Chapter 5

All their eyes are on me. Waiting for me to explain where I went last night. If only dad's stares were scorching, I might have turned to ashes here in my seat now. 

"Have you swallowed your tongue, Carmell?" hindi na nakatiis na tanong nito. "We're asking you. Where have you been last night?" He asked again. This time, in a low yet cold tone. 

"I...I-I just...went somewhere, where I can relax, dad. Don't worry, I didn't do stupid things as what you always think." His jaw clenched simultaneously with the movement of his adams apple. 

"Darling, we're just worried. Next time, let us know your whereabouts." I nodded at what mom said. "Have you eaten breakfast?" 

"I'm fine, mom."

"Stop spoiling your daughter, will you?" naiiritang saad ni dad. "She's no longer a child. Let her be responsible, Myriam," dugtong pa nito mas lalong nagtatangis ang bagang. 

"She's my child, Raymond. Don't command me to take control of my child's life. I'm not like you," sagot ni Mom. Nagsukatan sila ng masamang tingin. No one wants to lose.

"Can you two calm down first?" saway sa kanila ni ate. Unang nagbawi si dad ng tingin. Saka hinagod ang palad sa kanyang buhok.

This is what I don't want to happen. They'll fight because of me. 

"Stop it, mom. Sorry, dad. I was wrong. I've made you all worried. I will never go out again. I'll stay here at home until the wedding day. Just let me know when, dad," mahaba kong lintanya saka tumalikod na para matulog. God! I badly want to lay my back on my soft bed. It was as if a teen wheeler truck had run over my body. 

Hindi ko na pinansin ang pangungulit ni Viviane sa chat and call. The heck! I'm too tired for story telling. I threw my body on the bed. But at the moment I closed my eyes, his image suddenly appeared. Those pair of dark orbs that staring at me intenty. His smile that could melt every sadness you have. 

Jesus Christ! Stop remembering him. It's just a one night stand. I buried my face in the pillow. How can I forget him if he leaves a traces on my skin? He touched me as if he owned me. 

Hanggang sa makatulog ako ay mukha niya ang naglalaro sa aking isipan.

It's been a week since that stupidity of me.  Yes stupidity but not a mistake. I close my eyes when the sunlight gleams onto my face. It's only seven in the morning. 

"Ma'am Carmell, nandiyan po si Ma'am Viviane," untag sa akin ng isa sa kasambahay namin. Agad kong minulat ang aking mata at hinarap siya. 

"Papuntahin mo nalang siya rito sa garden, salamat." 

That woman. If I didn't know, she just wanted to get gossip from me.  I heard her footsteps approaching on where I was. 

"Hey bitch, why aren't you picking up my call?" She stood up in front of me and folded her arms around her chest. My brows furrowed. 

"Don't me bitch. I have nothing to tell," ani ko na inirapan pa siya.

 Padabog siyang naupo sa aking tabi, saka pinag-cross ang kanyang legs. Itinuon ang kanyang siko sa hita at pumalumbaba paharap sa akin.

"I'm your best friend. Stop keeping secrets from me. Tell me, what happened that night? Why were you there? Did someone bring you there?" she asked curiously, looking deeply into my eyes.

"C'mon, Viviane. No one brought me there.  I'm drunk and  don't exactly know what happened." I made my tone normal so she wouldn't notice that I was lying. 

"Don't you ever lie to me. You bitch, you're good but not at  lying," she said and rolled her eyes. Who am I kidding? Future lawyer won't bite it. 

"Fine! Nakipag-one nigt stand ako," pag-amin ko na lamang. Best friend ko naman siya, hindi naman niya siguro iyon ipagkakalat.

"Satan fucking hell! You what?!" 

"I had one night stand with a fucking unknown man," naiinis na turan ko. She's really scandalous. 

"Of course, one night stand nga eh. Hindi mo talaga kilala 'yon," sarkastikong saad niya, nakangisi pa ang loka. "Is he good..." Binatukan ko ito dahil sa kalokohan. 

"Stop it, Viviane." 

"Hey, I haven't finished speaking yet. What I really mean is good-looking. What a green." Sarap sakalin.

"H'wag mong sasabihin 'yon kahit kanino huh," babala ko rito. Madaldal pa naman siya, madalas. 

"Even to tito?" She raised her both hands while laughing. "Easy, I'm just kidding. It's okay, I won't judge you." Kahit papaano ay nabawasan ang iniisip ko. "Wait, akala ko ba naka-reserve ka na para kay savior mo?" 

"I have no choice. Ikakasal na ako," mahinang bulong ko.

"What?! Are you serious?" Mabagal akong tumango. "To whom?" 

"I actually don't know." 

"What a sanction," bulong niya. Marahil na-gets na niya iyon.  

Kahit hirap na hirap ay bumangon ako upang pagbuksan ang kung sino mang kumakatok sa aking pintuan. Pinilit kong lumapit doon.

"Ate."

She went straight into my room and laid the tray of food on the side table. 

"Are you feeling well?" I smiled at ate Crissel and shook my head. "Did you take your medicine?" She placed her hand on my forehead. 

"I'm fine, ate."

She helps me sit on the side of the bed. "I'm sorry. I couldn't change dad's decision. If I only could do something to help you." Ramdam ko ang lungkot sa kanyang boses habang hinahagod ang aking buhok.

"It's okay. I understand, ate. Dad is like a dragon once he's mad. Sometimes I think dad's the only survivor of meteorite," biro ko na ikatawa naming pareho. 

Nahinto kami nang may kumatok ulit. Sumungaw ang ulo ng best friend ko. 

"Hi ate Crissel," bati niya kay ate. Tumango lamang ito at tumayo.

"I'll go ahead. Get well. I love you." She kissed my forehead before leaving my room.

"What's up?" nakangiting tanong ni Viviane nang maiwan kami. Kumunot ang noo ko nang may maamoy na hindi maganda.

"Changed your perfume. It stinks," saad ko. Agad naman siyang napaamoy sa kanyang sarili. 

"Bitch, I am using this perfume since high school days, pero ngayon ka lang nagreklamo," palatak nito saka naupo.

"Late reaction perhaps." Inirapan ko ito. "What's your problem?" tanong ko nang seryoso ang mukha niyang nakatingin sa akin. 

"Are you craving for something sour? Do you feel dizzy? Vomiting every morning? Your sense of smell becomes unusual?" She asked bewildered. 

"Why?"

"Just answer it." Nagtataka man ay tumango na lamang ako. "Holy Mary Jesus, you're pregnant!"