The summer when she was twelve years old, this truth hit Valeria with force: she was just a flat skinny girl, and Daniel, though always kind and willing to play videogames with her or ride their bikes around the neighborhood, was moving on to different interests. And maybe she wasn’t able to follow him no matter how hard she tried.
It was difficult to keep up with someone you only saw once a year, but even more if that person was Daniel, who changed passions as others changed shoes. Just a year ago, he was into chemistry and talked a great deal about his club in school, which also made Valeria put a lot of extra effort into her science subjects (one day she’d understand better the things he tried to explain to her). But now, Daniel had just come back from an exchange year in Italy, where he’d lived with a host family, attended school, and learned yet another language during the past eight months.
Chemistry was something Daniel wasn’t particularly enthusiastic about anymore, now he told her. He’d joined cooking lessons and wanted her to teach him how to make arepas.
“Your mom knows how to make them better. And your grandma too.” Why was he asking her? He was one weird guy.
“I did ask them. But mom is not good at teaching anything, she nags half of the time.” Then he added with a frown. “And grandpa said I had no business in the kitchen.”
However, if he disagreed or not with his grandfather, he knew better than to argue with him.
“What about Rosa?”
“She’s busy with college.” His older cousin was graduating this year. “Please?”
Daniel would look at her with those clean, sparkling eyes and bat his eyelashes, so although she didn’t really enjoy cooking (she only did it when she had to help her mom), how could she say no to him?
“Okay.” Valeria sighed in acquiescence.
He’d gotten taller and fit this year, or had he been like that before, too? She had not noticed it when she was younger, but she was definitely conscious of this now. Her classmates usually talked about this boy or that boy at school, but Valeria had always found them lacking. Daniel was good-looking. Daniel was nice. Daniel was good at everything he put his mind to learning.
Suddenly feeling upset, Valeria fixed her eyes on the table, leaving him to procure the ingredients.
“I think there’s no more cornbread. I’ll go to buy some.”
It was unfair, he was sixteen while the boys at school were just twelve or thirteen. Her own age.
“Vale?”
“Earth calling to Vale?"
“Ah?” She skipped a beat when she lifted her gaze to meet the teasing grin on his face. "What?"
“What is it that had you so distracted?”
“Nothing. I’m going with you.”
“Or the right question is who? Our little Vale has a crush at school?”
She blushed, knowing he wouldn’t leave it alone. But how could she ever let him find out?
‘I have a crush on someone, but that person only sees me as a child.’
“I don’t.”
***
For the first time, she liked someone. If only she were a couple of years older… Valeria had thoughts like this more times than what she could possibly count.
Then maybe, just maybe, I could be something more than the little sister Daniel wished he had. (Yes, he said those exact words once, and she had to pretend it did not hurt.)
Four years.
Four years were nothing when they were children, and four years were probably nothing for adults either. She would have liked to remember more of her father to be able to compare, but of course, that might not be the best person to use as an example.
At school, she’d draw hearts and write down their names intertwined in the back of her notebook.
Valeria prided herself to be more mature and smart than other girls in her class, but it was to be crushing on someone who already had a girlfriend. (She wondered if his girlfriend was the same from last year or a different one.)
Four years, when she was still at school and he was about to attend university, put her object of affection in a place beyond her reach. The whole thought process that made her consider this the biggest obstacle was laughable, really, considering they only saw each other once a year and he lived more than five thousand kilometers away.
‘I’m so silly.’
She was a silly fourteen-year-old girl.
Then Pablo invited her to his birthday party, and Valeria knew he liked her and really wanted her there just by how much he insisted. He’d even go to her house and ask her mother to give her permission.
Perhaps she had to try a bit harder to like someone who was within her reach.
“Vale! Woah, you’re a lot taller every time I come to visit.”
“I’ve always been tall.” Valeria dismissed his words. Yes, she was growing up to be a lady, Daniel was praising her this way, but it didn’t change the way he looked at her. “How is university going?”
“Ah, same as always.” That meant he was bored with his classes. Sometimes it was a problem that nothing managed to keep him interested long enough.
“Rosa, Kike and I are going to eat out tonight at a new restaurant. Do you want to go with us?”
Kike was Rosa’s longtime boyfriend and fiancé, the wedding date was the main topic of conversation between their families recently. Daniel probably didn’t want to be a third wheel either, and it wouldn’t be strange if Rosa invited her. They had always been neighbors, and at fifteen, Valeria was old enough to be included in this kind of outing. Besides, she had always been around these people older than her. (Until recently, it was only her mother, her grandfather and her at home.)
However, the person inviting her was Daniel. She was determined to end her infatuation and going out with another couple, even if it wasn’t a date, wouldn’t help her heart at all.
“Sorry. I’m going to watch movies with my friends. Maybe next time?”
“Ah, of course.” He startled her by patting her head and gifting her a smile. “You should hang out with people your age and not oldies like us. Have fun!”
