If I thought cleaning up my own vomit was an excruciating experience it was nothing compared to the silent treatment I got from Finn. Three weeks after my messy, drunken error, not said a single word .
He’s stopped guarding me at night too. I woke up during a heavy rainfall and looked over the mezzanine to find nothing but darkness. He was nowhere to be seen. I stayed awake, staring up through the skylight as the clouds and stars danced. Finn returned three hours later just before dawn.Arms folded like a scolding wife I muttered loudly into the darkness. “I know you are sneaking out when I’m sleeping.”Nothing. I strode down the stairs and lit a lamp with an angry flourish.“I didn’t think that was allowed? I heard Beta Zeke instructions!”He simply shrugged and started carving, pointing up towards the stairs with a flick of his knife. After being rejected that night he’d become a giant sulky teen.“I’ll tell Beta Zeke!”He just sniggered at that one. So in less than a minute I managed to sound like a old nag and a tattletale schoolgirl. I'm a Luna this isn't how it's meant to go.My soul, my spirit feels like it's freezing from within. I’m not made to live in silence. Back at White Forest I was chatty and bright. Possibly annoying. Loneliness already had its miserable claws in me back at Rising Star. Especially after poor Luna Hollie was murdered. Before the Ceremony I was already searching for excuses to linger in White Forest.Giving up on Finn I returned to my bed wtih a dramatic flop. The longer I lay on the mattress sulking the more ridiculous I felt. There were people having their families destroyed by this Hybrid Army. People who had nothing even before the War started.Shaking out my brown curls I shrugged on the heavy white wool cardigan and headed downstairs. The stomping of boots told me the changing of guards had occurred.“Lucien, can we maybe talk?”The green eyes of Finn’s father flicked up to me in surprise. Like Finn he was working on a piece of wood, carving it into some kind of bird by the looks of it. As a bodyguard he was perfection. No alcohol passed his lips, he frequently wandered up the stairs to check on me. I always shut my eyes to pretend I was napping but at least he was guarding me properly.“Of course. I think you’ll get more interesting conversation out of Bella but I’m here if you need.”“What do you think of this war?”He raised an eyebrow and set his hump of dark brown wood to the side, folding his pen-knife away. “I’ve been out of the world, tucked away down here for over twenty years but nothing changes.”“What do you mean?”“People and power. Always dangerous.”I knew his history. He was once an assassin. Those huge, sculpted shoulders draped in a white shirt, three silvery scars on his neck. He killed to order. The quiet, grey-eyed Bella was a murderer turned miracle healer. “Is that why you came to live down here?”“No. We came down here because we wanted somewhere safe to raise a family. Which it was,” those green eyes catching mine. Was, his thinks I've ruined their sanctuary.“Didn’t Bella kill-““You’ll need to ask her,” he said quickly. I swear the scars on his neck pulsed a little. I blushed, he was so defensive of the tiny petite woman he adored. “Her story is her own.”“I’m sorry, I think I am just over excited at actually talking to someone.”His green eyes stayed on mine, his head tilting slightly to the side. Oh Goddess, I think he pities me./He has Bella. What do we have/ Livi scolded me and another, even fiercer blush covered my cheeks. No wonder Phillipe considered me an idiot. I don't even realise what's happening in front of me. Lucien let out a sigh, brushing the sawdust from his black work pants.“I can ask Finn to swap to daytime if you would prefer?”“Oh no, no thank you,” I replied a touch too quickly.“He’s…I’m sorry if he’s upset you. He reminds me of myself at that age. Too much to prove and a bit too much ego. He will come good though. I know it.”/Curious, he doesn’t think his son is a saint/“He’s not a bad guy, he just doesn’t like me I think,” I reassured him, before walking towards the front door, the sun beaming through. “Would it be okay to sit in your house today?” and I saw a glimpse of happiness cross his face.All the time I have been sitting here moping I have been keeping him away from Bella. He sprung to his feet as we walked down the path together. “We keep goats and chickens down there but they’re too bloody noisy to have near the house. Bella grows everything in these beds here, the jetty is down that way-““You have a jetty? Water?” I exclaimed. I loved nothing more than dipping my feet into the cool rippling flow of water back home at White Forest.