Chapter 4.

Damien POV.

I stood shocked in place after learning Marissa, my mate, was pregnant. I never thought that her accepting the rejection would have caused her to collapse and bled out.  She had so many chances to be frank with me, but she chose to be retricent about it and caused me so much pain and guilt. 

What have I done? If I had just been honest with her and rejected her from the beginning, this wouldn’t have happened. This is my fault, all of it. 

For that being said, I never thought she would accept the rejection. I thought she would have fought for me. She should have put up more of a fight to keep me. How could she have done this to me, her fated mate? If she truly loved me, then none of this would have happened. 

I pace outside the operating room doors as I lose the battle with my mind. Perhaps the pup isn’t even mine. Why am I feeling like this? She is a selfish whore. 

“Damien, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come back. This is all my fault.” Jessica cries as she throws herself into my arms. My wolf growls at her. He doesn’t like her at all.

“It’s not your fault. This is mine. If she had told me then, this wouldn’t have happened. You’re not to blame.” I coax her, but my heart is saying something else.

“Damien, how do we even know that the pup she is carrying is yours? She was adamant that she was going to leave. If the pup is yours, then why keep it from you? Marissa was clearly having an affair with someone else.” I pull away from her and glare down at her, listening to her words. Lydia said the same thing. I clench my fists at my sides as my wolf fights with me for control. He wants to rip Jessica’s throat out for what she was saying. But Lydia does not need to lie to me. I don’t know what to believe. The idea of my mate being with another causes me to growl. The thought of her calling his name as he took what was mine caused jealousy to surge through me. I will find him and kill him for touching what is mine.

No, she wouldn’t do that to me. Marissa doesn’t have it in her, but then again, there was always that one wolf called Robert who was always around her. He was transferred from a different pack. A pack that we know nothing about because he never talked about it. He was attacked at the border and it was Marissa’s grandfather that took him in and cared for him until the day he suddenly left. 

Marissa was always a wallflower before Robert arrived. I would bully her because I was always drawn to her, even at a young age. The moon Goddess gifted Marissa with sapphire blue eyes that always reminded me of the divine mother lake in the pack. Her eyes are like the water which is a source of all life. Her traits of being loving and kind indicate she would always be a healer.

I always had feelings for Marissa, but being so young, I didn’t know how to express them, so I bullied her along with Jessica and Jake so that she would notice me. Then that pup came and was always with Marissa, and it made me green with envy that he was getting all her attention and leaving nothing for me. My love has turned to hate since then, that’s why I force myself to be heartless when I am with her. 

“Damien? Damien, are you ok?” I’m pulled out of the memory by Jessica as I look at her face. She isn’t my Marissa. I nod my head at her words, not trusting my voice. 

“Lydia said she saw a man entering her room. Who knows who else she was sleeping with?” I take out my phone and dial Lydia’s number. I need answers now.

“Lydia, are you still at the hospital?” I pray she is. I need to see the report she took from Marissa’s bag. The thought of someone going through her personal things doesn’t sit right with me as I suppress the growl that threatens to leave my throat.

“Yes Alpha. I’m in the parking lot. Is everything ok?” she asks nervously and I know she fears the reason why I want to see her.

“Get back up here now. You said you had evidence of Marissa sleeping around, yes?” I ask as I hear her gulp on the other end. My hold tightens around the phone, waiting for her to tell me no.

“Ye-yes Alpha, I have it with me,” she stutters out and I growl. My wolf is on the surface. He knows Marissa wouldn’t do this, but I’m not so sure. She may have been my mate, but why would she want to leave me if she was innocent?

“Bring them to me, now. Oh, and Lydia, you better not be lying to me.” I snarl before I hang up. Jessica takes my hand, but I feel repulsed at her touch, so I step away from her. When Lydia arrives jogging towards me.

“Show me.” I command, with shaking hands she rummages through her bag and takes out a piece of paper and a picture.

