Days had passed since I first went here at Lumiere. Medyo minamalas, o siguro talagang malas lang ako? Wala pa din akong mahanap na trabaho. I have only two days remaining at hindi na kakayanin ng pera na dala ko ang mga gastusin. Mabuti sana kung makahanap agad ako ng trabaho, pwede akong makiusap para mag-advanced.
Heck.
My days are getting even more lonely and gloomy. There are times that I am thinking of just hanging myself in my room, but I can't. Wala akong mapag-sabitan ng lubid. I even walked in the middle of the night and jogged around to lighten up this heavy feeling within me. But those aren't enough.
Violet told me about the Beast town. She said there are lots of gardens, farms, and agricultural museums there. She said I could enjoy the place and look for a job at the same time.
The town is almost an hour and half from Lumiere.
Today could be a nice day to die.
Why not? The weather is nice, the place is beautiful. The only problem is how to die.
For the past few days, Chris hasn't bothered me. He's probably gathering some information—to know my name. I did not think he would be that serious. He could have traveled alone, less expenses pa iyon. Or he could have another person to join him, it's a great offer. Just too much for me.
Everything that Violet told me was right. The plaza looks like a garden full of different species of plants and flowers. There are lots of tourists around and travel guides who offer solo trips, date trips, family trips, and group trips.
There is signage and a tarpaulin which shows where the gardens, farms, and museums are located. A travel map. I took a picture of it.
First stop, Tafiti Sunflower Garden.
My mom loves Sunflowers so much. I can still remember her, planting giant sunflowers in our backyard. I would watch her from the window and if she sees me, she would tell me to come over and help her. I would gladly come and play with the dirt, since I do not have a green thumb, I would just dig for her and she'll plant the seeds. I have not even tried to plant again since the first time I tried, walang nabuhay sa mga itinanim ko.
The sunflowers here are stunning. All arranged according to their species, approximately one thousand meters per square is allocated for one species. And here, it looks like they have all the species! There are also benches and swings around the whole garden. A small pizza house. A nipa hut situated right in the middle of the whole place. There is also a shop where you can buy sunflower seeds, bouquets, and sunflower merchandise.
I stayed for more than two hours just sitting at a swing and watching the people come, take pictures, eat, buy, and leave.
I put on my earphones and walk towards the next gardens that are close here. Every person I get to talk with about me – looking for a job, were asking why am I applying to them. They say I am overqualified since I finished a four-year course. Truth is that, I wanna lie low, the lower the better. The lower I am, the farther I could stay away from my father.
I went to two agricultural museums, another two flower farms, and now I am on my way to my last stop. The famous rose garden of Beast town. Rumor has it that a real beast is inhabiting this place where he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He could not confess his love for her since he’s a beast and she’s a lovely maiden. The beast would always look at the maiden from afar, and since the maiden loves roses, he started planting them here. He saw how he adored a fancy castle in the books, so he built a castle for her. When the beast was about to die, the maiden found out about the place. In the remaining days of the beast, the maiden took care of him. The beast was happy that finally, the maiden he’s looking from afar is taking care of him now. He did not confess to her, rather he told her to take care of the place that he really made for her. The beast died. She took care of the place, got married, and entrusted the place to her children when she died. Nagpasalin-salin ang lupain na ito hanggang sa ka-apo-apuhan niya. Hanggang sa ngayon. And that is the story of this place, well I think that is just a made up story by the management for tourist attraction.
It really is astonishing tho. You’ll be mesmerized by the gigantic gate that would greet you. It really looks like a palace with an enormous garden full of different varieties of roses. After entering the gate, you’ll be greeted by the roses planted in front of a castle which really looks like a castle straight out of a children’s book. It’s lovely!
There are still a lot of tourists around, enjoying the wonderful place since it’ll close later than the other attractions I’ve been to. Siguro nga kaya ito ang nasa last list nila dahil alas-dose pa ng gabi ito nagsasarado.
Inikot ko ang buong lugar, habang dumidilim ay lalong gumaganda dito dahil sa nagsisimula na nilang buhayin ang mga ilaw sa bawat poste, at maging ang ilaw sa kastilyo. It feels like I am traveling back in time where there are still princes and princesses who live in a castle. The monarchy.
You can even get inside the castle, it is actually a hotel but whether you’ll be staying or not, you can still roam around. Mayroong namang mga signages na nakalagay if it’s a prohibited area. While roaming around, I found a huge pond surrounded by trees at the back of the palace. There is a sign saying, “off limits” that’s why I find it interesting.
The pond is really huge, almost half of a soccer field. The water is clear which gives me the idea that it is clean and is maintained by the management. And yet, they are so selfish for not letting the tourists see this! Rocks are around the pond itself, a mini falls that is created by the layer of rocks. I can’t see any fish, but the water is clear and is calling to me.
And just by seeing the enchanting pond, an idea came off my mind.
