I paused, staring at him with my heart beating fast. "Sorry, I'm not interested. Thank you." I replied while fighting off the tremors growing in my chest.
I started to walk out of the balcony, but his words kept me from doing it.
"You remember me, Amanda."
It's not a question, it's a statement. Of course he knew that because I was so easy to read. Everyone says the same thing, I'm like an open book in front of anyone.
Yes, I'm such a loser.
His hazel eyes stared at me intently. A different look from the one Jordan always used when looking at me. He seemed to want to dominate and there was something behind his hazel eyes that made no one want to take their eyes off him.
His head tilted like he wanted to strip my mind.
I gulped, "Yeah, I remember you. You're an asshole who took my virginity when I was drunk, and so easily left a woman in the morning with a million dollar check, an expensive dress, a note, and treated me like a cheap bitch." I answered at length, unable to cover my anger. "Well, it doesn't matter anymore."
This is the anger I've wanted to throw at the right man for a long time. Right now, it was either bad luck or good luck that I was finally able to do it right in front of him. Something I never thought of.
"I don't think of you that way." He argued with his Spanish accent.
Something bothered me.
"Yes, you think of me that way."
"That's still better than a woman giving up her virginity for her boyfriend for nothing."
"So you're saying that his boyfriend should pay for it? They're a couple and they love each other."
"You've been in your fantasy too long, Cinderella."
I frowned because I didn't understand. This man spoke as that it didn't make sense, and money was above all else. "And giving me a check, along with an obscene note, isn't a good thing either."
"I appreciate you, and give you what it deserves in return." He rolled his eyes, then continued. "Ah, I guess that's not enough for you. So what do you want? A private jet? Ten billion dollars? Or one of my shares? Every woman I spend the night with wants all of that, and if it's not enough they'll get mad at me. Like you do."
I clenched my fists to contain the anger that burned in my chest. What he's doing is toying with my emotions, and I'm not going to let him win.
"I've got it all, so sorry for turning down your offer." I replied in a calm tone, which I wholeheartedly insisted. I looked back at his face without intending to break the link.
The hatred for him covered all the effects of the charm he gave, so I dared to do it.
He smiled lopsidedly, the kind of smile that featured a deep dimple on the side of his right cheek. "Ah, did you already get everything from your boyfriend?" he asked.
I stepped towards him because of the words he uttered. My anger may have gradually come out, so I immediately gave a punch to his right jaw.
"What the hell, woman." He cursed, He stumbled backwards. His head turned to the side, I, faintly saw the red color in his jaw.
"I won't apologize for that because you deserve it." I say. He chuckled softly, licking the blood at the corners of his lips. In my heart I was amazed that my bogeman could silence his bastard mouth. "And don't compare me to your women who squeeze your wealth with their breasts. I have that luxury myself, and I'm proud of it." I continued in a low tone.
I don't know where the courage comes from. I raised my hand to pat his shoulder twice, and then stepped away.
He restrained me and turned me around again, but I immediately lifted my right leg and kicked the pride 'thing' that was in between his thighs with force.
He bent his knees with a growl of pain. His face was flushed red from enduring the pain.
"That's what you'll get if you bothering at me again." I chuckled and then walked away happy to have done what I wanted to do two years ago.
He really deserved it.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
I chose to go home.
Gabriella wants to go home with me, but she and Jack have other things to do, which I don't want to know. So I desperately reassured her that I was okay with going home alone, and finally she reluctantly ordered me a taxi.
I really shouldn't have fun, it always puts me in a bad state. I don't know what will happen next if I do it again.
I let out a rough sigh as I entered the lobby of my apartment building. But, someone caught my attention.
Jordan was sitting on the lobby couch, fiddling with his phone.
Taking a breath to prepare myself, I turned to where he was. Well, I've been thinking about mature. Jordan and I can't go on like this. I mean, our relationship can't continue.
The communication factor is important to me, and Jordan's job seems to take up a lot of his time. I didn't want Jordan to be burdened with my demands and my distractions that he wanted to notice.
That's why I thought that we'd better get over it.
I don't want my selfishness to trouble him.
