"This pink would look great on you."
The fabric is fitted, sequins designed to have eyeson every aspect of my body, exposing my flesh to the hounds. I didn't like the idea, nor do I like the pink. Of course the wolf girl assumes I'm interested in whatever 'costume' I'll have to wear in the morning, like I actually care about this forced marriage.
"Maybe yellow? I think the lemon yellow will suit you perfectly!" Triss gushes, holding yet another shred of fabric against my exposed bra.
I remain a statue, allowing her to measure and work without flinching. Fighting will onlymakethis so much worse, and I've been humiliated enough.
"I'd like to wear white." I finally speak up after a while of silence.
Triss stares at me, briefly before nodding."That's fine, what about this?"
She holds up a piece of her flimsy fabric, like the few centimetres are going to cover all of me. Blankly, I shake my head.
"It's tradition for every bride to dress this way. Every wolf will want you, and every female will want to be you, and yet you will belong to the Alpha. Don't you think it's beautiful?" Triss smiles, almost wistfully.
Is she serious?
"No, I don't." I state bluntly, my voice icy. Call me bitter, who cares?
Triss's shoulders fall as her smile deflates, the best thing I've seen since coming here. Perhaps now she'll feel a fraction of what I do, maybe now she will understand that I don't see sunshine and rainbows in this pack.
"The Alpha chose you for a reason, Katalayha, and if I'm honest I can see why. You're young, beautiful, and untouched by another." Triss says, offering a small gentle smile as if she hears the questions swimming around my head.
"Beautiful?" I whisper, my heart twisting painfully. Is this what beauty is to them? Bruises and scars?
"Yes, very much." She nods firmly, not seeing that I didn't expect nor want an answer.
Part of me felt the urge to refuse her still, to deny her choices of dress. Yet the larger part of me simply didn't care, hanging on a thread of hope that I might still get away, I couldn't think about a stupid dress or sparkly outfit. Starting tomorrow, I'll be trapped forever.
Is it a mistake to even consider running, knowing who I'm running from? Is it even worth it?
Taking my silence as a go ahead to continue preparing the dress, Triss pushes me into wearing the 'traditional' choice of clothing. I didn't bother arguing it, merely because I realise how little I care for this wedding. My dress, or Triss's dress, won't change anything simply because of appearance.
"Is it ok if I go for a walk?" My almost silent voice dares not to raise, knowing well that if she tells her Alpha I'm even asking to go outside, it won't end well.
"I just need you to pick a colour, I suppose a few minutes break won't hurt." Triss smiles at me.
Slight surprise fills me, I hadn't expected her to so quickly agree. Is she not worried I might run?
"Yellow." I say softly, already inching my way to the door across the room.
Triss flashes me a beaming grin, ecstatic that I'm willingly taking part in this whole thing. I suspect that every other she-wolf on the planet would feel like they've won the lottery, if they found themselves in my position. I've heard very few stories of Alpha Hardin, and while I pay no mind to the words of wolves, women have spoken of his wealth, and his beauty. Some would kill to be in my position, like he's some kind of god.
Perhaps he is, the devil is basically a god, and Alpha Hardin has cursed me.
Forever. How do I survive forever, with a monster?
"You coming?" Triss asks. Blinking, I give a faint nod and head over to the door that she holds open.
No words are spoken as we walk back down the hallway, ascending the huge stair case. Triss remains close, a little too close for my liking but I know she's expecting me to run. Her close proximity only annoys me, mostly because running won't solve anything, I'd be hunted by Hardin, by his pack and his enemies. Being young doesn't make me naive, I know what happens to lone she-wolves, they never make it to the other side of no mans land.
Even with Triss glued to my every step, I don't let it stop me from enjoying the freedom of being outside. For me outside is a safe zone, my parents always made the house feel like a prison. Every bad thing that ever happened to me, has happened behind closed doors. As a wolf I naturally seek the woods, a kind of freedom even if I know I'm once again trapped.
"Can I ask you something?" Triss speaks up after a while of walking through the woods.
I give a slight nod, glancing at her briefly before returning my eyes to the beautiful greens surrounding me.
"Why did you stand for it?" She frowns at me. For a moment I stare blankly, uncertain of whatshe means.
