Sydney
The sun hasn’t risen yet when a peel of anguished cries thunders down the hallway. Brie’s image flashes in my mind–Brie being held to that altar while Gabriel taunts me, taunts her–and I’m out of bed in a second.
My heart hammers against my ribs to the point I find it hard to fill my lungs with air. The entire room spins, and I can barely get my bearings.
But then I remember where I am. The deep navy wallpaper and dark wood crown molding comes into view as gray, early morning sunlight ghosts through the silken curtains.
I slowly sit on the edge of my bed and lower my face into my hands.
It was just a dream. Another nightmare. Everything is fine. Brie is safe with her parents in Veiled Valley. Everyone is safe and secure.
Another faint cry sounds from down the hallway, and I’m up again, sprinting through the near silent second floor toward the source of the sound
SarahIn the end, it isn’t the Alpha of Shadowcrest darkening my doorway with breakfast.Cosette comes into the sitting room, beaming, her arms full of clothes in colorful fabrics. Within a few minutes, I’m dressed in a perfectly tailored pair of comfortable khaki trousers and a shirt made of light pink cotton, and I’m sitting at the kitchen table, surrounded by an endless amount of food once again.Cosette rambles about the clothing she ordered yesterday that some poor seamstress in Shadowcrest likely worked on all night to have ready so soon. When she offers me coffee, I shake my head, and she’s delighted when I ask for a cup of tea like she made for me last night.Dalia sits in a sunny, frost covered window with my son in her arms, letting him curl his tiny fingers around her impossibly small pinky.I remind myself how young Dalia is despite her expertise in newborns and allow myself
SydneyThe inside of the cottage smells strongly of paint. I watch Sarah move through the first two rooms anyway, keeping out of her way and staying in the snug hallway right off the front door where a small kitchen sits on one side and the living room on the other. Sarah moves lightly from room to room, opening doors and closing them again. Her face is unreadable, blank, and those eyes are a stunning pale lavender, which is my only hint that she's happy. I watch her closely, unable to stop myself from noticing the way her fingertips graze over the worn, faded wallpaper in the bathroom at the very end of the hall, like she’s marking each swipe of color and texture with her touch. I might have overstepped. Her expression cracks, her eyes going dark and watery, and she looks over her shoulder at me. “Are you sure about this?” She tucks her hands in the pockets of her jacket, my jacket, which brushes her ankles and hangs off her slim shoulders. “I am.”“Why?”That word holds so much
SarahThe atrium is on the smaller side, built onto the far back side of Sydney’s manor. Snow glides off the domed glass ceiling, falling in giant piles along the exterior glass walls.Beyond the glass, the world is cast in silver as the clouds choke the sun and cloak Shadowcrest in darkness.Cosette was right about a storm coming. Wind rattles the walls of the atrium as I walk through the maze of plants planted directly into the ground, where a stone path gives way to patches of raw dirt and soil. Blake is fast asleep in a sling against my chest, my shirt clutched in his tiny fist.“Does Sydney take care of these plants?” I ask, running my fingers over massive leaves belonging to tropical plants that definitely wouldn’t survive, even in this humid, deliciously hot atrium, without delicate care.“Oh, Goddess no,” Cosette snorts, shaking her head. We meet up again, having take
SydneyIt’s 4:00 AM when I finally roll off my bed, wondering where the hell I am and how I lost an entire day. My body feels light as air as I walk downstairs in the dark in search of a drink of water, maybe even a cup of coffee, and find that I’m not alone.Cosette sits at the kitchen table–an informal setting with four chairs–and looks up at me as I shield my eyes from the sudden onslaught of light.“You survived,” she smirks, straightening up and shifting her weight to face me.“You should have woken me up yesterday afternoon,” I grumble, leaning against the kitchen island. I run my hand over my face, pinching the bridge of my nose as my body slowly comes back to reality.“I wouldn’t dream of it,” she says, clicking her tongue. “There’s a bag of potato chips and some fresh coffee waiting for you.”“Salt and caff
SarahI feel alive again for the first time in… well, I don’t know how long. My fingers are stained with juices from the stems and petals of the hundreds, if not thousands, of blooms I’ve been working with all morning, and the air is heavily scented; reminiscent of a fine, hot, summer day. I’m nearly done with the centerpieces. I doubt I’ll be allowed to actually go to the event to set up, so I’ve been arranging them in large glass vases myself while Cosette takes stock of every finished piece so far. Blake lays in the middle of the madness on a blanket, squirming, and lifting his little fists in the air. We’ve been taking turns all day with him, and it’s probably a good thing he doesn’t do much but eat, sleep, and need his diaper changed right now. I’ve never been this busy before, but the deadline is tomorrow morning. I can’t stop for a break even if I wanted to.Tomorrow night, the queen of freaking Crescent Falls will be holding her fancy party surrounded by my art. My stomach
