The evening returns to the shoreline. The stars appear above the remaining line of pink and purple, remnants of an amazing sunset that would have made for a fantastic date night if I do say so myself. But I don't have the luxury of date nights anymore, now that I am still healing from what he did to me. Jaxson Miles did a lot of things to me, he became my world and wrote songs for me on his guitar under the stars on nights like this. But all that's left now is my broken heart and the memory of his arms wrapped around another woman burning into my skull.
The tide interrupts my tears, and my eyelashes catch tear drops the way leaves in the canopies collect rain. When I blink my eyelashes stick together and when I open them they are hard to pull apart like a pair of coupled hands. Hands are meant for holding, holding someone else's as an assurance that the world is safe and that all the darkness in the world isn't real. I sit on the rock with my sundress covering my knees. My legs are in the famous pretzel style, and I hide my head in my lap and let the tears fly.The tears fall down in gentle rivulets but as time picks up and the squeeze on my heart increases, they get larger and catch in my eyelashes like a giant butterfly net.For days now I have wanted to cry about Jaxson but haven't been able to. But sitting on my favorite rock without Jaxson beside me, makes everything feel empty, hollow, and meaningless. I am an explorer without a compass to guide my heart into the wilderness of the future.The emotions force me to cough, and the realization that I truly am alone in this world kicks in on Hyperdrive. I've never had a panic attack before, but all the stress of my breakup, meeting Aiden, and my parents going missing is too much. My heart pounds and pounds and everything within my skin shakes and quakes. I can't stop it, and I can't fight it. I just sit there and surrender to my heart raising like a prize stallion.Prize stallions are trained and come out for the big leagues. I'm more like the small stable pony being forced into the big leagues by all the stressful circumstances in my life. My shoulders shiver as I sniffle into my hands."Jaxson... why?" A hand touches my shoulder, and hot tea is placed on the rock beside me. Judging by the shape of his feet and his calves, I can already tell that Aiden has made his way to the shoreline to comfort me."I'm sorry you are having a hard time. I am feeling that a little myself. It's the water that makes it hard for me to stand still. Water is how our emotions are, it's calm for a moment, but then the ripples kick us in the ass."Aiden sits beside me on the other rock. He starts kicking the sand and stares longingly at the rising moon."You don't have to comfort me. It's just hard to be rejected. No one wants to have me around. No one except Brianna. She's the only family I have left. After her, I am on my own. At least the sky is perfect. The perfect night for a full moon."Aiden jerks up, instantly. All the calm he had in him prior is removed by an awkward twitching."Did you say full moon? I need to go, better talk tomorrow. Is there a sea cave anywhere nearby? I need to clear my head for a bit?"Aiden crosses his arms as if I've offended him. I quickly stand up."I'm sorry if I was rude or something you don't have to leave on my account. But if you do need to clear your head there's a sea cave down by Berkeley Cove. It's half a mile away on foot. Just follow the shore until you hear an echoing sound. You'll find it in no time," I reply."You haven't done anything wrong. Full moons scare me and I want to get in a cave before it's at its fullest. I am a bit superstitious, I guess. Can't be too careful," Aiden says as he begins his journey to the Berkeley sea caves."Of course, I understand that. Brianna's mother used to be like that. Always scared of black cats and magic. You do what you gotta do. I'm sorry you're banished. I hope you don't feel like that here. Come back in the morning and this time I will make French toast."Aiden nods and winks at me, when he does I swear one of his eyes is changing colors from the deep blue into a strange yellow hue. His mannerism change as well, in a matter of minutes his shoulders have become wider and thicker. He disappears onto the horizon without an explanation for his physical changes. But I have a feeling that whatever he's hiding has something to do with the voices in the deep dark ocean. I only hope we become good enough friends that he can tell me what this actually means.Aiden's disappearance isn't alarming but the fluttering in my heart is. Regardless of Aiden's wisdom and his mysterious ways, I am still a hurt woman. A hurt woman should never go looking for trouble, especially if that trouble involves a man after a recent pain. My mother always told me to avoid dating new people after a breakup for at least four to six months. I see her point now that it has happened to me, being dumped sucks, but having a rebound might feel worse.The last thing I need is a stupid rebound fling to make me hate the woman I am becoming. I hardly recognize myself in the mirror anymore, there used to be beauty. But it is now swallowed up by stress and pride, after time I hope I can shed my life of one of those toxic traits. I am not sure which trait that is at the moment, but only time will tell and unfortunately I must wait for her to make a decision on my behalf.The middle of the night is stirring, stirring like a thousand hurricanes lost at sea. Aiden hasn't returned to the shed in our backyard. He needed to be alone and I know that. The focus of his frustration stems from his banishment which is an ever-present issue. Brianna and I pass the time by watching corny crime shows about cougar mothers who murder their young lovers. Nothing gives me the creeps more than that. The rain picks up and falls in a slanted pattern. Worrying about Aiden Atkinson is foolhardy at best, but I am not in my right head space at the moment. I am not myself right now. Everything about Aiden is mysterious and makes me wonder if he knows where my parents are. Something about his eyes changing color is off-putting and alarming. Like a nightmare consuming a soul for its victim. "Are you tired of watching the movie?" Brianna asks as she tosses a few stale popcorn pieces at my head. "No, I'm worried about Aiden. This storm is getting worse." "So what..he isn't our
