Chapter 9

Lincoln

Dani: Remind me again why I took this job.

Linc: You didn't have a choice. Almost here?

Dani: Yeah, I'm at Starbucks, will be over in a few.

The text ended with a few stunned looking smiley faces, a yawn, and then the picture of the ridiculously long Starbucks line.

Linc: Just let yourself in.

My flip flops made a slapping noise against the hardwood floor as I paced back and forth, back and forth in my living room. Nervous energy swirled around me as I cracked first my knuckles and then my neck.

The sound relaxed me more than the feeling.

I cracked my left hand again then my right.

Blowing air out of my cheeks, I sat on my couch and started my deep breathing. In for eight seconds, out for eight seconds, eight times.

I'd tried to stop with my first-day ritual, but the one and only time I hadn't done the whole cracking, breathing, relaxing thing, one of the lights had fallen on me during filming.

During a sex scene.

I'd been naked.

So had she.

Let's just say we both received some fun bruises in places no person should ever be bruised.

Which brought me back to the deep breathing.

I blew out my last breath, eyes closed, envisioning my first few lines. I mouthed the words then, eyes still closed, played with a few voices.

"It's so much easier..." My voice rumbled low in my throat. "... fighting for the bad... giving in to temptation, don't you think?"

No, that wasn't right. My voice wasn't raw enough; it felt forced. I tried again, this time clearing my throat.

"It's so much easier..." I started. "Shit." I wiped my face with my clammy hands. I wasn't feeling it. When had I ever been so obsessed over someone that my sole purpose in life was to bring them down with me? Bring them to my level just so I could have a taste?

Dani.

Her name flashed like a neon sign in my stupid-ass brain. Flash, flash, flash. With a groan, I licked my lips and envisioned her standing in front of me. The forbidden fruit, someone who intrigued me, piqued my curiosity, a girl who made me want.

"It's so much easier..." My gut clenched as I reached for her hand, my fingertips tingling with anticipation of caressing her skin. "... fighting for the bad." I envisioned myself take a step forward as my fingertips grazed her wrist, the erratic pulse giving way to her feelings, though she remained still, indifferent. "Giving into temptation..." I lifted her wrist to my lips and whispered hoarsely against her skin. "Don't you think?"

The sound of clapping jolted me out of my vision, causing a near heart attack to take my short life.

"Shit!" I jumped to my feet and turned around.

Dani's face was flushed as she held out my coffee and a bag of Skittles.

"That was, um..." I scratched my neck in anxiousness. "... practice. Because actors, they do that."

Hell, someone drown me in the ocean outside.

She nodded once, a smile tickling the corners of her mouth.

"Thanks." Voice hoarse, like that of an eighty-year-old smoker, I cleared my throat - loudly - and opened the bag of Skittles, avoiding her gaze. "It's tradition. I only eat the red ones."

My phone buzzed; I picked it up.

Dani: Red is the best flavor.

"Thank God you agree. Wouldn't want to fire you on the first day." Again. Shit.

She rolled her eyes and glanced around the living room, her face impatient, making me feel like a diva.

"Alright." I popped a few red Skittles in my mouth and chewed. The sugary tartness reminded me, yet again, what day it was. D-day. The first day of shooting.

I had to be better than awesome.

"Let's do this." I faked the bravado in my voice, straightened my shoulders, and threw on my Ray Bans like I'd done a million times on the first day on set. Nerves would always be a part of my job. The minute I was no longer nervous would be the minute I needed to get out of the business.

I started the truck and tossed my bag of Skittles in the cup holder while Dani buckled her seatbelt.

Hands shaking, I gripped the steering wheel, hoping it would somehow center me. I was still reeling from the scene I'd played out in my head.

Of her skin.

Of her freaking response.

My phone went off.

I swiped it from my front pocket.

Dani: Break a leg.

"Let's hope not." I winked then tossed the phone in with the Skittles. "But thanks, Dani. I appreciate it."

My phone went off again, but I knew Dani would throw a tantrum if I checked it while driving, so I waited an agonizing eight minutes while we drove to the secluded beach just outside town.

