And that didn’t just disappear.My chest tightened as I breathed in the candy-smell of Milka’s hair. As I breathed in a past I missed and a future I never will. As I breathed in heartbreak and hope.Milka suddenly gasped and wriggled of my arms. “Son? Dadda son?”My eyes flicked between her and Chloe. Chloe laughed on a sob.“Song,” she whispered. “She wants you to sing her a song.”“Oh! A song! Let’s see . . .” I swooped Milka up in my arms. “Row, row, row, your boat . . .”“No!” She laughed anyway. “Dadda son.”“One of yours,” Chloe clarified, hugging herself. “She doesn’t like nursery rhymes. She’s your kid, for sure.”Milka grinned.“Okay, what one?” Am I seriously asking a two-year-old what to sing? “Oh, I know. This one.”I hummed the melody and she squealed happily. I took that as a yes. I launched into the opening line, singing softly. I knew it because I wrote it, and I knew Chloe knew it, too, because she was there when I did.That night, she switched out half the words beca
I nodded and sipped the coffee.“Smart-ass,” he muttered. “Is she going for a nap soon?”I knew where this was going. “Yes, after lunch, and yes, we’ll talk then.”He sipped his drink slowly, his eyes on mine. “Good.”Silence hovered between us for a long moment, and then . . .“Mama? Mama? SARS!”I sat on the sofa to the daily “no nap” chorus being shouted from upstairs and brought my legs up, wrapping my arms around my knees and hugging my thighs to my chest. My chin rested on the top of my knees, and I stared at a spot on the wall over the top of Conor’s head.“She do that often?” he asked, breaking through the silence.Without Milka there, it was tense. Unfortunately his words didn’t snap that tension, just the silence.“Every single day,” I replied. “Give her two minutes, and she’ll give up and go to sleep.”“Stubborn, huh?”“She learned from the best,” I muttered to myself.Conor caught it anyway, and his lips twitched. “You said it.”Before, I would have flicked my foot out and
Milka. Not us.I repeated this like a mantra, because it would be so easy to be us again.Two and a half years had passed, secrets had broken hearts, and emotions had been twisted into complete messes, but nothing had changed.Not really.And I didn’t have a damn clue what to do about that.“Back so soon?” Chloe snapped and opened the door.A smirk tugged at my lips. I couldn’t help it. I was mad at her, sure, but if I couldn’t appreciate the way those baby blues sparked at me when she was mad, I’m a shit excuse for a man.“It would appear that way,” I answered.“Don’t you have better things to do?”“Like what?” I threw at her as I walked into the house.“Oh, I don’t know. Practice, maybe? Fight off rabid fangirls? Get in said fangirls’ pants?”“Jealously doesn’t suit you, princess.” I smirked again. “Where’s Milka?”“In the yard screaming ‘bunny.’ One came out of the woods an hour ago and she thought it was for her.” She shut the door and followed me through. “And I’m not jealous. I
She ran my order through without a word, and it was only when she placed the bunny into a bag that I noticed her hesitating.“Is something wrong?”“Would you—would you mind signing an autograph for my granddaughter?” she asked shyly. “I don’t like to ask but she’d kill me if I didn’t.”I smiled widely. “Of course, ma’am. Do you have a pen and something to write on?”She beamed at me and handed me a pen and paper. “Her name is Alice.”I winked again and scrawled a quick note to her, scribbling my name at the bottom. “Thanks for your help today, ma’am. I appreciate it.”“No problem!” She waved as I took my purchases and headed toward the door.I carried them out to my truck, where a suspicious-looking group of teen girls had magically appeared.Fantastic.This was why you never send security for a break.I gritted my teeth and headed for the truck, trying not to get annoyed about them touching it. “Excuse me, ladies.”Giggles.Giggles.I fucking hated giggles.I ignored their gasps beca
Breathing, because I couldn’t when she was around.I felt guilty for being an asshole to her, yet I had no reason whatsoever to be nice to her for even a second. That was the thing about being the guy who was always nice to the girl. Even when a good dose of dickhead is warranted, that guilt sneaked in, ready to tear you apart.Ironic, given how she tore me apart.I stalked back into the house and grabbed her phone.“What’re you doin’?” she asked.I dialed my number, and when my phone rung in my pocket, I ended the call. I threw the phone on the sofa next to her.“When she wakes up, call me. You’re bringing her to my house tonight.”“I am, huh?” She straightened.I nodded, finding her eyes. I stared her down, pinning her in place with my gaze. “Yeah, princess, you are. So make sure she’s got everything she needs. It’s about time she met her family.”******* ********* **********“You forget how to answer your phone, you dick?” Aiden yelled when I walked through the door.“The fuck did
With one last push, I left the woods and arrived in Conor’s yard. My stomach churned with nervousness, because I had no idea what kind of reception I was going to get when I walked into the Conor household.Conor opened the back door and waved me over. He came down the porch steps. “Get her out. I’ll lift the stroller.”“I’m never doing that again,” I warned him. “That was impossible.”He half-rolled his eyes. “I’ll push her back.”Damn straight you were. “Thanks,” I said once he was picked up the stroller.I lifted Milka up the steps and set her on the top. Conor grabbed her bag and held out his hand. Milka reached out and wrapped her chubby fingers around one of his, and I wrapped my arms around myself.Shit. I wanted to be anywhere but there.I followed him to the door but paused in the doorway. Leah was already there, making Milka giggle, but only his mom, Diana, was in sight.“Chloe!” She took off her oven mitts and turned to me. “How are you, darlin’?”Her arms came around me in
Bray reached beneath the table and gave my knee a gentle squeeze. I offered a lame half-smile and pushed some chicken around my plate.“So, Chloe.” Diana cut through the silence with her happy tone. “Where you been, darlin’?”Cut the silence, not the awkwardness.“Oh. Florida,” I answered, making sure Milka had a bite on her spoon now that it was cooled. “I rented a small apartment on the outskirts of the city.”“That’s lovely! And still so close.”“I didn’t want to be too far from Dad because of his treatment.”“Absolutely.” She nodded. “And here some gossips were saying you were in a Colombian prison for being a drug mule.”I raised an eyebrow. “Really? How did they even get there?”Aiden grinned across the table.“That was you?” Leah shrieked. “What the hell!”“Chill, Leah!” he said, laughing. “I thought I’d add something funny into it. All it takes is a text message from a blocked number to Nancy and everyone knows.”I covered my hand with my mouth and laughed into it. “And she th
“Jesus, Chloe. Let me push her back. You said yourself it was hard for you.”I took a deep breath and let go of the stroller, letting him take control. I wouldn’t argue in front of Milka. I’ll save it for later instead.Because there was bound to be a later, and if not, there’ll be a sooner. Either one worked for me.I trudged along behind him, and I was secretly thankful he pushed her. It was hard work before, and now it was getting dark. . . . And, yeah. I hated the dark.After several minutes we ended up at my yard and I dug for my key. I let us in through the back and Conor unstrapped Milka.“Can I put her to bed?” he asked.“I’ll get her some pajamas.” I turned and went upstairs to her room, checking she had everything in there. Double-checking. Triple-checking. Wishing I could take the CD out of the player because now it seemed so damn stupid.Hey, I kept your baby from you, but it’s totally okay because you still sing her to sleep every night.I banged my head against the wall