Sophia
No, this was impossible!
If life was playing some sick joke on me today, it was time for it to stop before I collapsed under its weight.
I hadn’t had time to properly process being almost raped not so long ago, only to come home to this? Not only did my sister try to off herself, but she was pregnant, too.
The room around me started spinning as the ringing in my ears reached its maximum. I stared at Ellie’s angelic face and her deep blue eyes, not really seeing them from the thick veil of tears that clouded my vision. I wanted to speak, but I had no control over my tongue; my mouth felt like they were stuffed with cotton.
“Sophia? Please, say something.” Ellie’s words snapped me out of the awake coma I had slipped into.
I blinked frantically, trying to soothe the rising flood in my eyes while I could do nothing about the one in my chest. My heart turned into a ticking bomb, getting ready to explode at any second. I took one more precious moment to be quiet and accept what I heard as the truth before I did what every fiber of my being screamed at me to do – slap the shit out of her for what she intended to do.
With the traces of rationality hanging on the thread, threatening to snap under pressure, I pulled my fisted hands behind my back in a poor attempt to stop myself from doing what I knew was wrong. Ellie was in a desperate state of mind. She wasn’t thinking straight, and the last thing she needed now was her sister losing control. But it was so tempting, so inviting, the call to fall into the trap of madness. I wanted to break something, punch something, and let go of the helplessness I felt, the helplessness I swore never to feel again. Instead, I found the strength to ask:
“How long?” How long has she been keeping this from me?
“I’m not sure…a … a couple of months.” Ellie yelped, and I reached to cup her cheek with my palm.
“You have been pregnant for a couple of months, and you didn’t tell me? Why sweetheart?” I couldn’t stop my tears from falling. It was a struggle to keep that little sanity I had left.
“I was ashamed…” my sister admitted reluctantly, not looking me in the eye.
“Was dying worse than telling me?” I was devastated. It was my fault, no one else’s. My failure.
Everything I ever did was for her. I fought with all I had to get us through life and earn enough to sustain us both. I did the unimaginable to protect her, to save her life... And she was so ashamed to tell me she was pregnant that dying seemed like the better option. What did I do wrong? What wrong turn in her upbringing did I take?
“I’m sorry.” Ellie yelped. “I was just confused and didn’t know what to do... You already sacrificed everything for me to get me into college and not a year later...”
“Shh.” I pulled her into my embrace. She needed her sister now, and I would be there for her. There was no place for anything but support in that picture.
Despite being a wrack myself, I once again offered to be the pillar for her to hold on to, an anchor in the stormy sea.
It seemed like hours had passed before I felt Ellie calm down. Only then did I move back a little and reach for the dispenser on the floor.
“Ellie, we won’t need these, right?” I shook the bottle and waited for her confirmation before I got up and headed to the bathroom, where I quickly emptied the dispenser into the toilet and flushed it.
Water washed the pills away but failed to take away some of the relentlessly accumulated fear throughout the day. And the clock barely passed noon.
“Sweetheart,” I called out, and her head snapped up in my direction. “I will make you something to eat. Then you can tell me everything. OK?” I left her no choice but to tell me the truth, and she nodded her head.
I made her lie down on the couch and tucked her in with the light blanket I took from the wardrobe. Ellie closed her eyes, and not long after, I could hear her breaths deepening — she fell asleep.
Grabbing that bottle of vodka from the table, I stormed to the kitchen and dropped on the chair. My hands were shaking. Hell, my whole body was shaking.
My life was one big shithole, but what happened today threatened to top everything else. I eyed the bottle in front of me, and only the vivid memories of what would happen when our aunt drank stopped me from reaching for its contents.
Instead, I went to the fridge and got the ingredients for the chicken noodle soup Ellie loved. Keeping myself busy, keeping my hands busy, and focusing on cutting the carrots and onions gave me enough strength to push everything that happened today to the far corner of my mind. It was a well-developed skill, pretending things were not real, or better yet, that they were not important — that pain was not important. It would emerge later to bite me in the ass, but for the moment, I had to not think. I had to clear my head and focus on the present and what I had to do.
I cut myself a few times because of my shaky hands and sharp knife before the delicious aroma started spreading through the air. I added a few spices and salt and let the broth simmer before turning the stove off.
I filled a bowl with soup and placed it on a plate with some crackers for Ellie and a cup of chamomile tea for myself.
“Sweetheart, wake up. I got you something.” I nudged her by the shoulder, and she immediately opened her eyes.
Ellie shifted to a half-sitting position and accepted the ceramic bowl I offered.
“You’re not going to eat?” She raised her eyebrows in worry.
