I have no clue what has come over Cayden. He can usually take my temper quite easily. Though today I think I perhaps was a little harsher than usual. No, I know I was. Maybe my words overstepped a mark. There was no reason to bring Lily into this. I know the pain he went through. I went through it with him. I will need to find him later to apologise, I think. He did not deserve my bitterness. My temper in that moment, yet I could not hold my words back. I could sense his anger, not only his, but that of his wolf too, but he was holding it back. He was struggling, battling it. I knew that, but he was managing, just. I assume that was why he was rushing out, or perhaps that was simply because he could not bear to be around me? And, in all honesty, I don’t think I could blame him. My words were close to unforgiveable. Holding back his rage was different for him. He was such a sweet, and caring guy as a whole, but his temper was like a switch, that once triggered there w
The Alpha seems to have gone quiet. A pained look on his face. His hand now gone from around my shoulder, in what I had assumed was a show of kindness. His fist however, now clenched by his side. Perhaps I should not have mentioned his mate. But he was giving me sympathy. Something I hated. Something that seemed to be a natural thing when people heard of my Dad. It was human nature after all. But I detested it. It simply reminded me he was gone. Reminded me of this incessant war, that was completely needless. And the sick and twisted man behind it all. He was the man I blamed for the death of my father, not the war. But I did not want sympathy. Sympathy meant people felt sorry for me. I did not like people feeling sorry for me. I just wanted the sick bastard to pay for his cruel acts. See he got the retribution he deserved before he died, and then once more in hell, because no doubt that was where he was bound. But, then there was me, offering the same sympathies to t
After rushing out of the library I had made my way to the door of the packhouse. My wolf, Kali was already pushing to the surface of my skin. He had had enough. Needed a break. Wanted to get out and go for a run. Who can blame him after the words of our so called best friend? Our Alpha? I was already struggling with the confusing feelings I was battling toward this young new she-wolf that had suddenly appeared into our lives. And the overwhelming sense of guilt these feelings brought with them. I had no clue what they all meant. But there was something about Evelyn Anderson that I could not shake. I could not get her from my mind and I felt drawn to her. I flung the doors of the packhouse open, Kali lingering at the surface under my skin, I could feel him, he was pushing to shift and would be forcing it if I did not go to shift soon. I need to go for a run. The morning sunshine was still bright and warm as I walked down the steps of the packhouse, heading toward the
We sit at the desk of the small office, all modernly decorated, a window looking out over the gardens of the packhouse lets me see the beautiful flowers they have growing there, only enhanced by the sunshine currently shining brightly. Working here would be enjoyable. As i take in the view of the office, I am sure I can feel Alpha Jackson's eyes on me. Alpha Jackson had informed me this would be the office I worked from, just down the corridor from his and Beta Cayden’s offices if I should need them. He had provided me with the necessary logins for all their systems and shown me the computer I had been provided with. I honestly cannot wait to begin working properly. Show them what I am capable of doing. Help them get their business and pack under better organisation. Jackson sat and spoke me through a few formalities of my role and handed me some official documents I would have to read. Bedtime reading for me later, no doubt. But I genuinely did not mind. I had done it, I ha
So we got Evelyn set up to use the computers, logged into all the relevant systems and suddenly she was ushering us out of the office to allow her to work. Not something we were expecting. We had planned to give her a little induction to her work today, then a bit of training and an introduction to the pack. She will need to be familiar with our pack as she is going to be spending a large amount of time here now with this new commitment she has in the job. I had been looking forward to showing her around my pack. But instead I find myself wandering down the short distance of the corridor to my office instead. Cayden by my side. He looked as fed up as I felt. As Evelyn calls to us “I will come and find you once I have done some of the work. Let you see it, and see what you think.” And with that she shut her office door. She sounded so cheerful. Happy to be working. Or was she happy to have got rid of Cayden and I after we caused somewhat of an atmosphere in the office?
I could see Jackson was not going to battle this one out. No doubt sensing that Kali was lingering. He knew me too well. Over the years we had battled so many times because Kali had took over. I had better control of my wolf as I got older, but sometimes when my emotions got the better of me or him, or in many cases my temper, then it became difficult to keep him under control. Though Jackson was sat on his chair behind his office desk, like a fucking king on his throne, glaring at me like he waited for an answer in his question to whether he had been right to his assumption if I had been flirting. Did it fucking matter? I didn’t even know if I had! So how am I meant to answer? I had been trying to put her at ease was all… Seeing her smile makes me feel good… I do not want Jackson wanting her… Wait… where the hell did that thought come from?! It was true though. The thought of Jackson being with her made my skin crawl. I wanted to be the one making her smile. How child
Cayden is standing up from the sofa. He looks ready to leave. Like he had lost the fight within him. Which is not like him at all. Though he was saying he didn’t want to talk about all of this. He is feeling the same things toward this new she-wolf as me? The irony is almost painful. “Cay, you alright?” I ask, standing from my desk. “Sure.” He shrugs. Yeah, he does not want to talk about it all. He forgets I know him almost as well as I know myself, I know he is struggling to work all of this out. He is battling emotions here. Guilt being a huge one, the same as me. And no doubt my words earlier will have made that worse. “We will sort something I am sure.” I tell him. Cayden frowns at me, “Oh yeah, right.” I am just about to ask what he is implying when there is a gentle knock at the door. Before it opens, slowly, almost tentatively. “Hi” Evelyn’s head leans around the door, her long blond hair falling over her shoulder as she does. She is sm
We walk down the steps of the packhouse, the sun feeling warm on my back. The two of them are laughing and joking together and I feel so at home it is unreal. I feel welcome here. Comfortable. A sense of belonging, despite this not being my pack. This is the Alpha and Beta of a neighbouring pack, if anything I should be intimidated by them, but I feel relaxed now in their company. At ease. They are clearly close, though I would expect no less of an Alpha and a Beta, they work alongside to run a pack, they need to be close. But these two seem to have a connection closer than that. Perhaps losing their mates the way they did brought them closer together? But they are clearly best friends, and listening to their tales of being friends makes me laugh. “Come on then love, let us go and show you our kingdom” Beta Cayden jokes. “Hey, that was my line!” Alpha Jackson pushes him gently. I laugh once more. Glad that the earlier tension between the two of them seemed to have e