His words almost made her change her mind.
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not old.”
Daniel just laughed and shrugged it off.
“Yeah, true. Anyway, have fun. I’ll see you around tomorrow, I guess.”
Later she’d wished to have gone that night with him instead. Then, would her life be any different? She might have never met the person who’d ruin her life.
Had she not met him that day would life be any different? No, if she was going to be honest with herself, there had been many chances to avoid Mateo afterwards, yet she didn’t want to. After that first meeting, he was everywhere: at every party, every gathering, at any direction she looked at.It wasn’t something as far-fetched as fate, simply that the world was small enough that you’d end up meeting people who were connected to you in some way. Would she have met and liked Daniel in the first place if he wasn’t the Garcías’ grandson?Mateo was Camila’s cousin, and Camila was Valeria’s closest friend at school. That movie night at her friend’s house just happened to be the first time they coincided at the same place, at the same time.He was charming, a ha
“I can’t believe this of you, Valeria. Thank God Mateo is a nice young man and he brought you home safely. But how can you come back like that?” The disapproval in her mother’s voice, the disappointment in her eyes, and the words she said at that moment were all a slap in her face.“I’m sorry.” Valeria lowered her head. “It won’t happen again.”Entering her room again without saying another word, she waited until her mother’s steps could no longer be heard, and the silent tears turned into strangled sobs.She did not mean for any of this to happen, but what was she supposed to say now? Her mother was so mad just because she came back home drunk, what would happen if she told her the rest?The sweet fantasy
‘Misfortunes never come singly.’ Why did she remember her grandmother, dead for more than ten years, more than ever these days? Abuela Juana used to repeat this a lot, whenever she talked about the family’s curse, and then she’d lock herself in the bedroom every day to pray for hours. Valeria was sure her grandma went through every bead of the rosary more than once. Maybe she, too, preferred to pray in solitude so no one would come and talk to her.On the long sunny days in the city, Valeria did not feel like leaving her bedroom when she had no reason to. She went to school, visited her friends when they invited her to hang out, and she’d laugh and have fun for a while… but then she’d be back home, feeling more lonely than ever and wishing for her misfortune to be over. For Mateo to leave her alone.
“What are you doing here?”“Just hanging out with friends.”“You’re not old enough to buy alcohol.”Daniel chuckled at the exchange between the two siblings, finally getting Meili to acknowledge his presence.“Hi, Dan.”“Hey, long time no see. You’re getting prettier every year Mei.”“I know.” The young woman smiled. “Would you please tell my brother to mind his business and let me be.”She’d come with her friends, but to her bad luck, ended up in the same bar where her brother was.&
Her mother named him Manuel, after Valeria’s grandfather.“Hi.”The child had been sleeping but woke up as soon as she entered the room, his big eyes staring at her with curiosity.Green eyes. If only he didn’t have those green eyes, she might be able to look at him. Or that was what she told herself. The truth was, the color of a baby’s eyes could change as he grew older, but even if the boy’s eyes weren’t green, Valeria would still stay away.She didn’t hate him. She thought she would because she certainly hated him when he was growing inside her. However, that was pointless now. Manuel was not at fault for his biological father being a fucking bastard. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to care as she should, either
“I’ve heard you are traveling during the holidays. So, you won’t be around for my party?” The woman batted her eyelashes coquettishly. At least, it was her attempt to do so.Daniel cleared his throat.“Ah, thanks for the invitation… but I’m visiting my grandparents.”“You must really like it there, you go every year.”They had just bumped into each other in the market, there was no need to make conversation beyond some polite greeting.“I guess so. Then… see you around, Monnie.”He didn’t like Monnie very much. However, her new year’s parties were famous and when they were teenagers it mean
“When Uncle Daniel comes, can we go on a picnic again?” Manu asked, standing right by her side on the boudoir as she tried to choose her lipstick color.“Of course. I will not have work until next month, so I can stay here with you.” She ruffled his hair. “We’re also going to the park and I’ll teach you how to ride a bike, what about that?”She’d managed to buy the bike for the kid some months ago, but it had stayed in a corner of the living room ever since because he did not want to ride with the training wheels…“Really?” Manu’s face lit up, full of excitement.“Yes. Now, your grandma and I have to go out for a moment, can you stay at Ana and Ale’s house to play with them?”
We all want to show our best side to that special person. It was almost an instinct that prevented Valeria to reveal her ugly scars to him. However, a contradictory thing it was, he was also the only person she could ever bring herself to be honest with.“Because I drank too much, I couldn’t defend myself from him. I just wanted to go home. I was so afraid.”Maybe one day, she’d tell him.One day when it hurt less… but that wasn’t the moment yet.She whispered those words in the absolute silence of the hour before dawn, convinced he was sleeping. Then he opened his eyes wide and rolled on the bed to look at her in the face.“What do you mean?”