“I’m not hungry.” I smiled while taking a sip of the tea. The truth was, my stomach was tied in knots, and I was afraid to swallow anything.
I watched Ellie as she blew on the spoon of broth to cool it down before she brought it to her mouth and swallowed it. A moan escaped her lips, and she continued eating until the portion I got her was empty.
“Another one?” I giggled.
“No, thank you.”
“Better now?” Ellie nodded, and indeed, I could see some color had returned to her cheeks. “Then, would you please tell me what is going on?” My eyes watered again. I couldn’t hold back the tears. “I thought I was more than a sister to you. I thought we were friends and that you could tell me everything, just as I always told you everything. I didn’t even know you were dating someone.”
Ellie’s hand on my forearm interrupted me.
She was ready to talk, and I had to listen.
“I’m sorry, sis. I truly am. I meant to tell you, but lately, you have been busy with work and trying to provide for us both. You were always too tired, and I didn’t want to bother you instead of letting you rest.” It was all true. I couldn’t deny it. This past year was the busiest because Mr. Saunders put a workload on me. Of course, the pay was better too, but I barely had time to sleep.
“When I realized my period was late,” she choked on her words. “I was scared and embarrassed, and I couldn’t look you in the eyes. You put your life on hold for me! So you could feed me, get me through school, not to mention saving my li-”
“Don’t!” I shook my head. I didn’t like our past being brought into the conversation.
“But it’s true, Sophia! You gave me everything, and this is how I pay you back? I am the most selfish…”
I reached up with my hand and pushed the fair hair that fell on her face.
“Do you want to keep the baby?” I asked the most crucial question, the one I feared the answer to, as it would decide the course of our future.
Ellie sighed and cast her gaze on our intertwined hands. Her nod was barely noticeable. And despite everything, a spark of happiness lit up my heart, making it swell, pushing its boundaries to impossible limits.
I reached up with my hand and lifted her head, but her eyes were still uncatchable.
“Ellie, sweetheart. Look at me.” I demanded. When our eyes met, I smiled. No matter what, I couldn’t offer anything but my support and undying love for my sister and her child. “I’m going to be an aunt,” I laughed. For the first time today, I laughed aloud, wholeheartedly, and, honestly, sincerely.
I pulled Ellie into my embrace and squeezed her, hoping to transfer some of my joy to her. And it worked. My sister started laughing too.
“Sweetheart, who is the father?” I was sure he had something to do with Ellie’s attempt earlier. Being ashamed could not be the only reason. It could not!
Her silence told me what I needed to know. It told me my assumption was correct.
“Ellie?” I demanded, my voice laced with a threat. I had to know the truth. I had to know who I had to kill for inflicting so much pain on her.
“Well, that is another thing I need to tell you about. Father won’t be in the picture,” she admitted reluctantly.
What the hell?
Sophia I was completely flabbergasted, not having the slightest idea how to handle the information Ellie had just served me. What was I supposed to do? What was I supposed to say? My mind hit reverse, and I was sliding down the mountain slope at a deathly dangerous speed. I clenched my jaw, trying to direct my rage at it, hoping that the pain I caused myself would stop me from reacting inappropriately. After all, I didn’t want to scare her. She was in a delicate condition, and a wrong word could push her over the edge. “There! I knew you would react like that. I knew you would be disgusted.” Ellie was on the verge of tears. “No! No! Look at me!” I ordered. “Never say that again. You’re my sister, Ellie! I love you, and nothing can change that. No matter what you do, I will always be here for you. You can never ever disgust me. Got that?” It was the truth. I would die for her. Repulsion was never an option. “Now, tell me everything.” I had millions of questions and millions of thi
Kieran “Clara,” I called out for my secretary’s attention. “Cancel everything for today.” Knowing better than to ask questions, Clara confirmed with a curt nod as I continued towards the elevator that took me to the underground garage where my trusted SUV waited. It was the first time since I took over as CEO of the corporation that I could not focus on my job. Letters and digits were fluttering in front of my eyes, and the light on the screen was trying to gouge them out. My brain felt like mush, making it hard to think and be productive. After hours of pointless effort, I realized I needed to unwind the pent-up whirlpool of rage and despair that had been brewing in me for the last few days, knowing well that if I continued to ignore it, it would wreck me from the inside. Leaving the King Enterprises building in the rearview mirror, I got lost in replaying all the wrong moves I made and how they led to where I was now – the place where the relationship with my only brother was han