"The abuse." Triss says softly.
Turning my eyes elsewhere, I feel my heart ache.
"You could have ran, why didn't you?" She presses.
I'd never thought about why I didn't run, the amount of times I could have fled are endless. Outside the pack I had no one, no friends, no family, no allies. I would have been a lone she-wolf born of Alpha blood, vulnerable to the cruel rogues that always lurk.
"Any family is better than none." I murmur, offering a small slight forced smile.
Triss stares at me. "Even us?"
Not wanting to offend her by telling her what I really think, I merely fall silent and look back to the forest. Triss doesn't understand why I don't want to be here, after all I can bet she was either born into this pack or transferred here willingly.
"The pack won't hurt you, not without good reason." Triss says, as if she feels the need to comfort me.
Given her words, I didn't feel the least bit better. I've never heard of a member attacking the Luna or even Alpha, so the fact that this pack allow that to happen, tells me they're either under weak leadership, or a greater understanding of respect and strength that most wolves. Given that this pack has Alpha Hardin ruling them, I very much it's due to lack of leadership.
For a short while we walk, Triss questions like the curious person she is, to most of which I simply blank. Call me rude, but I don't feel like sharing my life with someone I don't know. I'm in the mood to make friends, nor am I willing to tell her anything about me.
The sun begins to fade behind the mass of tall trees, casting a looking shadow over the land and pack house, bringing darkness with it. I felt it in my bones, the terrifying reality of what dawn will bring.
It isn't just a marriage, I'll be his wife, his chosen mate, I will belong to him. My freedom is his to control,and Ididn't dare question him.
"Come, we have wasted enough time." Triss states, dragging me away from the distant vaguely visible sunset.
I expected noise to consume the huge pack house, and yet it was eerily silent as I begin to descend from the bedroom. It gave me chills, finding it strange that everything is so quiet on such a rare day for their Alpha.With no even a full day to plan, I thought it would be chaos. Apparently this pack exceed as wedding planners too. I thought with slight bitterness, hating that nothing is going to postpone today.Triss remains a step behind me, guiding me from the mansion and out into the woods. At first I didn't feel much of anything, until we got further into the barely lit trees, far enough that Alpha Hardins begin to show through the space in the distance.My legs falter."Stand tall, chin up, shoulders back." Triss whispers to me, adjusting my rigged posture.Nodding faintly, I quickly do as she says knowing first impressions are everything. If this pack doesn't see me fit, I'll be walked all over and Hardin won't be able to stop it.For my benefit, I keep my eyes forwards and s
" The union has been accepted." Those words burn into my memory like poison, awakening me from the darkness. I wasn't certain on how long I'd been out, but I knew the pain had knocked me unconscious. It's not the first time it's happened, despite this being the first time my brain hurt instead of my body. Blinking as I strain to open my heavy eyelids, I quickly realise there's a rather sharp ache still pulsing within my skull. Bearable, enough so that I push myself up off the stone slab, slowly. The last thing I want is to go dizzy right now. "Do you have any idea what you just did?" Alpha Hardin questions me, his tone clipped with anger. Lowering my aching eyes, I give a small shake of my head as I brush tiny stones off of my palms gently. Even if I don't get what the big deal is on his end, I know I have to give some response that shows a flicker of remorse, or guilt. My father never liked it when I didn't take the blame, it made him feel like it was his fault, which it was. "I
He was right, once he started touching me, my body didn't resist. Now knowing that there's no denying him, I feel more trapped, more humiliated and used than I ever have.Slowly I cover myself in the thin fabric, after spending all night nude outside on the grass, clothes feel great even with so little coverage. It wasn't long before Hardin woke too, silence surrounding us as he dresses himself. The fact that I'm keeping my back to him clearly speaks louder than words,I don't wish to converse with him, I'm glad he doesn't attempt to do SO. "Come, lets get you cleaned up." He says after minutes, expecting no response. I could feel his warmth behind me, his hand that he outstretches for me to take. Did he hit his head? I side glance his hand with bitterness, a glare he didn't see. Without a word, I turn on my heel and walk straight past him, blanking his very existence. I wanted to storm off, but given that every step only adds to the uncomfortable feeling between my thighs, I don't
