Chapter 9 StrugglingCountless times, I returned home with messy hair and disheveled clothes.When Dexter saw it, he only questioned me with a stern face. "Caroline, have you been fooling around?"You're not even 18 yet. Do you think Mom would be happy to see you like this?"I held back my tears and stifled my cry.But I couldn't stop the pain in my body and my heart.I wanted to tell him that it was Lana, together with some boys from our class, who stripped off my clothes and took photos of me.A harmless smile graced Lana's beautiful face."Caroline, if you dare reveal it, I'll spread these photos."Let's see what Dexter will think of you."Did it matter if I revealed it or not? I didn't know.I started taking medication and losing handfuls of hair.But it was useless.I went to a psychological clinic.The doctor gently touched my head, her eyes filled with tenderness and concern that were rare to me.My nose tingled, tears streaming down.I had never received such ki
Chapter 10 Hatred and RevengeAfter I fell ill, my temper became bad.My attitude toward Lana and Dexter worsened.I did poorly in the monthly exam, but I still managed to score better than Lana.I was happy that, at least in terms of academics, I was better than her.I raised my eyes and met her hateful gaze.Then her mouth curled into a sinister smile.At first, I didn't understand what it meant until she left with a few people.Soon after, rumors spread in class that I was a jinx who caused my mother's death.When I returned to my seat during the break, I found dead snakes and poisonous spiders stuffed into my desk.My chair and table were replaced with ones that couldn't be used.The physical humiliation wasn't good enough for Lana, and she resorted to psychological torture. On the way out of school, she flashed a proud smile at me, her round eyes hiding filthy things.I was so angry that my mind went blank.I threw my textbook at her with all my might, hitting her h
Chapter 11 Meeting HerDuring this difficult time, I met her.My soul was torn to pieces. I was physically and mentally exhausted.My lips were cracked. Heavy dark circles were under my eyes. My hair was dry and thin.My mind was confused, and my steps were unsteady.I didn't know where to go, and I finally stopped on a deserted pedestrian overpass.I looked down, seeing few people.That was good.I didn't want to cause a panic.She later said, "When I saw you that day, my first impression was that you were ugly. It wasn't that you were physically unattractive. On the contrary, you were beautiful. It was just that your state was really bad."You looked like an animal dying of thirst in the desert or a fish drowning in the lake."I smiled and patted her hand. "You're talking nonsense. Fish can't drown."She rolled her eyes. "It's that kind of feeling."You were full of gloom and looked like you could die at any moment."My smile froze on my face.In fact, I did plan to ju
Chapter 12 Happy SunshineEvery day spent with Amber McCoy was filled with happiness.True to her name, she was like a little sun that brought joy and delight to others.At least, she was the sun in my life.I had told her more than once, "Amber, I would have died without you."She patted my hand and replied, "Your words are even more pleasing than what those scumbags would say to deceive me."I nodded in agreement because I wasn't lying.After a pause, she held my face in her hands and spoke seriously. "From now on, you're not allowed to die, Caroline."I broke my promise.In truth, I wanted to keep it.Ever since I had been with her, my depression had lessened, and soon I didn't need medication anymore.Amber would take me to eat delicious food, write "Happy Birthday to Carrie" on my birthday cake, ride a motorcycle with me to see the beautiful night view by the river, and sing me the songs she had just composed.She once asked me earnestly, "Carrie, I don't have any fami
Chapter 13 PanicThe fifth day after my death, Dexter's brows furrowed deeper, and he started to panic a little.Before, the longest time I had ever run away from home was three days.Now I looked forward to seeing his reaction when he learned of my death.Amber once told me to live in the moment and to be happy.Soon, my grades plummeted rapidly.They dropped so much that I had to talk with the teachers at school, and Dexter was summoned to the office.When we got home, he predictably blew up at me."Caroline, you're already 18. Can't you be more mature?"Do you think dropping your grades to seek attention is cool?"In the past, I would do anything to gain the attention of my dad and brother.I even saw nosebleeds as a stroke of luck.At least then, Dexter and our dad would gather around me, looking at me a little longer.But now, for me, the meaning of studying hard was lost. I just wanted to follow my heart and live a happier life.I no longer argued with him.Instead
Chapter 14 Unexpected LoveAmber never let me go home alone, and she wouldn't let me drink when we hung out.When she got drunk, she would have a close friend send me home.They were all very gentlemanly and more real than Dexter's well-dressed friends.I finally understood that birds of a feather really flocked together.In Dexter's eyes, I was dirty, so his friends thought it was okay to touch me casually.In contrast, Amber treated me like a sister, and her friends treated me nicely.There was an unexpected event. A boy said he liked me.From the moment he first saw me, he liked me.Amber winked at me and pulled me aside to whisper to me, "Eric is a good kid. He has never dated since I've known him, and he doesn't fool around when we go out."If you like him, you can give it a try. But girls should try to avoid dating early."I started dating Eric Graves.Only then did I understand how a boy treated a girl when he loved her.When Eric drove me home, Dexter saw us.He s
Chapter 15 Painful Memory"Do you have no sense of shame, Caroline?"Do you want to sleep with that bastard so much?" Dexter barked.I fumed with rage until my vision was blurred.I mustered all my strength and slapped him.Dexter's head tilted, and a distinct mark was left on his fair face.His eyes were filled with disbelief.This was the first and last time I resisted him.I wanted to leave this family forever."Brother, this is the last time I call you like this."You raised me for 18 years, and I suffered for 18 years."You don't deserve to be my brother."Dexter raised his eyebrows, narrowed his eyes, and pursed his lips into a thin line. He looked like an enraged lion, trying hard to suppress his anger.In a moment, his face began to distort. He grabbed my shoulders and shook them violently."Caroline, you've lost your mind."When you regret it, I won't forgive you or let you go back to my home," he said.I snorted and looked him in the eye."That's what I hope
Chapter 16 WorriedOn the seventh day after my death, Dexter decided to go out and look for me for the first time.However, Lana stopped him, saying, "Carrie must have gone to that man's house."If you go and find her now, you may run into her boyfriend."She stopped without making it explicit.Dexter sat down heavily on the leather sofa and threw the car keys aside, abandoning the idea of looking for me.I saw a smug smile on Lana's face.Shortly after, Dexter called his buddy and complained about me. "Caroline has been gone for seven days. She must be fooling around.""Tsk, I've seen your sister a few times at the bar, surrounded by shady characters," said his friend."She's probably in someone's arms now."I listened with a cold face as Dexter and his friend slandered my innocence.It turned out I was a loose woman in his mind.I drifted away, watching the countless lights shining in the distance.I couldn't summon any emotions anymore.I thought of Amber and Eric.Th