Laying awake for the third night a row since before my wedding day, i felt sick and exhausted.
Karl, just like last night, is sleeping like a damn baby while i lay stiff to make sure he says asleep.After the long and awkward ride home, Karl had disappeared into his home office and didn't come out until it was ten at night. As soon as he was out of the office, he immediately took a shower and went to sleep.The events of today had shocked me. From the moment he had raised his hands, i knew he would not hold back to land his fist on my face if i push him. Even though i have absolutely no idea why he got so angry with me for talking to his little sister, he seemed as if i had been torturing her, which i wasn't.My stomach growled in the silent room and i flinched. Holding my breath, i made sure to say still just to make sure that i hadn't disturbed him. When i heard no different noise other than his soft snore, i looked over my shoulder to see that he was still in a deep sleep.Thanking God for not waking him up, i slowly got off the bed and tiptoed to the door. I looked over my shoulder one more time before i reached for the door knob and opened the bedroom door. The knob made a soft click as i gently pushed past it.Once i was finally out the bedroom, i partially closed the door and made my way downstairs to the kitchen. Without looking at anything, i rushed over to the fridge and pulled out some grapes.Fruit with an empty stomach has never really agreed with me, and even though i know i will be spending the next day with an upset stomach, i couldn't turn away from the purple fruit.Closing the fridge, i walked over to the counter and took a seat as i popped grape after grape in to my mouth. A soft sigh escaped my lips as the small ball of flavors erupted in between my teeth. With in the next five minutes, i had emptied an entire bowl of grapes yet i was still not satisfied.After washing and drying the bowl, i made my way back up the stairs and into the bedroom. Karl was still asleep with his back to the door and even though, my body screams at me to take some rest, i couldn't force myself to go near the bed. The memory of his fist flying towards me was still very fresh in my head and the image of his angry face kept looming over me everytime i try to close my eyes. Early in the car, i saw how bruised his knuckles were from the punch he threw in the door. When we walked into the house, i was sure he would finish what he started, which was why i flinched away from him when he turned to look at me. It was after i flinched that he stormed off to his home office.Instead of giving into the urge to sleep, i walked over to the walk in closet. My suitcase still stands at the far corner of the closet and non of my clothes were hung next to his.Walking over to the suitcase, i opened it up and pulled the clothes out to reach the bottom of the case. I once again sighed were i caught sight of my drawing book.Pulling out the pink book, i sat down next to my suitcase with my back pressed against the wall. I've had this drawing book since i was a kid. The tick book had always been a great companion to me through out my entire life.My old nana, rest her soul, had gifted me this drawing book on my sixths birthday and i started drawing my designs on it after i turned ten. Half of the book was filled with different designs of clothes, shoes, bags and accessories i though i would be able to make one day, while the other half still waits for me to continue designing. The last time i drew on it was for prom night in highschool. I wanted to look fabulous with my own dress and i spent days trying to get the dress to look the way i wanted it to. When i let my mother see my designs, she was really excited and was willing to help me make the dress but she told my father about it and he threw my room upside down looking for the drawing book.He threatened me that if he ever saw it, he would rip it apart and if i even for a second think i would be anything other than a pawn for his business, i can kiss my last name goodbye.Tracing my fingers along my initials on the bright pink cover of the drawing book, i sighed once more, each times being sadder than the last one.I opened the covers to see the first dress i designed and couldn't help but chuckle. Since i was a chubby kid, i wanted to make my dress fot me perfectly. Even though i was forced to lose the weight at that time, i still wanted to make a dress that would have fit me perfectly as a chubby girl.It was to prove to my mother that even chubby girls could look just as pretty and fabulous as the skinny women in our family. Of course, my mother wouldn't have it.The first fifty pages were filled with clothes made for chubby girls. But after that, all my designed were only for the skinniest girls. It was also the time i stopped seeing any positivity in my previous body.Flipping over to the last page of drawing, i saw the pink dress i wanted to make for my prom night. I never got to finish designing the full look as my father had forbidden me to go to prom.The smile on my face immediately turns to ash as i remember the way i reacted to it.Prom was supposed to be a great night, a night were i would let go and forget about my family and their stupid rules but because Garzei Chaw said i couldn't go, i acted out at school. I messed with Princi Jonas' date and made him ditch her on that very night. At the time, all i could think about was how unfair it was that i couldn't go but they all could. And because, my boss' wife was the easiest kid to mess with, i had ruined her night as well.I slammed the book shut and closed my eyes.I am a horrible person. I don't think it matters that I'm trying to be better, that I'm working on myself every single day. Because at the end of the day, i was still the horrible person that caused a lot of innocent people pain. And no matter how good i am today, i can never change the fact that i had ruined lives, just because mine was already ruined.I opened my eyes as tears slipped down my cheeks and onto the pink cover of my drawing book. My gaze landed on the door and i couldn't help but think about the man sleeping on the other side of it.He told me that I'm a bully even though i have doen nothing to him. It's like, even the people i just met can tell that i have a dark past i need to be punished for.It's like he was sent to torture me. To show me how i treated others in the past. It's God's way of showing me how evil i was.I deserve itThe next morning, i woke up in the closet with a soar neck and an upset stomach.Glancing down at my lap, i see my drawing book resting with the cover shut. Looking around my surroundings, i felt so out of place. Even though i do best around fashion, this closet made me feel like i don't even deserve to be here.Placing the drawing book back in the suitcase, i piled my clothes over it before i zipped it up. With a final sigh, i got to my feet and stretched my arms above my head, hoping to loosen the stiff muscles.After failing to relax myself, i walked out of the walk in closet to see Karl drying his hair. He glances over to me for a brief second before he returns his gaze away from me.Seeing his bruised knuckles, i contemplated whether or not i should speak to him. I honestly don't want to anger him or even draw his attention for a split second.But staying the entire day in this place would drive me crazy and i also miss work. As weird as it sound coming from me, i have actually l
