SEVEN

When Ava asked Grayson to come over for some sex, she couldn't believe what she had just done. He felt so good because it had been so long since she had been touched. Even though it wasn't the best choice, he went ahead and made it.

She reached out and took his hand, then led him into the house.

Everything made her feel bad about herself all of a sudden. About the toys that are all over the floor, the old furniture, and how old she is as a person. She didn't have polish on her fingernails, her hair was a mess, and she hadn't shaved her legs since... well, she didn't even want to think about how long it had been.

Not to mention taking care of the woman's garden.

Most likely, dust was all over it.

What did she think at that moment?

In Santorini, the package included sand and sea, hot days and even hotter nights, the guy who had blown her mind, and her clit. She had been thinking the exact same thing.

At this point, Ava didn't know what to do. She had been able to get him inside. She had an odd wish for him to grab her, kiss her passionately, and then bend her over the sofa.

Easy-peasy. Still, she didn't want that for herself in the long run. She wanted to be on her own and have the freedom to choose. So, she had no choice but to stand up for herself and ask for what she wanted.

It looked like he did know. Grayson ran his hand through her hair and fiddled with the strands with his fingers. "I'm scared too."

"You don't appear like it." She was about to deny what he said or say he was wrong, but in the end she agreed that he was right. It didn't matter who said it, that was condescending.

Since I went to Santorini, I haven't been with anyone.

It wasn't something that should have made her happy, but it did. "Me either."

He got close to her and lightly kissed her lips as he did so. It was no longer important all of a sudden. That didn't change anything. Not the toys that were all over the floor, not her furniture, and not even the lady garden she was taking care of. That didn't matter; compared to the tension between them, it was just background noise. She felt like she should remember what had happened, but she just couldn't put her finger on it.

Grayson changed the way she thought about everything. He smelled like a mix of expensive cologne and the bitter cold. The way he filled the room with his presence, the way his muscles rippled under her fingers, the flood of memories of Santorini and how their naked bodies worked together to reach a peak, and the way he made her feel about herself were all important.

She was the most beautiful woman in the whole wide world.

How important her role was.

The fact that each person felt like a person who mattered was much more important than their amazing connection.

A feeling of guilt came up. Everyone expects her to be at Aphelion with her child. She was lonely and wanted to find someone to sleep with quickly, but she couldn't find anyone here.

The thought that came into her head was harsh and cold.

As usual, Grayson seemed to completely understand what she was thinking. "Well, if you don't want this, we can stop it. You can still want it. It's okay to have a separate identity from being a mother."

"How do you know what I'm thinking all the time? How was it  possible?"

"Mate privilege." He brushed his face against hers, and it almost looked like he was trying to leave his scent on her. Like a wolf.

"I'm afraid I can't be your mate. I'm human." She didn't know if the feelings she was having were those of excitement or fear, or if they were a mix of the two.

"I'm the wolf between us, honey. I know who my mate is." He smiled at her from above.

"Then why didn't you know that in Santorini?" This was too good to be true.

When she showed up with his son, he knew right away that she was his wife. Whatever. Except that the thought made her feel cold guilt run down her back. Graham may have lied about his name, but if she had been in his place, she would have done the same. He had always been kind and quiet, almost like a dream.

It was there. What was making her doubtful. A Grayson Redwood seemed like a dream.

"Because we still weren't ready. I was still a young wolf who was still learning what it meant to be Beta to my brother and to my pack. If that happened, I wouldn't have been a good friend to you."

"What gives you the idea that you've changed?"

"Are you the same person you used to be?"

She turned red. No, she was still a million miles from where she wanted to be and a million miles from who she was five years ago.

"Most likely not."

"Are you going to judge me more harshly than you judge yourself?"

She put her fingers on his shoulders and moved them around. She liked the way he felt and didn't want to let go. “Maybe.”

He made a grin with his mouth. "All right. I'm okay with it. What do you think?"

She had a low-lying desire. "What can I do?" She put her chin up. "May I takei t?" Lord, when she said it that way, it sounded awful. From the way he looked at me, I knew that was what he meant.

She made up her mind right then that this would happen. “Yeah. I can.”

He seemed to be able to smell her thoughts, or maybe it was her desire. The way he looked at her made her feel like prey, but she couldn't think of anything better. She took a deep breath and fought the sudden urge to run, not because she was scared.

Because she wanted him to go after her and catch her.

These ideas were so strange and different. Not even close to her own.

She moved away from him, and he turned his head to the side, as if he knew what she was going to do.

"Seriously?" His smile got bigger, showing off all of his beautiful, white teeth.

She chewed on it. “Really.”

Ava ran into the bedroom, but he was right behind her, pouncing on her and pushing her down into the unmade bed. She smiled.

"That was just teasing."

"I like teasing you."

