…I am burning endlessly in my misery. You threw me into that dark abyss so mercilessly. And this is caused by nothing but the fire of my love....
Evelyn POV:-
I look at my reflection in the mirror and in that reflection there's anything but me. An aristocratic woman with a cold heart torn into pieces stood there.
A void girl with exhaust feelings.
“Am I doing the right thing?” I whispered under my breath.
What am I feeling right now is beyond anyone's understanding- even mine. I don't know what I am thinking or what I should be thinking. I just know that I saved lives by destroying my own.
From outside, I looked like an exquisite lady with graceful and ravishing looks. But from inside, I feel like my fragmented heart is in a desolate place all alone in despair with no one to save it.
I closed my eyes for a brief moment to escape from my world and remembered the anguish I felt in all those years because of him.
***
I was 8 years old and was sitting in the hall and mother said, "Evelyn, Go get ready your uncle is coming for dinner."
"So?" I said monotonously, it's not even a new thing for me that uncle is coming for dinner.
"Fine stay here." Mother sighed and said that as she left for the kitchen.
Later, when I walked down the stairs for dinner I saw Adrian and Lawrence there. Adrian is 2 years older than me while Lawrence is 4 years older than me.
When I looked at Adrian my heart began to beat so loudly as I felt butterflies in my stomach. I quickly ran to my room and wore my favorite Blue frock and combed my hair.
“Hey Everyone…”
I walked down and greeted everyone with a smile and in my usual decent manner. During dinner, just meaningless eye contact with him made my heart skip a beat.
Whenever I saw him, a sweet feeling of something inexplicable used to rush in my veins, I treasure those emotions with whom I grew up.
A feeling of elation gushed through me whenever we met or I just caught a glimpse of him. With those immense feelings, I grew up.
Watching him from afar and loving his one sight, desiring nothing but to talk and see him.
When I turned 19 I couldn't take it anymore and decided to confess to Adrian. I and Adrian were standing on the rooftop of his house.
"Adrian, listen, I have liked you ever since our childhood and I still do," I said with my eyes shut.
My heart was beating so fast as it could leap out of my chest. An unpleasant feeling filled me when I opened my eyes. Adrian stared at me for a second and sighed.
"Look, Evelyn. I don't feel the same for you. You're just like a family." I nodded while my heart was being frayed, I passed him a faint smile.
"I understand." I said as I left.
Okay, I understand that he doesn't like me but at least he should think about it. He broke my years of fondness in mere seconds but I can't blame him if he doesn't feel the same.
I cried to myself all night that day. After a few days of it, I tried to talk to Adrian again but the way he talked to me.
I realized that I am an idiot to fall for someone like him and from that moment I swear to myself that I'll show him that I am happy without him and I don't even need him.
“Forget it, Evelyn. Forget it.”
I will try my best to neglect him and in accomplishing that task I spent countless nights- crying to myself.
Even if I show to the world that I am happy; I am not.
I am weak and a coward who wants to run away from reality. That's why at night when I am alone I let out my feelings.
After it I tried a lot to talk to him about it, trying to sort things out, even 'beg' for a chance but he never took pity. I was willing to do anything but he didn't, breaking my building emotions terribly.
And now I am 22, three years ever since then. And from that moment I am trying my best to remove those feelings, the emotions which made me to be a slave of my vulnerability.
Wanting to move on from him and forget the stain of desperation but couldn't...
***
I opened my eyes slowly as I felt someone's hand on my head. I saw my mother with a smile.
"I am so proud of you." She said, She then kissed my forehead and began to say;
"Evelyn, I know this marriage is too sudden and you are not even ready but, remember one thing my child, you are going to be his wife and from now on he is your everything.” She explained the most obvious part.
“You have to take care of him and respect him.” She guided.
“I know.” I nodded weakly.
“Lawrence is a great man. I am sure that he'll prove himself to be an embodiment of a husband."
I just closed my eyes due to the dread building up inside of me. How can I love Lawrence?
How are we going to work it out?
"And you are looking so beautiful in that dress." Mother complimented.
"Indeed she is." Aunt Kyla joins the conversation too. I looked at her as she passed me a sad smile and said.
"We all are truly thankful to you. But my love, you don't have to do it just for us."
I passed her a faint smile and said, "You have called me your daughter and I can do it for you at least."
She also kissed my forehead, "And we will treat you like our daughter."
I simply looked down and saw my reflection in the mirror for the last time.
I wore a silver gown embroidered with pure silver. It is a sleeveless gown. I wore a heavy matching necklace with it. It was a lavishing gown.