“Follow the stream another couple of hundred metres and it empties out into a giant lake, or ocean. I’m not entirely sure. Zena knows.”“Zena is a force of nature,” I said softly, jealousy curling like flames in my stomach. All the clothes I borrowed were glamorous and expensive. Mature and grown up. It made the gowns and long trailing corseted wonders I roamed the castle halls in seem almost childish.Clad in leather and silk I felt like I was part fire-breathing dragon. Zena seemed to do as she wished, when she wished. She had Alpha Cillian’s confidence yet wandered between packs like a carefree butterfly.I got a gentle “hmm,” and nothing else. He reminded me of my father. Both big brooding, overprotective men. Little words but so much expression in an ageing face. My father made the same humming noise whenever anyone complimented me. I always felt it meant, “you don’t really know her.”Both men would die for their mates without hesitation. Why wouldn’t mine?Sat in the cosy oak kitchen with a huge pot of herbal tea brewing I could feel the very essence of happiness in the room. Bella busied herself and offered never-ending snacks and nibbles. Finn was sleeping in Zena’s room, so our voices were muted.When they thought I couldn't see, Bella quickly place her hand on Lucien’s huge shoulder, for him to then enclose it in his huge grip. With a twist of his head he placed a swift, unashamed kiss on the top of her hand.I felt my own heart lurch at the loving gesture. Lucien unsubtly excused himself to grab some more wood from outside for Bella’s kitchen fire.Her grey eyes stared at me calmly as she leant against the basin. Silent, waiting for me to talk. The first thing that shot out of my mouth was, “It is amazing how well you two just fit each other. The Moon Goddess…you’re so perfect together.”“Oh I annoyed him no end when we first met, I was a complete burden” Bella laughed, her mouth widening to reveal a beautiful smile. “He didn’t speak to me for so long! We aren’t a perfect match by any means.”“But surely you are-““The mate-bond isn’t the same as love Freya,” she said softly, another look of pity heading my way. “You build love together. Like the pieces of furniture Lucien creates, the wood he uses has flaws, dents and marks throughout. But he finds the perfect bit to work wtih it, so the flaws...become perfections.”She smiled to herself, I wondered if Lucien had first told her those words.My memory flicked to one stormy night a few months after being mated to Phillipe. The first time his purple-eyed wolf came into my mate bond. When he was rougher, firmer with me. Forcing me to the bedroom floor, covering my knees in scrapes and pulling my hair.I had faked my pleasure. Because I had my mate. I was a Luna princess, mated to an Alpha prince. I had everything I could ever need. As I cried out in pain I was baffled how it made him thrust even harder. How could hearing me suffer thrill him?“I know they’re not the same thing,” I replied softly, without a hint of conviction. “I just like the fairy-tale I guess.”"I suppose being Luna, there's an awful lot of fairy-tale to work with," she smiled sympathetically."You would think," I reply with a wry smile.I silently beg Livi to stop my mind replaying the way it felt when Phillipe's hand came around my throat. My breathing hitched, focus drifting as I fell deeper into the memory of those dark nights. Eventually choking me became one of the only ways Phillipe found his climax. He explained both his wolves loved it. So my wolf must love it.To protest was to disappoint, I learned that lesson quickly. Meek Freya was the one he wanted to find in his bed. Otherwise...he tended to have sudden business in the north.“Luna Freya, are you okay?” With a gasp I realised my hands were white, gripping the cardigan around my waist like a straightjacket.Blushing as I loosened my grip, I tried to drink my tea and act normal. I kept the teacup in my hand for far longer than necessary in order to avoid rattling the saucer with my shaking hands.“I’m fine, sorry. I guess I just miss my parents. They would die for each other too. You’re all so lucky to have that double-bond. Your wolves and your hearts.”“Freya…when I was younger than you, I had love all wrong too. There’s nothing wrong with growing up. Not all fairy tales are lies, but not all of them make it out of our dreams either.”“How long does it take to stop being an idiot then?”