"Do you?" His eyes had turned amber, and that reminded him of everything. She was reminded of who he was and how easy it was for him to hurt her.

Even though she didn't think he would hurt her, she couldn't help but run away.

He shut his eyes and moved away from her. "Ava, I can't change who I am."

"I know." She inhaled deeply. "But I like who I think you are, so what you are must be a part of that, right?" Ava didn't know if she was trying to persuade herself or him.

"Who do you suppose I am?"

"Hey, you have to give me a break just like I have to give you one. Before today, I didn't even know your real name."

"I suppose that makes sense."

She said in a quiet voice, "But I want this." "I want to touch you and feel the way I felt in Santorini."

"Who knows if there will ever be anything like Santorini? It was like a storybook. Something magical."

She said, "The way you touched me made me feel like I was the most beautiful thing you'd ever seen."

"You are."

She laughed. "I don't think so."

"Will you let me show you?" He asked as if the answer couldn't be or wouldn't be "no."

Ava couldn't think of a woman who would say no to an afternoon with Grayson Redwood and was still alive. Golden eyes or not. They were also quite pretty. She thought, probably wrongly, that the hunter in him also thought she was pretty.

Wasn't a beast just a beast?

But Grayson had always been a perfect gentleman, and her son wasn't a wild animal.

Grayson wasn't the person she was scared of running into in a dark alley—it was her own ex-husband. She wasn't going to pass up this chance, even though she didn't really know what he was.

Ava could try to trust him now that she has a chance. Only a little bit.

"Tell me."

He got her naked so quickly that she didn't even notice. All of her worries and doubts flooded back into her mind and took her out of the moment.

But when she looked up at him and saw how he looked at her, she knew it was a lie. Didn't it?

It had nothing to do with how he had looked at her in Santorini. He had looked at her like she was a work of art in Santorini. He looked at her like this? It seemed like she was the only woman in the world. She felt like he was completely focused on her and that he was her body and soul.

Ava couldn't figure out how to think about something like that.

"Why are you looking at me that way?"

"Like you're my mate? Like you're the only woman I'll ever want to look at again? Like you're the only living thing I want to enjoy? Because you are."

She didn't believe him when she thought about it logically, but when he spoke, she couldn't help but believe him when she looked into his eyes. When they looked at each other, she couldn't get away from him, and she didn't want to. Ava wanted to let him pull her down, so she could fall back into the ocean of him like raindrops.

She didn't want to leave this moment. She wanted to feel beautiful all the time.

Wanted.

Safe.

But as soon as she let herself enjoy it, it was gone.

In the back of her mind, she heard the sound of a broken lock without a key. Behind that lock and chains, a monster you can't even imagine woke up and was hungry. There were black tentacles reaching out to her mind...

Ava blinked as shadows began to circle her.

For a moment, a writhing beast stood in place of Grayson. Not the beast he showed her when he was guarding their son, but something else.

Darker. Twisted. Then it disappeared.

Only Grayson was there.

The man who felt like a monster.

"Ava, what's wrong?" He put his hand on her cheek.

His hand was real and warm. It was solid and made of flesh. His touch was always soft, and his voice was always full of care. They were no longer attracted to each other, and all she could think about was running away.

But she was smart enough not to run. He would chase her if she ran away. They liked chasing... A memory that had been just out of reach came close to her mind and then flew away.

“Nothing.” She gulped down hard. Grayson wasn't a monster, she knew. He was not bad. He'd never hurt her. Does he?

"Your worry stinks." He put his hand down and shut his eyes. "Tell me what to do!"

"I'm not sure." All of Ava's wants were gone. Only the monster was there in its place. She knew Grayson wouldn't hurt her because it made sense. But she had a very strong instinct that made her ignore all reason.

When he opened his eyes again, they were a soft, glowing ember. At the same time, it is both beautiful and awful.

She couldn't look at him, so she looked down at the floor. She felt fear cutting through her.

"He comes up to help you. I wish I could get that across to you." His voice was low and gravelly because he was an animal.

She mumbled, "I do."

"I'll go."

Even Ava couldn't stand it. She didn't want to see him go. She was so confused about who she was. Part of her needed him to be close to her and wanted him to touch her in all the ways he had on Santorini. Wanting to dump all of her problems on him, especially since he had asked for them. He had promised to look out for her. Safety. Forever. Only the other part of her knew how to be afraid. Was scared. "Stay here. Not this way."

"Ava, I'm not sure what you want from me. You're scared of me being close, but you don't want me to go away. If I keep smelling your fear, my beast will come out to protect you. That will only make us more different."

He wrapped a blanket around her when she was naked, and even though he made her scared, he also made her feel better. None of this made sense to her. She might have needed therapy more than she thought before.

"But even when you touch me, I still want you. I don't know why I feel the way I do about you."