It's a tradition of the Bayford family that has passed down for generations that the bride of the first son will wear this dress.
I never thought I would wear this. The traditional Dress of the Bayford family all along with that traditional jewelry.
I looked exceptionally charming in that. Looking at myself, I can easily tell that I am looking irresistible.
And with those beguiling looks and an enervated heart filled with dismal. I walked towards those gates of misery and despair.
I stood outside the hall with my father. He kissed my hands and said.
"You are looking so beautiful just like your mother looked at our wedding."
I looked at my father with wide eyes. He never said anything like that before.
Mother blushed and looked away as I smiled at them. Father then gave me a side hug.
"I am so grateful to you Evelyn." I hugged father back and passed him one of my rare smiles. Mother gave me a bouquet of roses.
I looked down as mother put the veil over my face. My eyes which were void of every emotion didn't even lift themselves.
I slowly walked in and all eyes fell upon me. My throat dried. My legs lost their strength as I feel like I'm gonna fall anytime. My heart began to thump very loudly for I don't know what for.
“Calm down, calm down.” I let out shallow breaths and my hands turned ice cold. My walk towards the altar was slow but to be honest, I didn't even want it to end. I am scared as hell.
I lifted my gaze a little and my eyes met with the last person I wanted to see. Adrian.
He gave me a sympathetic look and turned his head away. That moment I felt a raging fire in my heart- for the first time.
I gulped for the last time as my grip on my father's arm tightened. I want to run far away or at least make it a dream. Like something like that never happened.
We reached the altar and no matter how much I don't want to let go of my father's arm, I still let it go.
I know that if I refused, my father would never force me to marry but I can't say no to him, At least not when he is begging me.
I took a final deep breath and put my hand over Lawrence as he offered me to take his hand. Lawrence's eyes flicker with an intense look filled with guilt and sadness. He is also suffering.
My eyes met him for a brief moment and at that moment I can see that he's also falling apart like me; just distinctively. But there was something else present there in his eyes too.
It's almost like he is crumbling because... ‘I am falling apart?’
…Even though our time together was brief. Even though your fingers intertwined with mine for a brief moment. But, it was the most everlasting moment of my life...Evelyn POV:-I stood still at the Altar with my trampled dream of becoming- Never mind. My blank mind was clouded with different emotions like fear and heartbreak. I felt like my soul is even giving up on me. I closed my eyes for a short-lived solace which I can never receive ever again. I listened to the vows."And in happiness and sadness, I would stay by your side. Holding you close to me whenever you need me."If I recall correctly, Lawrence wrote his vows himself. I never thought I'd be listening to these and like that. That moment I want to leave everything and run without caring for a thing in the world. Away from all this tribulation. But I know I can't. My dried lips and hollow self prepare itself for what the priest is going to say next,"Do you, Lawrence Bayford, Take Evelyn Sawyer as your lawful wife?""I do,
…My life with you is something I would never trade for anything…Evelyn POV:-After getting out of the hall and meeting a whole crowd of media, I and Lawrence sat in the back seat of the BMW, I closed my eyes and leaned back on the seat and let out a sigh. Then I realized that we are going home. My heart began to thump very loudly when the drive began. My blood turns cold by each time we get nearer. I gulped and looked at Lawrence whose eyes were closed. He looked frustrated and my whole being went numb looking at him like that. I never saw him this frustrated before. Terrifying thoughts began to roam in my mind;Living in the same house as Adrian's as his Sister-In-Law, how embarrassing it can be. I just want to be away from Adrian. ‘What if Lawrence knew about me liking Adrian. What Should I do?’Lawrence is stressed, who knows that he is also like me- fake from outside. What if he took out his wrath on me when we reached home. ‘No, Lawrence won't do it, he is a nice guy. What
…I may not be your first love, but I hope I will be your last… Lawrence POV:- Here, we bound her poor soul with me and they are taking it lightly, over-confident as if we will work. How can they be collected about it when I am burning from inside? I know Evelyn doesn't have a lover but what if she likes someone else? What if she doesn’t accept me? Anything could happen but despite all this, she agreed for this marriage. I am deeply grateful for her. “Okay, here goes nothing.” I sighed. My heart began to beat so fast. Maybe I shouldn't go. I gulped and took a deep breath and opened the door and went inside. I walked closer, my body felt frozen with strange sensations. I looked at Evelyn, the moonlight was falling on her face enhancing her features more. She gave me a scared look and turned her gaze away from me. “Evelyn…” I should have known. Was she always scared of me? I walked towards her and leaned on the other side of the window. She didn't dare to lift her gaze. I th