“Well considering I still burn Lucien’s meals twenty years later, you just need someone who doesn’t see your flaws as a big deal,” grinning with a flash of her rainbow-coloured irises.“You really are awful at cooking though,” came a deep male voice as Bella opened a kitchen window and threw a wooden spoon out. The huge belly laugh of Lucien seemed to make the whole cabin shake and as much as I wanted to join in the merriment, I felt hollow.My mate bond is a complete and utter lie. The mark on my collarbone is a curse not a gift. There is no coming back. No begging, no promises, no changes could possibly see Phillipe and I as happy as the couple in front of me as another spoon flew out of the window.Nausea rose in my stomach. I need to reject Phillipe. Face to face, staring into those ocean-blue eyes, only to throw everything I believed I wanted in the world straight back at him.Then what do I do? What is the life of an ex-Luna?“Hey! Come here!” Lucien shouted as the laughter quickly stopped and my breath caught. Something was wrong.Then he cried “FINN!”The tumbling racket of his huge son jumping into action. He sprinted out of the door, the ripping of his clothes followed a grey wolf leaping from the porch and up the track.Bella wrapped her arms around my shoulder and shut us both inside her airy pantry cupboard, “Stay quiet!”Phillipe has come for me. Howls and sickening sounds of pain soon followed as I hid with Bella. Lucien and Finn eventually dragged back the tattered bodies of two Beta’s from Rising Star to see if I could identify them. I couldn't. I’d barely been lived at Rising Star. The best I could offer was that their purple shoulder tattoo matched one of Beta Patrick’s. The pouch of wolfsbane-bane laced syringes strapped to the body of one confirmed their intent. “So at least two people in Rising Star knew you were here,” Lucien grunted before grabbing two shovels, throwing one towards Finn. Both panted heavily, covered in rough bleeding scratch marks. “What now then?” I asked, shivering despite the sun. Huge teeth marks surrounded one entire shoulder, almost wrenching it clean off. The other was missing the vast majority of his torso, with fresh red and beige gore glinting in the sun. Their legs bent at angles that made my stomach churn, ruby blood seeping onto the path. “We bury them. H
Not five seconds after that scream I found her. Rush guided me like a laser around the back of the battered van to find her freaking out at the bloody mess on the ground. Tendrils of twirling brown hair escaped around her shoulders. A long, black leather jacket, open and showing a silky white top that barely covered her chest. Had she come out in her fucking nightclothes? The fact I have to tell myself not to look down again, has Rush fizzing with adenalin. He wants to do a hell of a lot more than look. /Fine. What about the guy on the floor/ Rush nudged me but I’m not looking at that gory mess. Not when I need to keep my focus. Last time I stared for too long at a battle victim it sent me straight back down that hole of grief. Instead I shouted “Freya!” gripping her wrists in my hands, fighting her flailing struggles. Quick as a flash I slammed her wrists high above her against the filthy van doors. I was forcing her to look up, to realise it was me,. “Freya, we need to get ou
I don’t really know if Zeke had the authority to promise houses, thousands of reals of gold and even a boat to one guy. He promised whatever each man valued their own life at, swearing on Alpha Cillian’s honour they would be paid. It was not lost on me as the grubby, grasping demands rolled in that Zeke was fighting purely for his pack. For the honour and survival of Shadowlands. I doubt my father, Alpha Alexander would be so generous for just over a dozen rough, surly looking hulks. Zeke seemed to know what he was doing. My mother, well she would have probably just ripped one of the fighters eyes out and made the rest fall into line. She’s quite full-on when she wants to be. When she’s not wallowing in a pit of self-hatred anyway. When people say I remind them of her I always scoff. I see her weaknesses in me sadly, not her strengths. I’m forced to tune back into the conversation as Zeke finishes scribbling down his agreed commitments to each of the fighters. Some shake hands vigo
