Sometime later that night, we're both trying to pretend like everything's normal again."What would you like for dinner?" Alex asks me.I shrug. "I could eat anything.""I don't have much food here. But there are some nice places within walking distance.""What do you mean by ‘nice'?" I ask. I glance down at my T-shirt and jeans. "I'm not sure I brought the proper wardrobe for the restaurants you're used to. I don't suppose you'd be down for ordering a pizza? There must be some good pizza places around here.""Actually, I don't know," he says. "It's been a while since I've had pizza."I eye him suspiciously. "How long is ‘a while'?"He shrugs. "A year or two."I gape at him. "A year? How have you survived that long without pizza?""There are plenty of delicious places - ""Back in high school, I once saw you eat two large pizzas all by yourself. You love pizza. And now you're telling me that you haven't had pizza in a year? When you live in the pizza capital of the world?""
Alex looks at me expectantly. I feel like I need to say something."It's too late for me," I tell him. My hand stills on the guitar strings. "I mean...well, I've made my decision, and I'm fine with it now. I don't think I would have been suited to that sort of life anyway." My eyes drift around the room. "I'm not sure I could have done this.""This?"I gesture at the room around us. "Come to a big city all by myself. Lived in a place like this. Faced the great unknown. I mean, I went to college thirty miles from the town where I grew up. And moved back within a mile of my parents the moment I graduated. I can't imagine myself doing what you did. Not everyone is that brave."His eyes search mine, but I can't tell what he's thinking. I used to always know what he was thinking, but not anymore."You're brave too, Mae," he says finally.I snort a laugh. "Not this kind of brave." I mean, the main reason I'm even here right now is that I'm not brave enough to face the people back home.
The tension stretches between us, strange and thick. Abruptly, Alex stands up."I was thinking I might shower while we're waiting for the pizza," he says. "You're welcome to use the guest bath if you'd like.""Thanks," I say, both stunned by and a little grateful for the sudden end of our conversation.Alex goes to his room, and a few minutes later, I hear the shower come on.So much for pretending that everything's fine, I think. One minute we're the best of friends, and the next, everything gets weird again.I should probably shower, too. The drive here took only a few hours, but I still have a bit of road trip stink on me. Before I clean up, though, I need to call my parents. I promised I'd check in when I got to New York safely.I reach into my pocket for my phone, but there's nothing there.Hm. I could have sworn it was in my pocket. I set my guitar aside and go over to my purse, but my cell isn't in there either.I frown, scanning the apartment. Have I used my phone since
For a moment, neither Alex nor I move. I think we're both too stunned - and I'm still gasping for breath. When I begin to feel the pain in my side, though, I twist, and that only makes things worse. I end up on my back, with him still on top of me.Instantly, thoughts of the Night That Shall Never Be Mentioned - which, I suppose, should now be called the Night We Had to Talk About but I'd Like to Forget Now - come rushing back. He was on top of me just like this. His muscles were pressed against me just like this. His breath washed across my cheek just like this.On that night, though, at least he was wearing boxers and an undershirt. Now he's only wearing a towel, a fact that I'm all too aware of. My hands are braced against his damp chest, his skin smooth over the hardness of his muscles. I can feel his heart thumping madly beneath my fingertips.He's staring at me, still looking a little shocked and confused by my appearance outside of his bathroom door, and I realize that I owe
I dart back into the living room and over to the elevator. Next to the doors is a panel with several buttons on it, including one that's flashing and says "Entry" above it. I hit the button, and a moment later I hear the elevator moving, bringing the pizza guy up to us.Not even an hour ago, I was excited about trying some authentic New York pizza. Now, though, I can't even think about food.I saw Alex naked. Felt him naked. Wanted him to stay on top of me and - No. I am not thinking about this.I'm still so stunned by the whole thing that when the elevator doors open, I stare at the pizza guy for a full minute, unable to form a sentence."I, uh, have your pizzas," the guy says. "That'll be thirty-seven sixty."Right - money. I need to find my purse. Need to pay for the pizzas. Need to do anything but think about my best friend's penis.I spin around, trying to remember where I left my purse. But before I can move, Alex emerges from his room, dressed in a T-shirt and jeans with
That night, unsurprisingly, I find it impossible to sleep. I finally drift off just as the sun is rising, and I don't wake up again until sometime late in the afternoon.Way to waste your first day in New York, I think. I quickly get dressed and head out into the living room, only to find myself alone in the apartment.There's a note from Alex on the fridge:I have a full schedule today, so I probably won't be home until late. Feel free to help yourself to anything in the fridge. If you want to explore, Victor can provide you with some maps and suggestions.Best,AlexGreat - I slept the whole first day away and Alex is avoiding me. My big New York adventure is off to a great start.I heat up some leftover pizza and try to figure out a game plan - anything to take my mind off of what a mess I've made of things. I do end up going downstairs to talk to Victor, but in the end, I decide to save my explorations of the city until tomorrow so I can make a fresh start of things. I use o
In the kitchen, I find a cup in one of the cabinets. I don't dare use the ice dispenser on the door - far too noisy - and instead open the freezer and reach right into the ice machine itself. I grab several ice cubes, dump them in my glass, and quickly close the freezer.Then nearly drop them, because suddenly there's a figure beside me. Alex.He looks just as surprised to see me out here as I do him."Is everything okay?" he asks. "Did you need something?"The first thing I notice in the dim light is that he isn't wearing a shirt. I don't look lower to see if he's wearing pajama bottoms, or at least boxers - it's far too risky, and I'm not sure how I'd react if I found out he slept nude. And then I remember that he asked me a question.Which, I realize as my fingers tighten on the glass in my hand, I can't possibly answer honestly."I...just needed some ice," I say. To help turn me on. So I can touch myself. Oh, God, this is the worst."For your head?" he asks. "Did you need an
I reach up, bringing my hand to Alex's face. It only takes a moment for me to find the bump on his forehead, and though he doesn't make a sound when my fingers brush against it, I feel him stiffen, so I know he must be experiencing some pain as well."Your lump is pretty big," I say, "but I still think mine is bigger.""On the contrary, I think mine is." His finger traces the edge of my bump. "You definitely have the harder head.""What are the symptoms of a concussion again?""I don't know," he says. "Maybe we should look that up.""Well, if anyone asks, you were already a bit wonky in the head."He laughs. "Me? I could tell them some stories about you - ""Hey," I say. "You better not be talking about anything we put in the friendship vault of silence.""I wouldn't dream of it."His fingers are still against my forehead. And mine, somehow, are still against his. We're standing close enough that I have to tilt my head back to look at him, which only reminds me of how tall he