Chapter 6

It wasn’t until I felt the thick carpeting of the first step beneath my bare foot that I realized how profoundly affected I was by the news that Lance intended to take me back to his time.  My legs trembled like they were made of rubber and my knees threatened to buckle beneath my weight.  Worried that they wouldn’t hold me, I held tight to the railing  and pulled myself up.  First one step and then another.  Looking up at the steep and seemingly never-ending climb awaiting me, it felt like a daunting task.

I instantly regretted getting out of bed to investigate what was happening downstairs.

“You’re pretty affected by this news, my sweetheart,” Killian whispered as he swept me into his arms.

I rested my forehead against his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his neck as I weakly protested, “Put me down.”

“I will just as soon as we reach the top of the stairs,” he replied.

I said no more as I inhaled his familiar scent.

He seemed to be taking forever to climb the steps.  It was as if time had slowed down or, perhaps, he was just climbing slowly in order to prolong our connection.  Either way was fine with me.  This was the first that we’d had physical contact since before I’d been tricked by Gail to travel through the portal ahead of him and he’d been banned from following. 

We were almost at the top step when I whispered, “I miss you.”

His deep throated groan was followed by a spurt of energy in him.  Sprinting up the last of the steps, he rushed to the linen closet located just near our rooms and still cradling me in his arms, stealthily slipped inside.

His breathing was heavy as he leaned against the shelving in the darkness.

I knew that he was winded from carrying me like he had and that I should ask him to put me down, but I made no move to find release from his embrace.  It may have been wrong, but it just felt so good.  It was warm, safe, and comforting, as well as erotically tantalizing.  As hard as I tried, I couldn’t bring myself to ask him to release me.  Nor could I find the wherewithal to  move away.

His breath was hot and sweet as it caressed my face in the darkness.  I could tell by its intensity that his mouth was dangerously close to mine.  Still, I made no move to be free of his embrace.  Had I not been married to the man who was innocently sleeping behind a nearby door, I know that I would have pulled his head to me so that I could devour those lips that I knew so well and intensely craved.  As it was, my conscience and sense of right and wrong took control at just the right moment.

“You need to put me down,” I whispered.

Instead of complying with my request, he shifted so that I was leaning against a broad shelf.  I felt a touch of relief on his behalf for his arms when he released me and allowed the shelf to support my weight.  I was slender and light for my size and he possessed muscles that would rival those of a body builder, but I still thought he’d challenged them to the max by carrying me for so long.

He leaned close and I buried my face into his chest.  Inhaling his sweet scent, I whispered, “I didn’t mean like this.”

“I just need a few moments with you,” he whispered back.

“Lance…” I began.

“Me,” he interrupted.  “I was here for you when he wasn’t.  I fell in love with you and I know that you loved me back.  You can’t expect me to simply bow to that man and concede when it comes to your affections just because he happened to reappear.”

“He’s my husband,” I protested in a slightly forceful and choked whisper.

It was getting harder and harder to maintain reason.  My handsome and sexy Killian was far too close and he smelled sinfully delicious.  It made me realize just how much I’d missed him.  Not just since I’d returned with Lance, but during my time in servitude to Marduke as well.  I believe that I missed him more during that time than I had Lance.  Then, I was under the impression that Lance had done me wrong by marrying my attempted assassin, Lilith.  Thanks to Marduke and his lies.

Memories of our love making aroused my sexual senses.  If I didn’t do something to get out of there soon, I didn’t know if I’d have what it would take to resist him.

“He’s part of a seriously messed up situation,” my friend and former lover insisted. “That’s what he is.”  Then, after a slight hesitation, he added with a sadness that hinted of remorse, “As am I.”

“It is pretty messed up,” I admitted.

“You don’t want to go back in time with him,” he insisted.  “I didn’t need to hear you downstairs to know that.”  He took my chin in his strong hand and turned my face upward as if he could actually see me in the darkness.  “I’ve never traveled that far back, so I don’t know what you experienced, but I know you, my love.  I think I know you better than he does.  You claim that you two are soul mates, but I don’t believe it.  If anyone is soul mates, it’s you and me.”

“I married him,” I insisted.

He was beginning to confuse me.  Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I’d end up loving two men. Nor did it dawn on me that he and I just might be soul mates.  His words rang true deep in my core.  Yet, I inherently knew that Lance and I were meant to be together.  Was it possible to have more than one soul mate?  If so, it wasn’t fair and I hated it.

“I can hear the pain in your voice,” he said as his face drew closer to mine.

“I don’t regret marrying him,” I quickly protested.  “I love him.”

The heat of his breath and the touch of his lips as they fluttered against my ears sent a shiver of erotic delight down my body as he whispered, “And you also love me.”

“I do,” I whimpered as I struggled to regain control and balance.   “I love two men and it hurts.”

“Let me take that hurt from you, my love,” he whispered before kissing me with a passion that I’d forgotten he possessed.

His hand slid through the front of my robe and settled on my eager breast.  I made no move to stop him as his fingers kneaded and teased it to the point that my groin was crying for release.  A soft moan escaped my throat while his kiss lingered on.  My head went dizzy with passion and all sensibilities flew off into the darkness.

It was as if I was in a dream and not reality.  Perhaps the fact that all visibility was lost helped to make it seem unreal.  I didn’t know.  What I did know was that I wanted him.  I wanted to be with him, fully, like we’d done so many times in the past.

