I knew pregnancy was going to have a lot of ups and downs, but no one was really good at telling me what to expect. I was having large and small complications, not to mention continued insurance issues that I finally gave up on and took to Daddy. He swore he'd get it taken care of and that he'd gotten behind on payments while I was hospitalized. The next time we'd gone to Dr. Nesbit's office, Daddy told me it had all been handled, and when I called Megan, she confirmed that the bills were taken care of. I had come close to getting mastitis. One of my milk ducts became blocked, but it formed a cyst on the side of my breast instead, which eventually drained and left behind a painful mark that was deep enough to scar. And as the doctors had predicted, the further along I got, the more strain the additional weight put on my spine. Everything I'd been warned about plagued me, but it was the ongoing blood pressure issues that had raised the red flags and set off all the warning bell
"Charlie..." I tried to keep the panic out of my voice, but I could feel the sticky moisture on my thighs and under my bottom. My voice climbed with every passing second and syllable out of my mouth. "Charlie!" Charlie stirred in the bed next to me, but he hadn't fully woken up. I had my hand resting firmly on my stomach, but each wave of pain brought tears to my eyes. I didn't want to press too hard because it hurt, but as I cradled my belly in my hands, I worried that if I let go, my insides would come falling out. My head was pounding, I couldn't catch my breath, and I would have sworn someone had sliced me open and the babies were going to deliver themselves. The third time I called his name, Charlie's eyes fluttered open and then suddenly became alert. "What's wrong?" He sat up, now wild-eyed, searching my face and reaching for me. "Sarah?" He threw back the bedspread and then turned on the lamp. His ruffled hair fell into his face, and I noticed his cheek was re
The nurse had practically dragged me away as they prepped Sarah, for what I wasn't sure. Another woman joined the lady who'd pulled me away from my wife, but I only heard bits and pieces of what she had to say as she shoved paperwork at me. "Mr. Burin, I know this is a lot to take in, but the babies aren't going to wait. I need you to sign the forms." I nearly dropped the clipboard and pen as I tried to form a sentence. "Wait? What do you mean? Sarah's nowhere near her due date." By nowhere, I meant weeks...like eleven or twelve of them. The nurse who had pulled me away gave the one who'd joined us a sympathetic glance before she turned remorseful eyes to me. "An emergency C-section is the best hope for all of them." I couldn't swallow. My throat had completely closed, and I was struggling to even breathe. The worst that could have happened was happening, and I was stuck in the middle of it-alone. I stared at the paper in my hand and
There was a knock that startled me. There wasn't anyone in the NICU other than the nurses, and none of them spoke. It was the middle of the night, and the hospital was fairly quiet. This ward was dead silent. The babies didn't cry, and other than the machines that beeped or pulsed around me, there was nothing. I glanced over my shoulder to find the nurse who'd brought me up here, and the shine in her eyes wasn't nearly as bright as it had been when she'd asked me about meeting the girls. So I waited for her to speak. "Sarah's out of surgery. We'll be moving her to recovery shortly." I didn't know what to do. I couldn't take the twins with me, but I couldn't stand here, either. They were too little to be left alone, and I couldn't be in two places at one time. I glanced at the incubator and then back at the lady in scrubs, unsure of what the right decision was. "I think your family would like to see your little girls." She read my mind, and I wanted to h
Sarah was on the hospital bed, barely conscious. As soon as I saw her, the high I'd felt in my daughters' presence deflated. There was no color in her complexion, her hair was matted to her head, and she looked like she was one wrong move away from breaking in half. "She's lucky to be alive." The nurse tending to my wife gave me a tentative smile. She might be tenured at dealing with these situations, but I was far from a pro. "We lost her during the surgery." "What?" I understood the words she'd said, but I didn't get the full weight of what they meant in the context of my wife. "She's lucky you guys got her here when you did. Another couple of minutes and I don't want to speculate what might have happened." "You lost her?" My mind still hadn't grasped hold of that idea. The nurse nodded. "She flatlined." The woman stared down at Sarah like she knew her, and as if her still being here brought her personal satisfaction. "Right after Baby B wa
I didn't have any idea what he could possibly know that made him feel this sense of debt toward Sarah, but I had to imagine it had to do with her mama running off. It had changed the course of Sarah's teenage years and subsequently her life. "Jack..." I shook my head, determined to refuse his offer. "It's already been done, son. I'm just trying to give you the courtesy of tellin' you I did it." "How?" It wasn't like I couldn't undo whatever magic he'd worked in the billing department. The old man wasn't going to budge, that much was evident in his stern expression. Nor did he have any intention of sharing the details with me. "You're a new father." Jack wasn't telling me anything I didn't already know. "And I hope you never go through what I have. I don't want you to ever feel the hopelessness that I have, thinking that each time I walk out of a hospital room is the last time I'm going to see my daughter alive. It ain't a good place to be." I co
"Sarah." My name. But I wasn't being addressed. It took me a minute to come around, and I had to fight against the grogginess that wanted to keep me under. I blinked several times, trying to clear the cogs, but when I went to speak, my mouth was dry as a bone. Once I was able to focus, I noticed the number of people in the room. Daddy, Charlie's parents, Austin, and my husband. I watched them all as one by one, they turned toward me, and it finally caught Charlie's attention. He looked at our family and then back at me, and whatever unspoken words he shared with them caused them to exit with grim expressions. No. No, no, no, no. The machine monitoring my heart rate started to beep faster as my pulse ratcheted up. There was no way I'd gone through all of this and lost them, but the looks on their faces and the way Charlie now held my hand, left no room to believe anything else. I let my hand drift down my side and to my stomach. It was soft, un
Maneuvering to the NICU had been no simple feat, but I'd been determined to see my daughters as soon as humanly possible. I didn't care how much pain I was in, nor did I care what the doctor's thought about moving me. I wasn't guaranteed today or tomorrow, and there was no chance I'd risk not seeing them, talking to them, touching them. Personally, I thought the nurses conceded just to get me to shut up, and I didn't bother trying to hide my satisfaction when Charlie suggested they make it happen. He'd never seen me overbearing...until today. My mama claws came out sharp and fierce, and I'd protect those girls until my last breath. Even though I'd seen pictures, they didn't change the magic of the moment I first met my daughters. Peering in at their tiny little bodies, I, too, noticed all the things Charlie had said about their differences. It was the little things like the pulse of one versus the other, the skin tone, the way one breathed, the little bits of fuzz on their head