Chapter 6- How could I have been so cruel?

Marry me?

Again?

Why?

Yes, Elvie thought dazedly as she gazed up at his beautiful face. His heat burned her, tracing down her neck to her breasts and lower still, his powerful, rough hands against the tenderness of her skin. How could a man be so macho, so beautiful, and so powerful all at once? Zander was everything her ripped, hollow, terrified soul had desired. He would stand up for her. He love her and he would complete her life.

Yes! She would make him hers. 

But even as the words rose to her lips, something stopped her. Something she couldn’t understand made her pull her face away from his touch. "Marry you again, why?" she whispered. She searched his dark eyes, her heartbeat quickening in her chest. "I don’t even know you."

He blinked.

Elvie saw that he was surprised. Then his eyebrows lowered into a frown. "Dear, you knew me well enough to conceive my child."

She swallowed. "But I can’t remember you. It wouldn’t be fair to take you as my husband. It wouldn’t be right."

"I can assure you that we have been married for six years; I have a picture here on my phone," he said urgently.

Really?

Then why marry her again?

How could any woman deny marrying a man like Zander?

But it didn’t feel right.

With a deep breath, Elvie turned away, glancing out at the passing scenery. It had changed since they’d left the outskirts of the city, becoming soft and green beyond the rain-splattered windows. Trees had started to turn orange and yellow, rich autumnal colours between the green.

"Elvie..."

She looked back at Zander. He was so gorgeous—deadly handsome and powerful—and at the moment, his sensual mouth was pressed into a hard line. He was clearly determined to have his way.

But something inside her made her resist him.

"Zander, thank you for asking me to marry you again," she said awkwardly. "It’s very warm and loving. But, um, we are already married; there is no need for a grand gesture—"

"But I want to see you smile," he corrected her. "Weddings and all are all about happy moments; maybe you'll remember our wedding before." He muttered with urgency. If he couldn't convince her to marry him again, then he must order everyone in the mansion to pretend that they were still married and that their divorce never happened, and he would make sure that Elvie would never know about Kristal.

"But I think...Um. it's not necessary. I trust you. I believe you." She smiled.

"We’ll see," he said softly. Silence fell on their drive as she watched the passing scenery. Finally, the car turned off the road into a smaller lane. She saw a massive but modern mansion at the base of tree-covered hills, reflected in a wide grey lake.

"Is that your house?" she breathed in shock.

"Ours."

The car drove up the long lane through the park and woodlands, then stopped in front of the entrance. As Zander opened the door and helped her out of the car, Elvie looked up with an intake of breath. She craned her head back to get a good look at the mansion, with its striking Victorian Gothic parapets stabbing upward into the steel-grey sky.

Holding her hand over her eyes to block out the noon sunlight that had finally penetrated the clouds, she looked back at him. "I lived here with you?"

"Yes."

She looked at him sharply. "I couldn't remember anything here."

Taking her hand, Zander escorted her past the grand sweep of the front door. Inside the foyer, seven servants waited to greet her, headed by the butler and an old woman.

"Welcome back, Mrs. Stanton." The old woman sniffed into her apron. "Your husband loved you so much. He was so glad to see you'd finally come home!"

Zander frowned at Maria. Surely she exaggerated their lie.

Elvie sighed. Home? But it wasn’t her home. Apparently, she’d barely set foot in this place for years!

Elvie pondered, wait, where did it come from? Those notions—had she barely set foot down in this place?

But looking at the elderly housekeeper’s sad face, Elvie felt a sympathetic pang. She put an arm around her.

"Thank you for welcoming me back," she said softly. Elvie paused delicately. "Has it been so…"

"Four, no, five years. I–I mean, weeks. You left when, um—" her voice trailed off as she wiped tears with her apron. Zander furrowed his forehead at Maria, giving her a warning look.

"I left with my daughter, right?" Elvie asked, looking at him. "Did Zander and I fight before I—"

The older woman shook her head wistfully. "No, it was just a little misunderstanding," she whispered over the lump in her throat. "I’m sorry. Let me take you to your room. You’ll find it’s just as you left it last."

Now it was Elvie’s turn to frown, as she thought.

Her own room? Wasn't she sleeping with Zander?

Weren't they married? Weren't they sharing a bed?

Shortly afterwards, the quietly sobbing housekeeper left them in Elvie’s old bedroom. In the darkness, with Zander behind her in the only light of the double doorway, Elvie yanked back the black curtains, filling the room with afternoon light.

Turning back to get a good look at her room, she choked back a gasp of dismay. Everything was pink, down to the king-sized, black, luxurious bed. Dramatic. Modern. Sexy. So—womanly.

Zander leaned against the door frame as Elvie looked through the room, desperate for something—anything—that would tell her what she needed to know. She opened the closet doors, running her hands idly over the new clothes that hung there. The clothes were like the room—so womanly and dramatic. Powerful clothes for a woman who desired attention and knew how to wield it.

Elvie shivered. Was this her room? It felt like it was not hers. Like it was someone else. She thought to herself.

Then, she pulled open the shelves, touching each item lightly with her hands. Luxurious shoes and bags? "You weren’t kidding," she said slowly. "I do shopping constantly. Are you sure this is my—um—things? It felt like…"

"It's all yours," he lied. Of course, he made sure to call his assistant and purchase them all in a hurry.

"Everything seems so new, so—"

"You like them new, Elvie." His face seemed carefully expressionless.

"Oh."

"It felt like it wasn't me at all." 

When he didn’t reply, she turned back to face him. "I know," was all he said. "But this is your room and your things."

She paused and looked at the picture frame on the bedside table.

"Is that our wedding photo?"

"Yes," he swallowed. It's good for his assistant to add it to his list. He thought.

"We aren't sharing a room then?"

"We—of course, we shared a room, but I know you won't like it just yet. After all, you still couldn't remember being married to me."

She smiled and said, "Oh. Thanks for being so kind and considerate, Zander."

Elvie looked at the sexy clothes and shoes that all seemed foreign, as if they belonged to someone else. Leaning against the modern pink four-poster bed, she looked around her with a heavy sigh.

"Where is my child’s room?"

"Next to yours," he answered, as he noted that she called their daughter her child, not their child.

"Can we go there? Maybe I can remember?"

"Sure." Zander sighed, he just hoped that his assistant and maids managed to pull through his child’s room on time. "Come, follow me."

A few seconds later, entering the next room, Elvie gaped at how lavish the room was.

"Wow!" she muttered with shock.

The room was charming and had a playful space filled with soft pastel colours. The walls were adorned with whimsical and colourful wall decals featuring her child’s favourite animals and characters. A plush pink area rug covers the floor, providing a cosy spot for her to play. A low bookshelf held an array of picture books and stuffed toys, while a small desk was perfectly placed in the centre. "This is amazing," she said with a smile as she surveyed the room. The pink, fluffy bed was adorned with a canopy draped in sheer fabric, creating a dreamy atmosphere. "But I couldn't remember anything," she added sadly.

"You'll remember soon dear, stop thinking too much." There was a distinct edge to his voice.

Her heart was breaking, and he was making jokes? "Look, dear," he said evenly. "We will find her, okay? And about us, it all doesn’t matter. Married couples fight all the time, and we aren't different, but surely, I can assure you, we do love each other."

"Yeah, I know that, but I can't... remember anything. I'm so disappointed." She jabbed her finger towards the closet. "I’ve just found out I was a mother who only cared about my looks and ignored my husband, who loved me." Tears rushed into her eyes. "And I left our daughter somewhere," she whispered. "How could I have been so cruel?"