He wanted to follow Kai's wishes, he wanted to try living by getting help but how? Every time he sees Kole, he reminded him of Kai, that perfect visage.
"Doctor, tell me... can you cure me?" Sky's tears streamed down his face blurring the image of the man in front of him.
He clasped Kole's hand with both his cold and bone-skin hands. He held on to it tightly and gradually brought it to his now drenched cheeks, caressing his face as if the person in front of him was his lover.
"Tell me that you can cure me, I'm in too much pain. I lived in an illusion of my husband, I can see and talk to him as if he is here. As if my husband... as if my husband is beside me." He continued telling everything to Kole. Everything that he closely kept in his heart for the past long years.
Kole watched him with so much care, this man, who had a beautiful heart and soul was grieving over a deceased beloved. How many people can love this much? How many Sky was there in the world? How many were those who stop living when they lost a special person in their life?
"Kai," he chuckled lightly remembering his deceased husband. "Kai was an idiot. Did you know that when he took me on our first date he panicked? He panicked so much that he kept on tripping on his own feet." Laughter along with tears was the scene in Kole's eyes.
"He brought me to an expensive restaurant 'cause he was trying to impress me but his money was not enough to pay the bill," he let out another loud laugh, his eyes sparkling but it was not clear if it was due to his tears or to the happy feeling he had while thinking of Kai.
"I had to call my mom to pay for our food. That idiot, he could just bring me to a simple diner or we can sit in the park while watching the stars and drinking some beer. He could have just held my hand while we walk and giggle. He always gives his extra effort to me... doctor, I haven't even expressed my love as he did. I have not told him enough that I love him. I failed as a husband."
Sky lowered his head and grab tighter to Kole's hand.
"How can I live if I have so much guilt in my heart? How can I forget if all that's in my mind were things he did for me? He made me his world but I took that for granted."
All that was heard was Sky's crying. Kole's heart was pricked witnessing the scene in front of him. He wanted to hug Sky but will that help? He wanted to pat his back but will that help?
It's the first time in his entire career that he hesitates to do things for a patient. He usually knew when a patient needed a pat or a hug but why can't he decide with Sky? Why was he like this to Sky?
He doesn't want Sky to see him as Kai. As a doctor, he does not want to satisfy his patient's issues. They need to wake up from their dream. Patient-doctor relationship, right, this was the most sensible reason he could think of.
But why was there a prick in his heart? something that he did not feel with other patients. "Kai knew how much you love him. He felt your love and care for him. Sky, your husband..."
Kole placed his right hand above Sky's both hands. The three hands that were clasped together before now became four, holding tighter, giving the crying man a sense of security.
"... your husband left the world knowing that you love him." he continued.
He speaks to Sky with so much assurance, positivity, and comfort. This was what he wanted Sky to feel but... "You talk as if you met him," Sky said with sarcasm. "How can you be so sure, doctor? Don't makeup anything to fool me!" this time Sky's voice was higher than usual.
The crying man a moment ago now yells at Kole. Sky knew his husband well, how can this doctor just spout nonsense? He very well knew that he did not give his all when Kai was still alive, how would Kai feel it? Nonsense!
"I said help me not fool me!" He let out another scream.
He stood up and with all his strength cleared everything that was on the table. The food was scattered on the littered floor. Sky screams and screams choked from his crying.
Kole did not expect this reaction at all. He thought that his words will go through Sky's heart. Why? Why was he making such a mistake?
Brushing off all those questions in his mind, Kole quickly grabbed Sky and embraced him tightly. He locked him in his arms not letting Sky go. He brushed Sky's hair gently while repeating the words, "I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I will watch my word in the future." Kole said gently. When did he say sorry to a patient like this? He needed to control himself.
They stayed like that for a while. Kole lets Sky cry as much as he wants in his embrace until Sky dozes off.
He carried him inside the dark messy room, tuck him well in a ragged bed, and watched him sleep. He wanted to leave but his feet won't move, he seems to enjoy watching Sky sleeps and at the same time he's afraid that if he leaves Sky might wake up and cry again. He doesn't want him to cry without someone by his side.
He stayed awake until dawn just watching the sleeping man then decides to leave before the sun shone. Sky hasn't eaten anything last night so he will buy food again. No, he will prepare the food himself before Sky wakes up.
Looking for the last time, Kole walked towards the door to leave.
"Kole... watch out!"
