While we’re in the condo, I can’t seem to pacify my feelings right now. I still keep on thinking what could be the reason why Calvin didn’t show up on my birthday yesterday.
That wasn’t the first time he did that.
Curiosity keeps on bugging me.
But why do I keep on forgiving him?
I looked at my wristwatch, he’s my boyfriend, yes, but why does my world revolve around him. Yes, I love him but is this still, right?
I took a deep breath, went on fixing the dining table. I wonder if this dinner will be memorable.
I almost fell from the chair in shock.
It was Calvin, he was hugging me from the back.
“Your mind seems preoccupied?” I just smiled at him and faced him.
“I’m thinking about us,” I said.
Calvin’s forehead immediately creases.
“What about us?”
“Just some random things, I wondered how many times did you make me cry?” I said then stood up.
He sat in front of me then he pretended like he didn’t hear anything at all.
I just shook my head and sat in front of him. I’m still pissed that he didn’t come to my birthday but I can never stay mad at him. God knows how many times I tried to keep myself from hating this man but no matter what I just can’t.
“Let’s eat.” He said.
But I didn’t move.
He looked at me annoyed, he’s starting to get angry.
“Why do you keep on doing this to me?” I asked without hesitation.
I badly wanted to know the reason.
His jaw tightened, he was calming himself.
“Andrea.” He called me by my first name.
When Calvin starts to call me by my first name it’s a sign that he’s already mad and deadly serious.
“I don’t want to fight with you, I want us to be okay.” He said firmly.
I shot him a glare.
“Then act like you’re my boyfriend,” I yelled. I was keeping it together but I felt like I wanted to avenge all my resentment on him.
“I already said that I’m sorry. What else do you want?” He asked.
He was looking at me so intently.
I looked away because I know myself, I would be bought by his stares again.
“Sorry? You’re always sorry. Every time you’ll do something that will hurt me. You say sorry, sorry for this, sorry for that but did you actually consider that mere fact about my feelings?” I asked, tears started to fall.
“Do you actually know na I feel jealous for the girls out there flaunting their relationship publicly. I idolize how their boyfriends flaunt them in public.” I said with a smile.
He looked at me with sadness in his eyes.
“I wanted to experience those things, I wanted them to know that I was taken. I do have a boyfriend who will pick me up outside of my classroom, the one who just won’t look at me from a distance. Those kinds of things,”
“Lov--”
I cut him off.
“I wanted to feel those things but then I realized I was your secret girlfriend.” I laugh awkwardly.
He stood up.
“Don’t touch me,” I said.
He tried to reach for my hands again but I took a step back.
“Andrea, please don’t fight with me right now,” He said.
I wiped my tears away.
“This wasn’t a good idea, having dinner with you right now.”
I grabbed my things and went for the door.
I didn’t look back because again if I saw his sad face, I might get soft yet again for him. I didn’t want to go home because I knew I’ll just cry a bucket of tears.
So I texted Rachel, thank god she replied fast.
Where are you?
I’m in the bar, why?
Can I join?
Are you serious? Won’t Calvin get mad at you?
The hell I care.
You’re on. I’ll wait for you.
The place was crowded, it was noisy but then I needed this.
Rachel waved her hand at me, she was with some of our classmates. As soon as I reached their table, I immediately drank one of the alcohol.
“You’re on fire girl,” Rachel said.
I wanted to forget things, things like how Calvin and my parents always stood up to me.
Every shot they gave me, I drank it willingly. I wanted to get drunk tonight, just for this day.
“Here, another shot for you.” Rachel.
I was about to reach the shot glass from her hand when someone snatches it away from me.
“Really, after getting out from the hospital you’ll drink?”
It was Tobi.
He looked at me angrily.
I looked away.
“Rachel is this how you care for your friend?” He asked.
Rachel raised both of her hands.
“Chill man,” Jerome said, one of our classmates.
Tobi pretended like he didn’t hear anything.
“We’re going,” He declared.
He faced me and made me stood up but I barely managed to stand up on my own that’s why Tobi assisted me into his car.
He didn’t start the car. He was just sitting in the driver’s seat.
I didn’t say anything, I don’t know what to say but then tears started to fall again.
I was crying for myself.
“Can you please enlighten me on why the fuck am I hurting myself? I keep on loving the same person over and over again.” I said then looked at the stars. “I gave him everything but why does it look like it’s not enough?”
He didn’t say anything.
“It’s very funny because they say there are so many men out there who like me yet I’m making myself miserable for a man,” I remembered so many times, the men will approach asking if they can court me or they can get my number. I would say ‘no’.
He started the car.
“Where do I drop you off?” He asked.
I don’t want to go home because for sure, Calvin is there waiting for me.
“Please take me anywhere else,” I said.
He took a deep breath and said. “Sometimes you just have to accept the fact that love does not work the way you want it.”