A few semi-trailers were parked in the normally deserted parking lot. Security was everywhere - walking around, talking in their radios. Jaymeson was standing in the middle of the beach speaking into his headset.

I swallowed the nerves and glanced down at my phone.

Dani: My dad always said nerves mean you're alive. So... today, prove why you're living. Don't think of anything else other than getting that across. Movies should be reflections of real feelings, real life. Show life.

"When did you get so smart?"

Dani shrugged and pulled the Skittles out of the cup holder then handed me another three red ones.

"Thanks." I popped them in my mouth, swirling them around with my tongue until they were tiny, chewable pieces of sugar. "Alright. I'm ready."

***

The first day always consisted of a lot of waiting. It never helped the nerves because it gave me time to over-think and over-analyze everything. Granted, I'd already done a ton of table reads with the rest of the cast. But being in costume on set brought it up to a whole different level.

Jaymeson was the good guy.

I was the bad guy.

According to Jaymeson, we were basically retelling Nat's love story and how she fell in love with AD2. Shortly after she married Alec, she had decided to pen their story, and, because of her celebrity status, it was quickly picked up by a production company. By then, Jaymeson had already staked his claim, saying he'd always wanted to play a self-absorbed jackass - I'd thought he meant Alec. And well, that had left me to play Demetri.

Which seemed semi-weird, since he and Dani were close.

Which meant in a way I was just as close? Right?

Ha. Yeah, not even one day in, and already I was losing my mind.

I was supposed to be in love with Pris, who was playing Nat, but I seriously had a rough time feeling it - or knowing that I had to kiss Dani's sister.

I'd done it a million times before, but it just felt.... weird

Add the fact that we were filming one of our makeout scenes, on the beach, on our first day, and I was already dreaming of the word cut or the sentence take five.

"You kiss my wife and enjoy it, I remove your balls in your sleep." Jaymeson said in a chipper voice as he slapped me on the back.

"Always great working with a real professional, Jaymeson, always great," I muttered.

"Here's a tip," Jaymeson whispered in a low voice so Pris couldn't hear us. "Get it done on the first take so I don't have to cause an on-set accident where I set your trailer on fire and blame it on God smiting you for being a Hollywood heathen."

"Heathen?" I repeated with a smirk. "Isn't that the part I'm playing? I thought Demetri was hot for Nat, so doesn't that mean I need to be hot for your wife? Your very..." I glanced at Pris. "... lovely wife?"

"Bastard. I should never have cast you!"

I burst out laughing. "Jay, you know I'm messing with you. I'm professional. That's why you cast me, because in a sea of Hollywood heathens, I'm the only one who wouldn't make a pass at your wife."

He shrugged. "True. Also you may be passable in the whole looks department, or so I've been told by numerous people on set."

"Jealous?"

"Hardly." He rolled his eyes. "I'm Jamie Jaymeson. Women tattoo my name on their asses and ask me to sign their boobs."

"You signed whose boobs?" Pris asked, sneaking up on our conversation.

"My grandma's," I blurted. "She's such-" I wrapped an arm around Jaymeson and squeezed. "-a huge fan."

"Right." Jaymeson coughed. "It's always such a thrill, signing elderly ladies tits. Hey, you think I should do a nursing home tour?"

"Yeah, man." I nodded. "Dream big."

"Well, then." Pris shook her head in amusement. "On that creepy note, I'm ready." She walked off to her spot on the beach.

I nodded and started to follow, when Jaymeson gripped my arm and tugged me back. "Remember, one take."

"When was the last time you did a kissing scene in one take, man? Seriously. Ever think that if I do it in one take it means we have chemistry?"

He frowned.

I nodded and jerked free. "Exactly. Hell, you should be happy if we're here all day trying to get this scene right. I may be kissing your wife, but I'm going to be thinking of someone else entirely."

"Demetri." Jaymeson nodded. "He does it for lots of dudes."

"You're an ass. You know that, right?"

"He made me a shirt that says ASS with a donkey on it, so yeah, I'm well aware."

"Good talk." I saluted him and met Pris on the blanket. She lay down on the sand while I straddled her and playfully leaned forward.

