[AVA]
It’s five in the morning, and still quite dark outside.
When I woke up after a long sleep, the first thing I did was grab my phone. There were missed calls from dad, Max, and Sean.
Initially, I felt a sense of panic because dad didn’t know my whereabouts. However, I calmed down when I realized he was aware that I was going to be with Max at the hospital.
I tried calling Max, but he didn’t answer. I assumed he was heavily sedated due to the painkillers given by the nurses. So, I sent him a text, instructing him on what to tell dad if he called. I also texted Sean, but unlike Max, he promptly called me to ensure I was alright.
A hot cup of coffee sits on the table as I attempt to find a more comfortable position on the couch, desperately trying to avoid any reminders of the night I spent here with Brian. It was a night filled with countless passionate encounters, an experience that overwhelmed me like the ocea
[BRIAN]I was fifteen years old when I first kissed a girl. Evelyn Gordon was her name. She was in my class and the most stunning girl I had ever seen. Mason, my twin brother, was also smitten with her. But I didn’t realize it at the time. I was so caught up in my own world, weaving all kinds of fantasies with her, that I didn’t notice how my brother looked at her or how he always got tongue-tied whenever it was their turn to sit together in Mr Warren’s lab.Mr Warren used to have this bowl system where instead of sitting in our regular seats or wherever we wanted, he made us pick a folded paper from the bowl and whichever number was written on it, we were stuck on that bench for a week. I recall being jealous of Mason because every time Evelyn smiled, laughed, or just pushed some hair out of her face, or blushed the deepest shade of red at something he said, I had a nagging suspicion that she was mistaking Mason for me. At least that
[AVA] A blissful moment consumes every fibre of my existence. It sweeps over me like a cool breeze on a hot summer night, makes me giddy and silly, and leaves me so darn satisfied that if I ever had a last wish before dying, I am pleased to say it has been thoroughly fulfilled. Only, I should have known it was too good to be true. Because the second the veil of lust lifted and the awareness of what had happened dawned on both of us, the bliss that once felt like the best thing that had ever happened to me shattered like a fine china urn. Brian rips himself away from me as if my skin is suddenly oozing electricity. He snatches his clothes from the floor and throws them on in so much rush, I feel dizzy just looking at him. I sit up and get dressed myself without breaking down in tears. He’s acting as if he’s embarrassed by what happened between us, as if he’s on the verge of screaming his head off. For a long moment, he just sits with h
[AVA]It’s been a month since that night—correction:morning. A month since I saw the last of Brian. A month since we had that moment and he kicked me out of his life as if I had no place to be in it. Maybe he was right. Maybe there was no reason for me to feel so betrayed. Maybe it was just what he said it was. A mistake. And hoping that it was anything more than that was just plain stupid.After making sure I took the pill and forcing me to swear that I would take the rest of them too, Brian dropped me outside of my apartment building and left once I got in. I had a spare key with me, so instead of molesting the doorbell, I stuck the key and got myself in.I cried the entire time that day, not even bothered that only a day was left before those goons showed up to recover their money again. It was as if nothing else really mattered, as if my life was over and nothing good was left in it.But I reminded myself&md
[AVA]I’ve always despised being that person who ruins everything. Back in middle school, my friend Val and I received an invitation to our classmate Angelica Barden’s birthday party. Let me tell you, she was basically Regina George from Mean Girls, but with a touch of the devil. I really wish I could blame her for clumsily toppling her own five-tier birthday cake while wearing a princess gown.But unfortunately, that’s not the case.The sole individual responsible for transforming Angelica’s fourteenth birthday into an unforgettable disaster was none other than me.If only I had better control over my limbs on that fateful day...Regardless of my current thoughts or how remorseful I feel about accidentally bumping into Angelica, causing her to faceplant and the cake to be squashed between her and the floor, it won’t change anything. It certainly won’t make her hate me any less.I know Sean won’t despise me for taking up his valuable time, as he did his best to calm me down and wipe a
[SEAN]Have you ever experienced a deep sense of helplessness? A feeling of desperately wanting something, but being unable to pursue it out of fear of hurting the people you love most? These situations are all too familiar in my life. I have become the epitome of sacrificing my own happiness for the sake of others’ comfort. As the eldest child, my family expects nothing short of perfection from me.Anything less, and I am deemed a failure in my father’s eyes. Anything more, and I’m burdened with the immense pressure to maintain my own success. It often feels like I’m being squeezed from all sides. If I don’t take action to help myself, I fear I’ll suffocate in my own loneliness and perish.I don’t understand how some people manage to remain happy no matter what. They don’t care about others’ opinions of them. They are unfazed when their parents act unreasonably, solely interested in molding them into a certain image—as if they were mere pets or show ponies, meant to be trained and gr
[BRIAN]I know I made the right decision, although my emotions try to convince me otherwise.Kissing Ava was wrong, and fucking her was even worse.What the hell was I thinking? How did I let my attraction to her cloud my judgment, especially considering she’s half my age, my late daughter’s best friend, and the daughter of my mentor?You can’t just forget something like that, can you? It’s the only thing that should have mattered, and I should never have allowed myself to forget it. Those facts should have been permanently etched in my mind, engraved in my thoughts, and if possible, tattooed on my damn soul.But none of those damn facts stopped me from touching her inappropriately, from indulging in the kisses we shared, or from obsessing over her every waking moment since then.I swear, Ava has consumed my thoughts for the past month. She’s been like a goddamn brain-eating slug, doing nothing but wreaking havoc in my head.I thought spending a month in Australia would clear my mind.
[AVA] “Listen up, sweetie,” mom says, grabbing my hand and intertwining our fingers. “I’m your mom, and all I want is what’s best for you. Is that so hard to believe?” I’m dying to respond: yes, that’s exactly what I think. But instead, I let out a sigh and prop my elbow on the table. “Mom, what’s on your mind?” I had only been in the kitchen for a mere five minutes when mom turned into a protective mama bear. Actually, it’s the perfect timing for her to butter me up, considering dad is out for his morning walks and Max is still asleep in the backroom, which is just a fancy name for our small storage space. The ache of nostalgia hits me hard when I think about our old home, which was at least fifty times the size of this tiny apartment. Our bathroom alone could fit this entire room, and our backyard overlooked a breathtaking lake. We even had our own landing space for the private jet nearby. But that’s all in the past now, and I know I need to let go of those memories instead of h
[AVA] A jolt of icy anticipation shoots through me as the door to Brian’s office swings open. Sharon wastes no time, forcefully shutting the door before I can even step further into the room. I don’t know what her problem is, but she’s seriously starting to get under my skin. Then again, the only reason I dared to show her a bit of attitude earlier was because I had a hunch that Brian must have personally instructed her to fetch me. Otherwise, she would have sent someone else or, worse, just asked the receptionist to send me up. But none of that happened. I can’t help but wonder what Brian said to her to put her on such a tense edge. Did he threaten to fire her or something? I scoff, doubting that would ever happen. Why would he go to such lengths for me? I mean, who am I to him? Just a nobody, clearly. Just a regret. But as much of a jerk as she’s been to me from day one, I don’t want her to suffer the consequences. I know firsthand what it’s like to fall from grace and land in