Chapter 10

Emilia clung to the hanging on her bed and wept for her child. She had held her tears well enough while Octavius had remained with her even though a few rebellious tears had slipped out. She hung on for dear life with her hand flat on her belly as she wept bitterly.

Ilena stood at the threshold of the room watching her mistress bemoan the loss of a child she would never know and love. On one hand, she held a jar of mead in case her mistress needed it to get too drunk to feel her pain, and on another, she held a pot of hot water with some tea leaves and a few aromatic for though she was a woman of principles she also knew her mistress might require the aromatic plants to dull her pain. She had gotten the plants from the oldest priest who made sacrifices to Daegon, the Intavia god of gods during winter, summer, and fall festivals. He had narrowed his eyes suspiciously at her but did not comment giving the plants over.

As she watched her mistress wallow in misery she knew she had made the best choice. She set the items in her hand on the huge dressing table beside Emilia's bed and poured some hot water in a cup, adding some tea leaves and aromatics. The deceptive sweet smell of the aromatic wafted up and even though her sight was blinded by her tears, Emilia's head came up. Ilena stirred the mixture and lifted it, taking it to the bed.

"My lady, you should drink this," she said softly.

Emilia looked from the cup to her face. Her eyes were filled with tears and more tears ran down her cheeks, her eyes were red-rimmed. Since Octavius left for Camelorn that morning she had dismissed Ilena and every other maid and had taken to her room to cry. But Ilena could only leave her for so long, she was her maid after all and her duty was to her mistress and if anything happened to her she would be held responsible.

"What is that? It smells suspicious?"

Ilena smiled gently and with motherly love. "It is tea, my lady, I mixed it with the chagfris herb to you dull your pain and take your mind off what you had to sacrifice."

Emilia sniffed "What if my mother and father find out?"

"They won't my lady, not if I tell them you are having your monthlies." Ilena took Emilia's in hers and curved around the cup. "Take this, my lady, I have your best interest at heart and I wish to see my lady get over what has happened. Take consolation that you'll be with the one you love from now on and he will give you as many children as you want."

Emilia's eyes welled with tears again. "What have I done, Ilena?"

"You have done what you have to to get out of your father's clutches and his ill-proposed marriage to Helos, my lady. My lady, my king your father will have my mind he finds out that I made you see Prince Octavius without his consent in the first but for what it is worth you deserve happiness"

Emilia smiled through her tears. "But what kind of a mother gives up her child for anything at all"

"A brave one, my lady. One that will be a good mother to the many more children I am sure the gods will bless her with." Ilena pushed the cup higher to Emilia's lips "Drink up my lady and if this does not get you drunk enough to forget your sorrows I have some mead here. You should sleep when you are done forgetting what you had to do today and your guilt will be no more when you awake tomorrow."

Emilia complied, raising the cup to her lips. She let the sweet aroma of the tea calm her nerves. As she inhaled the tea mixed with chagfris, an aromatic that was known to both induce sleep and cause a drunken haze when taken too much, she felt the weight in her heart and chest ease up. She took a deep gulp that scorched her throat and for a moment the pain dulled her mind. Ilena moved away from the bed to sit on the stool in front of the dressing table and poured some mead into a goblet just in case. Emilia breathed a small sigh of relief with her eyes closed as the tangy-sweet scent of the chagfris engulfed her momentarily dulling her mind. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes with a slight smile. Now she understood why father always insisted on having the herb added to the drinks served in his court. It made very quick work of her pain and made her want for something far stronger and even though the echo of her tear resonated at some hidden corner of her mind she felt some small measure of peace.

"Bring the mead, Ilena"

"Yes, my lady." Ilena handed the goblet to her.

Emilia took a sip and it burned a slow trail down her throat down to her stomach where it settled in a hot pool. It tasted quite different from the regular wine she was allowed to drink, it was stronger and had a bitter taste.

"Do you really think I have done the right thing?"

Ilena took one look at Emilia's glazed-over eyes. "Yes, my lady."

Emilia nodded. She took a bigger gulp, emptied the cup, and set it aside.

She had done the right thing. The gods had the right to demand anything of her because very soon she would be with her love forever.

Octavius rode his horse into the stable and dismounted striding quick into the servants' quarters through the arched doorway by the left side of the stable. No servant was about at the time of the day because it was evening and they all making preparations to serve dinner so he snuck through passages until he got to the royal quarters. He opened the door to his room and met Garius in it. Garius was polishing his armor, sword, and shield, a task he had given to one of the soldiers. He should have known the old man was going to be waiting for him by the time he arrived.

"Your Highness," Garius bowed.

Octavius raised his right hand to him. "What is the news?"

"Your highness I have spoken to Gustoff and he has agreed to make the weapons available in two or more weeks but the fool demands more payment in gold and bronze"

"Then we will give it to him. He will pay for his greed once we win the war but for now, the only thing that matters is this battle so give him everything he asks for and more and tell him to get the weapons ready in six days because there is no time to waste"

Garius nodded but couldn't stop himself from observing his prince whose eyes were unnaturally bright and with the way he carried his shoulders and bowed his head he knew something wasn't right.

"How did it go, my prince?"

His shoulder slumping further, Octavius turned to face Garius but he held his tears in. "I sacrificed my child," he said simply.

Garius immediately came forward and held his shoulders in a strong grip forcing Octavius to look into his eyes. "Never regret anything you do if you believe it is for a just cause. I lost my son at war because he saved my life when he took a sword for me to protect my back in battle. I regret not being the one protecting him but I don't regret or disapprove of his bravery for my sake."

"This is different, Garius."

"It is not for in this you are protecting your woman, you are the hero here giving up your child for a woman you would rather be with. You will have more children, your highness, brave, strong sons and beautiful daughters."

Octavius nodded and patted Garius' hand. "Thank you. I intend to visit Ashterah's temple tomorrow"

Garius nodded and stepped back. "Whatever you are doing, my lord, do it quick for the princess of Amire will be here in 2 days."