Chapter Nine

I couldn't do it.

I couldn't end my life.

There was something bigger that stopped me. The plan melted off my brain and I went through the trouble of undoing all the knots. Now I'm agonizing over the damned engagement. I haven't gone through the trouble of checking the wardrobe. When the time comes, I'll grab whatever I lay my hands on. I'm not dressing up to impress him.

I don't know if I should be anxious about it. He has a girlfriend, so I'll deduce that it will only be me, him, and Aurelio. He'll hand me a ring (if there is one) and I'll be brought back here to rot and fester. I don't rule Giotto out from the possible list of guests. I have to prepare myself mentally to see him and not act out. That's the priority right now.

There's a knock on the door. Aurelio clears his throat, "You have an hour. Are you ready?"

I don't reply. I feel a tiny prickle of panic, but I immediately push it aside. Getting ready won't take me five minutes. There's no hairdo or makeup or anything simila