Six months later…I wake with a start. My eyes may only be half open, but my mom-senses mean I can take stock of what's going on around me almost instantaneously.Is a kiddo crying? No.Is there a burglar ratting around the apartment? No.Did I get a leg cramp? No. I'm still face down in my pillow, starfishing across the bed with one leg sticking out of the blankets.Now that I know everything is fine, I let myself fall back into dreamland.I wake with a start a second time. Now I know something is happening. I don't move, almost hoping it's a leg cramp, just so I don't have to move for a few more minutes.No such luck. Theo begins to cry in his crib across the room. I sit up, wipe my eyes so I can see the clock without any blur, and look at him."Really? It's six-thirty-seven. Is it necessary to be up so early?"His little bottom lip quivers as he stands there looking at me. I sigh. Someday, I'll get to sleep in past seven again. Someday.Scooting to the edge of my bed, I smell the pr
Peeking through the peephole, all I see is a fancy coffee cup. Being that my old-school coffee machine isn't even done brewing yet, that's all I need to see before I'm convinced to open the door. Surely a madman wouldn't bring me coffee before killing me."Good morning," I hear as I swing the door wide. A smile crosses my face."Marcus. That coffee better be for me," I jest with a smirk."Of course it is." He shoves the cup into my hands and lifts up a Shipley's bag and waves it in my face. "I brought something for the kids, too.""Donuts. You sure know how to bribe them for love. Come in."My next-door neighbor makes his way past me, into the small eating area and greets the kids with a smile. "Hi, Marcus!" Myra chirps brightly, while Lina grunts her hello. Theo doesn't say anything, just keeps his eyes trained on the bag. He may be young, but he's no dummy."Good morning, kiddos. I heard you guys get up, so I figured you'd like some donuts for breakfast," he singsongs. "Yay!" Myra
I know a lot of guys who have psycho ex-wives. I've heard the horror stories… always taking them back to court for more child support even when they're going above and beyond. Not working together on a schedule to see the kids, even when the job requires two-week road trips. Showing up at their apartments unannounced and throwing a fit if they're entertaining. That shit happens all the time.But my Mari isn't like that. Even after we were first separated, when she refused to speak to me for over a month, she's never been unreasonable. She told me what she needed to pay the bills and has never asked for a penny more. If I want to talk to the kids, I text her and they Facetime or Skype almost immediately. And she works visitation around my work schedule.So as far as ex's go, I've got the best one. But that doesn't mean I like it.I don't want Mari to be an ex. I want her to be my current. My forever. She's been my best friend for over ten years, and I miss her desperately. I miss her sm
I close my eyes and swallow hard, letting my shame wash over me. She's right. I should have. And I didn't. And now we're here. And it sucks."Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" I open my eyes, throwing a smile on my face and squatting down as my two girls come racing into the room and jumping into my arms."Oh, my girls!" I kiss them all over their faces and dig my fingers into their ribs, tickling them. "I missed you girls so much.""Daddy, Mommy got me some princess flip-flops. See?" Myra shoves her foot in my face, almost falling over in the process. "Oh, they're so nice," I say in that exaggerated response most parents use when their kids get excited about the small things in life."Me, too, Daddy." Lina just points at her feet instead of trying for balance."Look at that! One Elsa, one Anna. So you don't get them mixed up." They nod excitedly, thrilled that I understand the concept of keeping their things separated. "They are beautiful. But I think maybe we should wear our runners today since
"No really, Mom. We're doing fine." I plop myself down on the couch and prop my feet up on the coffee table. "Theo is sleeping better, and since we don't have a lot of team functions to go to, things have really slowed down.""I know," my mom complains through the phone. "It just feels weird to not be there every month to help out. I kind of miss it."I smile. My mom has tried really hard to not overwhelm me since the separation, and I love her for it. As much as it's uncomfortable, I need to figure out how to be a single mom on my own.Santos provides well - really well. But I never expected anything less from him. He was born to be a father. Frankly, he was born to be a husband, too. He really is the best husband. Except for the whole sleeping with anyone on two legs thing. That's just not something any spouse can come back from."Mom, you are welcome to come anytime. You know that."She sighs. "So you don't mind if I come stay next month? It doesn't even have to be a full week. A w
I love taking my kids to the zoo. Watching their little faces light up when we see their favorite animals is truly one of the small joys in life. Myra loves the elephants. She could stay here all day watching them lumber around and play. Her giggles when they roll around in mud make everyone else giggle.Lina, on the other hand, loves the lions. Today, we got lucky. There's been a lion leaning right up against the glass in the downstairs part of the enclosure. Myra won't go near him, but Lina keeps looking at him with her hand on the glass like she wants to pet him. She is so intrigued. The pictures of her face right next to the lion's turn out amazing. I can't wait to show Mari.But the funniest part of the day is the orangutans. There is only one who ventures into the outdoor part of the enclosure today. A female who, according to the information card, has never had a baby but really wants one. As soon as we strolled up to the window, she sees Theo's stroller and lumbers her way ou
The rage runs through me as I think of what her dating means. She's so fucking beautiful. She's kind. She's generous. She's always putting others before herself. And some other asshole is going to see how great she is and sweep her off her feet.I realize I'm stepping on the gas a little too hard and back my foot off. I'm so angry, but my kids are still in the car. I won't put them in danger.Even if my heart feels like it's being ripped out of my chest.When we get to the apartment, I make a decision. I can't talk to Mari about this. First of all, I don't know if it's true. Second, with how angry she still is at me, there is no way that conversation will go well. I don't want to fight with her about it in front of the kids. I want to grab her phone and smash it to pieces, but I won't do that either. I knock once on the apartment door and the girls throw it open, barreling their way inside as they chatter about their day.Mari greets them with a smile and tries to keep up with the co
Marcus whistles softly. "You sure clean up nice when you get yourself out of those yoga pants."I shoot him a disapproving look as I finish applying my blush and grab my flat iron again."I'll have you know, I wore jeans most of the day today.""Ooh! You're stepping up your game.""Ha. Ha. Actually, I had to go grocery shopping and didn't feel like looking like a total schlump."He plops himself down on my bed, a newly dyed purple Mohawk flopping to one side, and watches me finish getting ready. I don't particularly care to have a bathroom vanity in between the bathroom and my master closet. It's seriously outdated. But it comes in handy when I'm trying to primp and I need to hear the kids. Or talk to my next-door neighbor."Well I think you look fantastic." He looks around. "Your room, however, is a disaster.""I couldn't find anything to wear," I say, as I clip a section of my hair up and out of my way. "I haven't been on a date in over a decade.""I just find it interesting that the