Chapter 1

                                                   ~CIARA'A POV~

If I were a number, which would I be?

Numbers are beautiful. Numbers are divine. Numbers are an intricate form of art of a simple design. They help build the world around us and they help bring it down but there is nothing that can truly destroy the nature and value of numbers.

I love numbers. I love how they are so important and yet no one thinks much of them. I love how they help shape the world without actually doing anything.  I love how they are so easy yet so difficult to understand. And I love how they excitedly run circles in my head, begging to keep me company.

Two eyes, ears, legs, hands, a face, and ten toes are most of what I was born with.

Eight thousand thirty days, one hundred and ninety two thousand, seven hundred and twenty hours, is how long I've lived in this accursed world.

Seven weeks, is how long I have been taken away from the only family I have.

A window, four walls, two metal restraints, and a hundred rats are where I have been kept since my unfair abduction.

Seven broken teeth, a broken nose, zero fingernails, zero toenails, a thousand slashes running down my back, and one pained beast inside me is how far they would go to break my spirit. 

How many times has the goddess taken a shit over the horizon of this pitiful existence I cling to with all I have? How many times have I been made to suffer for something I am unaware of? How many times I have looked him in the eye and begged that he should spare me, save me, LOVE ME?! And how many times has he and everyone else ignored my plea? 

4,000. That's how many times he has tried to break my soul and how many times I have stood the test of time.

I can be beaten down but I can't be broken. There was nothing he didn't do and nothing he didn't say.

You being my mate has done nothing to null the hatred that burns deep in my heart and to prove that 'I Alpha Noah Richards reject you Ciara Jenson as my mate and Luna'.

That was by far the most hurtful of his tactics and even that did not break me. 

As I lay on the floor stained with human waste and blood, counting the cobwebs on the walls and the streaks of light that slipped through the cracks in the ceiling, My mind drifted to the grandmother I left behind who must be worried sick about me and fat, heavy tears fell from my eyes.

"What did I do to deserve this, dear goddess? Why have you chosen to abandon me yet again? Why is it hard for you to show me a shred of the love you have shown others!?—"  I yelled my frustrations into the stale air hoping they would slip through the same cracks the light did and get to her ears.  

"—and yet why can't I find it in me to hate the man who caused me all this pain?" I whispered the last part so low that not even the darkness around me could have heard what I said.  

Yes, I don't resent the man who caused me all this pain. Hell, I don't even dislike him. Because I'm the only stupid girl alive who's in love with her oppressor.

I am in love with Noah Richards. 

I know most people would come up with a thousand reasons why I'm stupid for this and I agree with them but how can you not love a man whose aura exudes power and authority? How can you not love a man who puts his people before himself? And how can you not love a man who might say he hates me but continues to protect me from harm over and over again?

~FLASHBACK~

I sat on the moist soil with my head against a tree trunk and my hand over the wound on my side. My breathing was out of control and my heart rate accelerated. 

The wounds I received from the flogging were nothing compared to the emotional wounds on my soul, as I was being flogged at the heart of this pack by none other than the alpha, Noah Richards. 

I was ridiculed, made fun of, and insulted. Hell, some people even threw stones at me and no amount of healing could heal that.

My senses were messed up but that didn't stop me from catching sight of the group of wild animals growling in my direction, saliva spilled from their mouth and their eyes shone bright yellow.

They are just normal animals and If I could shift into my wolf, I would end these fools, but the problem is that I can't shift, not after the beating I just took.

They ran to me at an alarming speed and I closed my eyes to prepare myself for my death, but after a couple moments in silence,  I opened my eyes to see what happened and my blood ran cold.

Standing over the dead bodies of the creatures only fending for themselves was none other than Noah who was dressed in just a pair of pants dripping with animal blood.

He walked in my direction and before I could conjure my next thought, he picked me up and flung me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and I got front-row seats to his glorious ass.

"I can feel you ogling me."

I froze in place and prayed to the moon goddess that she should spare my life but instead of leaving me in the forest as expected, he just stayed quiet and walked back to the pack house.

"Don't think just because I helped you means that I have forgotten what you did, I still hate you but there's something in me that can't let you die."

`END OF FLASHBACK~

"What are you smiling about?"

I snapped out of my thoughts and stared at the man of the hour standing outside the cell.

Speak of the devil.

He walked into the tiny space I called my home, my heart pounded in my chest, and the frail heartbeat of our fractured bond. It's weak but it was still there,  but Noah can't hear it.

Because I am a Lycan and he doesn't know that.