Jayden likely saw it as the moment for me to be spirited away to safety, but he didn’t have the first clue. There was already a plan in place; Lilia and I had been talking about it for years. I wouldn’t throw it all away on a maybe.
“I did them to myself.”
“Wha—Kai!” Jayden’s eyes widened incredulously at my statement, his disbelief all but commanding me to speak the truth.
The uniformed official sitting next to me was equally unconvinced. “Did you now?”
“I’m still a child with bouts of clumsiness and a moody teenage girl who wants to kill herself every time my boyfriend breaks up with me. What do you expect?” My mind was made up; the only thing left to do was follow through.
“It’s as I’ve told you.” Mom scooped me up into her arms, causing my muscles to tense despite my best efforts to appear at peace.
I hid my discomfort behind a mask of i
I was discharged from the hospital two days later and returned to the care of my mother. The doctor and nurses had had their reservations but there was little any of them could do. It was a song and dance that had gone on longer than any of them could imagine, one that wouldn’t be easily disrupted by newcomers to the stage.I lay in bed staring up at the ceiling, willing the hours to pass quickly so it would be morning and I would be able to return to school. After such a long absence, I found myself missing the droning voice of my history teacher and the unpleasant screech of the PA system before the morning announcements. No doubt, I’d missed out on many assignments as well and was eager to dive into them. The distraction would be good; it would spirit me away from the lingering threads of shame that r
I turned to find Jayden had made his way over. The taunting gleam in his eyes held specks of amusement carefully woven in. He grinned that boyish grin I’d been so sure I’d never see again as he leaned against my neighbour’s locker. His stance was casual, unbothered, and cheeky with his hands resting loosely in his pockets. Jayden nodded at both girls before setting his laughing eyes on me again.For the first few seconds, it didn’t seem my lips remembered how to form words—not that that mattered. My brain had shut down at his approach, everything scrambling to achieve damage control for the boy who pretended nothing was amiss. It seemed Jayden had joined the performance and was willing to return to the way things were before we’d spoken at the hospital.
At home, I found a dress laid out and waiting for me on my bed. The store’s tag still hung by its neck, assuring me it was neither stained nor torn in places that weren’t immediately apparent. It was made of the good material, the kind you didn’t worry would rip if you accidentally got caught against something, and the colour was a rich sapphire.I sat by the dress, marvelling at its design while I processed the fact that it was really mine. Lilia had always been a miracle worker. I hadn’t gotten a chance to tell her about the dance, but she’d found out somehow and had made sure I wouldn’t be unprepared.Matt parked himself in the doorway of my room, leaning against its frame while he too marv
Seeking to capitalise on student intrigue, Sydney did her part in spreading embellished utterances that further stirred the students. The girl appointed herself my crown manager and pledged to throw her all into ensuring the students knew they had a choice and could exercise their rights.Back home, I lay staring at the ceiling again. I didn’t have the concentration necessary for the mountain of assignments that had been waiting for me upon my return to school, but I had no other means of passing the time in my fortress of solitude.“Kai?” Matt stood before my half open door. He nudged it fully open then took a step inside. His visits were becoming frequent affairs, and while I had no authority to demand a reas
“I started my freshman year there. Adam was a senior; he thought I was cute. The first time we met, he pulled me under the bleachers by the track. He—” It was more difficult than I imagined it could be. This would be the first I’d spoken about it—any of it…with anyone. Hearing the words spoken aloud somehow made them more terrifying. I was transported back to the track, in the cool shade of the towering steps, with one hand on my cheek and his other crawling up my skirt. He’d been so gentle…until I said no.“I’d said no…but it didn’t matter. I cried for three weeks after but couldn’t let anyone see. After all, I was the ‘lucky freshman’ who’d caught his attention. Girls would’ve killed to be in my position&hellip
"Emi, slow down!"She wasn’t listening. All that concerned the two-year-old was running in circles around the small coffee table in the hopes I would continue the chase. Before leaving, Lilia had warned me she’d been a ball of energy all day and wasn’t likely to crash for a little while longer. I didn’t mind. I wasn’t put out by my daughter’s exuberance; her happiness didn’t cause me the kind of distress that mine invariably caused my own mother.Emily was beautiful in everything she did. Often, I marvelled at how I could bring such a perfect creature into this world after all the ugliness that resided inside me.I scooped her up when she ran by me again, too dizzy to watch her go another round. Emi burst into a fit of giggles, her feet kicking about as I suspended her from the ground. I blew raspberries into her cheek then flopped onto the couch with her in my lap. Big brown eyes smiled up at me with her now beginning t
That was it then.I wanted to be angry, to rage the way at least three of them expected I would, but I couldn’t. A soothing balm of numbness seeped into my bones, spreading out across my body so that all but the most extreme of feelings appeared as little more than a prickle along my skin. I supposed I should’ve felt betrayed—Jayden had promised me his vote, after all—but it was too difficult a feeling to muster. The fairytale had been too good to be true from its outset. Make a story too fantastical and the audience would have a hard time believing it.This was more in line with the reality I knew; it made the most sense to me and raised no alarms. There was an odd sort of comfort in the familiar, one that softened the blow to little more than a gentle breeze.“Why?” I asked. It was better to carry on the pretence, if only in small part. I was meant to care and that required asking questions when given such news regardless of
“You didn’t tell me another one of your little friends was stopping by,” Mom said, oblivious to the devil she’d allowed into our home. Perhaps she knew, perhaps that sort was attracted by others of a similar nature, and she knew by some sixth sense that Erin was there to ruin my evening.“I won’t be long, Mrs. Deneiro. Kai, can we talk for a sec?”No.“…sure.”I led her back to my room, the walk filled with frantic efforts to uncover what the girl had planned. Even more pressing was how she managed to get my address. Jonie was a resourceful girl who’d helped Jayden in the endeavour, but I doubted she shared any particular affinity for the girl that would provoke the same degree of helpfulness.“Good luck tonight,” I said, closing the door behind us. As was always the case, someone would need to be civil, and it would never be her.Erin wrinkled her nose as she too