SarahI wake up in my bed to bright, unforgiving winter sunlight shooting directly into my retinas. I wince, covering my eyes with my forearm.I have very vague memories of getting back to my bedroom in Sydney’s house. I remember being lifted and carried but thought maybe I was dreaming. I’m sure I dreamt it, actually, because it was the man of the house himself who lovingly carried me to bed after I’d fallen asleep face down in the center of the atrium, surrounded by potting soil and discarded flower stems.I can still smell him, though. That rich, forest scent laced with musk and sandalwood.It wasn’t a dream.I blink rapidly to adjust my eyes to the blinding sunlight and squint at the clock on the bedside table.My scream echoes through the room as I leap out of bed and fall onto the ground, my ankle caught in the bedsheet.I’m still in my clothes from
SarahSydney holds open the garage door for me, silently, and I step inside. He turns on a light switch. Light spills over the large space. Stupid, menial things I shouldn’t be paying attention to come into focus.I’m counting each breath I take and each movement he makes in the short amount of time we’ve been together tonight. I make note of the way his freshly polished, fancy shoes sound on the concrete floor, the way his watch catches the fluorescent light overhead as he reaches for a large garment bag laying over the washer and dryer, and how his eyes light up again as he glances at me before opening it.That roaring in my ears has to be my heartbeat; otherwise, Sydney has some serious issues with the furnace on the far side of the room.He turns toward me, discarding the garment bag back onto the washing machine, and holds open the most luxurious fur coat I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
SydneyI don’t miss the fact I just told Sarah something no one knows. Not even Kenna. Not even Ryan or Evander.It doesn’t matter. At least, I tell myself that. I’m not going to ruin her night by dragging her down into the depths of my own despair over my choices, which I’ve practically written in blood and all but pledged to the Goddess.I can’t deny how good it feels to have Sarah in my arms, though. She holds my hand as I softly spin us around the garden with the other couples. We’re probably the youngest pair on the dance floor. I spot my dad talking with a group of other Alphas. I don’t think he’s even noticed I’m here, but that’s probably for the best.All we’ve had to talk about lately is business. Ever since Uncle Ryatt had to close the borders between the two kingdoms, there’s been nothing but stress weighing down my dad’s shoulders.&nbs
MistyNight falls on Silverhide against a chorus of coughing and sneezing. I’m not sure how else to describe it, but I’ve also never been sick before, so seeing half of Ryan’s pack under the weather is absolutely alarming. Everyone seems to be doing okay, however. Aviva snapped out of what ended up being a very short-lived fever, and Lexa is back to her usual self, but they’re both exhausted. Freya, Andrew, and their son, Sam, were somehow spared by the worst of the illness and have taken over care of Aviva and Lexa tonight so Ryan can take me on a run. I stare at the sleeping forms of Cole and Addy before closing the bedroom door and slipping out of the cabin to meet my brother on the road leading out of Silverhide. The dress I borrowed from Aviva feels strange against my skin as the warm night air wafts over me, lifting my hair from my shoulders in a soft breeze. It’s one of those Endovian dresses designed for shifting, of course, which means I’m practically exposed, but when I ca
MistyIt’s early afternoon when I finally leave our cabin in search of Cole. Aviva–who stayed up all night hunting, and then the entire morning caring for Lexa–is asleep on the couch with both babies as the moment. The tension in the village is palpable as I walk through the village square, which is quiet… borderline empty. A few people mill around going about their chores, but the square isn’t filled with conversation, children playing, or food being cooked and shared. It’s a bright, sunny day, which is being wasted. I sigh heavily and hike the bag I packed with a few sandwiches and treats for Cole over my shoulder and lower my head as I pass a group of men then turn toward the healer’s cottage. In the few days we’ve been in Silverhide, I haven’t had a chance to meet the pack's healer–some witch sent down from Moonrise a few weeks ago to serve in his pack. That’s the norm across Eastonia. Witches trained in Moonrise spread out, taking up residence in packs from Veiled Valley, thro
AvivaHot water rolls over my skin as I press my forehead against the tile. The shower is a new addition to our house, built along with the second story and unused bedrooms in the upper level. For me, the shower is absolutely massive–unreasonably so. For Ryan, it was a much needed upgrade from our copper tub downstairs. He stretches his arms over his head and groans as the scent of lavender soap fills the air, mingling with the steam. The window cut into the tile fogs up, blocking our view of the woods, but the first inklings of morning sunlight are trying to stretch toward Silverhide. “So,” he says behind me, gently tugging twigs from my curls and tossing them out of the shower. “This hellhound you found… what did it look like?”“A wolf,” I say, closing my eyes as his large hands drift to my shoulders, working out the knots from being in my wolf form practically the entire night. My breasts begin to ache with fullness but it’s a sensation I’m eager to ignore, especially as his touc
