4

After breakfast we quickly get cleaned up, then we leave, borrowing Emma’s mums car

“Let’s go shopping”

She says grinning at me

“All my clothes were burned so I need everything”

In Emma’s world that was a dream come true, she makes shopping for an entirely new wardrobe sounds like it was the silver lining to her house burning to the ground.

“Ofcourse, that should be fun”

I try to sound enthusiastic as I answer, I didn’t want to go but I know this was probably the last time I would be spending time with her alone so I planned to make the most of it.

We walk in and out of one shop after the other, for hours and hours. Emma clearly had a blast as I stand back and watch her shop.

It was different to shop when you had an unlimited budget, I spent most of my time in thrift stores, getting the best price possible.

Lastly we go to Victoria secrets, i desperately needed a new bra, if i'm lucky I might grab one on sale.

So I head straight to the rack as Emma is busy filling her basket full of raunchy underwear for Matt.

Then I saw the most beautiful golden bodice, the same colour as the flecks in my eye. I immediately start jumping on the spot when I see the price tag, I could afford both the bodice and the black bra that sat beside it.

I was so excited we were giddy the whole way home, well we were until the moment my house came into view. That’s the moment my stomach drops and my body goes stiff, filling with dread for what was to come.

As the car rolls to a stop I nervously look to my hands, clenching them and unclenching them. The thought of not seeing her for a while killed me but I had to be strong for her.

“It’s going to be weird not seeing you everyday”

She tells me sadly, popping open the glove box

“I know, but just imagine all the amazing adventures you will go on, you will be so busy you won’t need me”

She grabs a box, shaking her head

“I’ll always need you, here this is your birthday present. I’m going to miss it so I want to see your face as you open it”

I smile taking the small box, I pull the paper of it, it was a small green ring box. I look to her smiling, she smiles back nodding to the box.

I wasn’t use to presents so the feeling was a little foreign to me, what if I hated it?

I take a breath and pull the lid open and smile. Inside was a white gold ring, the middle held a small wolf howling into the air at a single diamond that represents the moon.

It was beautiful, making me tear up slightly.

“When we wear this we know we aren’t alone”

She says taking my hand and showing me her ring

“When I was 18, mum got me the same one to match hers. It means when we look at it that we remember those who wear the same thing as we smile because we are never alone in this world. Me and mum thought you should be part of that too”

I pull it on my finger, wiping the tear from my cheek as I look to her, I pull her into a crushing hug as my heart shatters. She was leaving and I would miss her so much.

“Promise me you make your life with Matt amazing, promise me that you will love every day as much as the last but most of all stay safe and keep In Touch”

She hugs me back tighter

“I love you lilly, I promise I’ll ring you everyday”

As I pull away and I chuckle, she was crying too.

“Such messes”

I say laughing as I wipe my tears.

I reach for the door, opening it and climbing out.

“Chat you when you get settled in ok?”

I say to her, she grins waving at me. More tears falling down her cheeks

“I promise”

With that I close the door, taking a deep breath as I run inside, closing the door behind me as I fall to my ass and I cry.

My heart was breaking, the only person I had in the world was leaving and it hurt worse than I ever expected it too.

After a few minutes I dry my tears, pulling myself together and I climb the stairs to my room. I immediately throw my clothes into the small suitcase I had in the attic.

It held the only things I felt attached to in the world, I didn’t have much but that’s why I hid it. If my father found it he would burn it just for fun.

When I was satisfied everything was put away safely I start on dinner, tonight he would have pasta bake and fresh veg. I ate as I cooked, knowing fine rightly that I wouldn’t be allowed any otherwise.

Then I hear the front door opening, my body goes stiff. Fear tingling my insides, spreading throughout my body as my heart rate accelerates. Only getting worse when I hear his low territorial growl. I take a breath trying to shake the fear off as I clear my throat

“Dinner will be served in 5”

I tell him putting my head down as I start to plate everything up. He walks into the room, taking a seat at the table. My hands instantly start to shake as I swallow the lump in my throat.

I bring his plate to him, placing it on the table in front of him just as my belly rumbles in hunger. His face screws up in disgust as he points to the seat opposite me.

“Sit down and watch me eat”

Stupid fucking stomach! If it didn’t rumble he would have let me leave. I bite my tongue and take a seat opposite him.

“Where were you last night? How dare you Tramp around and give me a bad name!”