"I'm a werewolf," he repeats like I didn't hear him clearly the first time. It's not every day a young man walks into your life, has his eyes change color, and proceeds to tell you he's a werewolf. Flashbacks of last night's cave rescue make their way back into my mind. He was bloody and had scratches everywhere. The blood from his sheets this morning proves that something indeed happened to him in the cave. Was it all self-inflicted? Did he do this to himself? Or is his tall tale true? Are there really men who walk among us and howl to the moon on a full night? I can hardly believe I am having this internal conversation. "A werewolf? Like the ones, I hear about in the movies? So do I need to buy a silver bullet then?" All jokes aside, he was afraid of one the moon the night be last before he went galavanting toward the cave. The moon was at its fullest last night, and his eyes turned with it. Could his story really be true? I am having a hard time believing it myself. But if he rea
Our lips are still touching as Aiden puts his arms around me. But for some reason, I pull away. It's not Aiden Atkinson's fault that he is sexy as hell and that I had to stop the spell from forming on his lips. No none of those things are his fault. When I try to pull away, however, Aiden won't let me. He's enjoying himself too much, and I relent and give him one more make-out sesh on the kitchen table. I can't believe how reckless I am being right now, it's simply ridiculous. It's ridiculous how quickly two kissing friends, (I refuse to say lovers because I don't love Aiden) can get wrapped up in each other. This time Aiden lets me go, but his eyes still stare at my mouth. I don't feel pretty, but I do feel sexy when he looks at my body up and down. There's nothing special about what I am wearing, I look like a farmer's helper heading off to collect chicken eggs for the morning breakfast, in my green plaid top. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have pulled you in like that. You kissed me t
It's the middle of the night and I can still hear Aiden's voice echoing in my mind. He called me a gorgeous woman. It didn't occur to me at the time but it was a very endearing compliment. I'm not used to compliments from men. When Jaxson dated me he would compliment other women except for me. It's not that I need the approval of a man but it's nice to have affirmation from someone who I haven't dated before. I have a feeling that my affection for Aiden will get deeper and deeper as time moves forward. The water is calm as I look out onto the beach. So calm in fact, that I can't help but think of nothing else but the sand between my toes. Aiden would give me a hard time if you wandered out onto the beach again in the middle of the night. But there's something about the beach at night that's more lovely than the daytime. Perhaps it's the night sky that makes the water calmer. Just the moon reflecting in the ocean as it rises from the horizon. Or maybe it's that it's quiet on the beach
The morning sunrise appears and the mermaids return me to land, like spirits returning a soul to the land of the living. My journey among the mysterious has ended and it's time to face the truth that, whatever lies beneath the surface has a desire to win me over. I am still in shock that they called me a mermaid. Deep down in my bones, I know it to be true. I didn't explore the city like King Caspian wanted me to do. It was too hard for me to wrap my mind around. The colors of the fish, the smell of the city, and the fact that I had a fishtail distracted me from my mission. He wanted me to explore the city and decide if I want to return to them. Would it really be returning if I have no memory of that place? Being human is more comfortable, it's more familiar. Perhaps if I lie on the shore for a while the bad dream will end and the one where Aiden isn't a werewolf and I'm not a siren can start. Aiden called out to me when the sirens took me below the waters. I never did get a clear
It's been a few weeks since I was turned into a mermaid. I haven't heard their voices on the water. I haven't heard the eerie harmonizing of the family of three who escorted me to and from that place. I've concluded that it was a dream and never took place, to begin with. Aiden doesn't strike me as the sort to ridicule. But there are times when I have to ask myself, why I ever dated Jaxson in the first place when men like Aiden exist. In the last few weeks, Brianna, Aiden, and I have become very close. I've kept Aiden away. I've kept him at arm's length and have promised myself that I won't kiss him or touch him again. Kissing him would be hard because the moment our lips would touch again the butterflies would pick up and I'd give in. I don't want to give in. Not really. Giving in to Aiden would be giving up on our friendship. We could be friends. We could be best friends if we could put all of our physical touching behind us. I hardly know him and yet the way he has cared for me h
Dreaming is something I don't enjoy. Within my dreams, images appear images of things that scare me. My brain itches when I'm in my deep REM cycle. Rapid Eye Movement is what it's called when the eyes twitch endlessly back and forth behind closed eyelids, as though they are reading the pages of an imaged manuscript. I've watched eyes flutter behind closed lids. The movement is rapid and unpredictable like ocean waves. When I dream the joys of my life disappear behind a sea of lifeless darkness. The things I am scared of flood in, and haunt me at night. I remember the last time werewolves and sirens had a battle in my presence. The land sirens came and took my mother out of her bed by her long hair. We were in our human forms in those days, living peacefully amongst the shadows. The sirens burned our village to the ground. They forced the vampires to retreat to Europe. But the werewolves stood and fought for the land we've come to love. I was ten when my mother died in that house. And
The next morning is different than any other I've had with Aiden. Brianna returned from the picnic yesterday completely unaware of the fact that Aiden had sucked on my chest. Aiden and I promised each other it would be a one-time ordeal, but the truth is it is likely to happen again now that we both know what the other feels like. It wasn't sex of course, but it was intimate enough that if I hadn't pulled away I am quite sure it would have led to it. There's nothing wrong with sex, until someone older shows up to ruin the fun. Luckily we don't have anyone older than us around here. Older adults tend to judge everything no matter what and then proceed to assume they have some super wisdom that one else could ever hope to achieve. Like the time I went to the library and was quietly reading my saucy romance to myself. The cover was a little risky but I didn't throw that in anyone's face. This older lady in her mid-seventies came up to me and proceeded to give me an unsolicited lecture