"And action," Jaymeson said in a short, angry tone.

"So, Seaside?" she asked, leaning up on her elbows.

"Seaside," I repeated, trying to stare more at her mouth than her eyes, so I really could conjure up some sort of romantic feelings or lust - anything, really.

"Did I get the real story?"

"No," I whispered. My eyes fixated on her mouth as I leaned down while she arched up. Our lips met and then, somehow, for the first time since I didn't know when, I experienced my first awkward kiss - I hit her teeth. Her freaking teeth.

The clang that could be heard around the world.

She burst out laughing.

"Shit!" I hissed, my teeth a bit jarred from impact. "Are you okay?"

Pris rubbed her mouth and gave me an amused nod.

"Cut," Jaymeson yelled then marched over. "I hate to be the one to ask this, but did you have a kissing double in your other movies? Because that was absolute crap."

I leaned back on my haunches, the chilly seaside wind biting into the back of my calves. "Sorry, sand in my eye?"

"Sand, my ass." Jaymeson grumbled. "Lips meet, do a little sliding action, tongue stays inside the mouth at all times, toss in a few groans, possibly a breathy moan." He pointed to Pris. "That's on you, love..." He rubbed his hands together. "... and things should be great. Think you can handle that, Linc?"

"Yeah." Beads of nervous sweat broke out all over my skin and threatened to freeze there as the cold wind struck me. Just wonderful. On my first day I'd managed to physically assault my co-star. "No problem."

"Great." He walked back to his spot.

I hovered over Pris again.

"Take two."

The scene was slated again. Nerves attacked every cell in my body as I managed to steal a glance at everyone on set. Already they looked irritated, from the sound tech to the makeup artist. The worst possible thing was shooting a scene in weather, either freezing your ass off or burning to death, only to have the actor forget every damn line.

"So, Seaside?" Pris asked more gentle this time, her soft brown eyes danced with humor.

"Seaside." I leaned down, like I was going to kiss her, not part of the script, but I was trying to get myself in the right state of mind, which, to me was always the breaking point before the kiss, where you're thinking about it and the person you want to kiss knows you're thinking about it - anticipation was the best part.

"Do I get the real story?"

I hesitated purposefully. Eyelids heavy, I focused on her lips, licking my own slowly, methodically.

And I felt it.

Not the lust.

But her.

Dani.

I don't know how the hell I felt her, maybe I really was losing my mind at twenty-two. Out of the corner of my eye, her grey Converse flashed next to Jaymeson's flip flops.

"No." I leaned down, my lips rubbing against Pris's. As promised, I kept my tongue in my mouth but nibbled her bottom lip like it was the sweetest delicacy I'd ever tasted in my entire existence. My tongue swiped along the seam of her lips as I dug my hands into her hair and deepened the kiss, tugging her body upward. Her hand pressed against my chest. I grabbed it then shoved it away. The kiss was supposed to be aggressive, elusive, then suddenly angry.

She moaned.

And I felt absolutely nothing.

No blood rushing into all the wrong places, which wasn't the norm at all. If anything, it was awkward as hell being turned on during a scene, but it was simple human anatomy. If you were turned on, your body was going to show it, regardless of if you wanted it to or not.

"Cut," Jaymeson hissed.

I pulled back and grinned.

"Wow." Pris wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "Well done, Linc."

"Oh, please." Jaymeson joined us. "The first time he tried was like watching an awkward turtle on its back."

"Thanks, man."

"Any time." Jaymeson flashed a grin. "We need to set up for the next shot, so you can take a few minutes and check out your trailer while I go make sure they haven't burned the house down."

"House?"

"For the party," Jaymeson explained. "Also the set for the music video. We're going to kill two birds with one stone."

"Great."

Jaymeson frowned. "Are you alright?"

"Huh?" I jerked my head away from Dani and felt my face heat. "Yeah. Sure. Why? Don't I look alright?" Shoot me now.

"Showing up drunk on the first day is frowned upon," Jaymeson whispered under his breath.

"Not drunk." I started walking away and pointed behind me. "I'm gonna go take that break."