Jordan looked up when he felt me approaching. That handsome face with a tired expression smiled. I replied with a faint smile.
"Manda.."
"Since when have you been here?"
"Since I called you earlier..."
"And why don't you go straight to my unit?"
Jordan grimaced, "Gabriella.."
"Ah well..." I just realized the reason. Gabriella never really liked Jordan. My friend was always cynical and too openly displeased. That's what makes Jordan uncomfortable with Gabriella. "Don't worry. She probably won't be back tonight."
Jordan smiled and nodded. I walked first to the elevator with the two people I saw often because we were on the same floor. One of the man in the blue t-shirt greeted me with a smile, which I responded with a smile.
The journey upstairs was filled with awkward silence. I leaned against the wall while Jordan pondered by my side. I don't know what he's thinking, I don't want to know.
I just stare at the numbers on the elevator wall while thinking about what I'm going to do next. What should I tell him? Did I just ask him to break up without having to make small talk? But isn't that cruel?
Finally after waiting about five hundred years later, the elevator doors opened. I stepped out first, followed by Jordan behind me. I unlocked the door with my fingerprint and entered without closing the door for Jordan to enter.
"Tea or coffee? Wait a minute, have you had dinner?" I asked as I walked to the sofa, took off my green cardigan and put it on the sofa chair.
Jordan came closer to me as I stood staring at him. I didn't know what he was doing at first, but then he hugged me. I froze.
"I haven't had dinner yet." He whispered.
I closed my eyes as I took a breath. I nodded my head, patting his stout arm twice. "I haven't had dinner either. I'll cook first."
"I miss you." He whispers again, and then Jordan kisses my cheek gently.
I looked up to see his tired face. "Are you sick?"
Jordan shook his head, "I'm just tired."
"When are you coming back?"
"Two days ago. I..." He sighed harshly, "I'm sorry, baby."
I pulled a small smile, "I forgive you, Jord. I'm sorry too, I didn't mean to be rude to you. I'm just annoyed." I swallowed hard choosing not to tell the truth.
Jordan kissed my lips a few times, and then gave me a long kiss which I respond.
"Don't apologize, baby. It's my fault. I'm really late with my work, I don't even check my phone very often. I'm sorry for forgetting you and being so indifferent. I really really regret it, baby. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
I saw the look of sincerity in his eyes. "I see, Jord. I just feel..." pausing, I gulped.
"What?"
"I just feel like I'm the one in this relationship. I feel that when we're apart you're not like the Jordan that I used to be when I'm with you. I feel like you don't care about me." I breathed heavily, "Really, Jordan, I don't demand anything from you. I just want to know how your day was there, if you ate well, if you lived well. Even if, only once in two days. Only that, Jordan."
Jordan looked stunned by what I said. I felt that he didn't believe what I just said. I've never been like this, speaking frankly about my feelings. I always put a smile behind the words 'It's okay. I'm fine. I understand.' Seeing me like I wasn't before, naturally took him by surprise.
"I..."
"I'm sorry. We can continue later. I'll cook dinner for us first." I cut in, letting go of Jordan's arms and then off to the kitchen. He followed me until I reached the kitchen counter.
"Amanda." Call him from behind the counter.
I glanced at him for a moment, "Sit down, Jord."
My relentless tone made him stride over to the chair opposite mine, and I began the cooking program for our dinner in eerie silence.
__________________________________________________________________________________________"What about breaking up?" I asked Jordan after we had finished our usual dinner and been in silence for over fifteen minutes.
The sound of his surprised breath made me turn around.
His jaw hardened, the features on his face implied great distaste.
"Jord..."
"I can fix it, Amanda. Trust me this time."
"I trust you. I know you can fix it. But I don't want to be selfish with you. I don't want you to be burdened by my selfishness."
Jordan shook his head hard, "You're not being selfish. You really deserved to ask that of me. It was my fault, Amanda. I wasn't burdened. Really. I'm sorry." His body turned to me. "Give me one more chance. I beg you. I promise I won't make you sad again."
I closed my eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. I don't know what I can do to end our relationship. It was clear that Jordan would still chuckle not wanting us to part, but I was afraid what if he came back doing the same thing. It puts me in a bad position again.
