5 - Sunglasses At Night

~Jude’s Point of View~

“And it’s been three days and she hasn’t called,” Corey said, in shock.

“Dude you have never tried this hard to find a chick. What was so special about her? How did I miss her,” Slade said, throwing up his hands.

Slade rarely partied a lot with us anymore after shows. He had a couple other businesses he was into and getting with random chicks wasn’t high on his list anymore. Suddenly it wasn’t on mine either. 

I hadn’t touched another woman since my Cookie. I just couldn’t. Not for lack of women trying, they were always trying. They didn't have her smile, her shiny and soft hair, her body. That fucking body of hers...

“I’m calling again,” I said, getting up from the kitchen area of the tour bus and going back to my room. 

I shut the door, kicked off my boots and got in bed. Sometimes we rotated who got the main bedroom on a bus, sometimes the guys didn't care. I cared, I liked my space and being crammed in a bunk sucks.

RING RING RING

“Cross Roads,” a female voice said.

“Miss Cook,” I asked, hopeful. It was the first time a female answered that didn’t sound like a teenager.

Only two words, impossible to tell but it could be her. She laughed out loud.

“Nobody’s called me that in like way too long. How can I help you,” she asked.

“Are you … Jada,” I asked.

“Uhm … yeah? Who is this,” she said, like she was doing something else and preoccupied.

It’s not her. It’s not my Cookie. But she knows something, she has to if she’s the owner. But I have to play it cool don’t go overboard.

“This is Jude Stone. I’m looking for the woman who delivered food for my band when we were in town,” I said.

Dead silence.

“Oh, uhm … yeah okay. Uhm so … that was my sister Juliet,” she finally said.

Juliet?? Oh fuck that’s a hot name. So hot. I could write a song about her with just that name and my memories of one night.

Juliet Cook. 

That has to be her, fucking finally. My fingers began strumming on my thigh, already thinking of working that name into a song. It was what my brain did, 24/7.

“Oh and, I heard you had a baby, congratulations,” I said, trying to be cordial. 

I needed to butter her up so she’d help me at any rate. I felt like I already had a window into their little world but really didn’t know much at all.

“Yeah I did and Juliet missed it because apparently she was with you,” she said, kind of irritated.

I sat up, abruptly. I’d never had a woman complain about being with me before. Is that why she won’t speak to me, call me? Is it because of that? Clearly her sister is pissed about it.

“Oh, well so sorry about that. Look, is she around? I’ve been trying like hell to get in touch with her,” I said, running my fingers through my hair.

“Where do you live Mr. Stone,” she asked, completely catching me off guard.

“Uhm, I live on a bus at the moment but home is L.A.,” I said, quickly getting her drift. 

“Ah huh. Well Juliet’s life and work is in Charlotte so I just don’t see what could really come of you getting her hopes up. I’m sure you’re also aware of your own reputation and it’s my job as not only her sister but the one who mostly raised her to safeguard her heart,” she said, matter of fact.

Well fuck I’m not trying to marry her. Well maybe. I wouldn’t say no if she asked me. You just don’t find a woman like Juliet every day. 

“I greatly appreciate that Jada but my intentions are only good, I promise. I just … want to talk to her, please,” I said, trying to be firm but not too pathetic.

Christ the last time I begged to go out with a girl I was 15 and she was 14. We just wanted to see a movie but her dad wouldn’t budge. I snuck her out of the house after he went to bed anyhow and gave her the night of her life.

“Look Juliet is a beautiful person, she’s sharp and smart. She’s got a good career here, she’s happy. She has roots … here. You’re only going to break her heart and I won’t have that. A guy like you can’t possibly be serious about her. Don’t call here again,” she said, hanging up.

I looked down at the phone, practically breathless. A guy like me!? Is she serious? I could literally offer Juliet the world, give her anything her heart desires. The woman has to be at least 27, 28 years old. She should decide for herself what she wants. 

But she’s not a money grubber, my conscience reminded me. She’s likely got her own money, running that place, that’s why she didn’t take that cash and she left angry. Damn.

I threw myself back on the bed and sighed. I fucked this all up. Maybe I should just leave her be. Maybe she deserves a more steady guy, someone who’s actually home at night. I got on social media and quickly tried to look her up now that I knew her name. Sure enough, there she was, a big smile on her face in front of a nice looking pool. She had on a cute sundress that showcased her glorious tits and her hips I dreamed about every night.