Like a magnet pulling him back with much force, Kole quickly turned back to look at Sky. His eyes contain anticipation, and his heart was expecting something from those words but... what he saw was a sleeping man.It was only a dream. A dream he badly wanted to know. For now, he could only hope that one day Sky will get better and continue to live his life so he could live his life too.Kole closed the door of the house double checking if it was safely locked before leaving. He was thinking of what to cook for breakfast that will suit Sky's taste and will not trigger his memory of Kai."Kole?" Just when he got out a voice in her fifties called out.Kole froze in place. That voice was too familiar, his heart pounded so fast and his throat moved up and down sending tense feelings to his stomach. This was one of the voices he did not want to remember nor wanted to see."Is that you?" asked the woman.Kole did not dare to look back nor dare to make any sound. He wanted to move but his fee
“Did… did we lose them?” Sky asks the person heavily panting beside him. They have been running for so long.“I don’t know… let’s find somewhere to hide first,” answered the person. His face was blurry and his whole body was drenched with sweat. Both of them ran towards the thick bush to hide their slim figures. It was around six in the evening and they were cornered in a forest away from the city.The two boys were nervous and helpless. They had been running for nearly two hours now. They barely escaped from the black van that took them in front of their school if not for the tactics used by the boys.“Sky, even if you are feverish, we have to leave here alive, okay?” the boy said in a commanding tone with no room to debate. He was determined to save Sky and himself. He still wanted to go home and eat his favorite hot pot and stir-fry bullfrog. They needed to survive and surviving means taking risks. If the worst scenario happened, at least Sky should leave here alive.They were out
It was around eight in the morning when Kole arrived at Sky's house. Sleeping was not his best friend; he was always forcibly woken up by his mind. "Sky, I brought you breakfast." He had his unabashed smile hanging on his face while waving the wrapped food in his hand. "Doctor, I... I already had my breakfast." Scratching his head lightly, Sky answered him honestly. "Oh?" For the past few days, he noticed that Sky was not fond of eating breakfast, "then, I have an idea. This food should not go to waste." Kole said in high spirits. He can take advantage of this situation to slowly open Sky's closed heart and the food should not go to waste, last night was enough. "Can I come in?" asked Kole cheerily. Kole has been standing outside the whole time. The first time he visited, he let himself in. This time he wanted Sky to invite him in or to allow him to come in. This will help him assimilate if Sky was ready to accept people in his safe zone. Kole caught the uneasiness lurking in Sky'
Sky's physique can be described as skin and bone, his cheeks and eyes sunken, and his lips have few cracks even his wrist can be encircled by one's thumb and index finger. It was the result of years of eating unhealthy food. Despite this, the beauty he had can't be denied. This past few days, Sky's mood improved, and his eyes had little light in them. Unaware of his action, Kole slowly approached where Sky was. His eyes fixed on that sweaty-innocent face. Bit by bit he lifted his hand planning to remove the hair sticking near Sky's eyes. Kole stared at Sky full of yearning, his eyes nostalgic and his head muddled. The air around them feels humid, adding spice to the scene. "Doctor?" Sky called out. He didn't know exactly what happened to the doctor. Sky was befuddled by the situation. Does the doctor need anything? Was he going to take the box from him? But he can carry it on his own. Sky felt a little awkward seeing the doctor get closer and closer to him. Kole continues to sta
What's fulfillment, what's the meaning of happiness, and what's... love? Was it seventeen years ago that he first met Sky? The image of the boy in the dinosaur cosplay was still vivid in his memories. The boy in a dinosaur outfit was standing outside the closed store waiting for a taxi to come but as though luck wasn't on his side, the rain suddenly poured and the poor dinosaur seeks shelter. The only shelter he saw was the black RV parked in front of him. The dinosaur was left with no choice, he ran towards the RV and knocked as if his life depended on it. Knock! Knock! "Let me take shelter, please." the dinosaur boy said. The boy wearing a minion outfit hurriedly open the door for the dinosaur boy to enter. The dinosaur boy barge in and quickly finds the khaki color sofa to sit on. His hair was slightly damped and his outfit had some traces of rain. The minion boy was standing in front of him, dazed, staring at him without blinking. "Are you okay?" the dino boy asked. The mi
The brilliant sun continued to illuminate the earth, blinding the eyes of the person in front of Sky. For a moment, Kole saw flashes of happy memory he had kept hidden in his heart. For a moment, he saw tears and agony in those memories. The scene that Sky saw was too blurry to identify the boy in his mind. It could be considered a complete Deja vu but Kole instead had his hand frozen in Sky's head. Forcing himself to act natural, he asked Sky, "What? What do you mean?"His face turning pale, he was thinking of the perfect alibi to every possible answer that Sky will give. At most, he can't let him remember him or all these sacrifices will be in vain.He got everything planned out; he will cure Sky and completely vanish from his life after. However, now, Sky's question was troubling him. Did he become the trigger?"Just now, I saw a blurry image that I didn't remember at all," he said scratching his head with puzzlement.Hearing his response, Kole breathed a sigh of relief, "oh. May
Before, he thought, maybe it was just a coincidence that the doctor had the same appearance as his deceased husband, that the boy in his dreams and the doctor had the same name. Everything could be just a coincidence but... "We have never talked about what I want and what I like," he wanted to brush it off, the feeling of being toyed with, lied to, and constantly being kept in the dark. The doctor had helped him, and Kole did so much with patience. Maybe, Kole was a friend from before. Maybe, Kai's face was just so ordinary that there will be a perfect copy of him, maybe... maybe... "Tell me, who are you?" he couldn't hide his emotion anymore, his blood boiling from confusion, his mind was too muddled he cannot fathom the situation. "Please, tell me, are you that boy in my dream?" He knew it was crazy to ask Kole about this, he could be jumping to conclusions and he might not be that boy but what can he do? Clues and shreds of evidence were already laid in front of him. It might n
[TW: Kidnapping.] Taking a deep breath, Kole started to speak, "It was seventeen years ago when we first met..." After he and Sky became lovers that rainy night, Kole started to pick up Sky at his school. Kole was in an All-Boys School while Sky was in a mixed-gender Private School. Every day, after school, Kole will quickly leave to wait for Sky outside the school gate. He will always wait for his baby to come out from that gold, high towering gate of the luxurious school. And every day he will bring Sky a gift, yesterday it was an apple, then a sandwich, dumplings, sometimes gardenia flowers, a plumeria, and a blue rose. Whatever he could think of that looks pretty or will suit Sky he will undoubtedly bring. A cute and pure love between them who were in the prime of their youth. "Sky! Here." A surge of students wearing gold yellow skirts and pants with white upper long-sleeved and yellow gold neckties walked outside of the school gate. Even if it's a hundred or a thousand stude