"Jord..."
"I'll take you to my family's party tomorrow night."
My eyes widened when I heard Jordan's sudden words. I looked at him in surprise, and my heart was pounding hard. Couldn't believe what he just said. This time there wasn't a pounding heart or a warm feeling running down my face. There was only an outpouring of anger.
"You can easily say that while you clearly hear what I said." I say firmly and slowly.
Jordan narrowed his eyes, "You've agreed to meet my family, Amanda."
"Before. Before I wanted to break up with you. Before you ignored me! You think I'll melt after you treat me like that?"
He took my hand and held it while shaking his head, "I'm sorry. I promise I won't do that again. Please."
I didn't answer anything.
"Please, Amanda. Just give me one more chance..." He paused, "I'll quit my job if it makes you feel better."
I rolled my eyes again. "Don't be crazy, Jordan."
"What else should I do so we don't break up?!"
I chuckle.
"I love you, baby. Please, forgive me. I won't disappear without communication. I promise to maintain our communication while we are apart."
Sighing in resignation, I stared at him intently.
He still looked back at me with his reassuring face, promising not to cut off our communication again when we were apart. Then, what if he did it again? Honestly, I'm tired of dealing with feelings of being ignored and worrying about him.
"Amanda.."
I closed my eyes for a moment and sighed again harshly, "Okay. One chance, if you do it again.. you'll lose me forever."
There was a glint of surprise and delight in his eyes when he heard my words.
He hugged me tightly, kissed my hair and whispered. "Thank you, baby."
Jordan didn't take me to Madrid like he said before. Apparently. His grandparents had their wedding anniversary party at their home in New York.Thoughts about them not liking me or I am unattractive in their eyes are occupying my brain right now. I could only clench my sweaty hands to vent my anxiety. "Don't be nervous, Amanda. They're good people. I'm sure they'll like you." I gulped and nodded. Choose to gaze at the towering pine trees on both sides of the road.My attention was slightly distracted when I looked at how grand and luxurious this mansion was. This palace is in the upscale BlueStone district of Tarrytown. The number one luxury district in New York. This blue to gray mansion, which is styled like an Urban building in the 20's, caught my interest because it was so beautiful. The grounds were wide and green, dotted with short thick trees and neat lawns, beyond the grounds of this magnificent mansion was the Hudson River shining in the moonlight. I'm guessing that Jord
He can't be Rhysand del Millero. My heart was pounding in my chest, my stomach was churning and I wanted to run now before Bellva called them or Jordan pulled him here. What's in the hell? Why does the universe seem to be pulling him at me by these crazy coincidences? "Hey, are you really okay?" Bellva asked. I blinked consciously, and looked at Bellva. "Can you help me get out of here?" There was a question mark on Bellva's expression but she quickly nodded. We stood up, and then started to walk away from there. "Where do you want to go?" Jordan's question along with their approaching steps made me freeze. Bellva who noticed my movements immediately answered. "I'd like to take her to my room. She wants to see my James Taylor collection." I bit my lip firmly to hold back the turmoil that was in me, and then slowly turned around to face them—Jordan who was standing by his grandfather's side, briefly caught a glimpse of the man behind Jordan who seemed to be holding back his lau
My heart was beating fast in my chest, my stomach was churning. I closed my eyes for a moment trying to steady myself. I sucked in a sharp breath, and then twisted my body, the dress spinning around my legs. He towered high right in the balcony doorway. His hands were in his trouser pockets, the sleeves of his black shirt were rolled up to his elbows and two of his shirt pees were open, revealing the skin on his chest and tattoos peeking out a little. I swallowed heavily. Insist on putting on a flat face and not caring. Clearing my throat, I said, "And it still doesn't matter." "For a woman who just punched me yesterday and kicked my balls, you're pretty relaxed, señorita." There was a pause, he chuckled. "Do you know how important the part you punched was? You'll be disappointed if I don't get to use it." For a moment, I didn't expect him to actually say that, but he did. He really did. "And I'll cut it off now if you're not polite to me. Again." I emphasized that last word. He
The fact that the kiss affected me so much, made me want to submerge myself in the deep sea. I hate the mixed feelings that come from what that bastard did. I really hate him. And, that was two weeks ago, which means I'm totally screwed. After leaving Rhysand on the balcony, I went straight into the party. Not for fun, but to find Jordan. After I found him talking to one of his business colleagues, I immediately told him I wanted to go home. It's up to him to take me or not. But he drove me, and he still thought that the reason I wanted to hurry home was because I had a headache—a lie that Bellva told everyone. That night, I couldn't sleep because of the mixed feelings that plagued me. With just a kiss and a touch from him, he messed me up. I don't like this. I don't like how Rhysand made me feel. I don't like the cozy warmth in my chest when I think about it. This is really wrong. And until now, sometimes I can still feel something twist my stomach and make my heart beat fast.