Her profile was completely private and that one picture was all I could see. But it was more than enough for my hand to wander into my pants and remember our night together.

I was almost starting to think Cookie had been a figment of my imagination, that I really was bat shit crazy. But she’s very real, real and now I have her picture … and her panties.

My whole life I’d never been turned down by a woman I wanted and fuck this just made me want her a hundred times more. Is this how men become stalkers? Ugh.

Time fell away, as it always does and the tour ended. Juliet never called me and I gave up. I put the ball in her court and her answer of deafening silence was received. Even though it did something to me to admit the hard truth … I’d never see her again. I had to wonder if it was her sister’s doing or if this is really how she felt. Not knowing was the hardest fucking part.

Her main picture on social media changed to one of her kissing a baby’s cheek while someone threw a pizza dough in the air just behind them. Maybe I had to admit Jada was right. Her life was there, mine was wherever the hell I landed. What could I even offer her outside of money, material bullshit? My life was pure chaos, and my brothers … my band, well, none of them were settled down. They all still lived the dream, the party life.

“Dude you okay? You haven’t been around much, thought I’d come see you before my schedule gets off the chain,” Lukas said, falling in the booth in front of me.

We were at a dive bar called Jester’s that we frequented when we were home. We played here a lot when we were nobodies and the owners were like family. We played here now sometimes for free, just for the memories.

“Yeah I’m just … tired,” I said, grabbing another shot of Jameson and tossing it back.

“How many of those you had,” he said, seeing that I had half a bottle on the table.

“Not enough,” I confessed.

He was dressed like he just came from the gym, he was certainly the fitness buff out of our group but playing the drums is pretty damn physically demanding. I wasn’t sure the man owned a shirt with sleeves and his arms were huge, I was certain he could bench me.

“Corey says you’re hung up on a girl, someone from tour,” he said, pouring himself a shot in my glass.

“She’s not some girl. She’s the one who got away,” I said leaning back, my head hitting the wall of the booth.

“Got away? Like … she turned you down,” he said, making a face from his shot.

“Maybe I didn’t try hard enough. She’s too good for me,” I said, feeling woozy. Maybe I should stop, slow down at least.

He laughed and kept laughing. Then he leaned back and took me in. I was certain it was written all over my face. I was love sick.

“I stalk her social media even though it’s private and I can't see anything. I hold my finger over the message button all the time but I’m too chicken shit. Her sister told me to leave her alone, says she’s happy living in North Carolina. I'll only break her heart. You think that’s true,” I asked, after a long silence.

He blew out a hard breath and shook his head.

“I don’t know bro. If I found the one I don’t think I could just let her go. You know how it is for us, different women all the time. Shit maybe I’m just old now but … yeah the idea of having the right person to come home to … sounds pretty damn good. But yeah, where would home be,” he said, making gestures with his hands.

I knew he would be the one to understand, even if he teased me about it all.

“I just can’t get her out of my head. I had her for about seven hours at best. Seven hours, is that even enough time for anything? To know anything? Hell we barely even spoke,” I said, pouring another shot.

“You did the good kind of talking sounds like then. Nothing wrong with that. I don’t know my brother. This is the pizza girl,” he asked.

The guys all knew about her, gave me shit. But I hadn’t talked to Lukas a lot lately. I went ahead and told him more about her, showed him her picture, and talked about the restaurant. Corey, Trey and myself gave them stellar reviews. Told all our followers to go there and by the looks of their social media they were packed every day. 

“I haven’t even been with anyone else since,” I finally confessed, as the night wore on.

He gave me a look I’d rarely seen on Lukas, and it was as if he didn’t want to believe me.

“That’s … wild man. It’s been what two months? More than, I mean … wow, I don’t envy you. Don’t let it go too long or you’ll be in a bad spot you know? I’m fucking proud of you,” he said, dropping his hand on mine.

I knew he was referring to my drug sobriety. Clearly my alcohol sobriety wasn’t working out. But he had a point. If I didn’t get to see her again or get with someone else to get my mind right, I’d end up looking for another way to numb myself. 

That … can not happen. Ever. Never again.