Chapter 9

Nix’s POV  

Reed was sacred for his life, so when they offered us rooms, Reed asked if we could share. I will let him know Lottie no longer wants to kill him. If I didn’t know him so well, I think I would have as well. Caren is amazing. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought Reed was her mate.   

Strangely, now, when I think of Caren now, I don’t feel that sense of wanting her. I guess it’s because I know I have a mate and who she is. “Diesel, we have a mate?” I told him. “No, we don’t. You haven’t marked her.” He says stubbornly. “It’s complicated.” I tell him. “I don’t care. I want my mate.” He yells this time, giving me a slight headache just behind my eyes.

I was so happy when I found her and that kiss. That kiss was just out of this world. I know a lot of that was the mate bond, but as a man, I knew I couldn’t be Eden’s mate. She is just awful. The way she speaks to her parents, how she acts. The way she treated me like an object. My life would be miserable and I would have to be at her beck and call, like a servant. I bet she has never done a damn thing for anyone else since.

Reed was lying on his bed when I walked into our room. “How did it go?” He asked me. “Well, she will not kill you, but she doesn’t like you either.” I told him.  

He glares at me. “I meant with the Princess, you idiot.”  

He was talking about my situation, not his. I looked at him. “I am going with you tomorrow.”  

“Nix, no. Come on. She is both you and Diesel’s mate. You can’t just dismiss her like that.”  

“You ran from your mate. Who are you to tell me what to do?” I snapped at him. Who is he to tell me what I can and can’t do?

He glares at me. “Yes Nix, I did, and I have regretted that decision every moment since. You don’t need to remind me. Jaden reminds me at every opportunity about how happy we could have been and how much of a damned fool I am. Seeing mated couples all around me, how in love they are. How I can see them living a long and happy future together. Reminds me of what I did. So no, you don’t need to remind me.”  

“I’m sorry, Reed. It was a reflex. I am just scared.” He gets up and walks over to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. “I know Nix, I know. You were there when I was at my worst. You helped me. Here is my advice. Give her a chance. She may not be perfect, but who is?”

I look at my friend, who gives me a half grin. “Is he right?” I ask Diesel. “I want my mate.” He says, I already knew that answer.

Walking into the bathroom and looking at myself in the mirror. I was adamant I was leaving. I was leaving her. But I remember how awful Reed was. Do I want that for myself? I don’t know. Reed's wolf makes him suffer daily and Jaden isn’t as headstrong as Diesel.

I wish I was in my annex; I wish I could talk to my mom about it. “Argh,” I yelled at myself. Sleep and breakfast. Tomorrow is a new day and I am tired.

“What are you going to do?” Reed asks me as I climb into my bed. “I am going to go to sleep and start tomorrow with a fresh perspective. I will speak to her again, but I can’t stay if she doesn’t change. It would please Diesel, but it would destroy me. We all need to be happy if we are to be together forever.”  

I don’t sleep. Diesel keeps going on about her. How they will make strong puppies together and how he will be an Alpha King one day. I keep thinking about how whiny and needy Eden is. I want a mate who will be my equal, not one that is afraid to break a nail or worried about her hair getting messed up. 

Reed’s breathing varies throughout the night. “Don’t run.” he shouts out at one point. I know he still struggles when he is awake. He tries to hide it, but I sometimes see him looking glum. Now I realize he struggles at night too, he gets no peace. It’s harder now to feel sorry for him, when I know who he ran from. He had his reasons, but he is now living with the consequences and he truly regrets what he did.

Eventually, I got up, ran a bath and lay in it, hoping to block out the world. I am not usually a bath person, but as I lay there listening to the sound of my heartbeat. I drifted off to sleep.

Banging on the door wakes me up. The water is cold and I look like a prune. When I make it out of the bathroom, Reed jumps on me straight away. “Have you decided?”

“No. I don’t know. It’s my future and I don’t have a clue.” My stomach grumbles. It needs food. “I will think about it over breakfast.” I told Reed. “Once I'm finished in the bathroom, I'll be down to join you. Someone has been hogging it all morning.” He says while smiling at me.

I headed out of our room and down a vast hallway. I follow the smell of food. That is the only way I will not get lost. Finally, I made it to the ground floor. The smell of bacon is getting stronger, so I know I am heading in the right direction. 

“Mate.” Diesel tells me as a couple of women walk towards me, one of them holding a young boy. Is that? No. Is that Eden? “Hey Eden.” I said, she looks so different. She looks terrible and the hairnet just completes the look. I smile only because I don’t want to laugh at her “Nice hairnet.”

“Yeah, I took your advice and I am trying to be a bit more helpful around the place. I have been in the kitchen this morning.” She says as she pulls the blue hairnet out of her red hair. It looks a mess afterwards, but she doesn’t seem to care. 

“I was going to give my new friend, Ara, a hand at her next job. You know, gain some perspective about what goes on around the place.” She tells me. “Mate.” Diesel tells me again. “Or try at least.” She says. This makes me smile.

“Where is your next job, Ara?”  

“The stables.” Ara answers as she struggles to hold the squirming boy in her arms. 

I took a second look at Eden. “I might swing by and give you a hand.” I told her. If she is willing to try and be a better person. Then I should try to give our mate bond a chance. It is, after all, what I wanted. The stables, though? She couldn’t have picked a worse job.