When I woke up I was so shocked to find myself in a different room. I immediately looked at myself to see if I still had clothes and thank god I was still wearing the same clothes. I tried to stand up but stopped when I felt the handover came in, my whole fucking head hurts. Damn this hangover. “Good Morning,” I almost jumped out of bed because of shock. “Tobi?” I was about to speak again but he threw a paper bad at me. “What’s this?” “Clothes.” I took a peek at what is inside, my eyes widened when I saw undergarments. “There’s the CR. Feel free to use anything,”
I felt the world collapsed.“He’s what?”Tobi stared at me. “He’s married, Andrea.”I turned my gaze to Calvin, his eyes were watering.At that moment, I did calculations on myself. He wanted no know to know about our relationship, he hid me. He never posted pictures of me.I closed my eyes for a second.“Calvin, please tell me Tobi’s lying. He’s not telling the truth right?”I was praying for him to say no, to say that Tobi’s making things up. He can’t be married, he can’t have a wife because he promised to me that I’ll be the person he’ll
The next day I didn’t bother getting out of bed. I was awake but stayed in bed until late noon although this wasn’t my place, no one bothered me until past noon.“Are you gonna stay there until you starve?”Someone said.I didn’t speak nor move.He looked at me and said. “Will you not really get up on your own?”I nodded.I was shocked when he pulled the duvet away from me.“What is your problem?” I complained.“Get up.” He said and left the room.I was forced to get u
It wasn’t easy to forget but I did everything I could to avoid Calvin, I would go to school early and in the meantime, I stayed in my parent's house.House helpers were shocked to see me arrive at our house with all the luggage with me.The landlord of the apartment I’ve rented near the school called me several times informing me that Calvin is always there waiting for me. Sometimes he would even stay until the next morning, hoping to see me.“What’s with the sullen look?”I glanced at Rachel.I smiled at her. “I look sad but I’m okay, a little bit more space and I’ll eventually reach the destination.”Maria hugged me.Rachel stood up. “Why are we making this a drama, since there are no classes for the rest of the day. Let’s go shopping.”Maria and I laughed, before we could respond to Rachel’s suggestion she dragged us with her.When we arrived at the Mall, we
Morning came and rumors flew so fast. The moment I stepped foot on the school premises, eyes were watching me and added to the fact that Tobi is walking by my side.“Why did you have to go with me?”He looked at me with bored eyes. “Who decided to sleep again in our house?”I suddenly looked around, roamed my eyes around just in case someone heard what he said. I glanced at him again and took notice of the wood near his lip and cheek.“Are you okay?” I asked.He nodded without looking at me.I was about to speak again when someone yelled my name and it was Rachel.“Andrea.”I turned my gaze at Rachel, and she was running towards me.“Bitch, I came from your apartment. No one is there, where did you sleep?” She asked and looked at me intently.I remained quiet and as if on cue she looked at the guy standing beside me, it was Tobi.“Oookay. You don’t have to t
The whole ride going to my apartment was extremely quiet, Tobi didn’t speak neither did I.My parents insisted that I should ride with them but I said no.I wanted to be left alone for the night and also talk to Tobi.“We’re here.” He said.I faced him.“Did you know about this?” I asked.He didn’t speak, he remained quiet.I pressed my lips together.“Tobi, I’m asking you. Did you know about this arranged marriage?”Tobi still didn’t speak.“Tobi!” I yelled his name.How can he remain quiet in this kind of situation?It’s frustrating.He looked at me.“If I knew, what could possibly happen? What will change?” He asked.“Even if we're classmates. If you knew about this beforehand, you could have at least told me.”He gripped the steering wheel so tight.“Andrea, listen to me. If you thin
I got used to Tobi being around with me almost most of the time. He’s like everywhere but sometimes Tobi would deny my existence from time to time.Maria and Rachel still don't know that after graduation I’m supposed to get married to Tobi.“Are you dropping me off today?” I asked Tobi.We were seatmates today in this particular class.“No, you’re staying in our place again.” He replied.“What do you mean?” I asked.He’s still reading his book, while talking to me.“Your parents informed me that they’ll be leaving the country again, they want you to stay at o
Rachel laughed when she saw me choking on my own drink, while Tobi on the other hand remained calm and handed me some tissues.Maria is just shaking her head in disbelief.“What the fuck are you talking about, Rachel?” I yelled at her.She was still laughing so hard that I had to throw some bread at her.She’s so annoying.Tobi stood up and left when his phone rang.“I’ll be back.” He said.I nodded at her and glanced at Rachel.“Have you gone nuts, Rachel? What the fuck is wrong with you?” I said,Rachel stopped herself from laughing.“I was just asking since you’ve been sleeping here for the past few days.” She replied.Maria smacked her head out.“Oww. What the fuck.” Rachel complained.“Can you please at least filter the words that are coming out of your mouth? This is Tobi’s place, learn to respect.” Maria said.Ra