....Our eyes met and I saw that look of passionate hatred burning in your eyes and that's the moment I understood, nothing is the same anymore...Evelyn POV:-I stood still as the cold droplets of water drenched my petite form. I shivered at the coldness of the water. My heart was beating so fast. “Calm down, Evelyn, Calm down.”I put my hand over my chest to calm my anxious self. I was worried for nothing. I looked at the floor as a tear released itself followed by a stream of them. No matter how much of a great husband Lawrence is, I still can't give him the love and affection he deserves. I sniffed and wiped my tears."Just be normal and act like Adrian is nothing but your Brother-In-Law."I scold myself for thinking about Adrian. I won't let this happen. I will think only about Lawrence and no one else. After spending quite a while in the shower, I wore the clothes Lawrence gave me. Unwanted convulsions emerge from my body when I realize that I am wearing Lawrence’s clothes an
…You are the label of my love…Evelyn POV:-I was getting ready to go to the Bayford Mansion. As usual, I was trying my best to look good so that Adrian might notice me but to no avail, though it hurt a lot to see him far enough to never reach but I bore it.Lawrence called me urgently so I went there.I greeted everyone and went to Lawrence, he gave me a side hug and we went to the garden."So? What is it?" I asked."Look, Evelyn, you are a girl." He began to say nervously, pacing around. "No, I am a boy," I said, pouting."Look, it's serious." He said a little seriously this time. I sighed as he continued."You know that girl I am dating, Hellen. I tried to take our relationship to an intimate level." My face lit up hearing that, "Really? What happened? Oh" I began to tease him."That didn't happen." He frowned, stopping and turning to me. "Then?" I said tilting my head in confusion."You know I can't control my anger and desires." I nodded."Even though I have seen none of that.
...I want never to leave you but how can I stay with you when you are not mine either?...Evelyn POV:-“Argh..”My eyes slowly opened and adjusted themselves to see clearly. The sunlight penetrating through the window made the room lit. I was laying on my stomach with my arms and legs stretched out. I yawn and frown at the sunlight that was igniting the room. I averted my gaze from the window to the bed and my eyes widened.I realized that I am not in my bed and whatever happened yesterday was true. I lay there still like I am drowned in the pool of my thoughts. “Oh my God, it was true…” I closed my eyes and sat on the bed. I rubbed my eyes and stayed in my messy form.After a while, my eyes fell upon Lawrence who was sleeping peacefully yet with discomfort on the couch. I kept looking at him as the flashbacks from yesterday rushed in my mind.I deeply sighed. No matter what, I am married now and I also promised that I'll be a good wife. I got out of bed and took a quick shower. M
...Is this love or a passion for your presence, either way, it's the most treasured feeling for me ever…Evelyn POV:-We reached the hall as everyone stopped their activity just to look at us. Watching the newlyweds made me slightly uncomfortable.Even though their gazes were soft and loving with the intention of blessing us, there is a certain person here who never fails to disrupt my mind. Lawrence gave me an assuring look to calm down, I stared back at him for a few seconds and passed him a faint smile as We greeted everyone."May God bless you both." Aunt Camila said. “Thank you.” I passed her a smile and we took a seat. My whole being went numb when I saw Adrian sitting in front of me. I let out rapid breaths to myself. Our eyes met for a second and a glint of hurt behind that smile of Adrian was clear which I tried my best to ignore and turn oblivious to it. I startled at this and averted my eyes from him, I didn't dare to meet his gaze again. Even though it didn't seem like
...Love can either be the most treasured feeling of immense fondness you desire or can be the most ravaging feeling that leaves you in a desolate place...Evelyn POV:-After breakfast, the sordid feeling of asking Adrian's assistance for the preparations of Reception obstructs my mind with undesirable thoughts from wanting to stay away at all cost.“Dammit.” I muttered, walking away.I want redemption from these unwanted feelings. I was stressed and turned to my room. On my way, I saw Lawrence, Uncle Shawn and Uncle Ray in the living room. “Just say you can’t do it and end this.” Mumbling to myself, I built my determination.I decided to go inside and join the conversation but when I was about to enter I heard a voice behind me."There you are! I was looking for you," I turned to Adrian. I exhaled and said nothing."Come," Adrian motioned me to follow him. I walked behind him and my mind fluctuated with problematic thoughts. I'll drive myself insane if I think that much about these