Somehow I didn't pass out. The truth is I'm already here. The other Directors had left to get back to work, and now it was just me, my boss, Big Man, and Rhysand del Millero. There were several men in black clothes, which I assumed were his personal bodyguards, sitting far from us and watching the surroundings. This situation, is the thing I hate. And I don't know how many times I rubbed my hands on my knees which were covered by my work pants. I don't know how many times I moved my legs uncomfortably because of this situation. More precisely because of who was right in front of me. I also feel bad because Big Man has been constantly praising Gabriel and his three secretaries-which I, Annie and Sasha-with exaggerated words to the damn man in front of me. I'm also betting the Big Man's over-the-top and unreasonable compliments about the other Directors he's been throwing at Rhysand del Millero too. Since then too, ugh, my head hurts because I just looked sideways at Big Man and
I looked around the large library on the fifteenth floor of the office.Two years I worked here, I never visited the library because of course work is more important. Besides being used as a display, this library is usually used for programmers who want to work in peace. If Big Man's secretary hadn't taken Rhysand and me to the library, I might have been the only employee who had never visited this room. I love reading. Reading novels. The first novel I read was by Louisa May Alcott; Little Woman, and then moved on to other feminist novels such as Handmaid's Tale and Pride and Prejudice—the book I'm holding right now. Well, I shouldn't be going around the library looking for a novel I like because what I'm supposed to be doing is taking care of a crazy bastard named Rhysand del Millero, who's on the phone. But I don't want to do that. I'd rather buy time with the books in front of me until the helicopter he's waiting for comes over to the bullshit he started. Damn, I hate this situ
I flinch at his gentle contact, and I swear I can feel his lips curling against mine as he smiles. I wish I could see it because it looked like a smirk, which lifted the sides of his lips and made the two dimples I hate appear, but then he moved his mouth along mine, slowly as if he was mapping the curve of my lips with his. I froze, my heart feeling like a butterfly trapped as he traced my lips. Small vibrations hit every part of my body. I trembled as my hands curled up against his shirt. What he did evoke memories of two years ago that were submerged in my mind and mu heart. Memories of two years that make the cells in my body live and miss his touch. His touch was barely a kiss, but by the gods, it shook me. Then he tilted his head, increasing the pressure, deepening the kiss. Suddenly, everything changed. This kiss—its rudeness—made me gasp for breath. And then, he claimed my lips as if to stake a claim on my soul. He pulls my lower lip with his, urging my lips to part. Pant
"Go, damn it!"I flinched at the snap from Rhysand. Rhysand was standing at the end of the sofa, his face red and an annoyed, his chest heaving. His white shirt was wrinkled, and I grimaced because maybe it was my fingers that were causing the wrinkles, the front of his trousers looking tight with desire.I knew that the yell was aimed at the secretary, but I also stood up while tidying my clothes after the secretary left. I cringe at guessing what I'll look like."Let me." Rhsyand approached me and unbuttoned my pants.I hit his hand, "Stop it. Don't come near me again.""Shut up, Amanda." He said grimly, tugging at the hem of my blouse and smoothing it so that the buttons were straight back between my chest. Then he pulls down my pants, smoothing them out with his calm, skillful hands. "Tidy your hair tie."I pulled away when he was about to pull my pants again, I did it myself. Realizing my refusal, he took his suit that was on the other sofa, and put it on.I started to walk fast