"It's been almost a week since anyone saw you, Luna." Lacys concerned voice isn't surprising.Staring blankly at the closed curtains, I give no sign of response. I'd stopped responding a few days back, after giving the same answer time and time again, I didn't see the point in talking.Three weeks.Three weeks since I arrived here, and it feels like a lifetime ago. At first I carried on smiling, I talked with the pack and held up the act of the gentle Luna that I know they all believe. I tried so hard to keep them happy, I tried to pretend like I wasn't stuck here, I tried so hard to just be happy. But I couldn't do it, every minute it got harder, every day my smile began to fade and after a week ... I considered ending it all.The pack expected perfection through the day, and by night Hardin comes in and does as he pleases with me. The past two nights he hasn't been back, I tried to deny him, which resulted in me slapping him. I assume he's still enraged, and I'm still frightened of
"Luna-" Lacys familiar voice fills the empty room. "Oh my god!" She gasps. I stare at the mirror in utter disgust, anger brewing inside of me as I poke at my flesh. The bruises are long gone, but the weight I'd lost in the past week has taken a huge toll on my body. My skin is paler than usual, far more bones poking through than ever before. Dark circles rim my eyes, thoroughly making me a monstrous sight. Fact is, I wanted to blame Hardin. He's the reason I'm here, he's the reason I don't sleep, the reason I can't eat. At the same time I didn't have the energy, blaming him is tiring, and it's not like I'm not to blame too. I refused the food, I stayed awake at night, I didn't converse with the pack or even leave the room. I've been clinging onto my old life, the person I was only last month due to a promise I made to my brother. In the end, that promise is going to kill me, holding on is hurting me more. I want to keep my promise, I want to be the person my brother expects me to
Before my mind registers what I'm doing, my hand wraps around his wrist, shoving him away with all my strength. Hardin squeezes my throat, just enough to make me gasp a little, his face nearing mine as his eyes grow darker.I know what he wants, and if I don't act then he'll take it, again. No amount of refusal with words has worked so far, he acts like he hasn't even heard me. But pushing him away, that gets to him."I strongly suggest you don't repeat that." Hardin growls sinisterly, eyes ablaze, bright red.Every nerve in my body screams at me to submit, but at the same time I feel powerful being able to deny him. Even for a short moment, being able to finally tell him no, and mean it, gives me huge satisfaction."Then I suggest you don't touch what isn't yours." I say, my voice ringing with clarity.Damn Kali, when'd you get so brave?My entire body freezes over the second I see Hardin's face contort with anger, the utter fury that burns within his blood red eyes. Until now I'd no
"Harder!"My growl resonates over the sound of his voice, frustration burning through me. No matter how much I push, Hardin doesn't move a millimetre."I'm not strong enough." I snap, exhaling heavily as I step away from his huge form.My arms ache from trying to move him, I'd used all the strength I could muster and it didn't faze him. I'm supposed to be stronger than this, I'm supposed to be powerful, and I doubt I could take the average wolf."You're trying too hard." Hardin states."Clearly not hard enough." I respond with sarcasm dripping from my tone.How can I be trying too hard, when I haven't even been able to move him? Trying less would get me know where. Hardin has been training his entire life like every other Alpha in the world, all except me. Perhaps my parents were right, a female shouldn't be first born."You're trying to control your strength, to focus it, and it doesn't work that way." Hardin snaps at me, annoyed that I'm blanking him.My wrist is suddenly grabbed, a
A entire week of hell, and the day hasfinally arrived. After seven days of maxing my limits and exhausting myself with what felt like pointless torment, it's finally time to face the music.Even though Hardin gave me a brief rundown of how the ceremony will go, I'm still nervous. For three days I'll be put to the rest with a series of different challenges and tasks, more so because I'm now Hardins mate."Take it off, wolves don't need to cover up." Beck mutters to me as we exit the car.Brushing his hand away, I bury my hands into my pockets. Hardin and his beta join us, leading me into the large stone mansion. I didn't pay much attention to the building, or the decor, only the amount of wolves that whisper and stare as I pass them.They smell my Alpha blood, they're naturally threatened by it. I assume that's why Hardin stays close to me, placing me between himself, Zed flanking my left and Beck just behind us. I have to admit, I don't feel so on edge with all three close by.The wol