in the hospital as she's one of the head doctors.Same with dad. He's busy as always and mostly at his office. He only went home once compared to before that at seven o'clock, he's already at home, joining with us to eat.Jack and Jace are also busy with their assigned positions in the company. One of them will be the one to manage on that. They are only free on Sundays and sometimes they even have a scheduled meeting on those days.I want to understand the situation now. They have t
It was raining heavily outside. The rain pours as if someone's mourning above, extremely cold weather and strong winds.I wonder if my friends are okay. They've been very busy this vacation. We seldomly talked over the phone. The last time I saw them was when our Moving Up. We never had a meet up again.A month from now, classes will resume again. I don't know but it seems like time is moving faster than before. It seemed like only a month passed for me. I do not know if I will regret coming back here or if I will find a way to make my family reunite again.It was like, I have a complete family but feels like it hadn't.I would rather live with Grandma Flores than stay in our own house with no one living. They're always busy, and I feel loneliness I felt before. And my only company here are the housemates.It's okay to be low profile, at least you're complete. Instead of having the thing