Staring down at my wedding ring, i felt lost. Too lost that i didn't even here my boss Shawn Davis- who is the CEO of this company since six ago- walk up to me."Miss Chaw?" Shawn's voice startled me awake from the daze i was in and i looked up at him to see that he was watching me with confusion. "I though you had the week off."I stood up from my chair to be polite before i nodded my head."I did, but I think it will be best if i work." My boss nods his head before he looked at his office door."Well, i guess you can start by getting me some coffee." He commented before he gave me a brief and professional smile and walked into his office.Walking over to the break room, i remembered how i almost lost my job for messing with his wife, who was his employee at the time.I had blamed an injury on her and reported her to human resources because she had report mw to HR for bullying her at work. It was supposed to be a way to show her than HR can't do anything about it. But my father had
I sat in my usual table near the back of Brownies. The place was packed, as usual, mostly because it's lunch rush but also because brownie makes some mean ass food.Glancing through the menu, i waited for someone to waite on me. It might be a while before i can get a waiter, so , knowing what i was going to order, i set the menu to the side and pulled out the new magazine i bought from the book store next door and opened the fashion page.The magazine is from MWD- Magazine weekly delight- and i feel like they are on of the best magazine company in the city because their items are really highlighted.Flicking through the pages, i stopped at the one that showcased a very tall supermodel wearing a black skin tight dress that is completely see-through. The model is wearing black underwear underneath the see-through dress. The black fabric sticks to the models skin and runs down to her ankle and is also full sleeved. The dark skinned model pulls off the look while she pushed her hips out
The week passed by in a blink of an eye and the day i have been dreading is finally here. Sunday.In the last couple of days, Karl and I have some how got ourself a little routine. I wake up every morning and make both of us breakfast while he showers and gets ready for work. Then, he comes down, looks at the plate i make for him, scoff at me and make his own coffee before he walks into the sitting room and read his newspaper. At least he didn't throw the plates at me so that's a change.Then, I'd rush to the bathroom and get myself ready. Afterwards, a forty-five minute silent and awkward ride to work with Karl ends our morning routine.At night, he would come late and wouldn't even bother to come to the dining room and because he comes in late, and sometimes even stays the night out, I don't bother to make dinner. I had to settle fo dry toast ever night because our fridge is pretty much a deserted island.When Karl does make it home, he take a short shower, changes into his sweats a
After lunch and a very flustered guards who appreciated my cooking, i was doing the dishes when Karl walked down the stairs with the tray in his hands.For a split second, i was scared that he didn't eat the food or worse, he was about to throw it at me. But to my surprise, Karl placed the empty dish in the soupy water before he stared down at me. The movement of my hands stopped as i waited for him to say something. After a shot seconds of silence, Karl reached out to open the cabinet above my head to reveal the morning cereals i bought.His large figure loomed over mine from behind me and his tick arms hang above my left shoulder. I can feel his calm breath fanning my head as he closed the cabinet and opened the cup board that was next to my right hip.I stood stiff as he assessed every cupboard around us with his body still very close to mine. Karl then proceeded to move over to the fridge and opened it up to see that it was fully stocked. He stared at ever lever of the fridge bef
I look around the brightly painted room as April looks for her drawing book under the pile of papers she has on her desk.The room was painted Hot pink and so were the carpets on the floor. It looks like the room came straight out of a Disney princess movie."I'm gonna go on a limb here and say you're favorite colour is pink."April chuckles as she pushes more papers off her desk until she final found a small black drawing book."It's not my all time favorite colour but it's what I'm feeling at the moment. Two months ago, my hair was bright purple and so was the walls and the carpets. Here." April pats the bed and gestures for me to sit next to her.Handing me her drawing book, she opened the cover to show me her first design."I came up with this a couple of years ago. I have more books but this one is very special."I looked through her designs and i was more than impressed."Wow... April this are really good."April beams at my comment as if she had never heard them from anyone els
Karl Thompson Drumming my fingers against my knee, i looked out the window, trying to ignore the woman sitting next to me.Tonight's dinner had been ridiculous thanks to April and Kaily. What was supposed to be another punishment to Lucy, might have turned out to be a good night for her. But not for me.Taking her to dinner was supposed to show her the family she will never be accepted in to, a family that will forever despise her for what she did to my baby sister.I pursued this marriage for one purpose only. But my own sisters are ruining it. But they're not the only ones ruining it. So am i.This woman confuses. I know who she is and what she's capable of, but in the one weeks I've been married to her, i am yet to see her ugly side, maybe if i push hard enough, she would show her true colors.I couldn't resist the urge to glance over to her direction. Lucy's looking out the window with her palms pressed against each other.I quit looked away with a frown when i r
Lucy ChawI looked through my boss' schedule and squeezed in a meeting with a potential investor before lunch.The Davis Company has been growing even more and stock price has shot through the roof. Stretched my arms above my head, i tried to relax my soar muscles. Last night had taken a tool on me. And even though the two tubes of ice cream i emptied helped, i still felt bad for eating so much.The dinner had really upset me. After the forced meal, we'd all collectively sat in the large sitting room in total silence. April tried her best to comfort me with a smile or by sitting next to me. But after a few minutes later, their parents asked to talk to April alone.They'd made their way to the room next to the one we were all at. Their voice was muffled but i could still guess that they were having a heated argument.After they returned, April had kept her distance from me and refused to even look at me. That moment had been unbearable. But just as Karl an