I wanted to lay next to him and feel the heat of his powerful nakedness against my flesh.  I longed to inhale his musky scent after he’d exerted himself satisfying me in an extensive session of love making.  I knew it was wrong and I should fight it, but my willpower had abandoned me along with my sensibilities.

My lips felt swollen and satisfied when he finally released them from his deeply passionate kiss.  It was a kiss that needed no words for me to understand the meaning behind it. I didn’t need a mirror to know that my lips were now a deep ruby in color.  My breath was almost as raspy as his as he gently tugged my robe from my shoulders to give him greater access to my hardened nipples. 

Although weak, guilt finally seized control of my brain.  I knew what was coming next.  I knew that it was wrong, but my body was slowly separating from my mind.  If I didn’t stop him right away, guilt’s wimpy hold on my conscience would slip away and I had no doubt that I’d never stop him. 

I wove my fingers through his wavy brown hair and, with a weak and pathetic tug, I went through the motion of pulling his head from my breast as I whispered in a husky, breathy tone. “This is wrong.  You need to stop.”

His teeth gently latched onto my protruding nipple and he teased it with his tongue in protest to my futile effort to be loyal to my husband.

With his mouth still filled with my flesh, he gently removed my hand from his head and said in a voice that was equally husky with lust, “Let me take it from you, my love.  Give me your pain.  Give me your love. Let me love you and make you see.”

I wasn’t sure what it was that he wanted me to see.  I assumed it was that he wanted me to see that he was the better man for me, but, at that point, I didn’t care.  His attention to my breasts had unleashed the animal lust that dwelled deep within me.  My mind might have been shouting guilty loyalty, but my body was screaming, ‘loyalty be damned.  I need release!’.

Considering the fact that I’d had a vigorous and lengthy session of love making with my husband less than an hour earlier, I found the depth of my desire surprising.

With a moan of submission, I melted into the moment and allowed myself to revel in the sensation of his passion. 

Feeling the shift in me, he quickly spread my legs and positioned himself between them.  If it was his intention to prevent me from closing them, he needn’t have worried.  I’d become an expert in separating my mind from my body as I allowed it to succumb to the erotic sensations during all of the unwanted sex with Jason.  It was as natural an act as breathing.  

I felt a deep contraction as he slid his long, strong fingers inside my moist and needy womanhood.  It triggered that separation.  I was now reveling in sexual heaven with minimal awareness of the identity of my partner.  I was sure that Killian wouldn’t have appreciated this fact, but it was a habit that was born out of pain, anger, hate, resentment, and guilt.  I may not have felt anger, hate, or resentment and he may not have caused me pain, but I did feel guilt over my actions.  Since there was guilt involved, the habit took over.

Before I was lost completely to the abandoned separation of mind and body, I choked out, “I love you, Killian.”

A soft, sexy, deep throated growl surged from his lips as he quickly released my breast and moved down between my legs.  I reacted so powerfully to his mouth on my womanhood that I could have sworn someone set off fireworks in the darkness. There was a literal buzz sensation in my mind for the briefest of moments.

His growl sounded more from annoyance than from pleasure as he murmured, “I taste him.”

I gasped in horror as I realized the meaning behind his words.  My body tightened with humiliation and disgust.  All erotic sensations were lost to my mortification over the fact that I’d let him do that when I still had remnants of Lance inside of me.

Feeling the mood fading and not willing to let it go, he quickly assured me that he didn’t mind.  “I’ll wash it away, my love.”

Before I could comprehend how he intended to clean me up when we were in a linen closet with no water, his thick, sturdy rod was deep inside of me.  His movements were strong and almost abusive as he rapidly thrust himself in and out so that he would quickly achieve the orgasm that would wash away Lance’s claim on me.

His body convulsed as he clung to me.  I could feel the power of his release inside of me.  Since we’d only had sex once before without a condom, I’d forgotten how much semen he was able to produce.  This time it was particularly abundant.  It was as if he’d called on all of his manly resources to do what he’d said he was going to do.  Wash away all signs of Lance. (In his mind, if nowhere else).

I could feel the stickiness of his seed sliding out of me, yet he made no effort to pull out.  He still felt hard and powerful as he slowly moved in and out of me again.  This time it was gentle and loving.  Even so, I’d been brought back to the point where my mind and body were once again connected and guilt was taking control.

“We shouldn’t have done this,” I lamented in a voice that was slightly louder than a whisper.  “We need to stop.”

“I can’t,” he half-whimpered, half-choked out as his thrusts grew more rapid and deep.  “I can’t let him have you when you belong to me.”

“Killian,” I moaned with lusty satisfaction. 

Somewhere between my declaration of our actions being wrong and his insistence on having me, his manhood managed to tease my g-spot. Once again, my body took control and shut out the nagging of my mind.

Lost in a sexual frenzy, I wrapped my legs around him and clung to his shoulders to help give him better access to my womanhood.  I did my best to match his deep, powerful thrusts while in the position that he had me in.  I felt a hunger for him that I didn’t recall feeling before.  Perhaps it was because there was no condom and we were flesh against flesh.

A brief fear of sexually transmitted diseases passed through my mind, but it quickly dissipated.  I knew him well enough to know that he rarely had sex without protection.  The odds of him being exposed to any form of sexually transmitted disease was extremely low.  Besides, it was a little late for that kind of worry.  As for pregnancy, I was taking birth control, so there was no worry there.

I allowed myself to get so lost in the moment that it took a few seconds for me to notice the light streaming into the closet or hear Nora’s  horrified gasp that blended with my cousin, Anton’s, outraged growl.