"I can also still smell that. But I won't touch you even though I want to. It makes me sick that you are afraid of me."

"It isn't you." She moved closer to him.

"The werewolf did it. I understand that, but so am I."

"I know. I apologize." The moment was spoiled by regret.

"You're not to blame, Ava." He leaned over and put his chin on top of her head. "That jerk Breslin did it. Maybe it was a good idea to come to Aphelion. If you're this scared, everyone will always be on high alert, ready to change at any time to get rid of the danger."

“Everyone?”

I told her, "As the mother of the Redwood heir, you will be given a place of honor and respect, just like I told you I would." No one at Aphelion would be unwilling to give their life for you and our child.

She hugged him tighter and took a few deep breaths at the same time. "Knowing that can help a little bit. If the thing under the bed scares me, maybe it will also scare away the people who want to hurt me.

"It will kill all of your enemies. I swear on my honor."

She focused by squeezing her lips together. "I truly apologize." The words couldn't say everything that was going on in her mind at that moment. She felt bad about letting herself be scared. She felt awful that she had let him in and then kicked him out. She said that she was sad that they would never be able to go back to Santorini to the time when their lives were easier.

"There's no need to feel bad about it. Just promise me that even if you don't want my protection for yourself, you'll let me take care of our child.

Ava was worried about what that meant, but she couldn't say no. Grayson didn't make her feel the most scared. Instead, it was Peter. No matter if the other kids were monsters or not, Elijah was Grayson's son. Grayson would look out for him in a way that Ava could never do.

"I promise."

"I totally get why you don't want to go to Aphelion. I've met a lot of people, and you're the only one who seems as scared as you do. It hurts me so much to see you in such a bad way. So, it looks like you might be right. I can bring Elijah back to your house later if that's what you want.”

She moved away and had to force herself to look up into his eyes that were too much like her own. It hurts there. The stress. Even the fear picked at the scars she didn't know she had like a sharp little blade. Elijah's desire to have a place to call home and a family. For a parent. Strong roots. She knew she couldn't give him the safety on her own. Not like being with people like him.

"I'll come. Since you were also right. Elijah needs to be with other people like him, and I would never put him in a cage. I'd never do that to him to break his spirit. Lenore told me it wasn't fair to deny him his birthright, and she's right.

"Lenore is often correct. She is a lucky aunt for my son."

"I never thought a werewolf would say something like that about Lenore. She wrapped the blanket tighter around herself.

"She is an important part of our lives. I'm afraid there are more bad hunters than good hunters these days. This new breed doesn't care much about the old rules. But Lenore? She is a good person. I'll admit that it takes a lot more courage to stick to the old ways than to be like her mother and brother. I can see that her scars are deep and still bleed. But she doesn't stop because of that. Elijah can learn a lot from her."

"Earlier, when they were playing, I thought it was kind of magical that he could play with her without holding back. That he could be himself around her and no one would get hurt."

"How old was he when he changed for the first time? Do you have photos that I can copy?"

Something was strange about her. She paused. "You know..." "I didn't try to stop you from seeing him."

"Yes, Ava, I know that. I shouldn't have lied about my name. "I made a mistake there."

"But if you had, I don't think we would have spent that time together. I would have gone the other way so fast. The Big and Scary Redwoods... Or maybe we would've. What an insult to Peter's intelligence." She had a quiet laugh.

"More like a dick." He shook his head and laughed. "I'm going back to Aphelion," he said. Before Elijah has to go home, I want to spend some time with him."

“I… I'll come along. I do want to meet Elijah's other relatives."

"They are now part of your family, too. Whether or not you want us."

She laughed in a weak way. "I guess that's how most families are. Do you really think they'd want me there?"

Ava didn't like how needy she came across. How uncertain she was. Peter always made her feel that way. Like no one but him could ever want her. What a bother she was. She did everything wrong.

"When I told Kyle about you and Elijah, the first thing he asked me was when you were moving in."

"The first one?" She watched him.

"Well, that might not be the first." He grinned. "We have more money than Midas, which is always a worry. But he doesn't want you to leave. We all want Elijah and you to be there."

"I'll come today. I won't make any promises, but I'll let you take care of him and be his father."

"Thank you, Ava."

She felt terrible when she saw how grateful he was. He shouldn't have to ask for permission to take care of his child.

"Thank you for being clear." She chewed on it. "Let me put on my clothes, and then we can go. While we're there, maybe I can talk to your Mrs. Westwood."

She might be able to figure out why Ava did what she did. Part of her thought it was post-traumatic stress disorder from Peter, but something told her it was more than that. Something even scarier than the beast she was afraid of, and Ava couldn't hide any longer.

She had a son to take care of and a life to live, and she wasn't going to let anyone or anything get in her way.