Handing them to me, I open the paper and read the results. My eyes widen at what I’m reading. Marissa was 10 weeks pregnant. 

My mind goes back to that night when she had her heat 10 weeks ago. That night was filled with desire. I will never forget it. I even told her I loved her that night because I was so obsessed with her sinfully intoxicating body tasting like a sakura flavoured soft-serve. The following morning, I can’t remember if she took the pills. 

I look at the image, and it hits me. Marissa never committed adultery. The pup in her belly is mine. Oh Goddess, what have I done?

I collapse on the chair, my head in my hands as I sob; She wanted to leave to protect our pup, and I used her as a blood bank to save Jessica. It all makes sense now.

Dr Brendan said she wasn’t in the right condition to save Jessica. I forced her to do it. I did this to her and our pup, my pup. My wolf whimpers and whines, feeling my guilt. 

“She is innocent. The pup is mine! The person you saw entering Marissa’s room was me! She was my mate, Lydia. What right do you have to go through her things?” I roared as anger courses through my veins. The need to punish her is strong. She disrespected my mate. I will tear her to pieces for this.

Jessica gasps, covering her mouth with her hands, shaking her head as tears leave her eyes.

“No, Damien. Tell me this isn’t true?” she sobs as I look at her, not feeling anything towards her, only my own guilt tearing away at my flesh, leaving me bare for all to see. 

“It’s true. I need to make this right, Jessica. If I had made her my Luna like I promised, then this wouldn’t have happened. I’m sorry but I have to keep my word. She has bled for this pack, whereas you fled from this pack. She is their Luna.” I whisper the last part as my heart breaks. I pushed her too far. This is on me, it’s on all of us.

“No Damien. You rejected her, and she accepted it. She’s no longer yours! This is not your fault. She kept the pregnancy from you. This is her fault and no-one else’s.” 

Jessica grabs me with tears streaming down her face. I see it now, Jessica only wanted to be Luna and nothing more. How could she be so heartless? She is not the person I thought she was.

“Please Damien, don’t do this to me. You love me, me. Not her. You promised to make me your Luna. You said you would always love me and only me.” I take her hand off my arm as she sobs. 

“Enough. She found out today, and I forced her to save you. This is on me. Leave me.” Stepping away from her as she shakes her head before she runs away in tears. I don’t go after her. I need to be here for Marissa.

I wait, watching the light above the door, fidgeting with my fingers, praying they are both safe. My wolf paces anxiously, fighting with my human form to gain control.

“If anything happens to them, I will never forgive you and I will kill Jessica, she will never be my Luna. You fucked up and you will learn your lesson well.” My wolf snarls out and I ignore him. After some time, as I pace outside the doors, the lights turn off.

Stopping, I wait for Dr Brendan to come out. The second he does, I rush forward but stop in my tracks as I look at his dishevelled, heartbroken face.

No! No, please Selene, no.

“Dr Brendan, how, how are they?” I gulp, praying it’s not what I’m thinking.

“I’m sorry Alpha, I did everything I could. The rejection and the blood loss. I couldn’t save them. I’m sorry.” He sobs and I gasp as I blink at what he has just told me. 

“No, you have to try. Please, save them.” I wail out. My chest feels tight as a hand grips my shoulder.

I ignore people’s dissuasion and upright walk into the ICU. She is lying on the bed, not breathing. Her face is so pale yet peaceful. I caress her soft cheek and smooth down her dishevelled hair. The tingling in my fingers is so vivid as if I was pricked by rose thorns. I can’t repress the growl in anguish. Marissa, my mate, the one I have always loved, is gone.

Dr. Brenden lays a hand upon my shoulder and sighs heavily: “I’m sorry Alpha, I tried my best to save them. They are with Selene now. Let them rest in peace.” 

“I’ll kill you Damien, I’ll kill Jessica and your pack. You all did this to her and our pup.” My wolf howls in my head as I collapse on the floor, tears streaming down my face. 

TBC…