Still loving you

I still madly in love with Jake, even thought I need to get responsibilities with all the mistakes I've been done to Ethan.

It was a shame he was taken so young. Maybe if Ethan had been a good beta like Jake then this wouldn't have happened, maybe we could be happy and healthy as a family.

But no matter what I did it was just not working out. I mean, it's not as if Ethan wanted to break up, he didn't want to end things because of me. He would probably say it was better that way, but deep down I know that's not true. It's my fault for being such an asshole to him.

I should at least tell him how much I care about him, make sure he knows I won't do anything stupid. It will hurt him though, I can already feel it. He is too nice to say anything, but I know when something is wrong with me and when he's upset with me he doesn't talk about it either.

I'm just scared he'll stop talking to me if I tell him how much I truly love him. I'll never understand why he chose me. I'm not perfect, I m