How was this possible? Zeke isn’t my mate, yet my body is on fire for his touch. This isn’t what they teach you. Every shifter knows only your true mate turns your blood to a terrifying mix of ice and fire. Racing through every cell and lighting you up like dynamite. Does he feel the same? Do I have a secret second wolf, or am I just really into long-haired grumps whose eyes glimmer in the dark? The sensation of his lips against mine is making me push closer into his body and the bike. I blank my mind to the many, many problems I am creating through my own insatiable curiosity.Despite having a firm grip on my hips, Zeke pulled away first. With only the headlamp of the motorcycle, I could just see the green flashes hurtling through his irises. Stunning, wild, and hungry, their unique glow was imprinted in my memory already. Holding me so tightly, pinned against his thigh and the side of the bike./Say something/ Livi exclaimed, but I wanted to see what Zeke did. Which turned out to
“Maddox what the hell are you doing here?” He inspected underneath his black boot with disdain. “Why the fuck am I walking through gore? I thought this was a safe house!” “Not that safe if you know about it,” I snapped back. “Answer the question.” “Who the hell is this!” Finn’s surly voice cutting through. Yes the lump had fought well but I can’t trust him yet. The temptation to see how he handled six wolves on his own was almost entirely a military decision. Almost. Not that seeing him receive a few bites would have felt like sweet revenge for how poorly he's treated Freya. /But look how we just treated her/ Rush snarled, still absolutely furious with me for pulling away. The kiss that somehow froze and ignited my very soul in a heartbeat. I didn’t talk to her because I had nothing to say. No words could explain just how dangerously she’s flung me towards the borderline of sanity. She might have a mate, she may well be a Luna. But now, she is the most important thing in my wo
Stroking up and down his stomach, fingertips resting on his hip was irrestible. If a kiss sent sparks down to my toes what would kissing the rest of him feel like? That heady red-wine scent smells devious. It makes my mind conjure up images of gripping his hair, placing his face where I want it. Being in control for a change. He’s nothing like Phillipe, where everything had to be on his terms. My pleasure was assumed to be a result of his. Not even the mate bond can pull off that miracle every time. Livi teasingly reminds me how his stiffening cock thrummed against my body after brushing past him in the doorway. He wants me but he’s fighting it. The idea of him giving in, just pulling me into his hold forces me to shift and adjust on the back of the bike. Then I asked him to take me to Rising Star. His voice lowered, a hint of confusion. “I’d have to clear it with Alpha Cillian, work out to get you there safely but…if that was what you wanted.” “I don’t want to go back to Phillip
So I caved. Climbing that rope ladder like a man possessed I’d warned Rush not to push it. Not to get swept up in that delicious, lingering orange blossom that made me want to just get on my knees and worship her. Now as she rested her head against my chest, her quivering breaths making me want to do it all over again a curious silence washed over us. The line had been well and truly crossed. I swore to myself I would protect her, not fall for her. It was worth it though. Watching her face bea as she gave out her daring requests. Those perfect little moans, the ruby glimmer in her eyes. Chasing that spark up and down her body. Feeling all those gorgeous, sensual curves that have been placed in my direction entirely to taunt me. Her nipples through that silk top had been lethal. I twisted my fingers deviously as I withdrew from her soaked core, forcing a final little groan of pleasure that I savoured. My cock was fit to burst but that wasn’t what this was about. She asked if I was
Waking up on the hard floorboards left me with aching shoulders and hips. I wasn’t surprised to find Zeke gone, but I still puffed out my cheeks and sighed at the lonely little nest he had abandoned me in. I was thankful I had time to place the amulet in the lining of his jacket before all the passion spilled over. It made me feel a little better, knowing he had some protection out there in the world. Maybe I’m an idiot. Foolishly optimistic that I would not be in such danger again. Visions of Zeke being my knight in shining armour, had possibly got me carried away.I hauled the rope ladder up, wondering just how safe I really was if my screams had carried through the forest. Because I was seriously loud.Because it was so good. Unbelievable, forget-my-own-name good.Livi emerged, having been rather quiet during my time with Zeke.Silently pottering around, unpacking the food and drink I hold counsel with my inner wolf spirit. /Do you hate me for cheating on Phillipe?//I feel sorry f