AvivaThe packhouse is always full to the brim. Four impossibly long tables and benches rest in the center of the wide, wood-lined space in rows where not a single seat is unaccounted for. Children dart from group to group, finding friends to play with while their parents dine. I’m at my usual spot at the head of the left-most table, surrounded by the other young, mated, new mothers while our mates move from group to group of men, chatting over pints of home-brewed ale. I bounce Lexa in my lap as I fork another piece of meat into my mouth, glancing down the table where Misty and Cole are seated together, unaccustomed to the noisy, damn near riotess shared evening meal. Misty seems especially affected, which strikes me as odd, given that she spent two weeks here last year before she went back to school… but that was before everything happened. Her eyes are empty, which worries me. I thought I was the only one having an existential crisis, but apparently… I’m not. Freya leans over,
Ryan“Come on, girl. You liked me yesterday.” I hike Lexa up and set her on my shoulder so her legs are around the back of my neck, my arm bent and extended so I press my hand against her back. She immediately fists my hair and stops wailing, her sad sniffling turning to quiet excitement. A small giggle leaves her lips as we pass one of the ceiling height windows in the hallway I’ve been walking her up and down for the past thirty minutes.Aviva would tell me this is dangerous to do with her at only four months old, but I can’t help it. Tossing this baby around is getting her ready to wrestle, which is what I often tell my wife before she stops my fun, but right now, we’re completely alone.I turn a corner, find another hallway, and walk down it with no plan nor destination in sight. In fact, I’m not entirely sure what I’m supposed to be doing right now other than keeping Lexa happy, and current
AvivaI’m the biggest baby in the entire world. Not only did I freeze the moment Ryatt announced he was making me a commander, but I went so pale that the excited look on his face–his eyes shining with pride–shattered with concern. He took one step in my direction, and I burst into tears… in front of every man in the room. I ran. There wasn’t anything else I could do, honestly. The only man I’ve ever cried in front of is Ryan, and even then, I hate it. I’m supposed to be tough. Hard. Unbreakable. I skirt around the lake in my wolf form, my paws beating the rocky shore. Morning sunlight breaks over the mountains, splitting the sky with ribbons of pure gold. The pretty sage dress I fussed over this morning is caught around my neck and in shambles, which only adds fuel to the fire of my despair and desperation. I can’t untangle the dress, just like I can’t untangle my thoughts. A year ago, I would have been honored to be given this position. I would have jumped at the opportunity.
AvivaThe last time we were in Moonrise was for Lexa’s birth. Four months have passed in a blur, which I assume is normal when you have a baby for the first time. Pile on our responsibilities as Alpha and Luna of Silverhide, let alone the rulers of all the Deadlands, and time is merely a construct in our lives that I’m keen to ignore as long as possible.Still, when Kenna arrived yesterday morning, chipper and excited to see us and Lexa, I felt a weight begin to press into my chest. Whatever Ryatt wants with me comes with a cost–which will be the end of our somewhat quiet, cozy life.I spent the entire day in Kenna’s company while she made her rounds checking on every baby and mother in Silverhide. Ryan went off to do Alpha duties, like making sure James, his Beta, had what he needed to take over for a few days in our absence. His mate, Dahlia, is pregnant again–with twins this time–but Kenna seemed h
AvivaIt’s just after dawn when I slide Lexa into her sling and head out of the house into another warm, later summer morning. The sun stretches across the pastures, casting golden light as far as the eye can see. Lexa–who I’ve taken to carrying on my back lately–coos softly as she uses my hair as reins, her chubby fingers tangled in the sloppy braid I managed to throw together just after I woke up, alone in bed, in a quiet house.I stare at the road leading into the forest–out of the valley of Silverhide. It’s empty. No wolves trot in my direction. I grind my teeth as the crippling unease that’s been coasting through my body for days nearly chokes me, but I turn toward Freya and Andrew’s house.Andrew built Freya a shopfront earlier this spring while they waited for their son, Samuel, to make his arrival. It’s cozied up beside his blacksmith shop, and her gorgeous tapestries and wov
MistySome days I don’t think about the war.Some mornings I wake to sunshine and Cole’s arms around me while I cradle Adrian in my arms and don’t think about how the three of us came to be. I think of clean sheets that smell like lavender, not the smell of Richard’s bloody war room where I’d healed that cursed wolf. I sip coffee while watching my mate–my husband–the love of my life rush around the kitchen packing his bag for another long shift at the hospital instead of watching him don that black cloak.We have a house instead of shared spaces. Our home is safe and full of love instead of constant stress and the crushing weight that, at any moment, our safety will end.But some days I have to remind myself that we made it out. That we’re here, and whole, and together.Today is one of those days.Mom peeks into the massive library at the castle of Cr