Chapter Seven

When Sebastian woke the next morning he found himself trapped underneath a solidly sleeping child. Jaxsen’s head was turned away and resting solely on his chest. His arm rested along Sebastian’s abdomen, clutching a petite handful of Sebastian’s shirt. Sebastian drew lazy patterns slowly along Jaxsen’s back before laying his hand flat. He felt the boy’s breathing and frowned. It was short and hitching. 

“Jaxsen?” The only response he received from the diminutive figure was him curling tighter around him and a stronger grip of shirt in his little hand. “Jack, sweet boy, what’s the matter? Come here.”

Sebastian pulled him up to where Jaxsen’s head was tucked underneath his chin easily and without protest. Jaxsen clung tightly to Sebastian and tried to control his emotions. It seemed, however, that the more he tried to reign them in, the more rampant they ran. Sebastian kissed his head and stroked his hair and spoke softly to him, which broke his resolve.

With a deep breath he plunged, “I had a bad d-dream o-of…about my mommy and daddy.”

“Oh, I see.” Sebastian kissed his hair again. 

“I saw it happen, Bastian. I saw them. They would have killed me, too, but he couldn’t find me. Mommy hid me away in the safe room, but I could still see.” He looked Sebastian in the eye and the raw pain in those azure eyes broke his heart. “I miss them, Bastian. I want them back, Bastian, I want them back!”

And the tears fell unbidden as Sebastian gathered the broken little boy more completely into his grasp, enfolding his arms around him. He held him, bracing him, embracing him, and holding tightly as together they rode out the storm. Jaxsen’s wails viciously yanked at Sebastian’s heartstrings as he called for Mommy and Daddy; as he begged Sebastian to bring them back to him.

When he found out about Glen and Sara Michaels’ untimely deaths, Sebastian felt his cardiovascular system fail, his blood ran cold and his airway compressed to a point where no oxygen could pull through. He had been glad he was alone when the devastation hit. However, when the shock wore off from the news, he began searching for Jaxsen Michaels; the only child of his dearest friends and his God Son. He was angry he had not been contacted by New York social services until he knew the exact date of the murders. December 17, 2013. He knew that date well enough but for his own horrors. He had been two years deep in Bosnia. His last year in the service of his country. That last mission of Black Ops got a little too black and at end of all the bloodshed and in its finale, Sebastian Green opted out. He couldn’t blame himself for what happened to Jaxsen and could only try to teach him to grieve. Something he highly suspected the boy never was able to do. And he knew still these were not the last tears his shirt would soak up over this subject; just as he knew this would not be the last nightmare he soothed from the boy’s mind.

“Jaxsen, come here for a minute,” Sebastian called as he walked through the door. He wasn’t sure what kind of fight he was in for at the conclusion of this conversation, and admittedly he was nervous about how the boy would react to this news. Jaxsen came bounding down the stairs with the exuberance of any eight-year-old boy.

“What’s up, Bastian?” Sebastian set down his grocery bags on the kitchen table.

“Come here for a minute, I wanna talk to you for a bit.” Sebastian noticed the boy pale and smiled to reassure him. “Come sit with me,” Sebastian said as he sat down on the couch.

He was hesitant to join him on his usual side of the couch but did as he asked. “A-am I in trouble?”

Nizhoni, who had been watching Jaxsen while Sebastian went grocery shopping and run some errands, began automatically putting away the groceries quietly in the kitchen. She sighed sadly as she looked at the boy’s frightened expression. She knew that fear. She looked at Sebastian but his gaze was fixed on Jaxsen.

“No, Jack, you’re not in trouble, sweet boy. Nothing like that. While I was out today I registered you into the local elementary school. Summer is almost up and you need to be in school. You’ve been with me now for a little over five weeks and I feel that you’ve had enough time to settle in here and that you’re ready to go to school. What do you think?”

Jaxsen sat quietly staring at his hands that were folded limply in his lap. He sniffled and shrugged. His mind screamed at him to suck it up. Stop crying. Take it like a man! A mantra he’d heard so many times before. As his mind spiraled out of his grasp he lost any conception of reality; his thoughts ran away with whispered accusations trailing behind him. He jumped, a whimper escaping his lips, as he found himself being lifted into Sebastian’s arms. 

“What’s wrong, sweet boy?”

“Do I have to go, Bastian?”

Sebastian smiled lightly and rubbed his back up and down, flat-palmed. “You need to go to school, Jack.” He nodded and looked away, biting his lower lip. He said something that Sebastian didn’t catch. After some cajoling Jaxsen repeated his question. And then Sebastian at once understood the boy’s trepidation and hugged him close.

“Will you still be here when I get home?” There was a plea laced within that question Sebastian felt should never emerge from someone so young. 

“Oh, sweet boy.” He kissed his temple. “How about I make you a deal, okay?” Jaxsen nodded, his head resting against his chest, while Sebastian’s chin rested atop his head. “Now, I can’t do it every day, but how about I come and pick you up from school a few days a week?”

Jaxsen smiled though it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’d like that, Bastian. You promise you’ll pick me up?”

Sebastian smiled trying to keep the sadness from the expression. “I promise, Jack. How about I pick you up on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? How’s that sound? I already talked to Nizhoni, and she can pick you up on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Okay?”

“How come you can’t pick me up every day?”

“Well, because during the school year I teach a writing class on those days and they run later than you’re in school.” Sebastian pushed a stray lock of blond hair behind the boy’s ear. “You won’t be left there, sweet boy.”