4.

MIA

Crestwood High. Ranked top five in the state of Michigan. It's well, a high school, as you'd imagine. Nothing so fancy, but every school has its differences, and with Crestwood, everyone is exactly as they seem. Until they're not.

The Nerds who are just people smarter than the rest of us then punished for it because they don't 'fit in' to our usual standards of typical dumbness.

The popular kids were lucky enough to be born into a rich family, so they decided they were better than everyone else. I mean, they are. But still.

The in-betweens. Average grades. Not so popular, but most people recognize their names. They get called out once in a while and attend a few parties.

Then others just exist. They go to class and stroll through the hallway, but they can't fit into a place. They're invisible to everyone else.

Which brings us to me. Am I popular? Dating the quarterback sort of gives you that by default. Was I a nerd? I cried when I got less than a 90 on a test, so maybe.

Then there were other days when I felt invisible. Like no one knew me or paid attention. Occasional waves, but that was it.

So, what group did I fit into? I had no idea. I shut the locker with a low sigh.

"Hello!"

Maya jumped over me, pulling down on my shoulders with giggles leaving her throat.

"God, weekend sex is the best. I feel refreshed. Don't you?"

I banged my head on the metal, pulled the ends of my backpack, and then rolled my eyes.

"I don't."

"Well, that's because Nick is terrible in bed. And those books had us thinking athletes had dicks made of gold."

"Maya."

I hissed. "What?" She pushed my elbow and we laughed, cruising through the hallway.

"They did make us think that."

"Ah, so you do admit he's bad in bed."

A parched brow. She would never let this down. Maya had no filter. About anything. I loved it because I never wanted anyone to use the silly excuse of protecting my feelings to justify lying to me.

You can't ever live up to the feeling of being made out as a complete fool by another person, especially by those you care about.

"Is that a turtle neck? Thought you said they were hideous?"

"They were." I muse silently, stretching a smile out in reality. I hated them. Didn't own a single pair, so I grabbed the smallest size from Gianna's closet. Since she knew, it was less degrading to ask for it this morning.

Speaking of Gianna - Dad wants me to start calling her stepmom at least but we aren't quite there yet.

She sent a text after I left the house. Dad was working late today - the usual. He needed some files and since I kept digital copies of almost everything, he needed me to turn them into paper back and bring them to the office.

He also had something important to show me which explained why he couldn't simply print them out himself or maybe get Gianna to do it. After all, she still acted like his secretary. Keeping his meetings, sending memos, and planning the day. I guess those wifely duties that mom never participated in. Or she's too scared to let another woman do it instead.

Lose them how you get them. I'd rather not let my mind wander too far. Too much bliss in not knowing. I say that then lay back at night allowing my mind to fill out all the blank spaces. It's a form of self-harm.

"Can I come with you to your dad's?"

We were almost at third period English. Maya didn't press about the dress code anymore and my day was flowing as usual.

"Why? Don't you have cheerleading practice?"

I failed to mention that important bit, didn't I?

"I do, but I'm gonna skip."

"What? It's the same routine as before. Plus, doctors turn me on."

I pushed the door open for both of us.

"Everyone turns you on."

I counter, my voice swallowed by the murmurs of everyone around us.

"True."

A sigh accompanied by a palm wave in midair as we struggle to find good seats. Everyone began settling down since class started in four minutes.

"Hey, Dawson."

A small pat on my back. Instinct causes me to jerk then shrugs him off. Luke moves to Maya, her eyes are glaring, and they could burn right through the shirt at this rate.

"Nick doesn't take this class."

I crossed my arms around both sides of my chest. A subconscious response to uneasiness.

"Oh, I know."

He quipped, tight-lipped smile. He hardly spoke when Nick and I hung out. Now he's saying hi and making convos when Nick is far away.

I call Bull.

"Well, what do you want?"

Blunt. Perfect.

"To apologize."

Can I fall off the chair or something?

"This is hilarious. Hold while I pull out a phone to capture this moment. Could you rewind for the fans?"

She whipped her cell in his face. I cocked my head causing Maya to slowly pull it down. "Never let me have any fun."

Just like a whiny child.

"I don't recall a reason for you to owe me an apology, Luke"

"Nicky told me what happened. Missed the date because of me. I apologize. It wasn't my intention."

He drawled my palm to his lips and kissed a spot. Nicky?

"It's fine. We're good."

I snatched my hand. Maya pulled up sanitizer behind us. My lips folded as I giggled. Luke looked back and she tucked it away which made it ten times funnier.

"I had to do this either way."

Translation Nick forced him into it. As though they shared one brain cell. It got annoying.

"I'm sure you did."

Everyone had started settling down. Two minutes until the period starts.

"Well Dawson, it didn't seem like you missed anything. I saw the snaps. Shame that vibe wasn't at my party instead."

My arm hair pulled up. There were snaps. Maya knows I hate unaware photographs and she was hooking up with the bartender. How did Luke know? Did he tell Nick?

"Jenkins posted a whole dump about the night. You seemed to be having fun."

