“Be cool, Auden,” he murmurs to himself, resisting the urge to sprint for the guard house by the lake and shout for the guards to get the hell out of it.But no. There is no rush – no need to hurry any of this. So he forces himself to take measured steps across the snow and then up the short set of stone stairs to the door. When he opens it, the guards inside turn to him and freeze in surprise.“Out,” Auden says, nodding towards the still-open door.The guards just stare at him.“You have the night off,” Auden continues, making himself wear the mantle of command that he always assumes when commanding his troops. “I’ll take over from here. Go,” he says, jerking his chin towards the door. “Shift, run back to the castle. There’s still plenty of time to enjoy the festivities.”While the Alphas have their own party, Midwinter is for everyone. The Betas, Gammas, and Deltas who aren’t working have their festivities downstairs. A few Betas stand up eagerly, ready to go, but still others move
I flinch away from Auden as he reaches for me, as memories of that night five years ago come suddenly flooding back -It, too, was a night that started on an open-air terrace with Auden offering me wine –And then, a little guard shack in the woods, when we shared a drink by the fire, and Auden reached for me, just as he’s doing now -My breath comes short in my throat as his hand moves for me -But his palm lands soft on my shoulder, not on my waist. He leaves it there a moment before squeezing, his skin warm against mine. “I’m sorry, Everleigh,” he says quietly, his eyes sad. “I was upset –“I gape up at him like a stupid fish for a moment before I force myself to blink, to come back to this moment –Because, of course, of course it’s just me imagining things, flashing back to the memories of a night that Auden doesn’t even know existed -“No,” I say, finding my shaky voice and taking a step closer to him. “I mean – yes – I accept your apology – but I was unfair too. I’m sorry, Aud
Auden stares at the floor for a moment, not really knowing how to answer Everleigh’s question. Because he is shaken up by what happened last night – more than he wants to admit. Not so much his father’s violence – that he’s seen before.But her response to it – and…And how right she was, asking that question about whether his violence was part of his nature or just something he’s chosen to believe his whole life because it’s easier.God, he’d been up half the night turning it over in his mind.“Auden?” she asks, and he clenches his jaw, realizing that he’s been staring at the floor for too long.“I’m all right,” he says, raising his eyes and meeting hers, willing her to believe it. Because he is, really – he’s been shaken up before, he’ll be shaken up again. But what matters is that he’s…steady. That he’ll hold it together, for the kingdom, for the children…For her, if she’ll let him.But the way she stares at him now, her hands in fists at her side…He sighs, not knowing…what he wa
I don’t let myself hesitate, though. It won’t be good for Mahl to see me as someone who is trying to work around him, picking the best answer.I want to present to him what he thinks the perfect Luna and queen should be: simple, pure – generous of spirit and always, always supporting her Alpha’s choices, whatever they may be.Complete bullshit, of course – but a role I’m well accustomed to playing. I’ve been doing it most of my life.“I think,” I say, looking down at my plate and picking up a fork, poking around at a few pieces of melon. “That you are sorry for scaring me a little last night. Which you did.”“I am sorry, little wife,” he murmurs, leaning forward, his voice soft. I turn my face back towards him, letting him see a little sadness there. “Tell me,” he urges. “What did you think of it?”“I think it was more violent than I’m used to, but I think the man deserved to die,” I lie softly. “I think the people saw that you take a hard line when it comes to your family, the things
My mouth goes a little dry as I panic –Because this is absolutely what I did not want –I do not want, in any way, Mahl drawing lines between Auden and me. Perhaps if enough time passes I can pretend that our friendship and my relationship with the children grew naturally over time –But it looks like that plan has been neatly foiled, doesn’t it?Working hard to not let my panic show, I force a smile onto my face and take a step toward the King without any idea what the hell I’m going to say.But Vivi – thank goodness – saves me.“Grandpapa!” she shouts, dashing away from the gigantic horse and throwing herself at her equally gigantic grandfather, Coco flapping to keep his balance on her shoulder. Vivi wraps her arms around Mahl’s leg and beams up at him while Niall works to hide behind me, still afraid. “Make daddy let me have the horse! He says it’s too big, but it’s not!”Mahl laughs down at Vivi and then bends to scoop her up into his arms. “Really?” Mahl says, considering Vivi c
“I was surprised to find you here,” Mahl says softly, his heavy arm still wrapped around my shoulder as we walk back to the palace. “I had heard Auden ordered horses to be brought and assumed he was selecting for the Betas. I hadn’t expected the children, but your presence was the true surprise.” “I met them in the hall in the children’s wing,” I say casually, which was not a lie. I don’t bother to mention that I went to the children’s wing looking for them. “Vivianna mentioned they were choosing horses; Auden invited me along.” “You know,” Mahl says, pitching his voice low and raising a hand to hook a finger beneath my chin. “If you like children that much, we can give you one of your own.” I blush then, genuinely. Because the last thing I want, honestly, is to give Vivi and Niall a new sibling that’s both brother and uncle. And I do not want, at all, to participate in any activities that would allow me to get pregnant with that child. Mahl laughs at what he perceives to be my co
Mahl laughs a little. “Now you know all our secrets,” he murmurs to me. “Though we’d appreciate it if you kept this one discreet.”I tear my eyes from the fascinating women who have entered the room, not bothering to point out to Mahl the irony of what he just said – because, of course, I am a Luna, or am about to be. What sort of secrets will he be keeping from me?But, well. I guess I’m not one to talk.The women who enter the room now are people who have no rank at all, or are Deltas at best, and I find myself utterly fascinated by them. These women who mingle with the most powerful men in the kingdom - what on earth are their lives really like?The courtesans quickly make themselves at home, many moving to the sides of their favorite Alphas who greet them warmly and wrap arms around their waists. Some courtesans, I note, decline to make the first move, instead settling themselves mysteriously by the fire or on couches, waiting to be approached.My eyes brighten in particular when
I step inside the tiny garden nook that’s lit only by firefly glow, admiring the white roses that climb all over the walls. I lower my face to a bloom, admiring its thick spicy scent, completely distracted as my fingers drift over the silky petals. So I don’t notice the shadow that blocks my only exit until I hear his growl behind me. I twist, surprised – And my stomach drops when I see the gigantic Alpha standing a few feet away. Six and a half feet tall, he’s built like he’s made from granite, with wide, muscular shoulders above a powerful form. The beauty of his brutal face is marred by a scar that passes through his left eyebrow, continuing down his cheek to disappear into his thick beard. That flaw in no way takes away from the raw power emanating from this Alpha, who is as much beast as he is man. He levels a dangerous glare at me, prowling forward into the light that glints off of the finely wrought golden crown that sits on his head, tangling in the wild hair that falls to