The area is off limits, there are no guards, no CCTV cameras, and it is almost seven p.m. I removed my dress and left all my belongings at the back of a tree. I gently tapped my feet in the water. The coldness climbed up from my feet to my whole self. I shivered in the cold. Slowly, I walked, feeling the water. Wala pa ako sa gitna ngunit ulo ko na lamang ang nakalabas. I slowly walked a bit closer to the middle. I closed my eyes and felt the water that was hugging my whole body. I held my breath.
A strong arm hugged me and lifted me out of the water. Pumalag ako at nagpupumiglas. The arms were so strong!
As soon as my body felt the grass, I opened my eyes and to my horror, I pushed the man who’s standing in front of me.
Chris!
It is Chris!
“Why do you always have to meddle with my life!” I shouted at him and hugged my body. Gosh! He’s topless. He is just wearing jeans. Why does he always come, always! At the wrong time and at the wrong place. I thought he’s busy and would not bother me for a long time and yet, here he is again.
I stood up, “What the hell is that?!” He did not respond, instead, he looked at my body. I am just in my undergarments! He’s looking intently at my belly and thigh. He was about to come near me but I made my way to my belongings and put on my dress.
“Isn’t it stupid to kill yourself here?” He said. Cross-arms, leaning over the tree, eyes closed. He is still not wearing his shirt. Drops of water from his hair are falling to his face and upper body. He looks like a model, and if I am not mad right now, I should have praised his gorgeous body.
Kinuha ko ang bag ko at tinalikuran siya, “I am not gonna kill myself. Stupid.” He stopped me from walking away. He captured my arms and pulled me to him. “If you’re not gonna kill yourself, then what are you doing there? You just want to swim?” He asked with an evident tone of sarcasm.
I removed his hands from my arms and pulled away from his grip. “Gusto kong malaman kung gaano katagal ko kayang pigilan ‘yung paghinga ko.” I rolled my eyes. As I was about to walk out again, he grabbed my arms again!
“What? It’s absurd? Edi huwag kang maniwala!” It is an obvious lie, but I don’t want to lose to him.
Nang maramdaman ko na wala siyang plano na bitawan ako ay umupo na lamang ako sa damuhan. A tear escaped from my eyes, and I know that I can’t hold back my emotions right now. He sat down beside me. He stayed quiet while I was quietly sobbing.
I let out a loud sigh and wiped away my tears. Funny how one moment you’re happy, and then for a second all the emotions you are trying to bury deep within you would explode. I was fine today, I can feel it. I am happily wandering around the town, looking for a job. And then I found this pond.
I thought I was going to die here tonight. But then again, he came...again. I don’t know why I feel so pressured, disappointed, and a little bit of happiness is growing within my heart.
Chris came closer to me and hugged. Hindi ko napansin na nanginginig na pala ako sa lamig. And I think that is the reason why he hugged me. He gently caressed my hair as I leaned my body closer to him. My head on his chest, his hands gently rubbing the palm of my hands. I don’t know why it feels nostalgic, safe, and warm.
“It’s okay. I’m here, Leira.”
Chris helped me to stand up. He’s now wearing his shirt and we’re on our way to his car. Good thing wala kaming nakasalubong na gwardya o taga-bantay, because we look really suspicious dahil basa kaming dalawa. I did not say anything until we reached his car, he opened the door for me and I made my way inside. Instead of opening the aircon he opened the window, so that we won’t die due to hypothermia. I hugged my knees and leaned my head to the window, feeling the air as he drove. “Still too cold?” He asked, giving me a quick glance before looking at the road again. Halata naman sigurong nilalamig pa din ako? Pft. He suddenly stopped the car. I almost hit the dashboard because of the sudden break, and I almost shouted at him. But then I remembered, he saved me from the pond, lent me a ride, and okay, add the fact that he hugged me so I won’t feel cold. So I restrained myself and just shut up. Bumaba siya ng sasakyan at binuksan ang car compartment. He came back inside the car w
Chris planned all of this. Who in the world could not pay for his stay at the inn but could buy and customize a camper van? That is my only thought while he is showing his camper van. The last time that we met at LeFou, he told me that he had something to do there. And this camper van is that something. He bought it because he told me that he’s sure I’ll agree. The camper van looks like the usual camper van. It is color white. Argh! I settled the ruckus made by Chris due to his overstaying for a day. Since I have a day left for my stay, I told Violet that I’ll give it to Chris since I am leaving today instead of the day after tomorrow. Medyo naguluhan siya pero pumayag naman. I told her it's an easy logic, she’s stupid if she won’t get that. Chris has arranged all his things inside the van while I would just settle for today. After I agreed, he immediately helped me to pack my things. And now we are in his van. The first thing I noticed is the whiteboard where the to-do list