I opened the snap. I'll kill Tony. He got us the ID then snuck around and took photos. What if -

"Nothing harmless."

That's what you'd think.

"Anyway. I'll see you around."

I didn't acknowledge the half-ass wink he offered before strutting off. As the teacher strolled in, Maya grabbed my hand and placed the sanitizer on it before rubbing my palms, asking why I seemed palm.

That's the thing about secrets, they never stay hidden for too long.

****

"Can I come with?"

"Uhm, it's just a quick drop-off and my dad wants to talk to us. We should be back soon."

I leaned against the back of my car, Nick's hands circling my waist.

"You sure?"

He twirled a strand of hair and I nodded.

"Uh..."

Maya hits the honk, loudly interrupting us.

"Sorry!" Giggles following makes me think that was on purpose.

"I'll call you."

He tastes like pickles when we kiss. I don't mean that in a bad way, not sure where those thoughts even came from.

"Love you."

I ruffle his hair then slide around, getting into the driver's seat.

"Disgusting."

She fake gags. "I'll hit you with a ruler if you don't shut it."

"Yes ma'am."

She quite literally purrs. Jerking my head, I ignite the engine and drive off.

****

LIFE BEYOND CARE

Always felt the sign was a bit quirky. All they did was care for people so they could live longer, what could they possibly know about a life after that?

Maya and I stroll inside, skipping past the formalities at the front desk. No new nurses and everyone else already knew us. I texted my dad and he hit me back with an "In my office"

My father had a broad field which had him in a courtroom analyzing a criminal for patterns or visiting a counselor in a high school for someone who attempted suicide. Happened more than once in both cases. This is funny since he's great at seeing through everyone, but never blinks at the facade I put up.

"This hospital had so many sexy..."

"Eyes on the door ahead. In and out."

I held the drive containing the files he asked for.

"Yes. Yes."

****

My dad had his office, a waiting room, and a large space for everything else. His office could pass for a bedroom with couches in the corner and as I knocked before pushing the door in, I realized we weren't alone. Someone was bent down at his cabinet. Regardless, I could see the head and hands.

Veiny hands. Popping out more as he clutches the edge, scouring the drawer for something

"See what I mean. They follow me everywhere"

Maya gushes and I ogle. His hair. Why is it all over the place? Also, can I run my hands through them?

Fuck no. When did I turn into a more horny version of Maya?

"Who are you?"

What I should have asked as I stepped in. A client?

The ruffling halts and he slips his hands under the desk, lifting himself off the ground and his eyes catch mine.

I stumble. I know those eyes. Piercing hazel. Taunting. Daring for a challenge. Logan.

"You must be lost or..."

I try to recover, dropping the drive, and jerking with re-traced steps.

"Mia my love. I see you've met Logan. He's my new intern. I wanted to introduce you both since I'm sure you'll be working together. He might be over at the house too. It's best to get the awkwardness out of the way."

My father was using the built-in restroom, emerging from the door.

I giggled. Hard and so very loud. My father wouldn't know how awkward it could be for us.

Logan chuckles. The same menacing sound at the club right as I pulled his shirt and kissed him.

Fuck me. It still sounded good.

"I'll show him how to use the printer. Thank you. Maya."

"Hi, Mr Dawson."

She waves although he's close.

He kisses both our cheeks and then motions over to Logan. I'm either delusional or he keeps his stride slow and his gaze nestled on me.

Oh. My. God. He still smells the same. That's why it was so easy to melt into his arms and fall asleep. He smells divine.

"It was nice meeting you, Mia."

Hearing my name fall off his lips is like praise and God I want him to worship me. He doesn't acknowledge the night before or hint at anything else. His figure disappears as he trails after my father.

Finally, I exhale and clasp the hideous turtle neck at the base.

"Fuck me."

"Well, this is interesting."

"Huh?"

I tipped over my shoulder. Right, Maya. Her arms crossed, grinning widely. I gulped.

Oh no. She has the I know what you did last summer look.

"Never thought I'd see the day."

"I'm not sure what you mean."

I covered my fingers with my shirt pulling them inside.

"I'm impressed. Furious. But impressed."

She even clapped twice.

"You kept a secret from me."

A dramatic gasp. I had a few.

"I..."

"You are..."

She leaned over the couch, her forehead against mine.

"A very bad girl."

"Please don't. That's so cringe."

I covered my mouth to hold the giggles.

"You fucked him didn't you?"

"Shut up. God. My dad is right down the hall. Jesus."

I made sure the door was still closed. Then, I took my hands out and jerked her away from me.

"Oh. Oh. Oh. This is so juicy!"

My best friend starts jumping around the room.

"He's Nick's brother."

She trips over the couch, falling at the edge and I reach her, extending a helping hand.

Silence. Blinking unwavering silence.

"Well, that was anti-climactic."

She groans, stretching her hand out from the ground.

It wasn't because I can't escape this secret. It will quite literally follow me wherever I go.

My sweet sweet father didn't see the need to hold back as his daughter was in a healthy and happy relationship. Not cheating at the club over the last weekend.

Now where do we go from here?

*****