Kieran Losing track of time, I had no idea how long it had passed since the sand-filled bag started taking the hits I so generously kept throwing at it, but judging by my bleeding knuckles, I was down in the gym more than I should’ve. But it was worth it. The physical pain I inflicted on myself, the exhaustion that overtook my muscles and made it hard to breathe, relieved my swelled-up brain of some pressure, making it easier to think rationally and analyze all the wrong moves I made in my poor attempt to separate my brother from the girl I was convinced wasn’t the right choice for him. I fucked up. I relied too much on Philip and his rationality when I should’ve known better. He was desperately in love, and there was no way of knocking sense into him, no way of making him realize the truth. It was a mistake trying to coax him into breaking things off on his own. It was a mistake trying to use his illness to persuade him that leaving her and breaking her heart at the beginning wa
Sophia What happened to me? What in the world made me knock on an unknown person’s door and attack him like I had no functioning cell in my brain? Had I gone completely mad? Probably. But considering the turmoil in my head that refused to settle down and let my thoughts clear out, it was no wonder I fucked up. “Kieran…” his name rolled off my tongue as I marched away from the estate gate I had intruded so rudely. Who the hell was he? Darkness started enveloping the peaceful part of town I found myself in, so I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called a taxi. After what happened earlier, I could never again feel safe without light. Memories of what could’ve ended differently at my former workplace flashed through my mind, and I shivered in fear. As if it wasn’t enough, being reckless almost cost me my life not so long ago. If I had died on that threshold, who would have been there to take care of Ellie and her baby? By the time my ride arrived, I was shivering. Getting inside
Sophia “What do you want, Philip? Weren’t you the one who said to forget you, not to look for you? So, what are you doing here?” To a stranger listening to Ellie’s rant, she would’ve sounded cold and distant, accusing... But I knew my sister better. I heard how her voice trembled; she fought to keep it steady, not allowing it to break and uncover her pain. “Please, Ellie. I need to talk to you. I need to explain…” the young man pleaded. “Mind if we take this inside? I’m not a big fan of giving a free show to neighbors.” Kieran interrupted the scene, his deep voice startling me. Ever since we showed up, he didn’t take his eyes off of me, not giving a shit about the scene happening between his brother and my sister. I could feel his intense stare on me as he assessed me, scrutinized me, making an army of ants crawl down my back. “No, Philip. You don’t need to talk to me. You need to leave.” Ellie stood her ground, and I admired her for that. Just yesterday, she was a broken little gi
Sophia Every time I faced catastrophe in the past, I found a way to make things right; I found a way to hold all the strings that my life consisted of tightly in my hands and not let go, no matter how much those strings were cutting into my flesh. This time, though, things were falling apart in front of my eyes, and all I could do was watch. I was sure my sister was about to destroy her life and that Philip King, the father of her child, could bring her nothing but trouble and tears. Her happiness was the most important thing to me, but I believed she could never have the life she deserved with the man she chose. Ashamed of my thoughts, I kept quiet and never voiced them out. I tried so hard to mind my business and not meddle in her decisions, letting her be an adult but controlling my never-dying wish to protect her, even if that was from her own actions, was a struggle on a whole new level. It’s been a few days since the King brothers raided our apartment, and from that moment,
Sophia I had to give Philip a chance for Ellie’s sake. My rationality persuaded me to be patient and listen to whatever he had to say while my heart screamed at me, flooding my mind with images of an orange pill dispenser and my sister in tears. The silence surrounded us for just a few moments before Philip spoke. “I know you don’t like me, and I understand. I deserve it. To be honest, I will never forgive myself for what I did, no matter what you think of me after I tell you my reasons for acting the way I did. But what I want to say is that I love Ellie more than my life, and I would never intentionally hurt her.” Sincerity was beaming from Philip’s eyes, entrapping me in their depths. Intrigued by the hint of mystery in his voice my senses picked up like a hound hunting a rabbit in the woods, I unconsciously leaned towards him, not wanting to miss a single word, as I pushed aside all the other things that bothered me. Philip had my full attention. “That was exactly why I wante
Sophia “What is it with you strangling me every time you see me? Is that a fetish or something?” I squeaked; every word I uttered felt like sandpaper on my constricted throat, causing tears to blur my vision, but I didn’t back off. Not this time. I watched him straight in the eyes, and I didn’t waver. No matter the rage and hate that blazed in his grey, stormy eyes, I held his gaze with all the courage I could muster, and it angered him even more. He shoved me inside and advanced after me, and as soon as he crossed the threshold, Kieran slammed the door behind us and forced me further in until we reached the living room, which was just a few steps, really, but now it seemed to be a hundred-mile-long journey. “What do you want?” I spat, whispering. Kieran’s nostrils flared, his jaw clenched, and I was sure he was holding himself back from snapping my neck. I wasn’t afraid of dying, though. At least it would serve a good purpose. Kieran would go to prison, and Ellie and her baby wo