What is the probability of meeting someone who knows a part of you which you have never shared to anyone? How come a stranger knows so much about you and you feel like there is something with him that you cannot explain. A strange feeling of familiarity. It lingers in my mind and shocks my system. I am not used to someone knowing me like this, and this way. I know, these things inside my head are like a puzzle I must solve, an itch I must scratch, and much worse than a broken recorder that I must fix. But I sucks at puzzles, the itch is at my back, and I am not fond of fixing things. After what happened in the resto, Chris and I went into different shops and bought everything we needed. Food supplies that would last for I think — a month. Pillows, pillowcases, bedsheets, and toiletries. Chris just let me decide on everything. He’s paying for everything as well. And he is the one who is bringing all the things we’ve bought. Okay, technically, he bought it. I kept on asking h
A huge gate welcomed us, “Aurodon” was engraved at the metal fence that encloses the place in front of us. “Where are we exactly?” I asked Chris, but he walked past me, bringing the bag full of paints. He talked with someone at the gate and I remained standing — watching him. Chris is actually tall, probably around 6-foot and has an average weight. He does not look like a guy who always goes to the gym but he has a flat stomach. A plain black iris and hair. His eyes are round which looks very much alive. I haven’t stared at him for that long but his eyes always captivate me, I cannot lie about it. Now that I am staring at him while he is talking with the lady guard, he really looks like some good guy – a guy you wouldn’t date because he’s too good to be true. “We just have to sign up, pwede na tayong pumasok pagkatapos.” We walked together to the lady guard to sign up, the lady guard nodded and smiled at us. Chris was the first one to write, I saw him write down his name, address,
After an hour, Chris and I are tired from painting and playing around. The whole rooftop is now painted in the mixture of color black, orange, yellow, green, red, and blue. Chris drew the moon at the upper left corner of the rooftop away from the staircase while I drew the sun below, away from the moon. We’re also soaking in paints. My hair is a mess and so is Chris’ which shows how much we had fun, “this does not incorporate the artwork theme of this building.” We should have at least painted a cage or a bird but we painted the sky with the moon and the sun present together. “We exercised our freedom to do whatever we want in this building.” I laughed. Maybe he’s right. We did not paint freedom, we exercised our freedom. From what we did, I felt like there is a part of me who wishes that days like these would never end. But I always come back to how tragic my life is. We remained in our position, the sun’s up and I think it’s past six. “Chris, have you ever fallen in love?” I a
Minutes have passed and now we are at Island of Regain. We’re currently in the middle of nowhere with only woods and plants surrounding us. Sure, it’s a great view when we are looking at it from the building back at Aurodon. But being here, I’m nervous. It was a bumpy ride but Chris still managed to keep it as smooth as possible. But being an optimistic me, I think dying here wouldn’t be bad. I might get reincarnated as a guardian of this rainforest. I can imagine stealing a beehive and dying from anaphylaxis. Or a venomous snake would appear and bite me to death. I can also think of drowning myself if there are waterfalls or any form of water here. We stopped somewhere without many trees, in front of a lake. I got out to walk around while Chris is starting to set up the camper van. He asked where I was going but I did not answer him. I walked away and stayed where I could still see him. Since he is full of paints as well, he removed his shirt and used it to wipe his hands. He
To act as if nothing happened was my plan. Hindi ito naganap, hindi ako nakita ni Chris. I was expecting that he’ll ask me questions but I heard nothing from him. I was also expecting an apology, but then again. Nothing. Wala. Zero. None. Pabor ‘yun sa akin pero hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi ako mapakali. The plates are all cleaned up. He’s outside, sitting at one of the huge stones in the lake. He looks like he is not here and wandering somewhere inside his mind. He is just staring at the tranquil water. When Chris noticed my presence he came forward and looked at me from head to toe. I don’t know what’s in his mind nor why am I thinking about everything that just happened. “Let’s clean you up.” Hearing it coming from him made me stop and think for a second, it sounds like a double meaning to me. A questioning look is what I gave him, “the paints,” he said. I almost slap myself in my mind. “You know how to remove these?” He nodded. He let me sit on the table that he set-up a
I can’t keep up with Chris so I decided to go back to the camper van and wait for him to return. If we’re in a movie I could easily say that this is a horror one. A few minutes had passed and Chris hadn't returned yet. I was walking back-and-forth, I hate to admit it but I am worried! Okay first, I don’t know where the keys are for this camper van and I don’t know how to drive so I cannot use it. Second, I don’t know where we are exactly. Chris is the navigator. I cannot use my phone to search for my exact location because there is no signal. Yeah, I can walk and find a signal but it would be a hassle. Baka lalo pa akong maligaw! Third, I have a lot of questions that he must answer! My list of reasons would continue. I think I’ll go nuts if he won’t come back in an hour. Or this is a good sign for me to kill myself right here, right now? I saw an illuminating light from a distance. Out of curiosity and hope that it’s Chirs, I followed it. I was right, it was him! Chris has