He spits the words at me, My eyes snap to his offended that even he would think that of me.

“I was working late so I stayed with Emma after”

He growls, spitting the veg out of his mouth and onto the plate.

“Disgusting as usual! Here take it you mutt”

He throws the plate at me, it bounces off my arm as I cover my face, landing on the table and shattering. He laughs as I tremble, terrified of what he was going to do next.

“Aw it looks like your going to bed hungry tonight!”

I take a deep breath, ignoring him as I start to clean up his mess. My body trembles as I pick up each individual piece and place it in the bin. He gets up and walks out, going to the living room. When I hear the tv turn on my body relaxes a little as I quickly clean everything up and I sneak to the room with some leftover peeled carrots in my pocket.

As I reach my room I quickly lock the door taking a breath, I always felt better behind the locked door, but unfortunately it didn’t always work.

On far to many occasions I have woke up with him on top of me, he had broken the locks and raped me. Each time I would get a stronger lock, sometimes I place a chair against the door but in most cases I lay awake until I know he’s sleeping.

My body would go into fight of flight mode, my mind shutting down as I try to live with the fact that my father is a monster and it’s not safe to be around him.

I eat my carrots, huddled up in the corner, thinking about my life. It had gotten harder this last year especially. Normally dad would have girlfriends and he would spend his time with them but since his last one dumped him he has become even more terrifying.

That’s when the sexual abuse started, it’s why I sleep with one eye open. It’s the only thing I can’t bring myself to say out loud. I can’t even tell Emma, it just hurts to much to think about never mind talk about.

When I know he’s in his room and I hear him snoring I finally allow my body to relax and I get some sleep.

As my eyes open from my dreamless sleep I grin. Today I was 18, today I would get my wolf, today I wouldn’t be defenceless.

I quickly get up, excited to finally feel like part of the pack. I decide against a shower since I’ll need one after anyway, so instead I pull on loose clothing and head downstairs to make dad his breakfast.

I work faster than normal, the excitement building inside me urging me on so I could finally meet her.

I place his food on the table, shaking myself a little as I build up the courage to call him.

“Breakfasts up”

I call, taking another gulp of coffee and dropping it in the sink. I hear his footsteps behind me, my heart rate accelerating as I turn to leave out the back of the house.

As I place my hand on the handle he suddenly grabs me by the hair, yanking me back as he sticks his knee in my back.

I scream out as the pain splits through my back, tears pooling in my eyes

“Happy birthday princess! You didn’t forget about your annual birthday beating now did you?”

He growls against my ear, my body going stiff as his breath fans my throat. The smell of alcohol and dead smoke hitting me, making my stomach turn as all the thoughts of the things he had done come straight to the forefront of my mind.

Tears run down my cheeks as I clench my eyes closed, trying to rid myself of the memories of what happened.

He flings me across the floor, slamming me into the corner of the kitchen island. I gasp as my other rib breaks

But as I try to lift myself of the floor he growls, kicking me hard in the stomach, knocking all the wind from my lungs as he repeatedly pounds into me. Tears blind me as I cry out in pain.

His fist connects with my eye socket next, my vision blurring as he aims for my nose, breaking it.

I scream out in pain as he grabs my hair, yanking me off the floor as I cough, trying to find the oxygen that I need. My heart rate beating way to fast, deafening me as the blood pumps through my ears.

As he holds me, hovering above the ground he knees me in the ribs, my body going limp as he takes all his issues out on me. My mind taking over, blocking me out as he continues his ruthless attack, my body giving up as we pass out from a mixture of pain and probably a bad concussion too.

—

As my eyes open they felt like sandpaper, everything hurt, I was even finding it hard to breathe.

My body was covered in blood, sticking my clothes to my body as I push myself off the floor. I manage to open the back door before I fall, unable to walk.

I pull myself towards the forest, to tired and sore to care if anyone sees me. I needed to shift or I was sure that this time he would kill me and I wasn’t ready to die. It was dark outside, making it even harder to see with fuzzy vision. I must have lay there all day.

As I make it to the tree line I take a breath, laying on my back as I look to the tops of the trees. I wasn’t exactly sure how I shift but I was hoping my wolf did. I lay there for what felt like hours trying to breathe through the pain. If my wolf wasn’t coming tonight I really believe I wouldn't survive this beating.